This is your Shadowrunning team on drugs
"I got an idea"
"No you don't."
"Unanimous. No you don't."
"Can an oven tell the difference between kids and dwarves?"
"It can tell the difference between Jews and Germans."
"That's just because the Germans were putting the Jews in the ovens."
"White Castle Power!"
"When did the Ferret Leggers get rich? What'd they do?"
"I don't know, let's grab some and beat it out of them."
"Well, there's an elderly man walking his dog down the block."
"Thwack, grab him!"
"Tell us how you got rich, or I'll kill the mascot!"
"Oh, Bobby. You've got knowledge 4 in Weaselbagging. You're pretty sure it's not a weasel. It's probably not even in the weasel family."
"I say this in the most scholarly way possible for a person with logic 1: Uh. Dat ain't no weasel."
"He's a dwarf, that's ethnic food."
"A little light starts blinking."
"AH IT'S A BOMB!"
"No, no ::waving in a circle:: it will start blinking faster when it's pointed in the right direction."
"Docwagon?! Hammer! ::beats vigorously:: You fucked up, VD. You fucked up."
"It goes like this: LiquorstoreliquorstoregunshopgunshopgunshopgunshopliquorstoreliquorstoregunshopgunshoppawnshopliquorstorepawnshopgunshopWhite Castle!"
"Do you you, in fact, yell 'suckapunch'?"
"No, I'm not suckerpunching anything. I do yell, HWUAH!!"
"Okay, you yell hwuah. Unfortunately, the troll rolled almost twice the number of sucesses as the elf, so you get a little torque on it and you smash sideways into the windshield. Because it's a delivery truck in Redmond, it's pretty well armored. The glass turns opaque as it does when safety glass is shattered. Take 4 stun. Now I want you all to take a moment and just imagine that happening."
"The old man is kind of staring in open-mouthed what-the-fuck at all of this happening."
"I'm not there for Karis, I'm there for you."
"Hey, I could use a new pelt."
"As the motorcycle and two FerretLeggers go flying through a White Castle window."
"Well, I can't suckapunch him until his groin is out in the open."
"Well, his feet are facing you."
"Oh. SUCKAPUNCH!"
"...I need a catchphrase!"
"Your catchphrase is YeehawAmen!"
"You gonna put some burgers in your trenchcoat and go up to people and go ::opens coat:: 'hey! You want some White Castle?'"
"You know that's really not any more sketchy than buying from White Castle."
"I'll throw more motorcycles at them."
"NO YOU WON'T!!"
"The good news is, it's not recognizable as a White Castle van."
"The bad news is, there's a universal association of stoners with vans. I don't know what the Mystery Machine is, but we have one."
"The good news is, we already have a dog, the bad news is we don't have any Scooby Snacks."
"Yes we do, we've got NovaCoke!"
"Okay, my toe is currently caught in my jeans."
"Oh, in that case the Weaselbaggers are toootally here but not here unless we hear more details."
"::silence:: ...I have a ferret."
"Alright boys, this is it! This is the big time!"
"You're...what do you call it? Provisational! You're a pledge."
"On my honor, I will do my best to do my duty..."
"Shut up, Jesus!"
"If they're pledges shouldn't we have Greek letters in our name?"
"Do you know Greek?"
"I know...a Greek..."
"The guy at the falaffel shop don't count"
"Plus I think he's Korean."
"Really? The name Kim Papadopolis didn't give it away?"
"Yeah, and he kept asking if I wanted any 'glape reaves'."
"A Fistful of Credsticks. A Few Credsticks More."
"If you kill a security guard...you become security guard!"
"What?"
"...Don't listen to Jesus."
"How much stuff?"
"Just one truck."
"Is it a truck full of White Castle, cause we're really good with those!"
"What like an anti missile dwarf missile? Star Dwarfs!"
"I think 'in tact' means the wheels have to be on."
"But we only have like 15 wheels, what if we need more?"
"We could always nail more on somewhere."
"We're Shadowrunners!!!"
"...is it small or big? My fingers do this!"
"When did you have a stutter all of a sudden?"
"We got all these guns, right?"
"...I can hit stuff."
"Listen to Jesus, that's the word of God."
"Yeah, that's right. I hate black tape. I think it might be making a move on the white tape."
"You know, when you tear black tape, it hurts more."
"What if we tie all the triggers together to make kind of a gattling gun. Except it wouldn't turn."
"You see a bunch of guns tied together. You're guessing it's for intimidation. I mean no one would actually try to use that. That's just retarded."
"Alright, boys, escort it."
"Hey big boy, wanna have a good time?"
"Madness? This. is. WEASELBAGGERS!!"
"You're not Admiral Ackbar."
"You're right, that's why we didn't know it's a trap!"
"I have now demonstrated beyond a shadow of a doubt why I am called 'Sparks'."
"You also don't have very much body hair left, on a similar note."
"I'm going to discus throw this tire rim."
"Give me one number between 1 and 6."
"2."
"I would have said 7."
"I go over to the jeep to see if there are any people alive inside."
"There are a couple of people who aren't quite dead yet."
"I hit them with my krikkit bat until they aren't anymore."
"Sparks? Sparks? He must have gone to the bathroom."
"In all fairness, he probably did with all the electrical current that went into him."
"It's like Lord of the Flies...but we're all Piggy!"
"No you don't."
"Unanimous. No you don't."
"Can an oven tell the difference between kids and dwarves?"
"It can tell the difference between Jews and Germans."
"That's just because the Germans were putting the Jews in the ovens."
"White Castle Power!"
"When did the Ferret Leggers get rich? What'd they do?"
"I don't know, let's grab some and beat it out of them."
"Well, there's an elderly man walking his dog down the block."
"Thwack, grab him!"
"Tell us how you got rich, or I'll kill the mascot!"
"Oh, Bobby. You've got knowledge 4 in Weaselbagging. You're pretty sure it's not a weasel. It's probably not even in the weasel family."
"I say this in the most scholarly way possible for a person with logic 1: Uh. Dat ain't no weasel."
"He's a dwarf, that's ethnic food."
"A little light starts blinking."
"AH IT'S A BOMB!"
"No, no ::waving in a circle:: it will start blinking faster when it's pointed in the right direction."
"Docwagon?! Hammer! ::beats vigorously:: You fucked up, VD. You fucked up."
"It goes like this: LiquorstoreliquorstoregunshopgunshopgunshopgunshopliquorstoreliquorstoregunshopgunshoppawnshopliquorstorepawnshopgunshopWhite Castle!"
"Do you you, in fact, yell 'suckapunch'?"
"No, I'm not suckerpunching anything. I do yell, HWUAH!!"
"Okay, you yell hwuah. Unfortunately, the troll rolled almost twice the number of sucesses as the elf, so you get a little torque on it and you smash sideways into the windshield. Because it's a delivery truck in Redmond, it's pretty well armored. The glass turns opaque as it does when safety glass is shattered. Take 4 stun. Now I want you all to take a moment and just imagine that happening."
"The old man is kind of staring in open-mouthed what-the-fuck at all of this happening."
"I'm not there for Karis, I'm there for you."
"Hey, I could use a new pelt."
"As the motorcycle and two FerretLeggers go flying through a White Castle window."
"Well, I can't suckapunch him until his groin is out in the open."
"Well, his feet are facing you."
"Oh. SUCKAPUNCH!"
"...I need a catchphrase!"
"Your catchphrase is YeehawAmen!"
"You gonna put some burgers in your trenchcoat and go up to people and go ::opens coat:: 'hey! You want some White Castle?'"
"You know that's really not any more sketchy than buying from White Castle."
"I'll throw more motorcycles at them."
"NO YOU WON'T!!"
"The good news is, it's not recognizable as a White Castle van."
"The bad news is, there's a universal association of stoners with vans. I don't know what the Mystery Machine is, but we have one."
"The good news is, we already have a dog, the bad news is we don't have any Scooby Snacks."
"Yes we do, we've got NovaCoke!"
"Okay, my toe is currently caught in my jeans."
"Oh, in that case the Weaselbaggers are toootally here but not here unless we hear more details."
"::silence:: ...I have a ferret."
"Alright boys, this is it! This is the big time!"
"You're...what do you call it? Provisational! You're a pledge."
"On my honor, I will do my best to do my duty..."
"Shut up, Jesus!"
"If they're pledges shouldn't we have Greek letters in our name?"
"Do you know Greek?"
"I know...a Greek..."
"The guy at the falaffel shop don't count"
"Plus I think he's Korean."
"Really? The name Kim Papadopolis didn't give it away?"
"Yeah, and he kept asking if I wanted any 'glape reaves'."
"A Fistful of Credsticks. A Few Credsticks More."
"If you kill a security guard...you become security guard!"
"What?"
"...Don't listen to Jesus."
"How much stuff?"
"Just one truck."
"Is it a truck full of White Castle, cause we're really good with those!"
"What like an anti missile dwarf missile? Star Dwarfs!"
"I think 'in tact' means the wheels have to be on."
"But we only have like 15 wheels, what if we need more?"
"We could always nail more on somewhere."
"We're Shadowrunners!!!"
"...is it small or big? My fingers do this!"
"When did you have a stutter all of a sudden?"
"We got all these guns, right?"
"...I can hit stuff."
"Listen to Jesus, that's the word of God."
"Yeah, that's right. I hate black tape. I think it might be making a move on the white tape."
"You know, when you tear black tape, it hurts more."
"What if we tie all the triggers together to make kind of a gattling gun. Except it wouldn't turn."
"You see a bunch of guns tied together. You're guessing it's for intimidation. I mean no one would actually try to use that. That's just retarded."
"Alright, boys, escort it."
"Hey big boy, wanna have a good time?"
"Madness? This. is. WEASELBAGGERS!!"
"You're not Admiral Ackbar."
"You're right, that's why we didn't know it's a trap!"
"I have now demonstrated beyond a shadow of a doubt why I am called 'Sparks'."
"You also don't have very much body hair left, on a similar note."
"I'm going to discus throw this tire rim."
"Give me one number between 1 and 6."
"2."
"I would have said 7."
"I go over to the jeep to see if there are any people alive inside."
"There are a couple of people who aren't quite dead yet."
"I hit them with my krikkit bat until they aren't anymore."
"Sparks? Sparks? He must have gone to the bathroom."
"In all fairness, he probably did with all the electrical current that went into him."
"It's like Lord of the Flies...but we're all Piggy!"