(no subject)
I wanted to save this in my journal but for people who don't browse the horse adds it maybe lame so I'll spare you.
HOW TO INTERPRET the horse CLASSIFIED ADS
WEARS BRIDLE WELL: His ears are so freakin big it
won't fall off
NICE EYE: only one of course
GOOD DISPOSITION: when buzzed on Ace
BOMB PROOF: When you are wearing full body armour
GREAT TRAIL HORSE: Yep, when you are alone, leading
him on a 20 foot rope and in the indoor arena
GAME: Range cowboy prospect
KID'S HORSE: Great for the child that
weighs 190 lbs, is 6 feet tall, lifts weights and
wears a hockey helmet.
USED ON HUNTER PACE: Once, then he mowed down the
Hunt Master and is now barred in the lower 48 from
Hunt Clubs
LIGHTLY RACED: Only raced 12 times (in a week)
GOOD WITH FARRIER: And his 10 buddies and their handy
dandy sling/ace/ropes
NICE TO WORK WITH: when out for the count during
clipping (Ace again!)
STALLION PROSPECT: Maimed the vet for life when they
tried to castrate him
last week
THBX: It has long legs, must be THB somewhere in
there!
ALSO DRIVES: when hooked in the middle of an 8 horse
hitch of Belgians
BIG TROT - can't canter within a 2-mile straightaway
NICELY STARTED - lunges, but we don't have >enough
insurance to ride him yet
TOP SHOW HORSE - won a reserve championship 5 years
ago at a show with unusually low entries due to a
hurricane
HOME BRED - knows nothing despite being raised on the
back porch
BOLD - runaway
GOOD MOVER - runaway
ATHLETIC - runaway
NEEDS INTERMEDIATE RIDER - runaway
NEEDS EXPERIENCED RIDER - "dead" runaway
DEAD QUIET - just dead
RECENTLY VETTED - someone else found something badly
wrong with this horse
BIG BONED - good this has mane and tail or >would be
mistaken for a cow
DOING COURSES - when tranquilized to the eyeballs and
lunged six hours straight before
WELL MANNERED - hasn't stepped on, bitten, >or kicked
anyone for a week
PROFESSIONALLY TRAINED - hasn't stepped on, bitten,
or kicked anyone for a month
STARTED O/F - started overfeeding because can't ride
SHOULD MATURE 16 HANDS - currently 13 h, dam is
14.2h, sire is 15 h, every horse in pedigree back 18
generations is under 15 h, but this horse will defy
his DNA and grow
TO GOOD HOME ONLY - not really for sale unless you
can: 1) pay twice what he is worth; 2) allow current
owner to tuck in beddy-bye every night; and 3) are
willing to sign a 20-page legal document
NO VICES - especially when he wears his muzzle
LIGHT CRIBBER - we can't afford to build any more
barns and fences for the buzz saw
NO TIME FOR HIM - he's lucky to be fed
EXCELLENT DISPOSITION - never been out of the stall
CLIPS, HAULS, LOADS - clippity, clippity is the sound
his hooves make when he hauls a** across the parking
lot when you try to load him.
I just find it funny.
HOW TO INTERPRET the horse CLASSIFIED ADS
WEARS BRIDLE WELL: His ears are so freakin big it
won't fall off
NICE EYE: only one of course
GOOD DISPOSITION: when buzzed on Ace
BOMB PROOF: When you are wearing full body armour
GREAT TRAIL HORSE: Yep, when you are alone, leading
him on a 20 foot rope and in the indoor arena
GAME: Range cowboy prospect
KID'S HORSE: Great for the child that
weighs 190 lbs, is 6 feet tall, lifts weights and
wears a hockey helmet.
USED ON HUNTER PACE: Once, then he mowed down the
Hunt Master and is now barred in the lower 48 from
Hunt Clubs
LIGHTLY RACED: Only raced 12 times (in a week)
GOOD WITH FARRIER: And his 10 buddies and their handy
dandy sling/ace/ropes
NICE TO WORK WITH: when out for the count during
clipping (Ace again!)
STALLION PROSPECT: Maimed the vet for life when they
tried to castrate him
last week
THBX: It has long legs, must be THB somewhere in
there!
ALSO DRIVES: when hooked in the middle of an 8 horse
hitch of Belgians
BIG TROT - can't canter within a 2-mile straightaway
NICELY STARTED - lunges, but we don't have >enough
insurance to ride him yet
TOP SHOW HORSE - won a reserve championship 5 years
ago at a show with unusually low entries due to a
hurricane
HOME BRED - knows nothing despite being raised on the
back porch
BOLD - runaway
GOOD MOVER - runaway
ATHLETIC - runaway
NEEDS INTERMEDIATE RIDER - runaway
NEEDS EXPERIENCED RIDER - "dead" runaway
DEAD QUIET - just dead
RECENTLY VETTED - someone else found something badly
wrong with this horse
BIG BONED - good this has mane and tail or >would be
mistaken for a cow
DOING COURSES - when tranquilized to the eyeballs and
lunged six hours straight before
WELL MANNERED - hasn't stepped on, bitten, >or kicked
anyone for a week
PROFESSIONALLY TRAINED - hasn't stepped on, bitten,
or kicked anyone for a month
STARTED O/F - started overfeeding because can't ride
SHOULD MATURE 16 HANDS - currently 13 h, dam is
14.2h, sire is 15 h, every horse in pedigree back 18
generations is under 15 h, but this horse will defy
his DNA and grow
TO GOOD HOME ONLY - not really for sale unless you
can: 1) pay twice what he is worth; 2) allow current
owner to tuck in beddy-bye every night; and 3) are
willing to sign a 20-page legal document
NO VICES - especially when he wears his muzzle
LIGHT CRIBBER - we can't afford to build any more
barns and fences for the buzz saw
NO TIME FOR HIM - he's lucky to be fed
EXCELLENT DISPOSITION - never been out of the stall
CLIPS, HAULS, LOADS - clippity, clippity is the sound
his hooves make when he hauls a** across the parking
lot when you try to load him.
I just find it funny.