I Swear to Drunk I'm not God
This is just killing me right now, seriously. I thought of it, and it got written. Brb still dying.
( In which Henrik is very, very drunk and moves in with Monochrome.)
Warnings: I can't write Mono, but this was fun anyway ='D
It was three AM Cyberpolis time and there had been a curious knock at the front door. Not knowing who it was, Monochrome had opened it a crack and peered out, and then opened the door fully when he saw that it was Henrik standing there with two large boxes piled effortlessly onto his shoulder and a suitcase in his other hand, and raised an eyebrow at him.
"Ah, excellent, you're home." Henrik started before Monochrome could say anything at all. "I thought you might be. I do apologize for the hour, but something has come up. You will never guess who showed up at my doorstep this afternoon-- mind if I come in? These are getting to feel rather heavy--" Henrik pushed past his friend into the room, set down his things, and sneezed. "Hmm, rather dusty in here, don't you think? At least with me staying here, it might see a bit more light and you can use it for something other than a storage facility."
"Henrik, what--"
"Ah, yes, of course! Allow me to explain myself." He cleared his throat. "You see, my ex-boyfriend, Neakail --I'm sure you've heard of him-- except that he wasn't actually my ex..." He paused and grumbled, "... apparently...," and then continued on in a slightly higher and perkier tone than his usual tone of voice, "appeared on my doorstep and threw me out of my own house. Well, not threw precisely, but if I had been stubborn and tried to stay he would have pestered me day in and day out, I'm certain of it, until I moved --it was his place to begin with after all-- and you do know how I hate people on my doorstep, pestering me, at least if I live here with you, you can just look at them and they'll go away."
Monochrome raised an eyebrow. "Henrik... are you... drunk?"
"Of course not!" He responded with an unusual grin. "I've never been so sober in my entire life! And as my father used to say, a sober man is a wise man."
"Henrik... you're drunk."
"Didn't I just tell you that I was completely sober?" He flopped down into the nearest arm chair, sending up a cloud of dust as he did so and swatted it away with one hand, coughing. "Honestly, Monochrome, this dust! With a stare like yours, you'd think even the dust bunnies would be too afraid to settle. Have you got any whiskey?"
"I--"
"Good, I'll take a cup of Earl Grey. Hope it isn't too much trouble for me to be living here, old chap. I stopped by Than's place on my way out, but he wasn't there, and at least I know that you won't complain. Thanatos likely would have complained about my presence day in and day out, he does tend to do that, you know."
"Thanatos...?"
"Ah, I've never been so drunk in my entire life." He smiled and relaxed back into the chair, closing his eyes.
Monochrome stared at him. ".... You just told me that you were completely sober."
"Of course I am." Came the response, and Henrik didn't move a muscle. "But admitting that you're drunk is the first step to convincing other people that you're sober."
"Uh-huh."
"Did I ever tell you about when William and I grew matching mullets in college?"
"Uh..."
"Well, that's about the beginning and the end of it. The only difference was that I got laughed at for weeks on end and he didn't. You really don't mind my staying here? I didn't think you would mind being stuck with me in-game, as you're already stuck with me out."
"No... of course not..."
"Excellent!" He sat forward in his chair again, seeming far too enthusiastic. "So, what shall we make for breakfast? Eggs and bacon?"
"Henrik... it's three in the morning."
"And morning is the perfect time for breakfast, is it not?"
Monochrome did a mental facepalm and deadpanned. "I will just... get you some water...."
( In which Henrik is very, very drunk and moves in with Monochrome.)
Warnings: I can't write Mono, but this was fun anyway ='D
It was three AM Cyberpolis time and there had been a curious knock at the front door. Not knowing who it was, Monochrome had opened it a crack and peered out, and then opened the door fully when he saw that it was Henrik standing there with two large boxes piled effortlessly onto his shoulder and a suitcase in his other hand, and raised an eyebrow at him.
"Ah, excellent, you're home." Henrik started before Monochrome could say anything at all. "I thought you might be. I do apologize for the hour, but something has come up. You will never guess who showed up at my doorstep this afternoon-- mind if I come in? These are getting to feel rather heavy--" Henrik pushed past his friend into the room, set down his things, and sneezed. "Hmm, rather dusty in here, don't you think? At least with me staying here, it might see a bit more light and you can use it for something other than a storage facility."
"Henrik, what--"
"Ah, yes, of course! Allow me to explain myself." He cleared his throat. "You see, my ex-boyfriend, Neakail --I'm sure you've heard of him-- except that he wasn't actually my ex..." He paused and grumbled, "... apparently...," and then continued on in a slightly higher and perkier tone than his usual tone of voice, "appeared on my doorstep and threw me out of my own house. Well, not threw precisely, but if I had been stubborn and tried to stay he would have pestered me day in and day out, I'm certain of it, until I moved --it was his place to begin with after all-- and you do know how I hate people on my doorstep, pestering me, at least if I live here with you, you can just look at them and they'll go away."
Monochrome raised an eyebrow. "Henrik... are you... drunk?"
"Of course not!" He responded with an unusual grin. "I've never been so sober in my entire life! And as my father used to say, a sober man is a wise man."
"Henrik... you're drunk."
"Didn't I just tell you that I was completely sober?" He flopped down into the nearest arm chair, sending up a cloud of dust as he did so and swatted it away with one hand, coughing. "Honestly, Monochrome, this dust! With a stare like yours, you'd think even the dust bunnies would be too afraid to settle. Have you got any whiskey?"
"I--"
"Good, I'll take a cup of Earl Grey. Hope it isn't too much trouble for me to be living here, old chap. I stopped by Than's place on my way out, but he wasn't there, and at least I know that you won't complain. Thanatos likely would have complained about my presence day in and day out, he does tend to do that, you know."
"Thanatos...?"
"Ah, I've never been so drunk in my entire life." He smiled and relaxed back into the chair, closing his eyes.
Monochrome stared at him. ".... You just told me that you were completely sober."
"Of course I am." Came the response, and Henrik didn't move a muscle. "But admitting that you're drunk is the first step to convincing other people that you're sober."
"Uh-huh."
"Did I ever tell you about when William and I grew matching mullets in college?"
"Uh..."
"Well, that's about the beginning and the end of it. The only difference was that I got laughed at for weeks on end and he didn't. You really don't mind my staying here? I didn't think you would mind being stuck with me in-game, as you're already stuck with me out."
"No... of course not..."
"Excellent!" He sat forward in his chair again, seeming far too enthusiastic. "So, what shall we make for breakfast? Eggs and bacon?"
"Henrik... it's three in the morning."
"And morning is the perfect time for breakfast, is it not?"
Monochrome did a mental facepalm and deadpanned. "I will just... get you some water...."