Mirrorworld (Procrastination Favors the Prepared)
Part Six: Aggravations
Because fics started in high-school should be finished before graduate school. A hearty thanks to anyone still reading; enjoy!
Night fell across the landscape, shrouding the adventurers in darkness.
Twenty minutes passed. In those twenty minutes, Johnny Cage wandered away from the group and started rubbing sticks together. He wanted a fire. It worked in the movies, and he was sick of everyone’s bitching.
It had been over an hour and nothing--nothing!--was any different at all. They were still going at it, blah blah, fate of Realms, blah, blah, stupid freaking door, blah. He was going to start screaming, just for the hell of it, if something cool didn’t happen in the next fifty seconds. Ten years of flash-to, cut-to, and lighting quick splice-editing of awesome pyrotechnics to slamming, deafening speed metal soundtracks had done a serious number on his attention span.
Sonya, Rayden and Liu were outlining the best way to get into the evil fortress. Shang Tsung was just as busy arguing with every word. Shao Kahn nodded and glowered a lot, though he wasn’t paying much attention. Sonya started using some choice Army vocabulary. Shang Tsung fired back his opinion of her family--in Chinese. Shao Kahn shrugged his massive shoulders, sat down against the fortress wall, shoved his helmet low across his face, and gradually began to snore.
Kung Lao, tired of whistling--and the threats it caused his companions to make--scooted over next to Johnny. Arguing might be fun. Everybody else was doing it.
“Damn, I’m bored,” Cage sighed, running his hand through his hair. It was a wreck. Assuming he made it home alive, his stylist would probably kill him.
“This is getting us nowhere,” Kung Lao moped. “Let’s just walk up to the door and pound our heads on it. That might do as much good.”
“I wish we had a fire,” said Johnny. “Then we could burn things. A blowtorch! That would be awesome. We could melt the stupid door.” His words grew ever faster, a manic gleam in his eyes. “Or, if we had a grenade launcher, we could blow it up. And then set it on fire with napalm. A rain of burning toxic death! Yeah!”
“Uh,” Kung Lao said, at a loss for better words. “Sure.”
The grand alliance between enemy realms would have lasted longer, if not for the game of keep-away. It started innocently enough. Lao couldn’t help it! He was just so bored. And hungry. And tired of all the bickering.
It was amazingly easy to sneak up on the dread lord of Outworld. Apparently, Kahn could hear nothing over the roar of his own breath as it surged through his nostrils. No wonder Sindel had gone insane. Sharing a bed with him must have been like sleeping next to a sawmill. Only louder.
At least he didn’t drool. That would have fouled Kung Lao’s plan. Kahn’s helmet was already loose; it popped free with one quick tug that sent Kung Lao tumbling backward, conveniently out of the emperor’s reach.
Said emperor snorted and blinked twice, bellowing in pure rage as he lumbered to his feet.
“You will die, mortal!” he thundered.
Kung Lao took off running, a maniacal grin on his face. Sure, he’d be stomped into paste if Kahn actually caught him, but it was better than sitting around. Way better.
“Hey! Johnny! Catch!”
.:. .:. .:.
Purza was one unhappy kitty. This room-this cell that pretended it was a room-would have been cramped even if she were alone, and she wasn’t. That cruel lady and her large hostage had been dumped here, kicking and screaming, by Shadeyn guards about an hour ago. Right now, they were wedged together atop a small table, blocking the room's only window with their backs.
“Like hell,” the man protested, pounding his fist on his knee. “I ain't goin' in there. No way.”
‘There’ was a grate in the center of the stone floor. Noob Saibot kept monsters on all levels of his castle. It was cheaper than dealing with the Shadeyn's upkeep, but it was also messier. Thus, every floor on every level had a similar drain, for ease of cleaning.
“It’s the only way down,” croaked Mileena. “Believe me, I know.”
“How we're and I supposed to fit?” Purza sniffed, drawing startled looks from her new companions. “It’s no bigger than our hand, my most Honored Lady.”
The cat had packed some heavy irony into her title. Mileena’s eyes narrowed.
“It’s wider underneath, idiot. We can smash it in and squeeze down. Or the entire floor will give way, in which case, we’ll arrive at the bottom,” she tilted one shoulder, the most of a shrug she could manage, “well, somewhat sooner.”
Jax snorted. “That’s your whole strategy?”
“You’re one to talk!” Mileena shrieked. “Didn’t you say you were with the mortal navy, or some such thing? All you’ve done is whine about where you will not go, what you will not do, and what you do not think is a good idea.” She ground her teeth; it was like wires fraying. “Quit complaining, start helping, or shut up. Take your pick. Quickly.”
“Army,” said Jax, arms rippling as he crossed them over his chest, “and when you quit being such a bitch, sure, I’ll help you.” He frowned over at Purza. “Who are you?”
“We and I are called Purza,” said the feline maiden, at the same time Mileena announced,
“The help, usually, unless they’ve decided to rebel again.”
Jax ground his palm against his forehead. “One at a time. Slowly.”
“Purza, Honored Sir. We and I do have a name,” she added, sticking her tongue out at Mileena.
“Thanks, Purza.” He didn’t nudge Mileena; there wasn’t room. He couldn’t offer to shake hands without knocking them both off the table. “I’m Major Jackson Briggs. Call me Jax.”
“You and yours can be made into slippers and violin strings, O Most Faithful Servant,” Mileena said. “What are you doing so far from home?”
“We and I are following the Honored Lady Sonya Blade and Honored Sir Johnny Cage,” Purza said, smiling a little as she thought of them.
“Sonya?” Jax sat up straight. “Here? And the movie star’s with her?”
“A number of warriors have come, Honored Sir Jax.” Purza leaned on the wall and lapped at the tip of her tail; she’d hurt it in the fight. “There was a scuffling, and the fire-headed one banished us and mine here with his foul magics.”
“Wait,” said Jax. A dude with fire on his head? He hadn’t seen a fighter like that around, but he hadn’t learned much about Outworld before being dumped here, in a new and weirder locale with the roommate from hell. “How many others were there? Do you know?”
“Besides the two we came to find? The Earth god and his two champions-the descendants of Kung Lao-and the Honorable Shang Tsung, the Honorable Princess Kitana, and the Most Honorable and Esteemed Emperor Shao Kahn.”
Purza gasped for breath at the end. He couldn’t blame her; that was a lot of syllables.
“Wow,” he said.
He was trying to figure out how to step down without shoving Mileena aside. Jax didn’t push women, even women who were serious pains in the ass. Mama had raised him better than that.
Mileena solved the problem for him by springing off the table and almost knocking him over in the process.
“Father’s here?” she squeaked. She’d gone pretty pale for such a daddy’s girl. “That’s it. I’m gone. You can find your own damned way out, Sir Jax of the Earth Navy, since you’re such a clever paragon of virtue and strategic thinking.”
Mileena disappeared so fast that the air rushed in to fill the space where she’d sat.
“Army,” Jax said to the wall. “Good luck and good riddance.”
"No good food after bad," said Purza softly, releasing her claws. "We and I do believe it would be best if we got started, Honored Sir Jax."
I can't make it to my meeting anyways so I figured, what the hell? ^_~
OMG this is as close to genfic as I ever get. GASP.