[fic] Sky - 1/1
This is for izon_no_niwa - she requested it and it's her birthday. Happy birthday! Hope you like this~ ♥
Title: Sky
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Ni~ya x Sakito
Comments: AU, based on the song and video for Sky by Loveholic. It's a little bit sad, but not quite like the video. X3
Sunday Morning. I lay curled on the floor of my room, wide-eyed in a pool of dried tears and desperate prayers. Last night should have been Niya’s last, and mine as well, judging from the bottle of nameless medication clutched loosely in my hand, but God had other ideas for us, apparently. It was only another hour before the hospital opened to visitors, I knew I should get up and dress myself before leaving, but…
Instead I kept my childlike pose for a little longer while the sun rose above the sill of the eastern window, flashing briefly in the mirror, and let the memories comfort me, talk me down from oblivion into something akin to hope.
*** * * *
Angry shouts caught Sakito’s attention from the shop window he was looking through, but he couldn’t see where exactly the commotion was coming from. His head was turned in the opposite direction, and thus felt rather than saw the body bowl into him, eliciting a surprised shout from both of them. Before he could work out what was happening, Sakito found himself grabbed roughly by the arm and dragged around the corner of the building.
He couldn’t help but assume he was about to mugged or worse given the time of night and the neighborhood. If only he had heeded his mother’s warnings about shopping in this part of town, Sakito thought in distress, wondering if screaming would help or if he was doomed. Heart racing, he forced his eyes to open again, shaking knees supported by the wall behind and the stranger holding him captive. He opened his mouth to yell for help, only to be silenced by a broad hand clapped quickly over his mouth.
“Shut up,” hissed the man, who he could now see was only a little taller than him, with dark eyes and bleach-platinum hair. Sakito would have continued to struggle, had he not seen a hint of fear flash across his captor’s eyes as the man leaned sideways to peer around the corner.
A flurry of pounding feet passed barely a yard from them, Sakito counted at least four different gaits among them. Only then, after they had passed, did the stranger relax and loosed his hold. “You’re not going to scream if I let go, are you?”
At the shake of his head, Sakito was allowed his personal space, though the man stayed close, watching him with mild amusement while he caught his breath and steadied himself. “What the hell…are you doing?” Sakito was practically hyperventilating, angry and confused. He was almost tempted to kick the man.
“There were some guys chasing me and you got in the way. Couldn’t risk having you tell them where I was hiding, now could I?” he replied with a shrug, adding quickly, “Sorry about that….”
Sakito blinked, unsure of how to reply. It seemed so simple and harmless when put like that. But no, there had definitely been something more that wasn’t being mentioned now. Otherwise, why had the other man looked so frightened? “…That’s no excuse for being rough,” Sakito answered petulantly after a few seconds’ thought, unable to come up with a good response.
The blond laughed and started to turn away. “You’re cute. How about I owe you one later?” Before Sakito could protest, he was gone, melted into the crowd.
*** * * *
Moving, thinking, even breathing seemed to be painfully slow. But I managed to haul myself off the floor, painstakingly changing into the first t-shirt and pair of jeans that came to my hand. The fabric was cold against my skin and remained so with the comparatively little body heat I could put out alone, separated from him. Was it worth going? I don’t know. They said over the phone Niya was unlikely to wake up within the next week, if ever.
I picked up my car keys, though I knew I shouldn’t be driving in this state. Mom was still asleep, oblivious as always. Outside, I looked at the sky, pausing on the porch before going to the car. The fact that I had no resolve, yet was still compelled to find Niya at the hospital must have spoken volumes about the connection between us.
*** * * *
Three weeks ago, if Sakito had been told he’d be flying down the highway on the back of a motorcycle, clinging for dear life to the almost dangerously gleeful driver, and liking it , he’d have laughed at the very idea. Yet, that’s precisely what he was doing, his new friend’s platinum hair whipping in his face. He felt as if he were riding on the wing of a jet plane, precarious and dangerous, but thrilling all the same. And that’s also exactly how he felt about Niya when they spent time together.
The sudden directional change in their trip caused Sakito’s stomach to flip, the bike having veered off through a gap in the highway barrier and onto a dirt path. Thankfully, their breakneck pace had slowed a bit, though not quite enough for the uneven landscape.
“Niya, are you sure this is a good idea?!” Sakito’s question ended in a terrified squeak as they plummeted down a nearly vertical slope without warning, finally rolling to a shaky stop on the gravelly shore of a lake, hidden from view of the main road. Immediately, Sakito climbed off the back seat, wobbling over to a fallen log to sit until the horizon stopped tilting. Niya had a mixed look of amusement and concern, as if he was conflicted over the result of his own daring.
“That wasn’t funny,” Sakito told him, frowning up at the other in disapproval. “We could’ve been killed.”
“Yeah, but we weren’t, right?” Niya came to sit next to him, leaning forward on his knees. “You have to admit, it was kind of exciting.”
“Says you,” Sakito groaned, holding his rattled brains. “You were planning that all day, weren’t you?”
A smile twitched at the corners of Niya’s mouth. “Maybe, but that wasn’t the real reason I dragged you out today.”
“…?” Questioning eyes raised to meet Niya’s, intrigued by the secretive tone of his voice. He nodded pointedly toward the lake, expecting Sakito to look.
“That.”
The world righted itself in a burst of glory, sun perfectly framed in the depression between two hills on the opposite shore. Sakito gaze in awe, the transient orange beams reflecting in the water and his eyes.
“I thought it would be the perfect time to say I love you,” Niya added quietly, watching Sakito rather than the display. “In case you wanted to know….”
*** * * *
Being Sunday, there was little traffic that early in the morning, not that it mattered to me. I drove like an automaton, barely glancing in the mirrors or at the few other cars on the highway. Distance slowly ground away under the tires of my car, bringing me closer to him, or what was left of him, my brain decided in a fit of mordant imagination.
Physically shaking my head to clear it of such gruesome thoughts, I glanced in the center mirror, noting the despondent mess of my hair hanging down obscuring part of my vision. It didn’t matter, there was no one on the road to hit if I bothered to care. Nothing by empty sky and empty pavement and empty heart.
*** * * *
“Where are you going?” Sakito murmured in his half conscious state, drawing the blankets back over his bare chest where they had slipped down. Niya knelt briefly on the edge of the mattress while he buttoned his pants to kiss his lover’s tousled head.
“I just have to take care of something. I’ll be back soon,” he whispered back, not wanting to fully wake the sleeping Sakito. He made a small noise to indicate his displeasure with Niya’s errand, but otherwise didn’t protest.
By noon, Sakito had woken hungry and disoriented in Niya’s apartment, wondering where the other man had disappeared to. Dressing, he brushed his teeth and rooted through the cupboard for lunch, settling on instant soup while he waited in apathy for another hour. The nearly inaudible click of the door closing was all that alerted him to Niya’s soundless return, face bruised and bloodied inexplicably. Shocked at his appearance, Sakito sprang from his place on the couch and flew into Niya’s arms, holding tightly to his neck despite the grunt of pain he got in return.
“Wh-what happened to you?” he stammered, extracting himself to lead Niya to a kitchen chair, forcing him to sit and be examined.
“ ’S nothing,” Niya slurred through swollen lips. He had apparently tried to clean himself up, but hadn’t done a very good job. There was still a faint stain of dried blood on his chin and upper lip. “Just a minor fight.”
“This doesn’t look minor…” Sakito gently dabbed his face with a warm, wet towel, trying to keep the tremor out of his hand. “Please tell me.”
Shrugging weakly, he appeared for a moment to be weighing the merits of talking and keeping silent. “…I owe someone money from a while ago,” he finally answered in a cryptic fashion. Sakito turned to get some ice from the freezer, placing a handful in a bag to press against the nasty black eye spreading even across the bridge of his nose and down his cheek.
“And…?”
“Well…I didn’t have it at the time-“
Sakito stopped his ministrations to interrupt, “What do you mean?”
“If you’ll let me finish…” Niya replied irritably, batting away the hand holding the ice. “He wants it by tonight. I just…have to get it from the bank…okay? Don’t worry about it.”
Hiding the hurt on his face by turning away, Sakito busied himself temporarily with pretending to get more ice. “Okay…”
*** * * *
That was yesterday. When I’d left in a huff after Niya started ignoring me, when I’d told him to call me when he felt like sharing his life again. How naïve and selfish I had been. The call from the police came late that night, my number was the last called on his cell phone. Ignorance and childish anger had pushed me to ignore his last call, though now I know he must have wanted to tell me he loved me before he died.
The very thought made me sick to my stomach all over again and the car difficult to control, but at least I had already arrived at the hospital parking lot. Walking through those sterile glass doors placed the first grain of true, real fear into me. My feet were anxious to continue while I waited impatiently for the attendant to find the correct room and give me a visitor badge. She kept stealing concerned glances in my direction; I must have looked completely unbalanced after a suicidal sleepless night.
What felt like hours to get to Niya’s room must have been mere minutes, but the anticipation was excruciating. They told me unsympathetically not to get my hopes up over the phone, but there was still no way of preparing or knowing exactly what to expect, even after he’d been in surgery all night. There were details about it I had no capacity to remember.
I crept into the room hesitantly, ready to bolt or break down, whatever my body decided was appropriate. Stretched out on the hospital bed was a patched together version of the man I loved, clinging to a thread of life monitored by wires and incomprehensible numbers on blinking screens. Neither flight nor insanity gripped me as I sat gingerly on the bed next to him, only a sort of sorrowful serenity in the warm tears spilling over my cheeks. After a moment, I found a small place on his face that wasn’t damaged to touch gently with my fingertips, fighting back the sobs that threatened to disturb the still room. “Niya…”
His skin twitched at my touch, and Niya tried to move his head toward the sound. “Saki?” his voice was hoarse, barely above a whisper.
“You’re awake?” I breathed, hardly daring to believe it could be true. A quick shift in position and I was kneeling awkwardly beside the bed, our faces close together. “Don’t move, it’ll hurt too much.”
He grimaced, discovering that on his own. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. Please don’t try to talk….” I kept my hand in the same spot, relishing even this little bit of contact.
Niya stubbornly ignored my plea. “Good… They were…after you….” Finally, it dawned on me from his delirious words what had happened. There was no money to offer - Niya had gone willingly instead to keep these people from hurting me in retribution and to motivate him.
“Oh god…” The words came out choked before I could stop myself. “Why didn’t you tell me? I could have helped you.”
“ ’M sorry.”
His apology just about broke my heart. Heedless of the wounds, I leaned forward the last couple of inches and pressed a kiss to his split lips, tasting bitter salt and iron. “Don’t be. The important thing is that you’re alive. And I love you so much….”
There was no reason for Niya to reply, his actions had already spoken for him, but he managed anyway before drifting back into unconsciousness, “Love you too….”
The world is completely and only you.
You’ve become more normal to be than breathing.
When I look at the sky, when I just look at the sky…
Title: Sky
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Ni~ya x Sakito
Comments: AU, based on the song and video for Sky by Loveholic. It's a little bit sad, but not quite like the video. X3
Sunday Morning. I lay curled on the floor of my room, wide-eyed in a pool of dried tears and desperate prayers. Last night should have been Niya’s last, and mine as well, judging from the bottle of nameless medication clutched loosely in my hand, but God had other ideas for us, apparently. It was only another hour before the hospital opened to visitors, I knew I should get up and dress myself before leaving, but…
Instead I kept my childlike pose for a little longer while the sun rose above the sill of the eastern window, flashing briefly in the mirror, and let the memories comfort me, talk me down from oblivion into something akin to hope.
*** * * *
Angry shouts caught Sakito’s attention from the shop window he was looking through, but he couldn’t see where exactly the commotion was coming from. His head was turned in the opposite direction, and thus felt rather than saw the body bowl into him, eliciting a surprised shout from both of them. Before he could work out what was happening, Sakito found himself grabbed roughly by the arm and dragged around the corner of the building.
He couldn’t help but assume he was about to mugged or worse given the time of night and the neighborhood. If only he had heeded his mother’s warnings about shopping in this part of town, Sakito thought in distress, wondering if screaming would help or if he was doomed. Heart racing, he forced his eyes to open again, shaking knees supported by the wall behind and the stranger holding him captive. He opened his mouth to yell for help, only to be silenced by a broad hand clapped quickly over his mouth.
“Shut up,” hissed the man, who he could now see was only a little taller than him, with dark eyes and bleach-platinum hair. Sakito would have continued to struggle, had he not seen a hint of fear flash across his captor’s eyes as the man leaned sideways to peer around the corner.
A flurry of pounding feet passed barely a yard from them, Sakito counted at least four different gaits among them. Only then, after they had passed, did the stranger relax and loosed his hold. “You’re not going to scream if I let go, are you?”
At the shake of his head, Sakito was allowed his personal space, though the man stayed close, watching him with mild amusement while he caught his breath and steadied himself. “What the hell…are you doing?” Sakito was practically hyperventilating, angry and confused. He was almost tempted to kick the man.
“There were some guys chasing me and you got in the way. Couldn’t risk having you tell them where I was hiding, now could I?” he replied with a shrug, adding quickly, “Sorry about that….”
Sakito blinked, unsure of how to reply. It seemed so simple and harmless when put like that. But no, there had definitely been something more that wasn’t being mentioned now. Otherwise, why had the other man looked so frightened? “…That’s no excuse for being rough,” Sakito answered petulantly after a few seconds’ thought, unable to come up with a good response.
The blond laughed and started to turn away. “You’re cute. How about I owe you one later?” Before Sakito could protest, he was gone, melted into the crowd.
*** * * *
Moving, thinking, even breathing seemed to be painfully slow. But I managed to haul myself off the floor, painstakingly changing into the first t-shirt and pair of jeans that came to my hand. The fabric was cold against my skin and remained so with the comparatively little body heat I could put out alone, separated from him. Was it worth going? I don’t know. They said over the phone Niya was unlikely to wake up within the next week, if ever.
I picked up my car keys, though I knew I shouldn’t be driving in this state. Mom was still asleep, oblivious as always. Outside, I looked at the sky, pausing on the porch before going to the car. The fact that I had no resolve, yet was still compelled to find Niya at the hospital must have spoken volumes about the connection between us.
*** * * *
Three weeks ago, if Sakito had been told he’d be flying down the highway on the back of a motorcycle, clinging for dear life to the almost dangerously gleeful driver, and liking it , he’d have laughed at the very idea. Yet, that’s precisely what he was doing, his new friend’s platinum hair whipping in his face. He felt as if he were riding on the wing of a jet plane, precarious and dangerous, but thrilling all the same. And that’s also exactly how he felt about Niya when they spent time together.
The sudden directional change in their trip caused Sakito’s stomach to flip, the bike having veered off through a gap in the highway barrier and onto a dirt path. Thankfully, their breakneck pace had slowed a bit, though not quite enough for the uneven landscape.
“Niya, are you sure this is a good idea?!” Sakito’s question ended in a terrified squeak as they plummeted down a nearly vertical slope without warning, finally rolling to a shaky stop on the gravelly shore of a lake, hidden from view of the main road. Immediately, Sakito climbed off the back seat, wobbling over to a fallen log to sit until the horizon stopped tilting. Niya had a mixed look of amusement and concern, as if he was conflicted over the result of his own daring.
“That wasn’t funny,” Sakito told him, frowning up at the other in disapproval. “We could’ve been killed.”
“Yeah, but we weren’t, right?” Niya came to sit next to him, leaning forward on his knees. “You have to admit, it was kind of exciting.”
“Says you,” Sakito groaned, holding his rattled brains. “You were planning that all day, weren’t you?”
A smile twitched at the corners of Niya’s mouth. “Maybe, but that wasn’t the real reason I dragged you out today.”
“…?” Questioning eyes raised to meet Niya’s, intrigued by the secretive tone of his voice. He nodded pointedly toward the lake, expecting Sakito to look.
“That.”
The world righted itself in a burst of glory, sun perfectly framed in the depression between two hills on the opposite shore. Sakito gaze in awe, the transient orange beams reflecting in the water and his eyes.
“I thought it would be the perfect time to say I love you,” Niya added quietly, watching Sakito rather than the display. “In case you wanted to know….”
*** * * *
Being Sunday, there was little traffic that early in the morning, not that it mattered to me. I drove like an automaton, barely glancing in the mirrors or at the few other cars on the highway. Distance slowly ground away under the tires of my car, bringing me closer to him, or what was left of him, my brain decided in a fit of mordant imagination.
Physically shaking my head to clear it of such gruesome thoughts, I glanced in the center mirror, noting the despondent mess of my hair hanging down obscuring part of my vision. It didn’t matter, there was no one on the road to hit if I bothered to care. Nothing by empty sky and empty pavement and empty heart.
*** * * *
“Where are you going?” Sakito murmured in his half conscious state, drawing the blankets back over his bare chest where they had slipped down. Niya knelt briefly on the edge of the mattress while he buttoned his pants to kiss his lover’s tousled head.
“I just have to take care of something. I’ll be back soon,” he whispered back, not wanting to fully wake the sleeping Sakito. He made a small noise to indicate his displeasure with Niya’s errand, but otherwise didn’t protest.
By noon, Sakito had woken hungry and disoriented in Niya’s apartment, wondering where the other man had disappeared to. Dressing, he brushed his teeth and rooted through the cupboard for lunch, settling on instant soup while he waited in apathy for another hour. The nearly inaudible click of the door closing was all that alerted him to Niya’s soundless return, face bruised and bloodied inexplicably. Shocked at his appearance, Sakito sprang from his place on the couch and flew into Niya’s arms, holding tightly to his neck despite the grunt of pain he got in return.
“Wh-what happened to you?” he stammered, extracting himself to lead Niya to a kitchen chair, forcing him to sit and be examined.
“ ’S nothing,” Niya slurred through swollen lips. He had apparently tried to clean himself up, but hadn’t done a very good job. There was still a faint stain of dried blood on his chin and upper lip. “Just a minor fight.”
“This doesn’t look minor…” Sakito gently dabbed his face with a warm, wet towel, trying to keep the tremor out of his hand. “Please tell me.”
Shrugging weakly, he appeared for a moment to be weighing the merits of talking and keeping silent. “…I owe someone money from a while ago,” he finally answered in a cryptic fashion. Sakito turned to get some ice from the freezer, placing a handful in a bag to press against the nasty black eye spreading even across the bridge of his nose and down his cheek.
“And…?”
“Well…I didn’t have it at the time-“
Sakito stopped his ministrations to interrupt, “What do you mean?”
“If you’ll let me finish…” Niya replied irritably, batting away the hand holding the ice. “He wants it by tonight. I just…have to get it from the bank…okay? Don’t worry about it.”
Hiding the hurt on his face by turning away, Sakito busied himself temporarily with pretending to get more ice. “Okay…”
*** * * *
That was yesterday. When I’d left in a huff after Niya started ignoring me, when I’d told him to call me when he felt like sharing his life again. How naïve and selfish I had been. The call from the police came late that night, my number was the last called on his cell phone. Ignorance and childish anger had pushed me to ignore his last call, though now I know he must have wanted to tell me he loved me before he died.
The very thought made me sick to my stomach all over again and the car difficult to control, but at least I had already arrived at the hospital parking lot. Walking through those sterile glass doors placed the first grain of true, real fear into me. My feet were anxious to continue while I waited impatiently for the attendant to find the correct room and give me a visitor badge. She kept stealing concerned glances in my direction; I must have looked completely unbalanced after a suicidal sleepless night.
What felt like hours to get to Niya’s room must have been mere minutes, but the anticipation was excruciating. They told me unsympathetically not to get my hopes up over the phone, but there was still no way of preparing or knowing exactly what to expect, even after he’d been in surgery all night. There were details about it I had no capacity to remember.
I crept into the room hesitantly, ready to bolt or break down, whatever my body decided was appropriate. Stretched out on the hospital bed was a patched together version of the man I loved, clinging to a thread of life monitored by wires and incomprehensible numbers on blinking screens. Neither flight nor insanity gripped me as I sat gingerly on the bed next to him, only a sort of sorrowful serenity in the warm tears spilling over my cheeks. After a moment, I found a small place on his face that wasn’t damaged to touch gently with my fingertips, fighting back the sobs that threatened to disturb the still room. “Niya…”
His skin twitched at my touch, and Niya tried to move his head toward the sound. “Saki?” his voice was hoarse, barely above a whisper.
“You’re awake?” I breathed, hardly daring to believe it could be true. A quick shift in position and I was kneeling awkwardly beside the bed, our faces close together. “Don’t move, it’ll hurt too much.”
He grimaced, discovering that on his own. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. Please don’t try to talk….” I kept my hand in the same spot, relishing even this little bit of contact.
Niya stubbornly ignored my plea. “Good… They were…after you….” Finally, it dawned on me from his delirious words what had happened. There was no money to offer - Niya had gone willingly instead to keep these people from hurting me in retribution and to motivate him.
“Oh god…” The words came out choked before I could stop myself. “Why didn’t you tell me? I could have helped you.”
“ ’M sorry.”
His apology just about broke my heart. Heedless of the wounds, I leaned forward the last couple of inches and pressed a kiss to his split lips, tasting bitter salt and iron. “Don’t be. The important thing is that you’re alive. And I love you so much….”
There was no reason for Niya to reply, his actions had already spoken for him, but he managed anyway before drifting back into unconsciousness, “Love you too….”
The world is completely and only you.
You’ve become more normal to be than breathing.
When I look at the sky, when I just look at the sky…