OLD POETRY
My Poetry
Lightning
lightning streaked the sky
like ancient lines on black parchment
it wrinkled and tore through my mind
dancing then retreating
leaving white spots behind
for me to blink away
slowly
and much like those beautiful flashes of light
so brief and lingering in the night
licking up the rain like a snake's tongue
or the cracking of whips
I threw back my hood and ran toward the heavenly
fires
with the taste of salt and water on my lips
I took my chance with the storm
and I spread my arms in greeting
challenging it to snuff out my life
as I spun around
spun around that maddening feeling
which kept stealing into my bones
i felt the grass under my slick feet
and felt each rain drop hit
my body
I cried out 'come and take me
if you dare'
as the rain slicked back and
dampened my hair
but the storm did not answer
the storm did not care.
URL Not Found
tap. tap. tap.
nobody's home
tap. tap. tap.
leave a message at:
WHY DO I STILL HEAR VOICES?
failure is not an option
there has been a communications break down
static. i repeat. static.
in the phone
too much static
in the home
nobody's home
nobody's home
you have
one
new voice message
to delete
press
WHY DO I STILL HEAR VOICES?
error#624: reboot y/n?
tragic beauty
I like the tragic beauty of life
what's the point of the hero's journey
without the strife
the battle with my sin
my stubborness to win
over the crowds
that will cheer
cheer cheer
me on
and oh the feeling that gives me
better then anything else
better then god
or you
to stand on a tall cliff
admire the view
and raise my arms
the sacrifice
the woman that knew all pain
who lost it all
for humanity's gain
and with that knowledge
i'd leap
leap leap!
so far and high
that they'd think i'd gone
and touched the sky
then tumble down
down down down
miserable beauty
that you can't touch
a sacred vessal
that knew too much
Blind Faith
did you think it was in someway simpler
that I knew better then to let the
sun daze my mind
can you see the maze stretched out and winding
through the orbs reflecting green
avoiding your search
afraid what it'd mean
dare I say it
dare I even whisper it
that the ship has set sail
that it was gone centuries ago
while we were all asleep
the battle was lost in a heavy sweep
and the people we see around us now
can never tell
the truth behind the world
and hell
Nostalgia
sights and scents open doors to the past
in a blinking second
fiction and reality collide
and slide through your subconscious
slipping along without hold
but this page is the same
no matter how you fold
back its corners and blot out its printed
black letters
spelling out unintelligable collections of -
what's that
a feeling
deep and dark
sending a sharp reaction in your chest
no.
lower.
you find your pace going slower
a screeching effort to reclaim something
half-formed
half-dreamed
perhaps not even there
The Waiting Game
what is the world to do with a woman
so bent on waiting
waiting
wait
stop
always pushing at my bones
keeping at my ears
with your honey bee drones
that i can't drown out
find him find him find him
you chant
like wham
I can rabbit trick him out of
thin air
and my mind starts deceiving
maybe he's here
here
no there
just out of sight somewhere
until my eyes sting from the strain
why make me feel this way
constant obsessive love songs
and diaries
praising the push and pull
euphoria and pain
the freedom and restrain
of simplistic conditioning
clinging mutual dependance
like sticky tack kisses
trying to attach your force
onto someone else's psyche
before the moment misses
breakdown
start up again
struck out
but next time no doubt you'll win
sweet brain
don't give me a flaw
that will drain
any self-dignify i have left
pry these groping fingers
from my body
let me abandon this empty search
for temporary bliss
my life is no paper novel
and i didn't sign up for this
The Balance
the man was walking down the sidewalk-
a swaying structure of shuddering flesh
with a cone of ice cream clasped in his hand -
words were dropping and dripping out his mouth
punctuated by complaints heaved up high at the heavens
as his steps staggered sideways to crush the
tiny ants creeping along with him
Eve
is it a 'woman thing'
to want always what's forbidden to me
to yearn for, stretch, and feel the sinful
impulses that cry murder in my body
so wrong
so right
and i want this so bad
my mind is bleeding
from the hungering sight
the poisoning apple
that tempts my delight
and what do i want with these
children, anyway
crying for leather and whip
selfishly wailing for a tit
to put up with them
is it really much of a surprise
that i'd want him
when faced with methods like these
Fitting Fate
we met last night
while I was curled away in bed
sleeping with the memories
still worming in my head
it wasn't how I had imagined
my prince
your white horse had died along
the way
and your mouth was crooked
like a pimped out stray
scat cat!
no, stay.
why do you smile like that, anyway
with a cigarette hanging between
your fingers
like a thought never formed
and when you grabbed my wrist
how the night time stormed around my ears
a deafening roar of dismays
and relief
"at last!" it whispered
while tragedy sprang its deadly
trap
"I've seen your secrets. I've tasted them.
They are mine now," You boasted.
caressing my scars
Not wholly evil, but very far from entirely good
they said
a fitting fate
from where I stood.
Such A Big World
such a big big big world
such a small place
so many problems that
we all have to face
that
we all have to face
Amish
it's a crawling feeling
like a sudden leap from an airplane
it eats you up inside until you hurt
then it explodes
and you expand
expand at the seams
a whole world now stands before you
of inflatable strangers
with our sausage balloon fingers
we prick at the fabrics keeping
our souls contained so compactly
we try to forget the source to our aches
the incurable itch that drives
us forward to keep our minds
busy but keeps us standing still
our expressions lose their meaning
we become amish
faceless images on a bare white canvas
sightless
voiceless
with only the clothes on our backs
to give any clues as to who
we really are
Michelangelo
in a century's time i'll be dust
and your soul will no doubt be preserved
in the unfailing blue-eyed grace
of your all-loving god
and i wonder if he'll appear before you
like Michelangelo’s ceiling
a towering specimen of masculinity
with lowly female cherubs
prostrate and kneeling
in awed reverence befitting their place
emptied-eyed and silent befitting their face
Lord curse the womb
the den of Adam's sinful seed
that was only spilled on account of
women's wicked need
Our seducing breathe and quick fingers
much be held back
for the sake of the goodness we women kind
all lack
keep silent and grave
you unruly slave
however shall you obtain heaven's reward
but by my good temper?
now bind back your hair behind those flashing eyes
and remember my command
Fidelis Semper
Fidelis Semper
Special Meaning
Popping valiums and smoking weed
"what else is there to do in Tennesse?"
Fuck. Shit.
I glance out my car window
at the trees and the grass
the mail boxes
and the rusty cars
I think about my own emptiness
and how I want more then just that
then just this
and yet....
sand castles
it was in that moment when our eyes connected
and your words found their mark that i realized
how little space i had to move in your room
it then made me wonder how long had i been picking up
the crumbs of our fallen friendship, anyway
trying to get a taste of what it used to be like
maybe we both knew i was playing the pawn
falling prey to open strategies i was too blind to see
because i needed this somehow
i needed that hand that only rises up in bitterness now
to hold onto in the hopes that when all is said and done
and the tide has swept through
i'll have just one little sand castle that never went away
but you're dissolving as i speak
invisable
it's like i'm invisable when i enter the room.
there are no glances.
no pauses to say hello.
just silence that stretches
past my feet and through the back door
i've half a mind to retreat to.
and i get this desire that catches
in my throat and stays there.
(before i swallow it down)
to scream out how
this silence is killing us
faster then the cancer of another cigarrette
i filter through my lungs.
just as black and deadly to me
as your blantant refusal to meet my eyes.
Lightning
lightning streaked the sky
like ancient lines on black parchment
it wrinkled and tore through my mind
dancing then retreating
leaving white spots behind
for me to blink away
slowly
and much like those beautiful flashes of light
so brief and lingering in the night
licking up the rain like a snake's tongue
or the cracking of whips
I threw back my hood and ran toward the heavenly
fires
with the taste of salt and water on my lips
I took my chance with the storm
and I spread my arms in greeting
challenging it to snuff out my life
as I spun around
spun around that maddening feeling
which kept stealing into my bones
i felt the grass under my slick feet
and felt each rain drop hit
my body
I cried out 'come and take me
if you dare'
as the rain slicked back and
dampened my hair
but the storm did not answer
the storm did not care.
URL Not Found
tap. tap. tap.
nobody's home
tap. tap. tap.
leave a message at:
WHY DO I STILL HEAR VOICES?
failure is not an option
there has been a communications break down
static. i repeat. static.
in the phone
too much static
in the home
nobody's home
nobody's home
you have
one
new voice message
to delete
press
WHY DO I STILL HEAR VOICES?
error#624: reboot y/n?
tragic beauty
I like the tragic beauty of life
what's the point of the hero's journey
without the strife
the battle with my sin
my stubborness to win
over the crowds
that will cheer
cheer cheer
me on
and oh the feeling that gives me
better then anything else
better then god
or you
to stand on a tall cliff
admire the view
and raise my arms
the sacrifice
the woman that knew all pain
who lost it all
for humanity's gain
and with that knowledge
i'd leap
leap leap!
so far and high
that they'd think i'd gone
and touched the sky
then tumble down
down down down
miserable beauty
that you can't touch
a sacred vessal
that knew too much
Blind Faith
did you think it was in someway simpler
that I knew better then to let the
sun daze my mind
can you see the maze stretched out and winding
through the orbs reflecting green
avoiding your search
afraid what it'd mean
dare I say it
dare I even whisper it
that the ship has set sail
that it was gone centuries ago
while we were all asleep
the battle was lost in a heavy sweep
and the people we see around us now
can never tell
the truth behind the world
and hell
Nostalgia
sights and scents open doors to the past
in a blinking second
fiction and reality collide
and slide through your subconscious
slipping along without hold
but this page is the same
no matter how you fold
back its corners and blot out its printed
black letters
spelling out unintelligable collections of -
what's that
a feeling
deep and dark
sending a sharp reaction in your chest
no.
lower.
you find your pace going slower
a screeching effort to reclaim something
half-formed
half-dreamed
perhaps not even there
The Waiting Game
what is the world to do with a woman
so bent on waiting
waiting
wait
stop
always pushing at my bones
keeping at my ears
with your honey bee drones
that i can't drown out
find him find him find him
you chant
like wham
I can rabbit trick him out of
thin air
and my mind starts deceiving
maybe he's here
here
no there
just out of sight somewhere
until my eyes sting from the strain
why make me feel this way
constant obsessive love songs
and diaries
praising the push and pull
euphoria and pain
the freedom and restrain
of simplistic conditioning
clinging mutual dependance
like sticky tack kisses
trying to attach your force
onto someone else's psyche
before the moment misses
breakdown
start up again
struck out
but next time no doubt you'll win
sweet brain
don't give me a flaw
that will drain
any self-dignify i have left
pry these groping fingers
from my body
let me abandon this empty search
for temporary bliss
my life is no paper novel
and i didn't sign up for this
The Balance
the man was walking down the sidewalk-
a swaying structure of shuddering flesh
with a cone of ice cream clasped in his hand -
words were dropping and dripping out his mouth
punctuated by complaints heaved up high at the heavens
as his steps staggered sideways to crush the
tiny ants creeping along with him
Eve
is it a 'woman thing'
to want always what's forbidden to me
to yearn for, stretch, and feel the sinful
impulses that cry murder in my body
so wrong
so right
and i want this so bad
my mind is bleeding
from the hungering sight
the poisoning apple
that tempts my delight
and what do i want with these
children, anyway
crying for leather and whip
selfishly wailing for a tit
to put up with them
is it really much of a surprise
that i'd want him
when faced with methods like these
Fitting Fate
we met last night
while I was curled away in bed
sleeping with the memories
still worming in my head
it wasn't how I had imagined
my prince
your white horse had died along
the way
and your mouth was crooked
like a pimped out stray
scat cat!
no, stay.
why do you smile like that, anyway
with a cigarette hanging between
your fingers
like a thought never formed
and when you grabbed my wrist
how the night time stormed around my ears
a deafening roar of dismays
and relief
"at last!" it whispered
while tragedy sprang its deadly
trap
"I've seen your secrets. I've tasted them.
They are mine now," You boasted.
caressing my scars
Not wholly evil, but very far from entirely good
they said
a fitting fate
from where I stood.
Such A Big World
such a big big big world
such a small place
so many problems that
we all have to face
that
we all have to face
Amish
it's a crawling feeling
like a sudden leap from an airplane
it eats you up inside until you hurt
then it explodes
and you expand
expand at the seams
a whole world now stands before you
of inflatable strangers
with our sausage balloon fingers
we prick at the fabrics keeping
our souls contained so compactly
we try to forget the source to our aches
the incurable itch that drives
us forward to keep our minds
busy but keeps us standing still
our expressions lose their meaning
we become amish
faceless images on a bare white canvas
sightless
voiceless
with only the clothes on our backs
to give any clues as to who
we really are
Michelangelo
in a century's time i'll be dust
and your soul will no doubt be preserved
in the unfailing blue-eyed grace
of your all-loving god
and i wonder if he'll appear before you
like Michelangelo’s ceiling
a towering specimen of masculinity
with lowly female cherubs
prostrate and kneeling
in awed reverence befitting their place
emptied-eyed and silent befitting their face
Lord curse the womb
the den of Adam's sinful seed
that was only spilled on account of
women's wicked need
Our seducing breathe and quick fingers
much be held back
for the sake of the goodness we women kind
all lack
keep silent and grave
you unruly slave
however shall you obtain heaven's reward
but by my good temper?
now bind back your hair behind those flashing eyes
and remember my command
Fidelis Semper
Fidelis Semper
Special Meaning
Popping valiums and smoking weed
"what else is there to do in Tennesse?"
Fuck. Shit.
I glance out my car window
at the trees and the grass
the mail boxes
and the rusty cars
I think about my own emptiness
and how I want more then just that
then just this
and yet....
sand castles
it was in that moment when our eyes connected
and your words found their mark that i realized
how little space i had to move in your room
it then made me wonder how long had i been picking up
the crumbs of our fallen friendship, anyway
trying to get a taste of what it used to be like
maybe we both knew i was playing the pawn
falling prey to open strategies i was too blind to see
because i needed this somehow
i needed that hand that only rises up in bitterness now
to hold onto in the hopes that when all is said and done
and the tide has swept through
i'll have just one little sand castle that never went away
but you're dissolving as i speak
invisable
it's like i'm invisable when i enter the room.
there are no glances.
no pauses to say hello.
just silence that stretches
past my feet and through the back door
i've half a mind to retreat to.
and i get this desire that catches
in my throat and stays there.
(before i swallow it down)
to scream out how
this silence is killing us
faster then the cancer of another cigarrette
i filter through my lungs.
just as black and deadly to me
as your blantant refusal to meet my eyes.