His Best Intentions chapter 9
Jared stood in front of his wardrobe wondering what would be appropriate for him to take. Miss Julie had replaced most of his clothes with new ones. Should he pack these? How much would he need for this trip? Having never left the capital before, Jared felt overwhelmed making the most basic decisions. When would Jensen be done meeting with his parents? Jared wondered. He needed advice and didn’t know whom else to ask.
A soft knock on his door and a quiet “Jared?” made him wonder if his thoughts could summon the Prince whenever he wanted him.
“Come in, Jensen!” Jared called from across the room as he continued to stare at his clothing, hoping the right choices would become obvious the longer he stared.
“I’m sorry to bother you, Jared, but do you truly want me to accompany you on this trip? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
Jared turned to face Jensen and was surprised to find him still at the door. He hadn’t stepped further into the room. Jared crossed the room to him. “Yes. Please.” He took Jensen’s hand and led him to the wardrobe. “I don’t know what to pack. What should I bring?”
“Well, you’ll need...” Jensen paused, then he stepped around Jared and took items from the closet. “Here this should do,” he said, placing the items on Jared’s bed. “Something for riding and something for when you meet Travis. That jacket looks good on you so bring that.”
“Thank you.”
Jensen nodded. “You’ll have a pack on your horse and two carrying supplies. We can send the rest of your things to you no matter where you stay.”
“Thank you,” Jared repeated, concerned that Jensen hadn’t looked at him yet. “Jensen, is something wrong?”
“No, of course not,” Jensen said, glancing at Jared then back to the clothes. “You didn’t answer my question, though. Should I join you on this trip? Won’t it be awkward?”
After studying the Prince for a moment, Jared took his hand again and led him to the window that overlooked the gardens. They sat in the overstuffed chairs there. “Jensen, I’ve never been on an overnight trip. I’ve never even been out of the capital. And,” he took a breath and met Jensen’s eyes. “You’re my friend, right?” Jensen nodded. Jared exhaled in relief. “You’re probably my best friend. I trust you completely. I know you won’t tease me when I tell you I’m scared. I can’t make this trip without you.”
Jensen took a deep breath. “You have no reason to be afraid, but if that’s how you feel, I will go with you.” He looked out the window for a minute. The sun was low in the sky, casting long shadows over the gardens below. He would miss playing with Lady in those gardens and hoped his melancholy wasn’t obvious. “It means a lot to me that you regard me as a friend. Thank you, Jared.”
Jared smiled to himself as he considered how much had changed in the past few months. His best friend was an actual prince. “Jensen, of course you’re my friend. In fact, you are the only one of my friends that doesn’t want something from me.”
“That’s not true, Jared, you forget. I want what I can’t have.” Sadness weighed on him as he turned to face Jared. “I will never force anything between us and the moment my company is no longer wanted, please tell me.”
Jared studied him for a moment. “What’s wrong? You’re not acting like yourself.”
“Sorry.” Jensen mumbled, apparently he failed to hide his sorrow.
“Don’t do that. Don’t apologize when you’ve done nothing wrong.”
Jensen sighed, fighting the urge to apologize for apologizing.
“Can you tell me what has made you change from the carefree Jensen you were yesterday?”
Jensen closed his eyes to shut out Jared’s pleading expression. He refused to tell Jared about the banishment. If Jared chose him out of pity, it would seem like Jensen had forced Jared’s hand. Knowing he had to say something, he turned to Jared. “I realize that this chapter of my life, my time at home, is ending. I need to grow up and be on my own and it’s making me nostalgic and, I guess, melancholic. Sorry for my poor mood. I’ll try harder not to --”
“Don’t apologize for your feelings, Jensen,” Jared groaned.
Frustrated that nothing he did was right, Jensen sighed, “Please don’t be angry with me. I can’t endure you being angry with me, too.”
“I’m not angry, Jensen. How could I be? You’ve done so much for me. I’m concerned.” He reached over and squeezed Jensen’s arm in reassurance. “I understand. I’m feeling the same way.”
“You are?”
“Yes.” Jared took a breath so he could organize his thoughts. “You are sitting in my favorite chair.”
Jensen looked down at the chair in confusion. What did the chair have to do with anything?
“When I sit there,” Jared began nodding at the chair, “I can see into the gardens and watch you play with Lady.”
Jensen sat up straight and peered out the window. Jared had a view of his mother’s garden and the lawn leading up to the stables.
“Did I ever thank you for all of this?” Jared continued.
“For all of what?”
“This. This incredible room, the books, the telescope, the bed that is actually big enough for me to stretch out. Your mother told me you did all of this for me. I never thanked you,” Jared explained.
“You don’t have to thank me. It’s my duty to provide for you and make you comfortable.”
“You went above just doing your ‘duty’. I am comfortable and welcome here,” Jared said. “You built that bed specially for me and,” he paused as he looked around the room, his eyes landing on the door that was always locked. He turned back to Jensen. “I can’t believe it’s my last night here.”
Jensen sighed. “Me either.”
“My first night that bed terrified me and now I’m heartbroken to leave it behind.”
Jensen was more confused than ever. “The bed terrified you?”
“Yeah. I never saw a bed so big. I thought it meant you would share it with me, and at the time I really didn’t want that.”
Jensen’s eyes narrowed. What did Jared mean by ‘at the time’? He shook his head. “Again, I wish I had been able to talk to you before all this. I would have explained how nothing would happen without your consent.”
Jared tilted his head and studied the Prince. “Maybe it happened the way it was supposed to. If you had spoken to me, I would have told you about Travis and you wouldn’t have chosen me and we would never have become friends. I truly cherish your friendship, Jensen.”
Jensen found solace in those words. “Thank you, Jared. I do, too.” Jared’s smile was so open and honest that Jensen’s spirits lifted.
“There is one thing that always bothered me about this room,” Jared said, turning in his chair to look at the locked door. “Why is that door locked? Where does it go?”
Feeling heat rise in his cheeks, Jensen cleared his throat before he spoke. “That’s the lover’s walk,” he explained. “It leads to my room. It’s part of the tradition. If the Intended wishes, he or she may ask the Royal for the key. The Royal has the key but no lock. The door doesn’t open from the Royal’s side. Only the Intended can unlock the door. But they can only unlock it by asking the Royal for the key. It’s supposed to ensure that any unchaperoned visit is consensual.”
“Huh.” Jared wrinkled his face. “Did your parents use it?”
Jensen made a disgusted face. “I don’t want to think about it.”
Jared laughed. “What about now? We’re unchaperoned.”
Jensen shook his head. “Not really, your door is open and Richard and Rob are right outside the door.”
“They are?”
“Richard!” Jensen shouted to prove his point, and the valet appeared.
“Yes, Sir?”
“Please help Jared pack for our trip,” Jensen commanded as he stood. “Good night, Jared. Sleep well, I’ll see you at first light.”
“Why are we stopping?” Jared asked, seeing nothing but trees around him.
“We have to set camp while there’s still daylight,” Jensen explained. He dismounted, then walked over to take the reins to Jared’s horse so he could climb off his horse.
“Camp?” Jared looked around the small clearing, and panic curled in his stomach. “We’re going to sleep here?”
Jared climbed off the horse as Jensen kept the animal still, but his legs were unsteady, and he nearly collapsed into the Prince. “Oof, sorry. My legs don’t seem to work.”
Jensen chuckled and released the reins to hold Jared. “It’s okay. That can happen after such a long ride.” He helped Jared over to a tree where he could get his balance.
Jared’s dread hit him full force as he took in his forest surroundings. Jensen’s men were busy unpacking the horses and doing things Jared didn’t understand. “Jensen.” He grabbed the Prince’s arm. “Where are we going to sleep?”
“Here, Jared, in tents,” he explained, waving his hand at the small clearing.
Jared blinked. “Tents? What about food? What are we going to eat? I thought we would stay at your home in Wildebridge.”
Surprised by Jared’s outburst, Jensen suppressed a laugh. “Yes, we’re sleeping in tents. We have plenty of food, and we’ll be at Wildebridge tomorrow night.”
Jared didn’t look any less panicked. “But tonight we’re sleeping in the wilderness? With the bears and the wolves and whatever other wild beasts may be out here?”
“Jared, you will be perfectly safe.” Jensen took a blanket and placed it on the ground. “Here, sit down. The men and I will set up camp. Or, if you wish, you can join Rob in gathering firewood.”
Jared noticed all the other men working and decided he should contribute. Maybe it would take his mind off his fear of sleeping outdoors. “I don’t mind gathering firewood,” he said meekly.
“Good!” Jensen beamed at him. “I will lead the horses to the creek. You’ll see, camping out can be fun.”
As Rob showed him the type of wood to collect for the fire, Jared asked, “Do Jensen’s parents camp like this when they go to Wildebridge?”
Rob snorted. “No, they would stay at inns along the way. But the Prince enjoys camping, and it makes for a much faster trip. We’ll get to Wildebridge tomorrow. If we were traveling with the King and Queen, it would take three days.”
After several trips into the woods for wood, Jared had worked up an appetite. It surprised him to find a half dozen tents set up and a fire blazing. What shocked him, even more, was seeing the Prince carrying two large dead wood grouse. Jensen handed them off to a man to clean and grinned when Tamoh said, “Those archery lessons are finally paying off.”
Jensen ignored the bustling campsite and went straight to Jared. “You and Rob gathered plenty of wood. We’ll be eating soon, but if you’d like some bread or some wine to hold you over…”
“No, I’m not hungry,” Jared replied as he mentally counted the tents.
“Not hungry? What’s wrong?” Jensen asked, his eyes full of concern.
Jared leaned in to whisper. “There are not enough tents for everyone. Does someone have to sleep outside?”
Jensen checked the number of tents and then explained. “No. We’ll be doubling up. Two men to a tent and two men on watch. The men on watch take the tent of the next men on duty.”
“Watch? Why do we need a watch if you said we’re perfectly safe out here?”
“We’re perfectly safe because we have a watch. The fire keeps most animals away. But I am the Prince, and a guard is standard procedure,” Jensen clarified.
Jared nodded, feeling a little more at ease. “I’m sharing your tent, right?”
“Um, no. That would be improper. You’ll be sharing with Rob.”
Jared seized Jensen’s hand in a bone-crushing grip. “No. Please, Jensen. I want to stay with you. Rob can’t protect me if some bear attacked in the middle of the night.”
Jensen tried to shake his hand loose but couldn’t. “Jared, a bear won’t attack our camp --”
“Please, Jensen.” Jared looked so sad and scared, he forced Jensen to give in.
“Fine, Jared, just let me talk to Rob and Richard. We’ll figure something out.”
Jared finally released his hand and blew out a huge breath of relief. “Thank you, Jensen.”
Jensen approached Richard and glanced around before pulling him to the side to speak privately. “Jared is terrified of sleeping out in these woods. He thinks a wild animal will attack him during the night and that Rob won’t be able to protect him.”
Richard smirked but knew he shouldn’t laugh. “Well, he’s right. Rob would only be a snack before the bear moved on to eat Mr. Jared.”
“Richard,” the Prince growled, unamused. “He wants to sleep in my tent.”
“Oh.” Richard understood the Prince’s dilemma. Jared wasn’t his Intended, but during the Year of Promise, the Prince had to behave beyond reproach. Rob and Richard understood nothing improper would happen. But what about the other men? “Let’s talk to Tahmoh. He knows the reason for our trip, and if he agrees, then he can make the other men understand.”
Jared paced as Jensen conferred with Richard and then Tahmoh. He worried at a hangnail on his thumb with his teeth as he wondered if he’d get any sleep that night. Surely Jensen’s men would hate him if he begged to ride through the night. They needed food and rest, but wouldn’t the smell of food cooking attract wolves or bear?
Jensen interrupted Jared’s growing concerns by placing a comforting hand on Jared’s shoulder. “I’ve consulted with the others, and if you’d be more comfortable in my tent, you are welcome to sleep there.”
“Thank you.”
Jensen smiled. “Let’s eat dinner by the fire. I’m starved.”
With the fear of the night ahead of him eased, Jared’s appetite returned. “Me, too. I could eat a whole grouse by myself.”
Jensen’s eyes widened. “Good thing we have plenty of food.”
Jensen enjoyed himself almost as much as he had at the festival. The men were in excellent spirits, laughing and joking with one another and telling exaggerated tales of their bravery.
When some wolves howled, Jared gripped Jensen’s arm in terror. “Nothing to worry about, Mr. Jared,” Tahmoh explained. “Those wolves are alerting other animals that men are in the forest. They can see our fire and know to stay away.”
Jared smiled tightly and slowly released Jensen’s arm. He didn’t feel safer, but he was embarrassed that someone had noticed his fear.
Once in Jensen’s tent, Jared’s fear kept him awake. He didn’t want to disturb Jensen, but every breeze that rustled some leaves startled him.
“Jared,” Jensen whispered.
“Sorry. I’ll try to--”
“Shh, no, it’s okay. Come here. Give me your hand.”
The tent was tiny, barely big enough for them to lie down. Jared moved towards Jensen’s voice. He couldn’t see the Prince in the darkness, so he blindly waved his hand around until Jensen grabbed it.
“Okay,” the Prince whispered calmly. “Put your other hand on my chest.” Jared rolled on his side facing Jensen and did as he asked. “Good. Get comfortable, but keep your hand right here.” Jensen put his hand over Jared’s hand. Once Jared seemed settled, Jensen said, “Breathe when I breathe.” He took a few slow, deep breaths. “My mom used to do this with Elizabeth and me when we couldn’t sleep,” he explained. “Don’t think about anything but matching my breath.”
“Okay,” Jared said on an exhale.
Jared didn’t know how long they laid there breathing like that. Feeling Jensen’s chest rise and fall with each breath was hypnotic. Jensen was steadfast and peaceful, and his hand resting over Jared’s calmed him. The next thing he knew, the sun was up, and the Prince was gently shaking him awake.
“Time to get up. We must pack and get back on the road,” Jensen said, smiling down at him and looking sleep tousled.
Not sure if he was dreaming, Jared reached up and combed his fingers through Jensen’s hair.
The Price wet his lips, but then blinked and pulled away. “Come on, we mustn’t keep everyone waiting.”
chapter 10