(no subject)
It's been a week and a day since my foot surgery. For a week and a day, I have barely left my house, and have made a permanent butt indentation in the couch, and have almost rubbed the numbers off of the remote. Not really (about the remote), but pretty close. I've read a lot, watched waaaayyy too much of the food network, and now I am watching a blackbird and a robin fight outside in our garden. It is sad. I am officially bored. At first, being bored was great. Now it's just boring. I know that I should be using my time to read the Bible or do something that's not a waste of time, but I've done a lot of reading the Bible and to be quite honest, I'm just tired of reading. I can't drive, so leaving is out of the question, and I obviously can't work out, so that's out of the question, too. My mom rented the 7th season of Friends for me, and sadly, I realized that I already rented the 7th season when I was home last summer. I should have gotten the 8th season. sad times. To be quite honest, I am kind of depressed. I KNOW there are people out there with way worse situations than mine, but can I just complain for a minute? My foot hurts, my ankle is swollen, and the doctor told me I can't get my stitches out for another week. That means that I still can't really function on my own because I need my crutches, which means I can't go back to champaign for another week. I can't shower b/c my foot can't get wet, and I can't get into the bathtub by myself because my foot has to hang out and it's just awkward. I'm 20 years old and my mom is helping me get into the bathtub. it's embarassing. It's depressing. My friends are all working or in Champaign, so i don't really get to see anyone. I'm eating but not working out, and I'm gaining weight, despite the fact that I'm not eating much at all. I miss Jason a lot, I miss going to church, I miss DOING things. My whole body hurts from using crutches because my arms aren't very strong, and my leg isn't used to holding my foot up forever. My pain medicine makes my stomach hurt, and my foot still hurts, and my throat hurts from the breathing tube they put down it, and I'm just tired of all of this! I know in the long run this is good for me, it's just really hard to deal with it all right now. I can pray and read the Bible and realize that God is good even when the situation is bad, but it doesn't change the fact that it sucks. I can't force myself to think "happy thoughts" much longer, when I'm just really not feeling it. Prozac, anyone?