(no subject)
I'm tired of hurting people. I'm tired of being the one to bring someone's mood down. I'm tired of causing unhappiness.
I was having a fine conversation with one friend tonight when the topic of "Across the Universe", the movie based on Beatles music, came up. That eventually lead to me giving a bit of backstory on my experience regarding the movie with Debbie last year and becoming very emotionally volatile as a result. A negative comment was made about Beatle music and I completely overreacted, turning my part of the conversation very emotional and somewhat angry. I tried to turn the conversation around and say good things about my relationship with this person, but I guess I'd made her angry as well because she stopped me short.
Not even an hour later, another friend texted me and told me her ex had visited just then. Then she mentioned they'd had sex. I said something like, "So the visit went exceedingly well, then?" to which she responded, "Not really, but it was better than another boring night alone." The rest went something like:
me: I have to admit I'm a litle curious as to what this means for you and your ex.
her: Nothing, I assure you.
me: How did it happen? / What brought it on?
her: Lack of sex on both our parts.
At this point, I figured it was just a thing that happened and was voluntary on both parts.
me: Well yes. :p I'm just curious as to how premeditated it was. And that probably sounds really accusatory but it isn't meant to.
her: It just happened.
me: Well, at least you had a slightly better night. :p
her: I want to go to bed and I know I was used.
Crap. She came to me vulnerable and I turned it into her bringing it on herself.
I seem to be increasingly great at being a jerk.
I don't want to keep doing this to people.
I was having a fine conversation with one friend tonight when the topic of "Across the Universe", the movie based on Beatles music, came up. That eventually lead to me giving a bit of backstory on my experience regarding the movie with Debbie last year and becoming very emotionally volatile as a result. A negative comment was made about Beatle music and I completely overreacted, turning my part of the conversation very emotional and somewhat angry. I tried to turn the conversation around and say good things about my relationship with this person, but I guess I'd made her angry as well because she stopped me short.
Not even an hour later, another friend texted me and told me her ex had visited just then. Then she mentioned they'd had sex. I said something like, "So the visit went exceedingly well, then?" to which she responded, "Not really, but it was better than another boring night alone." The rest went something like:
me: I have to admit I'm a litle curious as to what this means for you and your ex.
her: Nothing, I assure you.
me: How did it happen? / What brought it on?
her: Lack of sex on both our parts.
At this point, I figured it was just a thing that happened and was voluntary on both parts.
me: Well yes. :p I'm just curious as to how premeditated it was. And that probably sounds really accusatory but it isn't meant to.
her: It just happened.
me: Well, at least you had a slightly better night. :p
her: I want to go to bed and I know I was used.
Crap. She came to me vulnerable and I turned it into her bringing it on herself.
I seem to be increasingly great at being a jerk.
I don't want to keep doing this to people.