It sounds like a bit of desperation to me. Do you have a lot of other stuff going on? New people are supposed to add to your life, not become your life.
You're entirely right, which is exactly why I'm trying to break out of this. There is no desperation, but whenever a new person comes along, it becomes a situation strongly resembling desperation. Maybe I have some deep-seated desperation? I can't figure it out. But I want it to go away.
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