Bash Wars Tournament O' Death Quarterfinals
I hereby declare voting for the second round closed and thus continue with everyone's favorite fake tournament, namely:
FIGHT NIGHT PRESENTS
THE 1ST ANNUAL
BASH WARS
OPEN INVITATIONAL
TOURNAMENT O' DEATH!
(sponsored by TasteeCo Foodstuffs)
VERSUS
DARKSEID
(#2, mightygodking)
SPIDER-MAN
(#6, brucha)
Yes, in a stunning upset, Spider-Man defeated giant hulking warmech Optimus Prime 27-19, advancing to face Darkseid, who dispatched with Superboy 25-17. On paper, this matchup seems like easy pickings for Darkseid, but remember--Spider-Man could beat Jesus, so what's another god to the web-slinger? It's worth noting that we've been denied a chance to see a rematch of the Superboy/Spider-Man bout from Marvel Versus DC #3. Perhaps more critically, Optimus Prime's elimination removes the Autobot Matrix of Leadership from play, and that has to be a source of relief for the Unicron locker room.
VERSUS
UNICRON
(#1, nathanpmahney)
ANIMAL
(#4, tropical_madnes)
Unicron, of course, had plenty of time to look ahead to the semifinals, having steamrolled over Tananda 34-6. He now faces Animal, fresh from feasting on the bones of the late, lamented John McClane with a final score of 27-19. Unicron's only known weakness is the Matrix, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have weaknesses we don't know of. Does Animal have what it takes to be one of them?
VERSUS
BROCK SAMSON
(#4, godchilde)
MR. ROGERS
(#1, lovehonorlife)
Even these pictures are horrifically violent. All that's for sure is that arteries will be sliced in this one. There wasn't much left of Oprah after Brock's 30-17 win, while Mr. Rogers was again having an unusually difficult time advancing when he beat John Constantine 30-22. This is the second time our overall #1 seed has had a relatively slim margin of victory over a relatively inferior opponent. Perhaps he is content to toy with his enemies, allowing himself to take damage to create the illusion of hope, the better to inevitably crush it. No one can say.
VERSUS
GIZMO DUCK
(#7, touchy_seeley)
BRANDAWG
(#11, himself)
The amazing Cinderella story continues, as brandawg scores his second upset, this time against the formidable Samoa Joe, 26-17. (We'll never know what might have happened if Joe had still been undefeated in TNA going into this match.) For most of the weekend his next opponent was in doubt, as Kool-Aid Man and Gizmo Duck were locked in a dead heat. But as of this writing, the final score is 24-22, and Gizmo Duck narrowly forces his way into the Elite Eight. I suspect the war between cybernetic waterfowl and anthropomorphic pitchers is far from over, but in the meantime Fenton Crackshell cannot rest up from his hard-earned "W", unless he wants to sleep on a bed of mercilessness.
Remember--as of this round, "Both Maimed And Killed" is no longer an option. We must have a final four!
Poll Bash Wars Quarterfinals
Voting concludes the night of Tuesday, December 5, when the semifinals begin. Don'cha dare miss it!
FIGHT NIGHT PRESENTS
THE 1ST ANNUAL
BASH WARS
OPEN INVITATIONAL
TOURNAMENT O' DEATH!
(sponsored by TasteeCo Foodstuffs)
VERSUS
DARKSEID
(#2, mightygodking)
SPIDER-MAN
(#6, brucha)
Yes, in a stunning upset, Spider-Man defeated giant hulking warmech Optimus Prime 27-19, advancing to face Darkseid, who dispatched with Superboy 25-17. On paper, this matchup seems like easy pickings for Darkseid, but remember--Spider-Man could beat Jesus, so what's another god to the web-slinger? It's worth noting that we've been denied a chance to see a rematch of the Superboy/Spider-Man bout from Marvel Versus DC #3. Perhaps more critically, Optimus Prime's elimination removes the Autobot Matrix of Leadership from play, and that has to be a source of relief for the Unicron locker room.
VERSUS
UNICRON
(#1, nathanpmahney)
ANIMAL
(#4, tropical_madnes)
Unicron, of course, had plenty of time to look ahead to the semifinals, having steamrolled over Tananda 34-6. He now faces Animal, fresh from feasting on the bones of the late, lamented John McClane with a final score of 27-19. Unicron's only known weakness is the Matrix, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have weaknesses we don't know of. Does Animal have what it takes to be one of them?
VERSUS
BROCK SAMSON
(#4, godchilde)
MR. ROGERS
(#1, lovehonorlife)
Even these pictures are horrifically violent. All that's for sure is that arteries will be sliced in this one. There wasn't much left of Oprah after Brock's 30-17 win, while Mr. Rogers was again having an unusually difficult time advancing when he beat John Constantine 30-22. This is the second time our overall #1 seed has had a relatively slim margin of victory over a relatively inferior opponent. Perhaps he is content to toy with his enemies, allowing himself to take damage to create the illusion of hope, the better to inevitably crush it. No one can say.
VERSUS
GIZMO DUCK
(#7, touchy_seeley)
BRANDAWG
(#11, himself)
The amazing Cinderella story continues, as brandawg scores his second upset, this time against the formidable Samoa Joe, 26-17. (We'll never know what might have happened if Joe had still been undefeated in TNA going into this match.) For most of the weekend his next opponent was in doubt, as Kool-Aid Man and Gizmo Duck were locked in a dead heat. But as of this writing, the final score is 24-22, and Gizmo Duck narrowly forces his way into the Elite Eight. I suspect the war between cybernetic waterfowl and anthropomorphic pitchers is far from over, but in the meantime Fenton Crackshell cannot rest up from his hard-earned "W", unless he wants to sleep on a bed of mercilessness.
Remember--as of this round, "Both Maimed And Killed" is no longer an option. We must have a final four!
Poll Bash Wars Quarterfinals
Voting concludes the night of Tuesday, December 5, when the semifinals begin. Don'cha dare miss it!