Feeling like a rambly bitch
It's nothin', I just can't sleep
I wish I could cut out the lyrics to my favorite songs and piece them together, like a ransom note, so that they would say what I want to. And then I could go to bed clear. Don't need to feel guilty or responsible for someone else's words. Aren't mine.
But I could still say these things. Except it's so easy to turn into a melodramatic angsty bastard that way. I mean look at the title of this crap. That's the second step, getting anti-me on yourself, because it's a lie what I said. It's still my words. As much mine as anyone else's at least, since we're all forced to use the limited set the English language gives us. Everyone that speaks English anyway. "The quality of our thoughts is bordered on all sides by our facility with language." My friend sent me this quote the other day in an email, nothing else, just this quote and a sentence saying he thought it was true. J. Michael Straczynski said this originally, but my friend said it to me and I'm saying it to you. It's a combination of words owned by this guy with the long last name, but that I can write here, and my friend can write to me, and that can end up on a Quote of the Day calendar where he saw it. So who owns it really?
I remember of a promise
And a temper rises
When I think of her
We neutralized my long ago
What if these words only mean something to me because they're lyrics from a CD my boyfriend gave me for Valentine's Day? If I don't tell you that, you'll read into them more, or conversely write me off as overdramatic and trying to be deep. What if I just think they're words? What if I do find meaning in them from my own life and I don't give a fuck if you think I'm being dramatic? Who decides what these words mean, and how they matter?
Everyday people, they lie to God too.
***So what makes you think they won't lie to you?
******Too much carbon dioxide, for me to bear.
*********Where's the air?
************Don't you care?
***************I'm an astronaut in this parking lot
************hunger hurts but starving works when it costs too much
*********You've got to press it on you
******I had this funny feeling like I just knew it's somethin' bad
***only you can save me now from this misery
Hallelujah
I Love You.
They're only fucking words, y'know? Passed around, stolen, mispronounced, undefined, meaningless, limited, everything. We're stuck with them. We're hurt by them, happy by them, confused by them. Who said words were allowed to matter so much?