In Good Hands
In Good Hands
Rating; PG-13
Pairing; None
Genre; AU
Summary; Luhan finally completes the adoption he's been working toward.
Warnings; Mentions of past abuse.
Word count; 3329
Notes; Written for the beautiful and terrific Jessica, with her help on certain things like the Chinese words I don't know. Enjoy~
"Hello." Luhan dropped to his knees and offered a small smile to the boy in front of him, wrinkles forming around his eyes.
"Chooboo~" the boy called out excitedly, nonsensically. But he returned that smile anyway.
"I'm Luhan. What's your name?" Luhan already knew his name, but he was attempting to have some sort of actual conversation with him.
Turning to more fully face the Chinese man, the boy informed him, "I Kim Minseok Little Fatty!" He grinned away proudly.
Luhan's eyebrows shot up at the nickname he'd used on himself, surprised that anyone could look at this adorable guy and accuse him of being fat, when it all looked like baby fat anyway that would melt off once he got older probably. "Why do you call yourself Little Fatty?" he asked the four-year-old.
"My mofther and fafther say this one to me," Minseok told Luhan, turning his palms toward the ceiling in a gesture of unsureness.
"I don't think you're a little fatty," he practically whispered to the child, shuffling a little closer, already feeling a swelling in his heart. "But you do look a lot like a little baozi~"
"Baozi?" asked Minseok with an innocently curious expression.
"It's Chinese. It means a steamed bun. Just like your round little cheeks!" Luhan pinched lightly at those cheeks, but Minseok pushed his hands away immediately.
"Hey don't do that one!" he insisted vehemently, rubbing at his cheeks.
Luhan dropped his hands but his smile didn't falter. "Okay. I won't do that." He glanced toward the clock on the wall, knowing he didn't have much time. "Do you wanna play?" He gestured at some of the nearby toys.
Minseok looked between Luhan and the toys a few times, then ran over and grabbed a large plastic dinosaur and a small dragon plushie. Then he toddled back over to Luhan and handed him the plushie. "This baby," he told Luhan very seriously, and Luhan nodded along. "This daddy," he continued, holding out the dinosaur. Again Luhan nodded, though he was growing concerned based on what he'd been told about Minseok's past before entering the foster system.
"You bad baby!" Minseok was suddenly yelling, and without warning, he brought the heavy dinosaur crashing into the plushie. "Bad boy spill dinner!"
"No, no!" Luhan insisted, pulling the dinosaur from Minseok's grasp. He placed both toys on the floor between them, though Minseok looked very put out about having the toy taken away from him. Luhan gently patted the dragon's head and lifted the dinosaur, moving it as he spoke, "Baby, you spilled dinner?"
He lifted the dragon and continued, "Yes, I was a bad boy."
He placed them down gently again and had the dinosaur slide up close to the dragon. "Can you help daddy clean it all up?"
The dragon nodded. "Big boys help fix things when they've done something wrong."
The dinosaur pressed against the dragon, the closest Luhan could get to having it hug the dragon. "Thank you, baby. Let's be careful not to spill it again, okay?"
He looked to Minseok to gauge his reaction. Minseok was looking at the toys in concern and confusion. "Daddy not mad?"
"No, Minseok, daddy is a little mad. Baby did a bad thing. But baby will fix it and he will try not to do it again! So daddy hugs him." He pushed the toys aside to pull Minseok to himself for a little hug. Minseok went willingly but simply laid against Luhan, not hugging him back.
"Lu-an daddy hugs you?" Minseok asked mildly, almost sounding disinterested.
"When I was still a baby, my daddy hugged me a lot."
Minseok stood away from Luhan and picked up the dinosaur again. Luhan immediately reassumed his role as the baby dragon. "You bad, baby Lu-an," Minseok had the dinosaur recite, a lot less viciously than he'd been talking before. "Daddy give you hug." He mooshed the toys together with all the grace of a typical four year old.
Luhan laughed. "Minseok, would you like to see me some more? I can give you lots of hugs, you know."
"Lu-an come see me here?" Minseok asked, looking at least a slight bit excited by the prospect.
Luhan nodded, his smile back on his face. "If you want me to."
"Yes! Lu-an my friend."
Luhan looked at the clock again, knowing he really had to go. "Luhan has to leave for today, but I'll come see you soon, I promise." He held his arms out for another hug, and Minseok only grudgingly gave one. And despite how much Luhan wanted to stay, he left.
~~~~~
Luhan got to visit with Minseok only once more, for an equally brief time, before he was told the final parts of his application for adoption had been completed and he could take Minseok home with him. When he got the phone call to tell him as much, Luhan nearly cried. He had been trying for years to adopt, and from the moment he'd met Minseok he'd known this was the child he wanted to father. It seemed like all of his hard work, wishing, and praying were finally paying off.
It was an overcast Tuesday morning that Luhan would never forget when the car pulled up in front of his apartment building. A man who introduced himself as Kim Jongdae in fluent Chinese led Minseok out of the car, along with Minseok's single suitcase, and accompanied the boy up to Luhan's apartment.
"The agency is always happy to see children being taken into good homes with such kind parents," Kim Jongdae had told Luhan happily between lots of other statements regarding the adoption. "I've had the chance to spend a lot of time with Minseok, and I'll miss him."
"He'll be in good hands here, if that's any consolation," Luhan had returned.
"I can see that." Jongdae's smile was warm, if a little sad. "He hasn't stopped talking about you since your first visit. I think he'll have the chance to be happy here." Having said that, Jongdae dropped down to Minseok's level to give him a long, tight hug.
"Unca Jongdae~" Minseok protested and squirmed away.
Jongdae had tears in his eyes as he finally released Minseok. "I have to go now, but you can spend time with your friend Luhan now, right?"
"Ah, no! Lu-an friend and unca Jongdae stay here togefther wifth me!"
Jongdae chuckled, cutting his eyes up to Luhan, then back to Minseok. "You'll be fine, cutie pie, maybe we'll see each other again sometime, okay?"
Minseok looked grumpy and turned away from Jongdae. Sighing, Jongdae stood and held a hand out to Luhan, who shook it. "We'll be checking in soon." He ruffled Minseok's hair. "Bye now, cutie pie!"
Minseok just grumbled and stepped out of his reach. With the slightest nod of acceptance, Jongdae took his leave.
Luhan wasn't too pleased that his first moments having officially adopted Minseok were being spent with the boy so grumpy, so he grabbed Minseok's suitcase and offered, "Wanna see your room?"
At that, Minseok seemed to brighten up, his big eyes shining a little as he nodded. Luhan led the way, placing the suitcase down inside of a room with blue and red walls, a racecar bed, a chest full of toys, and a big bureau loaded with clothes all in Minseok's size. Minseok timidly ventured into the middle of the room, eyes wide as he looked around. Finally he looked at Luhan. "My room?" he asked unsurely.
Luhan smiled indulgently. "All yours."
Minseok broke into a wild grin and bounded toward the bed, where he flopped himself down face first. Luhan laughed at the sight, his chest feeling light. He had wondered how long it would take to get to see his son in that bed.
~~~~~
"Whassat?" Minseok was pointing at a billboard.
"That's a billboard," Luhan explained as they walked. "It says you shouldn't use your phone when you drive. You can have an accident and get hurt."
Minseok nodded and continued looking around. The next place his finger swung was in the direction on a sign on a telephone pole. "Whassat?"
"It's an advertisement for a music show tomorrow night," Luhan told him.
"Uh-huh." They continued down the sidewalk, Luhan soaking in the sun and enjoying being out with Minseok. "Whassat?" He pointed at writing in the middle of the road.
"It says 'slow - school' so cars won't go fast, in case there are kids nearby." Luhan would have to get into Chinese lessons with Minseok soon, knowing that as he got older learning the language would become more and more difficult.
Minseok's hand swung around again, and Luhan prepared himself for a walk filled with constant questions, but instead the four year old seemed to lose interest in what he was about to question, suddenly looking down at the ground. "I monster!" he announced with authority, then began stomping with each step. He let out a small roar, clinging harder to Luhan's hand despite the fact that at first he hadn't wanted to hold Luhan's hand at all.
"Is the monster hungry?" Luhan asked.
"Yeah! Yeah! Raaarrrr!" Minseok hopped twice and tossed a grin up at Luhan. "Hungry!"
"Can you say, e?"
"E?" Minseok repeated, not quite replicating the sound but coming close.
"That's 'hungry' in Chinese. Now try, wo hen e."
"Wo hen e." Again Minseok was trying but the pronunciation was off. Luhan didn't worry, though. At four years old he was sure his own pronunciation wasn't the best.
"That means 'I'm hungry'. You can tell me that whenever you need to eat."
"And Lu-an won't be mad?" Minseok asked a little shyly.
It was little offhanded questions like those that always broke Luhan's heart just a little. There was nothing he could do about Minseok's past, but he could make damn sure his future was a good one. "No, I won't get mad when you tell me you're hungry," he assured the little boy. He stopped in front of the street vendor he'd been leading them toward.
"Wo hen e!" Minseok informed the vendor excitedly.
The man chuckled heartily and offered praise to the boy in Chinese, so Minseok just looked at Luhan in confusion, his little brow wrinkled. "He said you're very cute!" Luhan was happy to share, and then he ordered them some bao and led Minseok to a nearby bench to sit and enjoy their lunch. Minseok insisted on climbing onto his seat by himself, and sat a bit away from Luhan.
Minseok accepted one of the dumplings graciously and began nibbling at it neatly. Luhan held one up with a smile and said, "This is what your little cheeks make me think of, Minseok. Pale and round, my little baozi."
Minseok looked at his own dumpling, the side opened to reveal the meat filled interior. "Baozi," he repeated in a melodic voice, then took a big bite of his food.
~~~~~
Minseok always ate neatly. In fact, he was neater even than Luhan, which was quite a feat for a four year old. He made his bed each morning as well, and he never left his toys out. And if ever Luhan made a mess, he found himself being gently reminded to clean up after himself by the toddler.
Luhan tried not to let the neurotic behavior bother him, but he was made acutely aware of the source of his behavior the first time Minseok made a real mess. Minseok, always attempting to be as grown up as possible for such a young child, stood on a chair and poured himself a bowlful of cereal. Then as he attempted to add milk to the bowl, the mostly full gallon fell from his grip and spilled all over the table and floor.
Luhan, having been unaware of what Minseok was attempting on his own, immediately rushed from the bathroom to the kitchen at the sound of the jug falling. At the sight of the milk, he whirled around to grab a towel from the linen closet, then rushed into the kitchen to begin cleaning the mess. "Oh, no!" he lamented, turning the jug up the right way to stop it from spilling anymore. As he continued cleaning up the mess, he looked around for Minseok.
Minseok had curled to the ground with his back pressed to the cabinets on the opposite side of the kitchen, his arms around his knees and his eyes full of fear as he watched Luhan cleaning the milk off the floor. "Bao," Luhan breathed out, abandoning his attempt to mop up the spill and walking over to Minseok. Minseok became visibly more afraid, tensing up further and burying his face against his legs. From his self-protecting cocoon, Luhan could hear him murmuring, "Sorry, sorry sorry, sorry..."
"Hey," Luhan attempted to calm him, dropping down to sit beside him. "Hey, come here." He gently pulled Minseok's arms away from his legs only to find his face tear-streaked. Minseok turned his face away, sniffling, seeming to wait for more to come. But Luhan just tugged Minseok into his lap and hugged him close.
Then Minseok wasn't crying silently anymore, openly sobbing into Luhan's chest and begging, "Don't be mad, I sorry, I sorry!"
"No, no, I'm not mad, baby, it was an accident," Luhan reassured, speaking slowly and quietly as he rocked Minseok back and forth a little, a hand stroking his hair gently. "It's okay, I'm not mad."
They stayed like that for long minutes, Minseok crying until he was completely cried out, and Luhan stroking his hair and back with tender touches. When at last Minseok pulled away to look up at Luhan, he still looked unsure, like Luhan would change his mind at any moment and become the father Minseok had become used to during his first four years of life.
"Minseok, do you know what little boys do when they make messes in this house?" Luhan asked, his fingers running through Minseok's hair.
Minseok sniffled and shook his head.
"They help clean them up. So come on, we've got to get all that milk up before it ruins anything." He carefully guided Minseok from his lap, letting him take his time to stand and make his way back over to the table. Luhan fetched a smaller towel from the linen closet and gave it to Minseok, and together they finished mopping up the spill.
As Luhan used a rag and some cleaner to finish getting rid of the mess, on his hands and knees to reach as far under the table as the milk had traveled, he asked Minseok, "So, how would you like to have some pancakes instead of cereal?"
Unexpectedly, Minseok reached out and hugged Luhan tight around his neck. "Pancakes," he repeated back.
~~~~~
Minseok's fifth birthday was on a Wednesday a little over three months after he'd come to live with Luhan. Though Luhan had planned a small party for the following Saturday with a few of the kids Minseok had tentatively befriended at the nearby kids' park along with their parents, he had decided to give Minseok a small celebration on the actual day of Minseok's birthday with just the two of them.
When Luhan collected Minseok off the school bus after preschool was done for the day, he carried Minseok into the building despite Minseok's protests about being a big boy and being able to walk by himself. Laughing, he set Minseok down so he could climb the stairs up to their floor on his own, telling him, "Well, I guess you really are a big boy, since you're five years old today! Wu means five."
"Wu!" Minseok practically shouted as he reached their floor and rushed into their apartment.
"I've got something for you," Luhan told him, then took his coat and backpack to hang them up and disappeared into the kitchen. When he returned, he offered a small cake to Minseok, telling him, "Dangao."
Minseok eagerly took the plate and brought it to the coffee table, kneeling in front of it. "Dangao~" he sang out.
Luhan followed after him and gave him a fork and spoon. Then he placed a small dish of ice cream beside the plate of cake. "And binqilin."
This time Minseok didn't repeat the Chinese word back, his mouth full of cake, but he did offer an eager nod.
"You can have these today but this Saturday we'll have your friends over, and you'll get more dangao and binqilin then, and they'll each bring you a liwu. Can you guess that word?"
"Liwu," Minseok attempted after he finished his biteful. "Er... it's... a..."
It became clear Minseok wasn't going to guess the word so Luhan finally told him, "Gift!"
"Oh!" Minseok scooped up some ice cream. "Yeah they give me a gifts." He devoured his spoonful of ice cream happily.
"Lots of gifts for my big grown up baozi," Luhan found himself cooing as he knelt behind Minseok and backhugged his tiny figure.
"Lu-an calls me this baozi," Minseok began thoughtfully, "and what I call you?"
"You call me Luhan, right?" Luhan asked, a bit unsure what Minseok meant.
Minseok frowned and licked at his spoon a little, then finally clarified, "My friends say to his daddy... baba."
"Oh! Yes, baba is what someone calls their dad."
Turning a little further to look at Luhan more fully, Minseok smiled and put his tiny hands on Luhan's cheeks. "Baba," he repeated, except this time it was clear that he was labeling Luhan instead of simply learning another bit of Chinese vocabulary, and Luhan's heart soared. Minseok pressed a sticky kiss to Luhan's comparatively un-sticky lips, then turned back to finish his cake and ice cream, completely oblivious to how completely speechless he'd left Luhan.
~~~~~
~~~~~
"Baba!"
Minseok accepted Luhan's hug, chuckling at his overenthusiastic dad.
"Ah, my baozi, where did all our time go?" Luhan asked as he pulled back to look at his fully grown son dressed in his graduation gown.
"Quit being dramatic, baba," Minseok whined, eyes cutting over to the group of boys from his class standing not so far away. But he saw that a few of them were also being attacked by their parents and other family members, so he tried not to be too embarrassed by Luhan's behavior.
"But you were just six years old and starting first year a few days ago, I swear!" Luhan's bottom lip wiggled.
Minseok sighed and hugged his dad again. "It's okay, we still have the summer before I go off to college," he reassured.
"Ah, you better move back here once you're done with all that silly school stuff!" Luhan demanded. "Architect, huh? So many years of schooling, just to draw pictures of buildings..."
"Hey, it's not as easy as you make it sound!" Minseok insisted. "And when you're old and grey and in need of my care you'll be glad I went to school to get a high paying job so I can afford us both!"
Luhan's lip wiggled again. "I know, bao, but I'll miss you."
The nickname had stuck for all these years despite the weight his son had dropped over the last handful of years, leaving him looking less like a baozi and more like an adult with each passing month until the handsome young man ready to start his grown up life stood before him here, tolerating Luhan's clinging though he wouldn't really understand it until he had children of his own.
Luhan took hold of Minseok's face and planted a firm kiss to his cheek, and Minseok blushed and pulled away, insisting, "Ah, my gosh, knock it off!"
Still, a few moments later, Minseok admitted quietly, "I'm gonna miss you too, baba," and even after thirteen years hearing this child who wasn't biologically his but was still his call him that made Luhan's heart feel whole.
Rating; PG-13
Pairing; None
Genre; AU
Summary; Luhan finally completes the adoption he's been working toward.
Warnings; Mentions of past abuse.
Word count; 3329
Notes; Written for the beautiful and terrific Jessica, with her help on certain things like the Chinese words I don't know. Enjoy~
"Hello." Luhan dropped to his knees and offered a small smile to the boy in front of him, wrinkles forming around his eyes.
"Chooboo~" the boy called out excitedly, nonsensically. But he returned that smile anyway.
"I'm Luhan. What's your name?" Luhan already knew his name, but he was attempting to have some sort of actual conversation with him.
Turning to more fully face the Chinese man, the boy informed him, "I Kim Minseok Little Fatty!" He grinned away proudly.
Luhan's eyebrows shot up at the nickname he'd used on himself, surprised that anyone could look at this adorable guy and accuse him of being fat, when it all looked like baby fat anyway that would melt off once he got older probably. "Why do you call yourself Little Fatty?" he asked the four-year-old.
"My mofther and fafther say this one to me," Minseok told Luhan, turning his palms toward the ceiling in a gesture of unsureness.
"I don't think you're a little fatty," he practically whispered to the child, shuffling a little closer, already feeling a swelling in his heart. "But you do look a lot like a little baozi~"
"Baozi?" asked Minseok with an innocently curious expression.
"It's Chinese. It means a steamed bun. Just like your round little cheeks!" Luhan pinched lightly at those cheeks, but Minseok pushed his hands away immediately.
"Hey don't do that one!" he insisted vehemently, rubbing at his cheeks.
Luhan dropped his hands but his smile didn't falter. "Okay. I won't do that." He glanced toward the clock on the wall, knowing he didn't have much time. "Do you wanna play?" He gestured at some of the nearby toys.
Minseok looked between Luhan and the toys a few times, then ran over and grabbed a large plastic dinosaur and a small dragon plushie. Then he toddled back over to Luhan and handed him the plushie. "This baby," he told Luhan very seriously, and Luhan nodded along. "This daddy," he continued, holding out the dinosaur. Again Luhan nodded, though he was growing concerned based on what he'd been told about Minseok's past before entering the foster system.
"You bad baby!" Minseok was suddenly yelling, and without warning, he brought the heavy dinosaur crashing into the plushie. "Bad boy spill dinner!"
"No, no!" Luhan insisted, pulling the dinosaur from Minseok's grasp. He placed both toys on the floor between them, though Minseok looked very put out about having the toy taken away from him. Luhan gently patted the dragon's head and lifted the dinosaur, moving it as he spoke, "Baby, you spilled dinner?"
He lifted the dragon and continued, "Yes, I was a bad boy."
He placed them down gently again and had the dinosaur slide up close to the dragon. "Can you help daddy clean it all up?"
The dragon nodded. "Big boys help fix things when they've done something wrong."
The dinosaur pressed against the dragon, the closest Luhan could get to having it hug the dragon. "Thank you, baby. Let's be careful not to spill it again, okay?"
He looked to Minseok to gauge his reaction. Minseok was looking at the toys in concern and confusion. "Daddy not mad?"
"No, Minseok, daddy is a little mad. Baby did a bad thing. But baby will fix it and he will try not to do it again! So daddy hugs him." He pushed the toys aside to pull Minseok to himself for a little hug. Minseok went willingly but simply laid against Luhan, not hugging him back.
"Lu-an daddy hugs you?" Minseok asked mildly, almost sounding disinterested.
"When I was still a baby, my daddy hugged me a lot."
Minseok stood away from Luhan and picked up the dinosaur again. Luhan immediately reassumed his role as the baby dragon. "You bad, baby Lu-an," Minseok had the dinosaur recite, a lot less viciously than he'd been talking before. "Daddy give you hug." He mooshed the toys together with all the grace of a typical four year old.
Luhan laughed. "Minseok, would you like to see me some more? I can give you lots of hugs, you know."
"Lu-an come see me here?" Minseok asked, looking at least a slight bit excited by the prospect.
Luhan nodded, his smile back on his face. "If you want me to."
"Yes! Lu-an my friend."
Luhan looked at the clock again, knowing he really had to go. "Luhan has to leave for today, but I'll come see you soon, I promise." He held his arms out for another hug, and Minseok only grudgingly gave one. And despite how much Luhan wanted to stay, he left.
~~~~~
Luhan got to visit with Minseok only once more, for an equally brief time, before he was told the final parts of his application for adoption had been completed and he could take Minseok home with him. When he got the phone call to tell him as much, Luhan nearly cried. He had been trying for years to adopt, and from the moment he'd met Minseok he'd known this was the child he wanted to father. It seemed like all of his hard work, wishing, and praying were finally paying off.
It was an overcast Tuesday morning that Luhan would never forget when the car pulled up in front of his apartment building. A man who introduced himself as Kim Jongdae in fluent Chinese led Minseok out of the car, along with Minseok's single suitcase, and accompanied the boy up to Luhan's apartment.
"The agency is always happy to see children being taken into good homes with such kind parents," Kim Jongdae had told Luhan happily between lots of other statements regarding the adoption. "I've had the chance to spend a lot of time with Minseok, and I'll miss him."
"He'll be in good hands here, if that's any consolation," Luhan had returned.
"I can see that." Jongdae's smile was warm, if a little sad. "He hasn't stopped talking about you since your first visit. I think he'll have the chance to be happy here." Having said that, Jongdae dropped down to Minseok's level to give him a long, tight hug.
"Unca Jongdae~" Minseok protested and squirmed away.
Jongdae had tears in his eyes as he finally released Minseok. "I have to go now, but you can spend time with your friend Luhan now, right?"
"Ah, no! Lu-an friend and unca Jongdae stay here togefther wifth me!"
Jongdae chuckled, cutting his eyes up to Luhan, then back to Minseok. "You'll be fine, cutie pie, maybe we'll see each other again sometime, okay?"
Minseok looked grumpy and turned away from Jongdae. Sighing, Jongdae stood and held a hand out to Luhan, who shook it. "We'll be checking in soon." He ruffled Minseok's hair. "Bye now, cutie pie!"
Minseok just grumbled and stepped out of his reach. With the slightest nod of acceptance, Jongdae took his leave.
Luhan wasn't too pleased that his first moments having officially adopted Minseok were being spent with the boy so grumpy, so he grabbed Minseok's suitcase and offered, "Wanna see your room?"
At that, Minseok seemed to brighten up, his big eyes shining a little as he nodded. Luhan led the way, placing the suitcase down inside of a room with blue and red walls, a racecar bed, a chest full of toys, and a big bureau loaded with clothes all in Minseok's size. Minseok timidly ventured into the middle of the room, eyes wide as he looked around. Finally he looked at Luhan. "My room?" he asked unsurely.
Luhan smiled indulgently. "All yours."
Minseok broke into a wild grin and bounded toward the bed, where he flopped himself down face first. Luhan laughed at the sight, his chest feeling light. He had wondered how long it would take to get to see his son in that bed.
~~~~~
"Whassat?" Minseok was pointing at a billboard.
"That's a billboard," Luhan explained as they walked. "It says you shouldn't use your phone when you drive. You can have an accident and get hurt."
Minseok nodded and continued looking around. The next place his finger swung was in the direction on a sign on a telephone pole. "Whassat?"
"It's an advertisement for a music show tomorrow night," Luhan told him.
"Uh-huh." They continued down the sidewalk, Luhan soaking in the sun and enjoying being out with Minseok. "Whassat?" He pointed at writing in the middle of the road.
"It says 'slow - school' so cars won't go fast, in case there are kids nearby." Luhan would have to get into Chinese lessons with Minseok soon, knowing that as he got older learning the language would become more and more difficult.
Minseok's hand swung around again, and Luhan prepared himself for a walk filled with constant questions, but instead the four year old seemed to lose interest in what he was about to question, suddenly looking down at the ground. "I monster!" he announced with authority, then began stomping with each step. He let out a small roar, clinging harder to Luhan's hand despite the fact that at first he hadn't wanted to hold Luhan's hand at all.
"Is the monster hungry?" Luhan asked.
"Yeah! Yeah! Raaarrrr!" Minseok hopped twice and tossed a grin up at Luhan. "Hungry!"
"Can you say, e?"
"E?" Minseok repeated, not quite replicating the sound but coming close.
"That's 'hungry' in Chinese. Now try, wo hen e."
"Wo hen e." Again Minseok was trying but the pronunciation was off. Luhan didn't worry, though. At four years old he was sure his own pronunciation wasn't the best.
"That means 'I'm hungry'. You can tell me that whenever you need to eat."
"And Lu-an won't be mad?" Minseok asked a little shyly.
It was little offhanded questions like those that always broke Luhan's heart just a little. There was nothing he could do about Minseok's past, but he could make damn sure his future was a good one. "No, I won't get mad when you tell me you're hungry," he assured the little boy. He stopped in front of the street vendor he'd been leading them toward.
"Wo hen e!" Minseok informed the vendor excitedly.
The man chuckled heartily and offered praise to the boy in Chinese, so Minseok just looked at Luhan in confusion, his little brow wrinkled. "He said you're very cute!" Luhan was happy to share, and then he ordered them some bao and led Minseok to a nearby bench to sit and enjoy their lunch. Minseok insisted on climbing onto his seat by himself, and sat a bit away from Luhan.
Minseok accepted one of the dumplings graciously and began nibbling at it neatly. Luhan held one up with a smile and said, "This is what your little cheeks make me think of, Minseok. Pale and round, my little baozi."
Minseok looked at his own dumpling, the side opened to reveal the meat filled interior. "Baozi," he repeated in a melodic voice, then took a big bite of his food.
~~~~~
Minseok always ate neatly. In fact, he was neater even than Luhan, which was quite a feat for a four year old. He made his bed each morning as well, and he never left his toys out. And if ever Luhan made a mess, he found himself being gently reminded to clean up after himself by the toddler.
Luhan tried not to let the neurotic behavior bother him, but he was made acutely aware of the source of his behavior the first time Minseok made a real mess. Minseok, always attempting to be as grown up as possible for such a young child, stood on a chair and poured himself a bowlful of cereal. Then as he attempted to add milk to the bowl, the mostly full gallon fell from his grip and spilled all over the table and floor.
Luhan, having been unaware of what Minseok was attempting on his own, immediately rushed from the bathroom to the kitchen at the sound of the jug falling. At the sight of the milk, he whirled around to grab a towel from the linen closet, then rushed into the kitchen to begin cleaning the mess. "Oh, no!" he lamented, turning the jug up the right way to stop it from spilling anymore. As he continued cleaning up the mess, he looked around for Minseok.
Minseok had curled to the ground with his back pressed to the cabinets on the opposite side of the kitchen, his arms around his knees and his eyes full of fear as he watched Luhan cleaning the milk off the floor. "Bao," Luhan breathed out, abandoning his attempt to mop up the spill and walking over to Minseok. Minseok became visibly more afraid, tensing up further and burying his face against his legs. From his self-protecting cocoon, Luhan could hear him murmuring, "Sorry, sorry sorry, sorry..."
"Hey," Luhan attempted to calm him, dropping down to sit beside him. "Hey, come here." He gently pulled Minseok's arms away from his legs only to find his face tear-streaked. Minseok turned his face away, sniffling, seeming to wait for more to come. But Luhan just tugged Minseok into his lap and hugged him close.
Then Minseok wasn't crying silently anymore, openly sobbing into Luhan's chest and begging, "Don't be mad, I sorry, I sorry!"
"No, no, I'm not mad, baby, it was an accident," Luhan reassured, speaking slowly and quietly as he rocked Minseok back and forth a little, a hand stroking his hair gently. "It's okay, I'm not mad."
They stayed like that for long minutes, Minseok crying until he was completely cried out, and Luhan stroking his hair and back with tender touches. When at last Minseok pulled away to look up at Luhan, he still looked unsure, like Luhan would change his mind at any moment and become the father Minseok had become used to during his first four years of life.
"Minseok, do you know what little boys do when they make messes in this house?" Luhan asked, his fingers running through Minseok's hair.
Minseok sniffled and shook his head.
"They help clean them up. So come on, we've got to get all that milk up before it ruins anything." He carefully guided Minseok from his lap, letting him take his time to stand and make his way back over to the table. Luhan fetched a smaller towel from the linen closet and gave it to Minseok, and together they finished mopping up the spill.
As Luhan used a rag and some cleaner to finish getting rid of the mess, on his hands and knees to reach as far under the table as the milk had traveled, he asked Minseok, "So, how would you like to have some pancakes instead of cereal?"
Unexpectedly, Minseok reached out and hugged Luhan tight around his neck. "Pancakes," he repeated back.
~~~~~
Minseok's fifth birthday was on a Wednesday a little over three months after he'd come to live with Luhan. Though Luhan had planned a small party for the following Saturday with a few of the kids Minseok had tentatively befriended at the nearby kids' park along with their parents, he had decided to give Minseok a small celebration on the actual day of Minseok's birthday with just the two of them.
When Luhan collected Minseok off the school bus after preschool was done for the day, he carried Minseok into the building despite Minseok's protests about being a big boy and being able to walk by himself. Laughing, he set Minseok down so he could climb the stairs up to their floor on his own, telling him, "Well, I guess you really are a big boy, since you're five years old today! Wu means five."
"Wu!" Minseok practically shouted as he reached their floor and rushed into their apartment.
"I've got something for you," Luhan told him, then took his coat and backpack to hang them up and disappeared into the kitchen. When he returned, he offered a small cake to Minseok, telling him, "Dangao."
Minseok eagerly took the plate and brought it to the coffee table, kneeling in front of it. "Dangao~" he sang out.
Luhan followed after him and gave him a fork and spoon. Then he placed a small dish of ice cream beside the plate of cake. "And binqilin."
This time Minseok didn't repeat the Chinese word back, his mouth full of cake, but he did offer an eager nod.
"You can have these today but this Saturday we'll have your friends over, and you'll get more dangao and binqilin then, and they'll each bring you a liwu. Can you guess that word?"
"Liwu," Minseok attempted after he finished his biteful. "Er... it's... a..."
It became clear Minseok wasn't going to guess the word so Luhan finally told him, "Gift!"
"Oh!" Minseok scooped up some ice cream. "Yeah they give me a gifts." He devoured his spoonful of ice cream happily.
"Lots of gifts for my big grown up baozi," Luhan found himself cooing as he knelt behind Minseok and backhugged his tiny figure.
"Lu-an calls me this baozi," Minseok began thoughtfully, "and what I call you?"
"You call me Luhan, right?" Luhan asked, a bit unsure what Minseok meant.
Minseok frowned and licked at his spoon a little, then finally clarified, "My friends say to his daddy... baba."
"Oh! Yes, baba is what someone calls their dad."
Turning a little further to look at Luhan more fully, Minseok smiled and put his tiny hands on Luhan's cheeks. "Baba," he repeated, except this time it was clear that he was labeling Luhan instead of simply learning another bit of Chinese vocabulary, and Luhan's heart soared. Minseok pressed a sticky kiss to Luhan's comparatively un-sticky lips, then turned back to finish his cake and ice cream, completely oblivious to how completely speechless he'd left Luhan.
~~~~~
~~~~~
"Baba!"
Minseok accepted Luhan's hug, chuckling at his overenthusiastic dad.
"Ah, my baozi, where did all our time go?" Luhan asked as he pulled back to look at his fully grown son dressed in his graduation gown.
"Quit being dramatic, baba," Minseok whined, eyes cutting over to the group of boys from his class standing not so far away. But he saw that a few of them were also being attacked by their parents and other family members, so he tried not to be too embarrassed by Luhan's behavior.
"But you were just six years old and starting first year a few days ago, I swear!" Luhan's bottom lip wiggled.
Minseok sighed and hugged his dad again. "It's okay, we still have the summer before I go off to college," he reassured.
"Ah, you better move back here once you're done with all that silly school stuff!" Luhan demanded. "Architect, huh? So many years of schooling, just to draw pictures of buildings..."
"Hey, it's not as easy as you make it sound!" Minseok insisted. "And when you're old and grey and in need of my care you'll be glad I went to school to get a high paying job so I can afford us both!"
Luhan's lip wiggled again. "I know, bao, but I'll miss you."
The nickname had stuck for all these years despite the weight his son had dropped over the last handful of years, leaving him looking less like a baozi and more like an adult with each passing month until the handsome young man ready to start his grown up life stood before him here, tolerating Luhan's clinging though he wouldn't really understand it until he had children of his own.
Luhan took hold of Minseok's face and planted a firm kiss to his cheek, and Minseok blushed and pulled away, insisting, "Ah, my gosh, knock it off!"
Still, a few moments later, Minseok admitted quietly, "I'm gonna miss you too, baba," and even after thirteen years hearing this child who wasn't biologically his but was still his call him that made Luhan's heart feel whole.