(no subject)
And to the real point of this entry:
While I was attempting to read through everybody's thoughts on the book.. I remember reading somewhere that one of you (so sorry, can't remember who! maybe kurla88? reila?) had mentioned that Harry seems as if he hasn't dealt with Sirius's death yet.
While I am in general not good at this type of discussion, I just wanted to give my own thoughts on this. Personally, I was so proud of Harry's reaction and emotions on this. To those of you expecting capslock.. He's not a child anymore. He's woken up to the fact that tantrums aren't going to solve anything.
Shouting was his way of dealing with comparably much less substantial things than the loss of a loved one. He could get out his aggression and frustration. But Sirius? No. That is something much deeper. Maybe you're right, that Harry hasn't fully dealt with it yet. But who would? The fans have had years to process this. When we first meet Harry, he's only had two weeks. As someone who's had roughly the same time period to deal with the loss of a close relative.. I can tell you that it's not easy. And maybe I haven't fully dealt with it yet. But I have dealt with it, as much as possibly in such a small amount of time. Something like that takes a long, long time to deal with. Possibly years.
I see my own experience in Harry's, a little bit at least. JKR does explain how hard it hit Harry at first. He could tell Dumbledore understood, that he might even suspect that until his letter arrived, Harry had spent nearly all his time at the Dursleys' lying on his bed, refusing meals, and staring at the misted window, full of the cill emptiness that he had come to associate with dementors.
At first, that's all there is. Just emptiness. It's remarkably painful for the first day or few days. Loss of appetite. Lack of desire to do anything physical, really. Things like that. That's exactly what Harry did, lying on his bed day after day. And sometimes there are days you can wake up and live life just as you had before, without even remembering it. And then something little happens. For Harry, maybe looking up to see an owl at the window, and thinking the same thought he had probably had dozens of times before: I hope it's a letter from Sirius!. And then that's when you get that jolt. He's never going to get another owl from Sirius. When he admitted that thought to Dumbledore though.. that's a huge, HUGE step. He's not just bottling it up inside, he's not refusing to talk about it. He took that step, and actively confided in Dumbledore to admit that he is feeling the loss of Sirius hard.
And it's hard to get out of that state he was in previously, unless you're with people who understand (aka, NOT the dursleys). Or unless you're forced into action. Like receiving a letter from someone, asking you to pack and move somewhere else for the summer. It gave Harry a reason to get up, jolt himself back into life.
It was a good thing. Getting up, reading that letter.. Realizing that life goes on. Harry had his time to mourn, to reflect. Being the amazing kid he is, he's already able to see the road ahead of him.
But while I was at the Dursleys'..." interrupted Harry, his voice growing stronger, "I realized I can't shut myself away or --- crack up. Sirius wouldn't have wanted that, would he? And anyway, lfe's too short ... It could be me next, couldn't it? But if it is," he said fiercely, now looking straight into Dumbledore's blue eyes gleaming in the wandlight, "I'll make sure I take as many Death Eaters with me as I can, and Voldemort too if I can manage it."
*tear* :o) Yup.. Harry's going to be just fine.
Okay, it's about my bedtime, so I'm going to end this now. Might edit later with other thoughts.. or you know, think of a good excuse if I wake up in the morning and decide it was a stupid idea to post this. :o)
ETA: COMPLETELY RANDOM THOUGHTS OF THE DAY
1 -Does everyone remember the argument that Dumbledore and Snape had had? I doubt JKR would have mentioned it unless it was important, knowing how so many would jump to conclusions immediately. Now, I'm not exactly sure what Snape was telling Dumbledore he took for granted.. and what exactly Snape was tired of.. but what if it was Snape talking to Dumbledore about his Unbreakable Vow with Narcissa? That would certainly lead to an argument of a large sort.. and I don't know. I just want to think that Dumbledore knew about Snape's Vow and that he understood that Snape had to do it.
2 - Haha. Was reading about Remus/Tonks and how Remus never stated that he loved her back. I need to go back and reread it, but wasn't he avoiding eye contact with everyone? Clearly he was trying not to convey his thought that he was all like, OMFG U L0ZERRR, I AM LIEK SO TOO TOTALLY GAY 4 UUU!
Young is so the new code for "you have a VAG."
3 - Okay. It has been clearly stated by JKR (as heard from other people telling me, as I hardly ever keep up with the countless interviews and whatnot) that student must be 11 years old before starting Hogwarts. So Hermione practically at the start of sixth year. Does it not seem weird to anyone else how, even through the talk of wizards coming "of age" at 17.. that Hermione never came up? Plus, it kind of sucks for the students who are also older than the rest of the year, because they have to wait months and months to take the apparition test. Do you think it's possible for students to take the test outside of Hogwarts? I would hope so.. otherwise how long do you have to wait to take the test again? Hopefully not a full year! Also.. JKR doesn't usually mention other birthdays besides Harry's, yet she mentions Ron's birthday here.. why not Hermione's?
4 - did JKR really already state that there would be no Neville/Luna? Because seriously AW. They would be adorable. Can I dye my eyebrows to match yours, wtf. Awesome.
5 - Umm.. somehow the ESPY awards that I was watching somehow turned into two huge women in some sort of competition where they have to saw lots of wood AND OMG SHE HAS LIKE AN EIGHT FOOT SAW-ING LIKE DEVICE, WTF.
6. Zombies. WTF, flist. I am seriously shocked at how many of you guys love this. Lol, that's fine, I knew you were all twisted. Just in case you missed my last post however, I would like to warn you not to speak of it directly to me, unless you'd like to cause a panic attack, kthxbai.
7. I'm kind of bugged by the whole "ordeal" over Blaise. Are people assuming that because he's black he still can't be pretty or something? He can even still be an Italian. There are many, many, many beautiful black men all across the world.
8. Also, I love alcoholic!Harry. Can I plzplzplz see a scene in Book 7 of the trio getting good and smashed at a pub or something? Awesome.
9. Um. Don't hate me, but I completely JUST realized why everybody loved the fact that Slughorn called Ron "Rupert." Until now, I was like um, it's his name?
Contrary to my idiotic self, Ron is NOT a nickname for Rupert.. HAHA, I'm so slow sometimes. :o)