this old lady was turtle-walking right in the middle of the road today so i was driving at literally 3 mph just like tailgating her. but old people cant hear and i didnt want to swerve around her because it was kind of amusing. so i followed her for about a block and when she turned the corner i saw she was wearing oven mitts! it was so cute! she ( Read more... )

These are some exerpts from 5600 jokes for all ages at the library

Why do people call you "Amazon"?
Because your so wide at the mouth

Do you know what a papoose is? its the last car ona freight train

ill never forget the time an indian was scalping my grandfather and they discovered he had a toupe

oh damn the period is over!

my dad got plastered today while we were decorating the tree. t'was amazing ( Read more... )

party for my new jobs! party for money ( Read more... )

veronica chan- after we had our conversation about livejournals and posting ive been in the mood to just write something. this one's for you ( Read more... )

Elena was my roomate. today she held a gun to my head and made me type an entry about her. i really thought she was going to blow my brains out even though she lives in california. im too gullible, i shouldnt have listened to her ( Read more... )

I feel like updating because its been too long, old journal ( Read more... )

so we saw stephanie and christine in salvation army today, that was a big kick. and i hurt myself so badly while trying to impress two different people today! first, when me and hilary were playing with matches. second, when i was trying to show stephanie the breakfast club movie which was in my bag. that left emotional scarring ( Read more... )

my mom sucks

right now my tomagotchi has no name. it's evolved one whole stage already and it looks like a blob with four pixels that sort of make a beak.so far things arent looking so good... it shits everywhere, it eats too much, it blobs around all over the place, and i have a feeling it will turn into the ugly worm in the end. i think all health classes ( Read more... )