Title: Forgive Me Author: mimi_oly Rating: NC-17 (for theme, explicit sexual content) Pairing/Focus: Onew/Key Squick/trigger warnings: Issues of consent and control relating to sex.
Ahhhhh so I guess I have to find words to end this lovely fic experience with.
So one of the things that left the biggest impression on me is how you definitely (despite all the fluffy feelings etc) didn't write the smut through rose-colored glasses. I love that Jinki and Kibum were acting like these horny teenagers, so eager having just lost their virginity to experience it again. They go from controlled to rushed like they can't get enough of each other and this was just super hot all around. I liked the breaks for conversation and confessions, the way they were still figuring everything out between them, still nervous, but so ready. I think that adds to the sense of realism as well.
“Please,” Kibum implored. That was when Jinki realized that Kibum had either given up or simply lost control of their game. With one word, he had handed himself over to Jinki’s care, trusting that the older man would continue pretending to follow orders.This section was so great. If I loved the role reversal in part one, this was even better. I was
( ... )
Thank you soooo much for being so sweet and thoughtful. It's rewarding to get feedback on specifics. I know sometimes I just have to leave a "fans self" "great story" comment after I read, so I truly appreciate knowing what works for a reader. Sometimes I write for myself, but sometimes I feel more "commercial, " wanting to please a particular audience.
It's great to have another partner in this big old mutual admiration society!
You're so welcome! I got really excited/happy while reading this and I think a lot of it was the characterizations, it just made me say a lot of "yes" and "cute!" etc. Totally deserved a long comment <3
Whether this was to please you or everyone else, it made my night, so well done (:
Comments 41
So one of the things that left the biggest impression on me is how you definitely (despite all the fluffy feelings etc) didn't write the smut through rose-colored glasses. I love that Jinki and Kibum were acting like these horny teenagers, so eager having just lost their virginity to experience it again. They go from controlled to rushed like they can't get enough of each other and this was just super hot all around. I liked the breaks for conversation and confessions, the way they were still figuring everything out between them, still nervous, but so ready. I think that adds to the sense of realism as well.
“Please,” Kibum implored. That was when Jinki realized that Kibum had either given up or simply lost control of their game. With one word, he had handed himself over to Jinki’s care, trusting that the older man would continue pretending to follow orders.This section was so great. If I loved the role reversal in part one, this was even better. I was ( ... )
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It's great to have another partner in this big old mutual admiration society!
Reply
Whether this was to please you or everyone else, it made my night, so well done (:
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