Somebody's Heartbreak (5/?)
Not exactly an update? =x
Hi, I am a horrible person. I apologize for things being so touch and go. Things just got super hectic because life is life. I know this plot is like, wtf, but we are going to get there, I promise. Progress is coming. I'm currently finishing up another chapter. I am not going to leave you for another ten years. I am so sorry LOL.
Summer break is coming up. Jongin curses the hot weather. It is so hot he can’t even think of moving. Summer vacation means home. He has never looked forward to being with his family. Last summer he went home with Kyungsoo and convinced the older boy to go on a trip just the two of them, but this year he doesn’t think Kyungsoo would want to go anywhere with him.
.
“Why would I take you home? I don’t even know you.”
“I’m hurt,” Jongin clutched his chest, “We’ve been roommates for a whole year.”
“So? You could be a serial killer for all I know.”
“The faith you have in people, hyung.”
.
“You can go to China with me,” Luhan offers.
Jongin considers it, “Is Sehun going?”
“Well, yeah.”
“Then no way, I don’t want to be with you two for that long.”
Sehun kicks his chair, “Fine. Go home and see if you can still come back sane.”
Jongin flips Sehun off just because he can.
.
He does end up going home. The drive up to his parents’ home is not that far, Jongin takes that time to down a bottle of soju in the back of the taxi. He ignores the disgruntled look the elderly driver gives him, because better drunk than sober when it comes to his family.
Jongin’s phone sounds a text alert when he is ten minutes away from the house. It’s from his mom. He scoffs at the message, he hasn’t expected anything less from her. His dad is waiting for him by the door, though, smiling as he helps Jongin unloads the last of his luggage; they settle Jongin into his old room before settling down at the kitchen table.
“How is everything?” His dad asks, pouring Jongin a glass of juice. “Your mom is out on errands, she should be back soon. She really wanted to be here.”
“I know,” Jongin pretends his mom had really wanted to be home for him. “I got her text.”
“Good, good.”
His dad has gotten skinnier, cheeks carved out by the years. There are deep wrinkles in his forehead and around his mouth. His dad has never been a talker, so they sit in silence, enjoying each other’s company.
.
Jongin retires to his room after a quick dinner. His mom hasn’t returned. He doesn’t expect her to until tomorrow morning anyways. The house is so still, it’s deafening. Their house has always been quiet because his dad is always working in his study and his mom is rarely around. Kyungsoo’s house had been noisy that summer, people were always going in and out - Kyungsoo’s brother and his girlfriend, Kyungsoo’s mom nagging them to not waste the whole day away, Kyungsoo’s dad pouring them both drinks and pestering them for stories about school.
Jongin tries to not think about it. The silence is a bitter aftertaste to all the memories playing in his mind. So he takes out his phone and calls the only person who understands.
.
“She isn’t home,” Jongin leans against his bed frame, cellphone between his ear and shoulder.
“Hey, don’t think about her,” Kyungsoo’s voice is soft on the other side. “Just spend time with your dad, you know he misses you.”
“He must’ve been so lonely.”
“You’re there now, Jongin. He has you.”
.
It was during one of their quiet nights, when the conversations were in hushed whispers and the room was too dark to see each other’s faces. They were in Kyungsoo’s childhood room and Jongin had felt so overwhelmed by the entire family; and something broke. He couldn’t stop talking.
He told Kyungsoo about his mom. She had raised him out of duty more than love, always leaving him with relatives whenever she could; when she couldn’t, she would take him with her, to various love hotels where she had her hookups. He sat outside the door while he waited, innocence chipping away as the clock ticked. His dad had been there, of course, but there was really no substitute when he was sick and only wanted to be in his mom’s embrace. She was always dressed elegantly and it wasn’t until later when he realized it was for her multiple love affairs.
They lost a lot of money - somehow. It was so long ago he couldn’t remember the details. And her cold indifference turned into bitter regret. There were so many fights, so many moments when Jongin had to hide at the neighbors’. Jongin could have overlooked it all. He wasn’t the first kid to grow up in such a family.
It wasn’t until he entered high school and started becoming popular that things really changed. He had joined the soccer team and his teammates were always hanging around the house. And then it happened and Jongin had felt something shifted in him that day.
“I walked in on her and my friend,” He sneered. “And I realized that was the reason all those guys hung around the house.”
By now Kyungsoo had reached for his hand and held on tight. Jongin took a deep breath.
“Later I asked my dad how he could just ignore it.”
“He loves her,” Kyungsoo mumbled. “Despite everything.”
Jongin wasn’t surprised. Kyungsoo, of all people, understood loving someone under the worst of circumstances. “Yeah, he still loves her. And love makes people weak.”
.
That was when Jongin had first realized it, Kyungsoo’s feelings. It isn’t long after that night that Kyungsoo told him he’s gay - that he has always known but nothing between them would be different. Jongin doesn’t have to room with him the next year, but he just wants that out in the open if they are going to be continue to be roommates.
“I just think of you as a friend.” But that was so obviously a lie when Kyungsoo’s cheeks and the tips of his nose are such a bright red. “I’m not going to make any demands or anything.”
And Jongin had kissed him nothing like a friend and wished he make some demands.
.
“I could sing to you,” Kyungsoo says quietly. “It’ll help you sleep.”
Jongin’s thoughts drift back to the present, to Kyungsoo still on the other side of the phone, breathing slowly against his ears.
“I’m glad…that you picked up,” Jongin says instead, “Thank you.”
“Of course, Jongin,” He can hear Kyungsoo’s smile.
“Will you sing now?”
.
Jongin checks his phone the next morning and deletes his recent messages. He goes back to sleep with a bitter taste in his mouth; he debates sending a car or a taxi to the bar but he figures his mom will get home somehow.
Jongin, I tried waiting for you but it took too long. Dad’s home.
Jongin-ah, could you pick mom up.
Your mom is passed out at our bar, please call this number back as soon as you get this message.
Wowwww, I am really sorry for being gone for so so so so long. This is a glimpse of Jongin's home life. I hope you enjoy. All kaisoo moments will resume in future chapters.