re: a few days ago.
So, you guys remember a few days ago when I posted about my facebook jousting with my family. I received a letter via facebook from my Aunt Mary about it.
Here it is in it's entirety:
"Lauran... I am very shocked and saddened by the rantings of your girlfriend. Because of her personal experiences she comes off as a very angry, bitter person who pushes her own agenda into conversations, turning them into personal attacks, basically calling anyone who disagrees with her narrow minded and ignorant. Everyone has personal experiences that are life-changing, but none of us has the right to tell another that their experience and/or opinion is invalid. What this is accomplishing is just alienation of your family. and I am sorry that she is doing this to you. For me & Uncle Phil, we cannot and will not come to your wedding. After discussing this latest tirade of hers, we have decided that we cannot participate in something we do not support. I hope you have a nice life with her."
My Aunt is not the sort of person who is used to having people disagree with her or hers - she's white, well off, republican, and religious. The 'tirade' in question was in response to a post my cousin amanda made on my 'I'm thankful for...' Post, which basically was 'hey, isn't the fact that we're going to live long, enriched lives due to science awesome?'
Amanda brought politics, god, and bad grammar to it, and Moredena pulled out the rusty chainsaw. Mary followed up with a pithy quote, a comment about how she would 'pray for us', and the above note.
I took time and careful consideration as I replied. It is as follows:
"Actually, we interpreted Amanda's reply as somewhat along the same lines. My post was only about something I was thankful for - Amanda was the one who brought politics and religion into it.
I was a bit surprised jenn took it as far as she did. She has had certain experiences that shaped her beliefs that are different than my own (and most people in our country), and she rarely shares them, let alone publically.
I think you are being too quick to judge - this is text, lacking emotion and inflection in the quality of spoken word. It's easier for one to get their blood up. You've not met her in person, but you're willing to quantify her as a cynical tyrant.
I know, I can see this in your replies and in this note, that the issue of the 'influence' she's having on me is on your mind, likely in the field of spirituality. I know the core of this is an issue of religion and faith. Perhaps I should come clean with you here, and in perhaps more depth than you are comfortable with.
I've been various forms of atheist/agnostic (the real difference being that an agnostic is atheist writ respectable) since I was about 16-17 or so. As you know, I used to be in the faith - not as a child (no child is a 'christian child' or 'muslim child' - they are simply children of religious parents), but as a teenager. You also know my penchant for devouring literary material as well as for asking questions while searching for the inter-relationships in anything - this relentless pursuit of knowledge and synthesis into an overall picture did my faith in before I got out of high school. I came to these conclusions years before I met Jenn. The funny part here is that she is a more spiritual person than I, she was raised russian orthodox catholocism and a lot of that 'sticks' to a person.
I won't go into my reasons, but I assure you by and large I came to this through study and introspection of religious, secular, and scientific texts. To put it one way that I think sums it up simply: "why gild refined gold? Why paint the lilly? The world is so gloriously complex and beautiful; from the dancing of electrons, to the symphony of chemistry, to the subtle sculpture of biology, to the silent and breathtaking theatre of the universe."
I know I can't change your opinions and vice-versa; for all this discussion we might as well been back before any of us said a single thing the other disagreed with. I know that you're not used to having someone disagree with you as soundly as I have over these last few days. Most importantly, and perhaps tantamount to anything I've said in this entire correspondence, is that you guys are my family and I love you. No amount of squabbling over the conclusions we've come to through personal experience changes any of that.
You are still family, and as such my bonds to you and yours are stronger than a few strong words can sunder. No matter what exchanges we have, I still love you."
*shrugs* I don't get it. How does my talking (even if I was a jerk about the invisible sky magician) alienate me, but her refusual to acknowlege a celebration of family come as a moral standing?
Here it is in it's entirety:
"Lauran... I am very shocked and saddened by the rantings of your girlfriend. Because of her personal experiences she comes off as a very angry, bitter person who pushes her own agenda into conversations, turning them into personal attacks, basically calling anyone who disagrees with her narrow minded and ignorant. Everyone has personal experiences that are life-changing, but none of us has the right to tell another that their experience and/or opinion is invalid. What this is accomplishing is just alienation of your family. and I am sorry that she is doing this to you. For me & Uncle Phil, we cannot and will not come to your wedding. After discussing this latest tirade of hers, we have decided that we cannot participate in something we do not support. I hope you have a nice life with her."
My Aunt is not the sort of person who is used to having people disagree with her or hers - she's white, well off, republican, and religious. The 'tirade' in question was in response to a post my cousin amanda made on my 'I'm thankful for...' Post, which basically was 'hey, isn't the fact that we're going to live long, enriched lives due to science awesome?'
Amanda brought politics, god, and bad grammar to it, and Moredena pulled out the rusty chainsaw. Mary followed up with a pithy quote, a comment about how she would 'pray for us', and the above note.
I took time and careful consideration as I replied. It is as follows:
"Actually, we interpreted Amanda's reply as somewhat along the same lines. My post was only about something I was thankful for - Amanda was the one who brought politics and religion into it.
I was a bit surprised jenn took it as far as she did. She has had certain experiences that shaped her beliefs that are different than my own (and most people in our country), and she rarely shares them, let alone publically.
I think you are being too quick to judge - this is text, lacking emotion and inflection in the quality of spoken word. It's easier for one to get their blood up. You've not met her in person, but you're willing to quantify her as a cynical tyrant.
I know, I can see this in your replies and in this note, that the issue of the 'influence' she's having on me is on your mind, likely in the field of spirituality. I know the core of this is an issue of religion and faith. Perhaps I should come clean with you here, and in perhaps more depth than you are comfortable with.
I've been various forms of atheist/agnostic (the real difference being that an agnostic is atheist writ respectable) since I was about 16-17 or so. As you know, I used to be in the faith - not as a child (no child is a 'christian child' or 'muslim child' - they are simply children of religious parents), but as a teenager. You also know my penchant for devouring literary material as well as for asking questions while searching for the inter-relationships in anything - this relentless pursuit of knowledge and synthesis into an overall picture did my faith in before I got out of high school. I came to these conclusions years before I met Jenn. The funny part here is that she is a more spiritual person than I, she was raised russian orthodox catholocism and a lot of that 'sticks' to a person.
I won't go into my reasons, but I assure you by and large I came to this through study and introspection of religious, secular, and scientific texts. To put it one way that I think sums it up simply: "why gild refined gold? Why paint the lilly? The world is so gloriously complex and beautiful; from the dancing of electrons, to the symphony of chemistry, to the subtle sculpture of biology, to the silent and breathtaking theatre of the universe."
I know I can't change your opinions and vice-versa; for all this discussion we might as well been back before any of us said a single thing the other disagreed with. I know that you're not used to having someone disagree with you as soundly as I have over these last few days. Most importantly, and perhaps tantamount to anything I've said in this entire correspondence, is that you guys are my family and I love you. No amount of squabbling over the conclusions we've come to through personal experience changes any of that.
You are still family, and as such my bonds to you and yours are stronger than a few strong words can sunder. No matter what exchanges we have, I still love you."
*shrugs* I don't get it. How does my talking (even if I was a jerk about the invisible sky magician) alienate me, but her refusual to acknowlege a celebration of family come as a moral standing?