千の夜を越えて
Title: 千の夜を越えて
Pairing: Kris/Suho
Genre: Angst
Rating: PG
Summary: Holding on is tough. Much tougher than letting go or simply quitting.
You left me at the edge of the cliff
You were supposed to fall with me
We were supposed to fall together
Yifan reaches for his cup of coffee with shaky hands, cold and sweaty, his fingers unsteadily wrapping around the handle while its contents spilling over the platter. He sees it but he tries to ignore the warm liquid that touches his hands, unconscious of how it burns on his skin.
“That’s why I don’t want to do this,” Junmyeon speaks, his voice drowning, but he never looks at Yifan. He keeps his eyes to his side instead. “I don’t want to see this.”
The words come out with finality.
Junmyeon has told it before, one night right after his birthday, sending Yifan a message of how he wants to end things without seeing the other hurting. But Yifan insists talking; closure is better when it’s personal. The other is hesitant but Yifan wants it. Yifan wants it because he still hopes that this closure could become something else, like chance, like something that must be left to keep them steady, totally ignoring the highest possibility of it never happening again.
Yifan has held onto this hope quite tightly that when everything has happened completely the opposite of what he really wanted, everything comes crashing on him. He tries to pull the part of his self which expects this will finally come to an end but he fails because in full honesty, he believes in the unlikely.
“You promised…”
Junmyeon trails off, slowly looking at Yifan . He turns in an agonizingly slow way, his eyes expressing regret with a tinge of guilt. You promised you wouldn’t cry. Yifan remembers. He has said yes, he remembers but he cannot care much about it right now. He wishes he is rational enough to think of how he can use what Junmyeon feels to reverse everything.
“Don’t cry, hyung.”
The push on his chest is heavy. It’s heavy for Junmyeon; heavier for Yifan. He hates how the other sounds like he has been ready to end things as if it is part of the plan. He hates how he has not foreseen this. No, he will never see this because he thinks Junmyeon will be the end.
This is never part of the plan.
“Don’t do this.”
Yifan pleads, and he drops the cup on his platter, oblivious of the loud sound of the contact. He waits for an answer. He wants to hear something else…
“I…”
“Please.”
…like Junmyeon taking his words back.
But when it came time for us to fall
I took a step closer to the edge, ready
And you took a step back, unsure and confused
“I’m sorry.”
Junmyeon reaches for Yifan’s hand, squeezing it gently.
"I need you."
“I’m really sorry.”
You aren’t. Yifan opens his mouth but words are not coming out. The younger turns his back and the sound of the chimes brings Yifan out of his empty reverie, a painful one yet something he wishes he could still be in until he feels nothing. The tears roll down and he gulps for air. He attempts to keep himself strong when he is in fact shattering to pieces. He fails.
Yifan hates goodbyes. They hurt so much.
You left me at the edge falling alone
Falling for you alone
Falling in love with something that has fallen out of love
Notes:
1. Title means "Over A Thousand Nights", a song by Aqua Timez.
2. I fail angst. I am really sorry.
3. The quotes are from a photo I found somewhere, slightly modified it though.
4. This is so embarrassing dead gone bye
Pairing: Kris/Suho
Genre: Angst
Rating: PG
Summary: Holding on is tough. Much tougher than letting go or simply quitting.
You left me at the edge of the cliff
You were supposed to fall with me
We were supposed to fall together
Yifan reaches for his cup of coffee with shaky hands, cold and sweaty, his fingers unsteadily wrapping around the handle while its contents spilling over the platter. He sees it but he tries to ignore the warm liquid that touches his hands, unconscious of how it burns on his skin.
“That’s why I don’t want to do this,” Junmyeon speaks, his voice drowning, but he never looks at Yifan. He keeps his eyes to his side instead. “I don’t want to see this.”
The words come out with finality.
Junmyeon has told it before, one night right after his birthday, sending Yifan a message of how he wants to end things without seeing the other hurting. But Yifan insists talking; closure is better when it’s personal. The other is hesitant but Yifan wants it. Yifan wants it because he still hopes that this closure could become something else, like chance, like something that must be left to keep them steady, totally ignoring the highest possibility of it never happening again.
Yifan has held onto this hope quite tightly that when everything has happened completely the opposite of what he really wanted, everything comes crashing on him. He tries to pull the part of his self which expects this will finally come to an end but he fails because in full honesty, he believes in the unlikely.
“You promised…”
Junmyeon trails off, slowly looking at Yifan . He turns in an agonizingly slow way, his eyes expressing regret with a tinge of guilt. You promised you wouldn’t cry. Yifan remembers. He has said yes, he remembers but he cannot care much about it right now. He wishes he is rational enough to think of how he can use what Junmyeon feels to reverse everything.
“Don’t cry, hyung.”
The push on his chest is heavy. It’s heavy for Junmyeon; heavier for Yifan. He hates how the other sounds like he has been ready to end things as if it is part of the plan. He hates how he has not foreseen this. No, he will never see this because he thinks Junmyeon will be the end.
This is never part of the plan.
“Don’t do this.”
Yifan pleads, and he drops the cup on his platter, oblivious of the loud sound of the contact. He waits for an answer. He wants to hear something else…
“I…”
“Please.”
…like Junmyeon taking his words back.
But when it came time for us to fall
I took a step closer to the edge, ready
And you took a step back, unsure and confused
“I’m sorry.”
Junmyeon reaches for Yifan’s hand, squeezing it gently.
"I need you."
“I’m really sorry.”
You aren’t. Yifan opens his mouth but words are not coming out. The younger turns his back and the sound of the chimes brings Yifan out of his empty reverie, a painful one yet something he wishes he could still be in until he feels nothing. The tears roll down and he gulps for air. He attempts to keep himself strong when he is in fact shattering to pieces. He fails.
Yifan hates goodbyes. They hurt so much.
You left me at the edge falling alone
Falling for you alone
Falling in love with something that has fallen out of love
Notes:
1. Title means "Over A Thousand Nights", a song by Aqua Timez.
2. I fail angst. I am really sorry.
3. The quotes are from a photo I found somewhere, slightly modified it though.
4. This is so embarrassing dead gone bye