Fairest of Them All; Kai/Sulli (1/2)
Not a day goes by where Choi Jinri is happy with herself.
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A fairy tale is, by definition, something that denotes of magical, idealized happiness. It is a story of bliss, of happily ever after’s.
There are many different kinds of fairy tales, spanning and shifting and shuffling from the many people that want their very own tale of magic and happiness.
Not every girl wishes for a fairy tale, but in this case- Choi Jinri definitely does.
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Not a day goes by where Choi Jinri feels happy with herself.
Choi Jinri wishes she lived in a perfectly ideal life; she wishes for a life with mundane parents, an average education, and normal talents. She wishes for a completely ordinary life, filled with the most boring and flat line of events that she could live out with her peaceful, long, and everyday life.
This is her wish, her fairytale that she dreams and writes up in her mind, never to actually be written down and brought into this world in a physical form.
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Choi Jinri will never get that fairytale.
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This is not a fairytale with a prince that saves a damsel in distress, a beautifully idealistic romance, or any happily ever after’s.
This is a story of a small crush that turns into sincere love, a tale that serves as a reminder that things may not be what they seem, and a way to remember that one must seize the day and live life to its fullest before it’s too late.
This is Choi Jinri’s story.
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This story has three key players, all of whom will never be the same after this story reaches the end.
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Choi Jinri lives the completely ordinary life of someone with famous parents; she goes to school quietly, has only one really good friend named Jung Soojung, and never kicks up a fuss about anything, really.
She looks perfectly content in all aspects of her life.
No one else is the wiser.
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Kim Jongin lives his life to the fullest- he makes sure of it. To seize the moment and to do whatever it is that must be done- that is what he’ll do.
Because to him, every instance is special.
With that in mind, that is how he lives life.
And how he will live life until the day he dies.
-
Jung Soojung is Choi Jinri’s best friend.
She’s the artsy one, the one that goes by the paintbrush, the one that has known Choi Jinri since she was just five years old.
Soojung is also the one that always knows much more than anyone is willing to give her credit for.
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Choi Jinri, Kim Jongin, and Jung Soojung all have one thing in common, with that one thing being their very exclusive arts high school.
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This is the start.
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The perks of going to an art-focused high school is that the school made sure to keep the art students both happy and competitive about their work.
It is an environment that bleeds rivalry under the pretense of supporting one another. It’s true. that while friends are made and encouragement is done, when the monthly showcases arrive, it’s every artist for themselves to get their work on the wall.
Because art is not an extracurricular to the students that go here; instead, it is a way of life, a certain passion.
It is, Jongin supposes, an art school thing.
And with that thing in mind, Jongin walks towards the monthly art gallery exhibition for the sake of seeing his own work displayed.
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The gallery is set up in a way that has sculptures, drawings, photographs, and paintings all organized into different sections in one huge auditorium. As luck would have it for Jongin, the section he cares about is at the furthest end of the auditorium.
That’s what he puts his blame on- the farness, of course.
Because Jongin doesn’t even make it past the first section.
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Jongin strides through the auditorium with a goal in mind; he is halfway across the combined paintings and sculptures section with the intention of bypassing it all.
He’s not one for paintings and sculptures, with all of his attention being focused on photographs.
Jongin knows little about the different types of brushes and the oils and paints and blocks of marble; his art lies behind a camera lens, with the ability to capture a moment in an instant.
So he is not one to immerse himself in things not related to photography- and with this mindset, he moves to power walk past all sections until he sees the work of a camera.
But something catches his attention in passing, which is strange in itself.
It’s a painting, and a portrait at that. The colors are vivid and the face is one that jumps out at him. He would say it called out to him, if he were in a more poetic mood.
Jongin finds himself walking towards the work, inspecting it with a thoughtful hum.
“It’s a gorgeous painting,” Jongin finds himself saying out loud. It’s a personal opinion; the overall result of the painting is, by all of Jongin’s knowledge, a beautiful one. The careful brush strokes and the quality of the paint coupled with the obvious skill of the painter made full use of the model, resulting in a stunning portrait.
But the skill level in itself is not why Jongin considers it gorgeous.
Because for every portrait, there must be a model.
And the model in this painting stuns with her red, kissable lips, pale skin, luscious hair, and a smile beyond compare. The eyes are definitely striking, with the orbs forming perfect little moon crescents.
Beautiful, indeed.
He stares a little longer at the painting, focusing solely on the smile he sees before him.
But the longer he stares, the more he feels a digging kind of sensation in his mind- like he is supposed to know who this is.
“You like it?” he hears a voice ask. “My best friend inspired it.” Jongin whirls around to see a girl standing besides him, also admiring the work. He rightfully assumes that this is the painter and he nods, going back to looking at the work of art.
“Yeah?” Jongin murmurs. He’s still looking at the painting. “It’s nice, kind of gives off a Snow White feel.”
Jongin knows this person as Jung Soojung; he hasn’t talked to her much, but he knows that she’s active in the arts. He doesn’t really know why he’s striking a conversation- but maybe it’s because he wants to know more about the painting that looks like it’s staring into his soul.
Soojung looks surprised, to say the least. She fights back a little smile and asks in the politest way possible, “How so?”
Jongin stays quiet, mulling over why he said so. It was more of a slip of the tongue, if anything. “It was the first fairytale princess to come to mind,” he sheepishly admits. But now that he has said it, he can’t get the related imagery out of mind.
Pale skin as white as snow, lips as red as blood, and hair as dark as ebony.
Jongin feels like he’s looking at a princess- and he has the shame to actually blush at the thought.
Soojung hums thoughtfully at the small response she had been given. “Well, if you don’t mind me asking, what else do you think about the painting?”
Jongin looks at that bright smile and says the most instinctive thought he has. “She looks happy.”
Soojung can’t fight her smile this time.
And then Jongin hears a dry chuckle coming from the other side of him, with a new person making her own commentary. Why she does it, Jongin’s not sure. "The funny thing about paintings is that you never actually know what's going on in a painting, because in the end, it's all speculation."
Jongin blinks in confusion at the speaker because- wait a minute- her eyes are bright, with soft lips and pale skin and-
It clicks.
Oh. This is Soojung’s best friend. The muse for this painting.
No wonder the person in the painting looked familiar- he’s gone to school with her for years. Choi Jinri.
Now it makes sense.
But he has never seen her smile so openly and brightly, like in the painting, in all the years that he’s known her. He looks at the painting and then looks back at Choi Jinri; there’s disbelief written all over his face.
Jinri sighs at the look of disbelief before turning to look at her best friend. With a soft smile, Jinri says an affectionate, “But good work, Soojung.”
Soojung beams at the compliment. “Why thank you, Jinri.”
“It barely looks like me though,” Jinri teases airily, the underlying tone of playfulness barely noticeable to Jongin.
When Jinri teases Soojung, Jongin thinks he sees a hint of the brightness that Soojung has captured through paint.
“Hey, take that back! I painted you in perfect likeness!” Soojung complains, hands on her hips and mouth twisted into a scowl.
All Jinri gives a toothy little grin to her best friend, refusing to say another word; she moves to leave, but suddenly remembers Jongin’s existence. She blinks at him, surprised, as if she thought he had already gone.
So she gives a polite smile to Jongin, and then turns to leave. Within seconds, it was like she was never there in the first place.
Jongin can’t help but feel a little offset by the cold reaction. “What’s her problem?”
Soojung gives him a mysterious smile, only bothering to say a sentence that only serves to further Jongin’s confusion. “There’s always a story behind a painting if you’re willing to look deep enough.”
Jongin can tell that there’s a cryptic meaning behind her words and that she’s giving him a hint of sorts but- “I don’t get it.” He doesn’t get where she’s playing at, why she’s telling him in the first place. He’s not one to typically care.
“Neither does she,” Soojung says, simply and with a hint of exasperation.
But now Jongin is interested.
-
Jongin keeps that interest up until he manages to see Choi Jinri once more.
He finds himself at the school library, needing one last source for his critical analysis essay on the different styles of writing.
His mission is, simply put, to get in and out.
But of course, he is stopped once more; he already has the book in hand- but there Choi Jinri is, sitting at a table with a book propped open.
There is a concentrated look on her face, with her pursed lips and drawn eyebrows. If Jongin were to guess, he’d say that she even looks a little frustrated.
There is absolutely no hint to the bright smile that had been painted for all to see by Soojung. In fact, he has never seen that hint of a smile- hell, he didn’t even know Choi Jinri could even smile before he had seen that painting.
It has acted as an eye-opener, of sorts.
But even still, smiling or not, Jongin realizes one thing very quickly as he discreetly watches her; he takes a seat at the table across from Jinri’s own study table. With eyes trained to notice the little things, he can’t help but find that Jinri has something very special about her.
And it is that there’s a sort of timeless beauty to her, a type of beauty that is undeniable. Just by giving a once-over to her face, it’s obvious.
All Jongin can do is sit and stare at Jinri- who is doing nothing but just sitting there, quietly and peacefully.
She has a type of soft prettiness to her that begs to be displayed, to have songs written in her name, to fall in love with.
She is someone who inspires- and he, as an artist, is always looking to be inspired.
That is the thought that encourages him, that makes him stride across the library and pull up a chair next to Choi Jinri.
“Hi,” he whispers. It’s a library, after all.
He’s not surprised at the lackluster tone in which he receives a reply. “Hi.”
They would be enveloped in an awkward silence if they weren’t already in a quiet environment.
But Jongin has a reason for sitting next to her right now. He holds out a friendly hand and introduces himself. “I’m Kim Jongin.”
Jinri blinks, a hint of a rueful smile on her lips- but the smile isn’t quite there yet. “Choi Jinri.” She looks a little amused- “We’ve had classes together since middle school, Jongin.”
Jongin grins sheepishly, reasoning for the introduction being, “But we’ve never talked.”
Jinri takes the reasoning for what it is, but is quick to get to the point. “So why are we talking right now?”
Well, he didn’t expect her to be so blunt about it. But then again, what could he expect from a girl he knew nothing about?
Close to nothing, in any case- but he’s hoping that will change.
Jongin is half-joking, half-serious when he asks her, “Will you be my muse?” Because he can see that she has that type of beauty that simply radiates and can inspire if she so much as does the simple action of smiling. He has seen it in Soojung’s work, the type of inspiration that only Choi Jinri can give. But he wants to experience for himself, wants to see what type of feelings she can bring out of him.
Because Jongin knows that there has to be something about this girl- the girl that makes her best friend say cryptic things about depth and things not looking what they seem on the surface. That’s the type of beauty he wants to capture.
Jinri blinks in shock at the offer, unable to say a word. Instead she just smiles cordially and shakes her head, politely declining.
She never says a word, too speechless to do so. So she leaves quietly.
He watches her retreating back with a strange mash up of both self-embarrassment and piqued curiosity.
Jongin has never seen a smile as fake as that one.
The interest is as strong as ever.
-
Jung Soojung has always believed that Choi Jinri is like a work of art.
Since they were children, Soojung has always believed this.
Like a painting, Jinri is effortlessly beautiful. With her mannerisms, her attitude, her looks. There is a type of beauty in Jinri that is not worked for, but simply there.
And also like a painting, Soojung has learned that Jinri is judged in an instant, her entire self-worth explained and summed up in one look. It is a bitter piece of knowledge, one formed and learned throughout the years.
All Soojung does is sigh and wish people took the time to appreciate art more.
-
Jinri goes home that night, mulling over that strange boy’s question.
A couple weeks ago, Jinri had only known him by name; now, she can put a name to a face.
She remembers, quite clearly, the sheepish smile he had given to her, alongside the jarring question. “Will you be my muse?”
Jinri is sure that Jongin had only asked her because he had seen Soojung’s painting- but Jinri hadn’t been lying when she said that it didn’t resemble her at all.
That type of happiness, the brightness that calls for being an actual muse- that’s not Jinri. It’s fine if Soojung wants to call her as such, Soojung who she has known for an eternity. Soojung, who insists that Jinri is beautiful, that Jinri just needs to look deeper, who sees something in Jinri that not even Jinri herself sees.
That’s fine. It’s Soojung.
But to a stranger like Jongin? There is just no way.
Because to Jinri, being a muse means that one has to be beautiful enough to inspire.
She takes a chance look at her reflection; her plump cheeks, cracked lips, and dry skin stare back at her. Her eyes hollowly reflect what she knows to be truth, harsh and unforgiving with its gaze.
One look in the mirror and it’s obvious.
She’s not worthy of being someone’s muse.
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Jongin knows Jinri is beautiful. If one were to judge just on face value, Jinri would undoubtedly be called so. Just one glance at her face, and it's apparent for the whole world to see.
But Soojung’s words ring loudly in Jongin’s ears- almost as loudly as Jinri’s own.
Jongin knows that there must be more to her than meet the eye.
That much is obvious with what Soojung has already said- if she wants him to look deeper, then by all means, he is going to do it.
The photographer in him, the one that wants to capture special instances, ones that are irreplaceable-
That’s the part that is itching to find out about Choi Jinri.
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Jongin is a pretty reasonable guy, with a reasonable temper. He doesn’t get angry, not if he has no reason to be.
But if someone were to ask Jongin what makes him tick, he would tell that person three things.
He would say that broken cameras make him want to cry, that animal cruelty is just not right, and-
The fact that there are still people in this world that bully others makes him sick to his stomach.
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Jongin is not surprised when he finds himself stumbling across Jinri more often that not. Maybe she had always been around, but he never bothered to notice- although how he could never notice Jinri is beyond him.
He thinks it has to do with how quiet she is, how she does nothing but talk to Soojung and be inconspicuous. But now, his viewpoint of her has changed. His viewpoint is constantly changing with every little bit he sees that is Choi Jinri.
Jongin is just about to wave her down when he sees her across the hallway, but stops short when he realizes that she’s not alone- or with Soojung for that matter.
There are three people in the group, but it’s obvious that there is a ringleader. It takes Jongin but a moment to realize what’s going on when he sees one of them shove at Jinri’s shoulder.
Jongin wants to roll his eyes at how cliché the whole scene is. It’s not a scene that he’s familiar with, but not one that he’s ignorant of. They’re in high school. Of course bullying exists; they’re at the age where emotions run rampant, where everything is a social struggle for the sake of popularity- because yes, art schools have a hierarchy system just like every other school.
Jongin would be a fool to be idealistic enough to think otherwise- he sees with the clarity of someone always watching behind a lens, always focused and observing through a clear filter.
And it is evident enough that it is the work of petty human emotions that bring Jongin to watch as a group of people try and bring Choi Jinri down.
There’s a nasty little sneer on some classmate Jongin has never bothered to learn the name of; she rolls her eyes and says hateful, bitter things whilst keeping that ugly sneer on. “You think you’re too good for us, don’t you?” Silence acts as Jinri’s response, but the response obviously isn’t what the other girl wanted.
Because in the next moment, there’s more ugly sneering, the baring of teeth, and shoving that should never, ever occur. Jinri is now on the ground, with the other girl laughing down at her. “Look at you, pretty little Choi Jinri- on the ground where she belongs.” There is another bark of laughter- but Jinri responds to all of it with-
With what looks like a tiny little deprecating smirk.
Jongin really can’t figure this girl out.
But smirk is all she does, and even that only lasts an instant. After that, she sits on the floor placidly, with an almost pitying expression on her face. “What, can’t talk? Won’t even stand up for yourself? What are you good for, Choi Jinri?”
In that instance, Jongin thinks this classmate looks really ugly.
But it has nothing to do with her physical appearance; instead, everything unattractive lies within her heart, blatantly shown through her unforgiving actions and acrid smile.
She makes him sick.
And so, to rid himself of that sick feeling, he moves from his spot, on a mission to call out some of his classmates on their ugly antics.
“Hasn’t anyone ever told you guys that bullying is really, really unattractive?”
It’s not the classiest or harshest of words to say, but there is utmost truth in them. “I mean, the poor girl is on the ground, but you’re still going on like there’s an actual point- which is really, really ugly.”
The one with the ugly sneer has turned her attention to Jongin. “It’s none of your business, Jongin.” Oh, so they know him? Strange- first he’s missed out on Jinri and now even her bullies?”
He takes this in stride, even if he feels sick to his stomach. Jinri is still on the ground. “You’re right, it’s none of my business- but I’m sure the office would love to hear about this.”
They sputter a response but the end result is them fuming in rage at the implied threat; they leave in a flurry of hastened and angry steps.
In the end, Jongin just laughs. Like cowards, they ran at the first mention of punishment and higher authority. It really is the work of petty jealousy. He makes a satisfied noise before he remembers why he did what he just did- and then he goes over and extends a hand to help Jinri up.
“Thank you,” she says, giving him a ginger smile; she pointedly does not take the hand that he had extended to her as she lifts herself up.
“What, that’s it?” Jongin doesn’t know why he expected anything in the first place, or what he was actually expecting, but he didn’t expect a cold thank you to be it.
Jinri looks genuinely curious as she asks in response, “What else do I need to do?”
“You’re supposed to-” except Jongin isn’t actually sure what there is that she needs to do.
Consequently, Jongin is left speechless; Jinri leaves with another polite smile. He gets to watch her retreating back once more- still with the same self-embarrassment and interest for Choi Jinri.
-
It doesn't make sense, he thinks.
For Jinri to be bullied.
She has never done anything to draw attention to herself, only sits there quietly. He figures that he would have known who she was if she drew attention to herself or had some sort of horrid reputation.
But maybe it is because she does nothing, and yet, people can't seem to look away. Jongin is finding that the more he watches, the more he realizes that he is not alone in trying to catch a glimpse of her.
Choi Jinri has something that draws people to her; her aura is steady and bright, like a flame, too beautiful to not be drawn to.
Like how moths are drawn to the bright light of a burning flame, he supposes.
Jongin makes the connection and snorts.
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He’s just a moth drawn to a flame.
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Soojung doesn’t quite know why Jinri is bullied.
Okay, she knows why- but she doesn’t know why.
She knows the basic reasoning, understands the underlying envy behind all who cannot stand the sight of her best friend.
So Soojung knows why in that sense-
But she doesn’t know why anyone would even try, how anyone can have the soul to do so.
Jinri has never been anything but kind. Maybe a little blunt and kind of passive, but always, always kind.
But jealousy, Soojung supposes, is a fickle, evil thing.
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Jinri is bullied, at least to a small extent.
But Jongin doesn’t know why, nor can he figure it out.
And it eats at him, bothers him each time he sees Jinri.
He ends up asking the one person he figures knows why.
-
Jongin approaches Soojung in a hallway during passing period; he has about a minute to figure out what he needs to know. “So what’s the story?”
Soojung blinks at him, confused. “Excuse me?”
Okay, so that may have not been the best opener Kim Jongin has ever said. “Why do those art girls bully Jinri?”
Her tone is defensive, with her crossing her arms; she looks completely guarded as she asks, “Why do you want to know?” Who is Jongin to want to know about her best friend?
She interests me, I want to know more about her, it doesn’t make sense. These are the thoughts that Jongin can’t let out; he has no reason to want to know as badly as he actually does. So, to her best friend, he settles for saying a lame, “I just want to know.”
Soojung is ready to dismiss the question then and there, to coolly direct Jongin’s attention elsewhere.
But something in the way Jongin fidgets, the way he looks like he sincerely wants to know, makes Soojung pause.
Something forms in Soojung’s mind right there, on the basis that Jongin wants to know about Jinri- Jongin, who had called her portrait of Jinri beautiful and compared her to Snow White.
She sees something there.
So she smiles a little bit and doesn’t shut down his question like how she initially wanted to. “Ask her yourself,” is all Soojung says.
Because if he asks and Jinri tells him, then it is more than all the signs that Soojung needs.
The warning bell rings and then she is gone, off to class.
-
Jinri doesn’t mind that she’s bullied, not really. All the bullying only comes from that tiny group of three, and she can take that small dosage of abuse easily.
To have people rudely tell her who she is, who she's not, what she's worth- people that don't even matter somehow think they are so important that they can pass judgment- it is annoying, but Jinri has long since learned how to deal with it.
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The most annoying thing about being bullied is not the bullies themselves.
Not to Jinri, at least.
The most annoying part, she supposes, is that she’s heard it all before from people that make the school bullies look sweet angels.
Harsh stares, judging glares, and words said only to put another down, to make them hurt- Jinri can take it all with a smile because it doesn’t matter what the unimportant people say.
It only really hurts from the people that actually matter.
-
A person is always shaped by their background, even if they do not choose to acknowledge it.
People are defined by their heritage, by their background, by their upbringing.
Jinri is no different, even if she does her best to say nothing about it.
It’s not that she is ashamed, not particularly so. It’s just hard to talk about when the topic inevitably falls upon her parents.
Her parents, who are famed in their own right, make things hard for Jinri.
Her mother used to be a fashion model; although she is now past her peak years, and has been since Jinri had been born, her mother is still beautiful beyond compare. She has aged gracefully, looking ten years younger than her actual age- but even so, her beauty is both timely and unsatisfactory for the magazine lines she used to give up everything for.
Jinri doesn’t understand how someone so beautiful in her eyes is seen as old and no longer useful in the eyes of her old line of work.
She’s grown up with the natural grace, with the effortless charm that her mother exudes. Her mother is tall with a slim figure; her eyes are big and bright, with fair skin and plump lips and long eyelashes.
And if her mother isn’t considered beautiful, then quite frankly, Jinri thinks no one is.
Jinri cannot even consider being on the same level as her mother; Jinri may be her daughter, but she carries none of what she thinks makes her mother beautiful.
And her father- well, her father is still going.
Her father still works as a high-end fashion photographer.
He’s had that job before Jinri had even been born- in fact, that’s how her father met her mother in the first place.
And he, with his lens and critical eye, looks at all things beautiful.
He critiques with an artistic vision framed by working with high-fashion; he knows what models should look like, what it takes to be a model.
He has a very specific criteria for what he considers beautiful, and Jinri understands- he has to, because of his job.
It just stings whenever Jinri thinks about how she doesn’t fit the criteria.
It stings even more when they tell her exactly that.
-
Jinri loves her parents, adores them.
And she always has the heart to forgive, especially when they don’t know that they’re hurting her.
“You need to stop eating so much, babygirl,” is what Jinri has been hearing since she started puberty- when she started getting taller, when her thighs got more plump, when her hips started to widen. Since she was thirteen years old.
Jinri grimaces, remembering all the times where she has had to paste a smile on her face. “It’s just a bowl of rice, mom.” Because food is food and food is important- right?
Her mom would always tut at her, merely looking at her bowl of carbs in disapproval. She would never say anything. Her husband would always say what is clearly on her mind.
“You’re never going to have someone love you if you look like this.” There is a fatherly smile on his face each and every time he says this and Jinri- to this day- doesn’t understand how a smile so gentle can pain her like nothing else.
But she has gotten used to it.
-
“You’re never going to have someone love you if you look like this.”
Those are the words that ring most clearly in Jinri’s mind when she looks into a mirror, when she steps on a scale, when all she comes home to are these harsh, ugly words.
-
Jongin, to his own credit, has tried to ask Jinri. He’s tried to catch her in the hallway like how he caught Soojung, has looked for her in the library a couple times. and even gets close even to speak to her face to face.
He feels a friendship with Jinri building in each stilted, polite conversation he has with her. Each conversation serves to build a connection between the two of them, with Jongin sincerely wanting to get to know her and Jinri letting him see bits and parts.
It starts with awkward greetings and mild pleasantries; within two weeks, they’re moving past that, with Jongin effortlessly being able to hold a conversation.
He is starting to know how to act around, starting to say the right things, and starting to actually make a new friend.
But he can’t find it in himself to ask something so personal; he doesn’t think he has earned the right.
-
Soojung has noticed Jongin around a lot more in the past weeks than she has had all semester. Of course, that could be because of all of the little conversations he has been having with her best friend.
She sees him speaking quickly when they pass each other in hallways, greeting her with a smile, and asking Jinri how her day has been.
And all Soojung can do is smile once he catches her again, not even bothering to start with a preamble. “It still doesn’t make sense to me,” Jongin admits. “But I want to know why.” He just can’t bring himself to ask yet.
Soojung knows what he is talking about immediately. “So you haven’t asked?” Somehow, she isn’t surprised that he hasn’t.
“No,” Jongin responds, frowning. “But I will, eventually- because I want to know Jinri.”
And that is all Soojung needs to hear.
-
Soojung and Jongin, much to Jinri’s surprise, form a friendship.
It doesn’t come as much of a surprise to Soojung though; Jongin has something about him that Soojung wants around Jinri- she’s not completely sure what that something is, or what will be the result in the future, but for now, Jongin’s presence is needed. Soojung knows that much.
Jinri, on the other hand, is rather confused when Jongin pulls up next to their table and plants himself into the seat next to Jinri. Soojung snickers from her place across from Jinri.
To her own credit, she only sounds mildly confused when she asks, “What are you doing here?”
Jongin gives Soojung a rather toothy grin once he answers with, “Soojung invited me to eat with you guys,”
All Jinri can do is stare blankly.
Jongin would be half offended at the reaction, but he knows better by now; he’s stared at her so long, has gotten to know her enough through the little conversations, and knows that she doesn’t mean to look so blank. In fact, she’s probably still confused. With the same toothy grin, he asks Jinri, “Why do you look so surprised?”
Jinri looks from Soojung to Jongin and then back to Soojung. “I thought she would hate you.” At the very least, Jinri is telling the truth. She didn’t even know that Soojung and Jongin were acquainted with one another.
Judging from just their personalities, Jinri didn’t think they would get along. “Like, she would end up trying to stab you with a fork or something.”
Soojung laughs, loud and free.
She agrees where Jinri is coming from- but Soojung gets along just fine with anyone that tries to see Jinri the same way she does.
-
They have a lunch break filled with nonsense and solidifying friendships.
When the bell rings, Jinri excuses herself to the bathroom quietly.
-
Jinri has a beautiful smile.
Jongin learns that quickly.
When she smiles, bright and free, Jongin thinks she has a smile beyond compare. Jongin has seen snippets of it, several times, and is capable of garnering at least a small smile now.
He’s even seen it in painting form, with the piece of art being able to make him stop and stare.
Every picture is worth a thousand words- Jongin knows this, lives by it as a photographer. But he has so many words to say about Jinri’s smile, he’s not sure he would ever be able to finish if he started talking about it.
-
Jongin also learns another thing really quickly.
And it is that no one can make Jinri smile like Soojung can. It is only around the other girl that Jongin thinks he is seeing the real Jinri.
Soojung knows just exactly what to say, what to do, to make Jinri smile.
Jongin will never say it aloud, but just knowing that makes him feel an irrational type of jealousy.
-
Jongin wants to be able to make Jinri smile.
It is a surprisingly startling yet simple realization.
The realization comes with a lurching feeling in his stomach- one very much akin to butterflies.
-
Jongin walks Jinri home one day when Soojung informs them that she can’t; the painter has to stay behind to work on a project- but she would hate for Jinri to have to walk home alone. And so she volunteers Jongin- who, honestly, doesn’t mind much.
So he is her designated walking home buddy of the day.
The walk is peaceful, with nonsense making most of the conversation. By this point, Jinri is able to talk comfortably in Jongin’s presence; she shows more of herself each and every day to Jongin.
They are about three blocks away when they both hear a yip- a frantic one. Jinri pauses, looks around for a moment, trying to find the source of the noise.
In the end, they both realize that there is an opened sewage vault- with a very lost puppy inside.
Jinri frowns immediately, assessing the situation. The vault is probably about five feet in depth and- poor thing, falling five feet. The dog is small and gruffy, and so very, very frantic.
She is still frowning, but by now she is taking off her shoes in the process. With a heavy sigh towards her clothes, she walks towards the sewage and is in it before Jongin even realizes it.
“What are you doing?” Jongin asks the obvious question, but he can’t help it. The determined purse of Jinri’s lips is making him incapable of thinking straight.
She doesn’t answer his question. Instead, she merely commands him. “Come here and help me save this dog.”
In that moment, Jongin sees a selfless soul.
A beautiful, benevolent soul.
She passes the dog to him, making sure that the dog is safely passed on.
Her clothes are grimy and she is marked with rather questionable things, but Jongin thinks she has never looked more beautiful.
And then Jinri beams at him, teeth showing and eye-smile in full effect- and that’s when he knows that he is a goner.
-
When Jongin offers her a helping this time around, Jinri takes it.
-
Jongin feels in immense sense of pride when Jinri walks into the an animal shelter, tracking grime and carrying a scruffy little dog that needs to be saved.
He thinks she looks beautiful.
-
Somewhere along the lines, it changes from just Soojung and Jinri and it varies from Jongin and Jinri to become Soojung, Jinri, and Jongin.
They form a legitimate group of three.
-
Jongin is reminded just how little he knows about Jinri when he sees Jinri carrying around a sketchpad one day. He feels that need to get to know more about Jinri become a little more desperate.
“You draw?”
“Why do you think I’m here?” Jinri teases. Oh yeah. Art school. Right. She raises an eyebrow and quite sassily asks, “Is that a problem?”
Jongin is sheepish because, okay, fine, that was an obvious question. But still, he can’t help but follow up with, “No, but- why?”
“Why?” Jinri questions her question. “I need a reason?” She does have one- and it’s that she’s good at it. But she wants to know why Jongin is asking.
Again, Jongin answers, “No.” But again, he has a follow up question. “But you must have a reason for going to an art school for drawing.”
“Why do you take pictures then?” Jinri counters. She’s not asking to be defensive, but now that she thinks about it, she really does want to know.
Jongin takes no offense to the question, happy to answer- because if she is asking, then that means Jinri wants to know more about him too- right? “I love being a photographer. It’s a way of life.”
“A way of life,” she repeats.
“Yes because- don’t judge me, Choi Jinri,” Jongin reprimands, seeing the flat stare that she is giving him. There is a quirk of a smile on her lips and Jongin moves on, continuing. “It’s a way of life because it reminds me to always live in the moment.”
“Sounds poetic,” she mumbles, mildly pursing her lips.
Jongin grins cheekily and restates his bold claim. “I live for the sake of capturing precious moments.”
“You live for the sake of capturing special moments," Jinri repeats once more, confused expression clear on her face, like it is a new concept to her.
“Because every moment is special,” he says, tone thoughtful and implication heavy as he stares dead-set into her eyes.
Jinri finds herself blushing deeply for the first time in years.
-
Jongin gives Jinri pleasant, tingly feelings and she can only guess what they really mean- but every time Jongin goes out of his way to try and make her smile, she finds herself falling just a little bit each time.
-
Jinri makes a habit to at least try and make herself feel like she is not ugly to the world every single day.
-
Jinri has always been curious when she sees that camera hanging around Jongin’s neck, but has never bothered to ask until now. “What kind of pictures do you take?” Jongin had invited her out for a little stroll in the park; they had both invited Soojung, but the other girl just laughed and declined.
Jongin, with a mild blush, thinks he knows why.
But he refocuses to answer Jinri’s question. “I’m taking landscape shots now, but people, mostly. I love candid shots.”
“So you’re one of those,” Jinri jokes, tone dry and flat. It takes Jongin three seconds for him to realize that Jinri is messing with him.
“Candid photos are beautiful. They hide nothing and only show the truest expressions.”
“You know my dad is a photographer.” Jinri ends up talking for the sake of talking. It slips without her really realizing it. It surprises herself, when she hears the words fall out of her mouth.
Jongin perks up at the words and asks, “Really?” His eyes are shining and Jinri can plainly see the adoration Jongin has for his art. “Who is he? Maybe I’ve heard of him?”
The answer comes out in a tired sigh. He’s going to hear the name, fall in love with the status of it, and then never look at Jinri the same. “Choi Soonyoung.” It always happens that way.
Jongin’s eyes are still bright as he cheerfully admits, “Never heard of him.”
Jinri feels a type of pleasant warmth with his happy, nonsense answer. But she wonders if he would still look at her like that if he, who so sincerely loves photography, found out that she could be his connection to something much bigger.
So she finds herself explaining, “He works for Seoul Fashion. He works as a photographer and one of the main editors.”
Jongin looks thoughtful as he asks in response, “That’s the really high-cut fashion magazine, right?” Jinri only nods wordlessly.
“Can I meet him?” There it is. Jongin won’t need her as a friend anymore- only as a connection. She knew it. “Your dad must be awesome if he has a daughter like you.” And then she is proven wrong. There is shyness in his tone and something else that makes Jongin incapable of looking her in the eye after saying such a statement.
Jinri laughs, short and hollow. The pleasant warmth thrums in her heart, telling her that she rather liked what Jongin had just said. But she goes back to the actual topic, moving away from the test that Jongin didn’t even know he was taking. (He failed, by the way- which was the best possible result.)
“I don’t think that would be a good idea.” Something about Jongin chips away at her carefully built filter; she finds herself answering questions she didn’t think she ever would to a mere acquaintance. Jinri doesn’t recognize it as such- but it’s the beginnings of something deeper than what she ever would have thought would come of her relationship with Jongin.
-
Jinri locks herself in the bathroom and plays her music loud so that no one can hear her.
-
Jongin almost forgets that Jinri is actually bullied.
Almost, being the key and defining term.
-
When Jongin sees Jinri backed up into a wall, the scene makes sense to him in less than a second.
It should be funny, seeing as how Jinri is taller than all three girls that are trying to make her stand down, but Jongin is starting to feel sick again so funny it is definitely not.
“Ungrateful bitch,” he hears one of them shriek. A fist lands near Jinri’s head and- that is not okay.
Jongin feels that familiar sickening feeling, and before he knows it, he’s rushing to do something.
He is in front of her in mere moments, shielding her own body with his own.
And now the situation should be really funny, with him staring down three short women. But it is still not.
“You must really want the office to hear about this, don’t you?” He sneers, not even bothering with any niceties.
“Don’t bother, Jongin,” Jinri murmurs, tugging on Jongin’s sleeve and making him still.
“They looked like they were about to hit you!” Jongin is both confused and enraged.
“They wouldn’t have,” she says. Her tone is nonchalant and Jongin doesn’t know why.
“They’ve been threatening me for years,” Jinri says, tone matter-of-fact. “But they’ve never done anything more than push me around a little.”
The girls, especially the ringleader, look visibly angry at this.
“Too cowardly to do anything else?” Jongin and Jinri talk like they are not right in front of them. It especially seems like it, now that Jongin has arrived on the scene. They haven’t moved much since, just fidgeting around.
“Too unimportant to matter,” Jinri corrects. Someone flinches and Jongin knows that Jinri has hit a nerve. “If bullying me a little gives them purpose in life, then why not let them?” Jinri’s words are cutting, but to her, she is just saying what she thinks.
“You really think you’re too good for us, don’t you?” one of them sneers.
“Not at all.” Jinri says this with sincerity.
Oh. So this is what it is all about. Jongin has figured it out. Petty, petty jealousy about Jinri being more important.
“You just don’t know how to make it hurt,” she says, honest and blunt and more telling than anything else.
Jongin should have taken the statement as a warning sign; instead, he just scoffs, slings an arm around Jinri, and walks away.
-
Jongin does eventually report them.
They never get the chance to bully Jinri again, especially not with Jongin always around.
-
Jinri and Jongin make small talk as they walk to the rendezvous point that Soojung is most likely waiting at. “At least I can say I’ve been bullied in high school.”
Jongin looks at her pointedly and with mild exasperation. “Why would you want to say that?”
Jinri opens her mouth to answer, closes it, and then opens to only say a thoughtful, “...huh.”
He sighs at her, exasperated but amused.
Jongin keeps his arm around Jinri for the remainder of the walk.
-
It has become a typical occurrence- Jongin eating with Jinri and Soojung. Normally, he’s off playing with Luhan from the next class during lunch, but he makes an effort to join two of his favorite women for lunch at least once a week.
So it surprises no one when Jongin slides in the seat next to Jinri.
But Jongin is a little late today and Jinri is already done eating, with Soojung close behind.
Jinri has just finished a bowl of rice and she looks rather sick- like she needs to throw up. Maybe the lunch was bad today?
Jongin greets both of them but stares at Jinri, concerned.
She moves to excuse herself when Jongin catches her off-guard. “Are you okay?”
Jinri blinks, as if she’s surprised that Jongin’s noticed. “I’m fine.”
“Don’t lie to me,” Jongin waggles a finger and Soojung laughs at the dorky gesture, but she voices her agreement.
“You do look a little pale, Jinri.” Soojung stares, intent and curious as Jinri smiles awkwardly.
She thanks them for their concern but says, “I really am okay, I just need to use the restroom.” Jinri looks more uncomfortable by the moment, so they eventually let it slide.
Jongin and Soojung stare at Jinri’s retreating back with more than just mild concern.
-
part two.
-
A fairy tale is, by definition, something that denotes of magical, idealized happiness. It is a story of bliss, of happily ever after’s.
There are many different kinds of fairy tales, spanning and shifting and shuffling from the many people that want their very own tale of magic and happiness.
Not every girl wishes for a fairy tale, but in this case- Choi Jinri definitely does.
-
Not a day goes by where Choi Jinri feels happy with herself.
Choi Jinri wishes she lived in a perfectly ideal life; she wishes for a life with mundane parents, an average education, and normal talents. She wishes for a completely ordinary life, filled with the most boring and flat line of events that she could live out with her peaceful, long, and everyday life.
This is her wish, her fairytale that she dreams and writes up in her mind, never to actually be written down and brought into this world in a physical form.
-
Choi Jinri will never get that fairytale.
-
This is not a fairytale with a prince that saves a damsel in distress, a beautifully idealistic romance, or any happily ever after’s.
This is a story of a small crush that turns into sincere love, a tale that serves as a reminder that things may not be what they seem, and a way to remember that one must seize the day and live life to its fullest before it’s too late.
This is Choi Jinri’s story.
-
This story has three key players, all of whom will never be the same after this story reaches the end.
-
Choi Jinri lives the completely ordinary life of someone with famous parents; she goes to school quietly, has only one really good friend named Jung Soojung, and never kicks up a fuss about anything, really.
She looks perfectly content in all aspects of her life.
No one else is the wiser.
-
Kim Jongin lives his life to the fullest- he makes sure of it. To seize the moment and to do whatever it is that must be done- that is what he’ll do.
Because to him, every instance is special.
With that in mind, that is how he lives life.
And how he will live life until the day he dies.
-
Jung Soojung is Choi Jinri’s best friend.
She’s the artsy one, the one that goes by the paintbrush, the one that has known Choi Jinri since she was just five years old.
Soojung is also the one that always knows much more than anyone is willing to give her credit for.
-
Choi Jinri, Kim Jongin, and Jung Soojung all have one thing in common, with that one thing being their very exclusive arts high school.
-
This is the start.
-
The perks of going to an art-focused high school is that the school made sure to keep the art students both happy and competitive about their work.
It is an environment that bleeds rivalry under the pretense of supporting one another. It’s true. that while friends are made and encouragement is done, when the monthly showcases arrive, it’s every artist for themselves to get their work on the wall.
Because art is not an extracurricular to the students that go here; instead, it is a way of life, a certain passion.
It is, Jongin supposes, an art school thing.
And with that thing in mind, Jongin walks towards the monthly art gallery exhibition for the sake of seeing his own work displayed.
-
The gallery is set up in a way that has sculptures, drawings, photographs, and paintings all organized into different sections in one huge auditorium. As luck would have it for Jongin, the section he cares about is at the furthest end of the auditorium.
That’s what he puts his blame on- the farness, of course.
Because Jongin doesn’t even make it past the first section.
-
Jongin strides through the auditorium with a goal in mind; he is halfway across the combined paintings and sculptures section with the intention of bypassing it all.
He’s not one for paintings and sculptures, with all of his attention being focused on photographs.
Jongin knows little about the different types of brushes and the oils and paints and blocks of marble; his art lies behind a camera lens, with the ability to capture a moment in an instant.
So he is not one to immerse himself in things not related to photography- and with this mindset, he moves to power walk past all sections until he sees the work of a camera.
But something catches his attention in passing, which is strange in itself.
It’s a painting, and a portrait at that. The colors are vivid and the face is one that jumps out at him. He would say it called out to him, if he were in a more poetic mood.
Jongin finds himself walking towards the work, inspecting it with a thoughtful hum.
“It’s a gorgeous painting,” Jongin finds himself saying out loud. It’s a personal opinion; the overall result of the painting is, by all of Jongin’s knowledge, a beautiful one. The careful brush strokes and the quality of the paint coupled with the obvious skill of the painter made full use of the model, resulting in a stunning portrait.
But the skill level in itself is not why Jongin considers it gorgeous.
Because for every portrait, there must be a model.
And the model in this painting stuns with her red, kissable lips, pale skin, luscious hair, and a smile beyond compare. The eyes are definitely striking, with the orbs forming perfect little moon crescents.
Beautiful, indeed.
He stares a little longer at the painting, focusing solely on the smile he sees before him.
But the longer he stares, the more he feels a digging kind of sensation in his mind- like he is supposed to know who this is.
“You like it?” he hears a voice ask. “My best friend inspired it.” Jongin whirls around to see a girl standing besides him, also admiring the work. He rightfully assumes that this is the painter and he nods, going back to looking at the work of art.
“Yeah?” Jongin murmurs. He’s still looking at the painting. “It’s nice, kind of gives off a Snow White feel.”
Jongin knows this person as Jung Soojung; he hasn’t talked to her much, but he knows that she’s active in the arts. He doesn’t really know why he’s striking a conversation- but maybe it’s because he wants to know more about the painting that looks like it’s staring into his soul.
Soojung looks surprised, to say the least. She fights back a little smile and asks in the politest way possible, “How so?”
Jongin stays quiet, mulling over why he said so. It was more of a slip of the tongue, if anything. “It was the first fairytale princess to come to mind,” he sheepishly admits. But now that he has said it, he can’t get the related imagery out of mind.
Pale skin as white as snow, lips as red as blood, and hair as dark as ebony.
Jongin feels like he’s looking at a princess- and he has the shame to actually blush at the thought.
Soojung hums thoughtfully at the small response she had been given. “Well, if you don’t mind me asking, what else do you think about the painting?”
Jongin looks at that bright smile and says the most instinctive thought he has. “She looks happy.”
Soojung can’t fight her smile this time.
And then Jongin hears a dry chuckle coming from the other side of him, with a new person making her own commentary. Why she does it, Jongin’s not sure. "The funny thing about paintings is that you never actually know what's going on in a painting, because in the end, it's all speculation."
Jongin blinks in confusion at the speaker because- wait a minute- her eyes are bright, with soft lips and pale skin and-
It clicks.
Oh. This is Soojung’s best friend. The muse for this painting.
No wonder the person in the painting looked familiar- he’s gone to school with her for years. Choi Jinri.
Now it makes sense.
But he has never seen her smile so openly and brightly, like in the painting, in all the years that he’s known her. He looks at the painting and then looks back at Choi Jinri; there’s disbelief written all over his face.
Jinri sighs at the look of disbelief before turning to look at her best friend. With a soft smile, Jinri says an affectionate, “But good work, Soojung.”
Soojung beams at the compliment. “Why thank you, Jinri.”
“It barely looks like me though,” Jinri teases airily, the underlying tone of playfulness barely noticeable to Jongin.
When Jinri teases Soojung, Jongin thinks he sees a hint of the brightness that Soojung has captured through paint.
“Hey, take that back! I painted you in perfect likeness!” Soojung complains, hands on her hips and mouth twisted into a scowl.
All Jinri gives a toothy little grin to her best friend, refusing to say another word; she moves to leave, but suddenly remembers Jongin’s existence. She blinks at him, surprised, as if she thought he had already gone.
So she gives a polite smile to Jongin, and then turns to leave. Within seconds, it was like she was never there in the first place.
Jongin can’t help but feel a little offset by the cold reaction. “What’s her problem?”
Soojung gives him a mysterious smile, only bothering to say a sentence that only serves to further Jongin’s confusion. “There’s always a story behind a painting if you’re willing to look deep enough.”
Jongin can tell that there’s a cryptic meaning behind her words and that she’s giving him a hint of sorts but- “I don’t get it.” He doesn’t get where she’s playing at, why she’s telling him in the first place. He’s not one to typically care.
“Neither does she,” Soojung says, simply and with a hint of exasperation.
But now Jongin is interested.
-
Jongin keeps that interest up until he manages to see Choi Jinri once more.
He finds himself at the school library, needing one last source for his critical analysis essay on the different styles of writing.
His mission is, simply put, to get in and out.
But of course, he is stopped once more; he already has the book in hand- but there Choi Jinri is, sitting at a table with a book propped open.
There is a concentrated look on her face, with her pursed lips and drawn eyebrows. If Jongin were to guess, he’d say that she even looks a little frustrated.
There is absolutely no hint to the bright smile that had been painted for all to see by Soojung. In fact, he has never seen that hint of a smile- hell, he didn’t even know Choi Jinri could even smile before he had seen that painting.
It has acted as an eye-opener, of sorts.
But even still, smiling or not, Jongin realizes one thing very quickly as he discreetly watches her; he takes a seat at the table across from Jinri’s own study table. With eyes trained to notice the little things, he can’t help but find that Jinri has something very special about her.
And it is that there’s a sort of timeless beauty to her, a type of beauty that is undeniable. Just by giving a once-over to her face, it’s obvious.
All Jongin can do is sit and stare at Jinri- who is doing nothing but just sitting there, quietly and peacefully.
She has a type of soft prettiness to her that begs to be displayed, to have songs written in her name, to fall in love with.
She is someone who inspires- and he, as an artist, is always looking to be inspired.
That is the thought that encourages him, that makes him stride across the library and pull up a chair next to Choi Jinri.
“Hi,” he whispers. It’s a library, after all.
He’s not surprised at the lackluster tone in which he receives a reply. “Hi.”
They would be enveloped in an awkward silence if they weren’t already in a quiet environment.
But Jongin has a reason for sitting next to her right now. He holds out a friendly hand and introduces himself. “I’m Kim Jongin.”
Jinri blinks, a hint of a rueful smile on her lips- but the smile isn’t quite there yet. “Choi Jinri.” She looks a little amused- “We’ve had classes together since middle school, Jongin.”
Jongin grins sheepishly, reasoning for the introduction being, “But we’ve never talked.”
Jinri takes the reasoning for what it is, but is quick to get to the point. “So why are we talking right now?”
Well, he didn’t expect her to be so blunt about it. But then again, what could he expect from a girl he knew nothing about?
Close to nothing, in any case- but he’s hoping that will change.
Jongin is half-joking, half-serious when he asks her, “Will you be my muse?” Because he can see that she has that type of beauty that simply radiates and can inspire if she so much as does the simple action of smiling. He has seen it in Soojung’s work, the type of inspiration that only Choi Jinri can give. But he wants to experience for himself, wants to see what type of feelings she can bring out of him.
Because Jongin knows that there has to be something about this girl- the girl that makes her best friend say cryptic things about depth and things not looking what they seem on the surface. That’s the type of beauty he wants to capture.
Jinri blinks in shock at the offer, unable to say a word. Instead she just smiles cordially and shakes her head, politely declining.
She never says a word, too speechless to do so. So she leaves quietly.
He watches her retreating back with a strange mash up of both self-embarrassment and piqued curiosity.
Jongin has never seen a smile as fake as that one.
The interest is as strong as ever.
-
Jung Soojung has always believed that Choi Jinri is like a work of art.
Since they were children, Soojung has always believed this.
Like a painting, Jinri is effortlessly beautiful. With her mannerisms, her attitude, her looks. There is a type of beauty in Jinri that is not worked for, but simply there.
And also like a painting, Soojung has learned that Jinri is judged in an instant, her entire self-worth explained and summed up in one look. It is a bitter piece of knowledge, one formed and learned throughout the years.
All Soojung does is sigh and wish people took the time to appreciate art more.
-
Jinri goes home that night, mulling over that strange boy’s question.
A couple weeks ago, Jinri had only known him by name; now, she can put a name to a face.
She remembers, quite clearly, the sheepish smile he had given to her, alongside the jarring question. “Will you be my muse?”
Jinri is sure that Jongin had only asked her because he had seen Soojung’s painting- but Jinri hadn’t been lying when she said that it didn’t resemble her at all.
That type of happiness, the brightness that calls for being an actual muse- that’s not Jinri. It’s fine if Soojung wants to call her as such, Soojung who she has known for an eternity. Soojung, who insists that Jinri is beautiful, that Jinri just needs to look deeper, who sees something in Jinri that not even Jinri herself sees.
That’s fine. It’s Soojung.
But to a stranger like Jongin? There is just no way.
Because to Jinri, being a muse means that one has to be beautiful enough to inspire.
She takes a chance look at her reflection; her plump cheeks, cracked lips, and dry skin stare back at her. Her eyes hollowly reflect what she knows to be truth, harsh and unforgiving with its gaze.
One look in the mirror and it’s obvious.
She’s not worthy of being someone’s muse.
-
Jongin knows Jinri is beautiful. If one were to judge just on face value, Jinri would undoubtedly be called so. Just one glance at her face, and it's apparent for the whole world to see.
But Soojung’s words ring loudly in Jongin’s ears- almost as loudly as Jinri’s own.
Jongin knows that there must be more to her than meet the eye.
That much is obvious with what Soojung has already said- if she wants him to look deeper, then by all means, he is going to do it.
The photographer in him, the one that wants to capture special instances, ones that are irreplaceable-
That’s the part that is itching to find out about Choi Jinri.
-
Jongin is a pretty reasonable guy, with a reasonable temper. He doesn’t get angry, not if he has no reason to be.
But if someone were to ask Jongin what makes him tick, he would tell that person three things.
He would say that broken cameras make him want to cry, that animal cruelty is just not right, and-
The fact that there are still people in this world that bully others makes him sick to his stomach.
-
Jongin is not surprised when he finds himself stumbling across Jinri more often that not. Maybe she had always been around, but he never bothered to notice- although how he could never notice Jinri is beyond him.
He thinks it has to do with how quiet she is, how she does nothing but talk to Soojung and be inconspicuous. But now, his viewpoint of her has changed. His viewpoint is constantly changing with every little bit he sees that is Choi Jinri.
Jongin is just about to wave her down when he sees her across the hallway, but stops short when he realizes that she’s not alone- or with Soojung for that matter.
There are three people in the group, but it’s obvious that there is a ringleader. It takes Jongin but a moment to realize what’s going on when he sees one of them shove at Jinri’s shoulder.
Jongin wants to roll his eyes at how cliché the whole scene is. It’s not a scene that he’s familiar with, but not one that he’s ignorant of. They’re in high school. Of course bullying exists; they’re at the age where emotions run rampant, where everything is a social struggle for the sake of popularity- because yes, art schools have a hierarchy system just like every other school.
Jongin would be a fool to be idealistic enough to think otherwise- he sees with the clarity of someone always watching behind a lens, always focused and observing through a clear filter.
And it is evident enough that it is the work of petty human emotions that bring Jongin to watch as a group of people try and bring Choi Jinri down.
There’s a nasty little sneer on some classmate Jongin has never bothered to learn the name of; she rolls her eyes and says hateful, bitter things whilst keeping that ugly sneer on. “You think you’re too good for us, don’t you?” Silence acts as Jinri’s response, but the response obviously isn’t what the other girl wanted.
Because in the next moment, there’s more ugly sneering, the baring of teeth, and shoving that should never, ever occur. Jinri is now on the ground, with the other girl laughing down at her. “Look at you, pretty little Choi Jinri- on the ground where she belongs.” There is another bark of laughter- but Jinri responds to all of it with-
With what looks like a tiny little deprecating smirk.
Jongin really can’t figure this girl out.
But smirk is all she does, and even that only lasts an instant. After that, she sits on the floor placidly, with an almost pitying expression on her face. “What, can’t talk? Won’t even stand up for yourself? What are you good for, Choi Jinri?”
In that instance, Jongin thinks this classmate looks really ugly.
But it has nothing to do with her physical appearance; instead, everything unattractive lies within her heart, blatantly shown through her unforgiving actions and acrid smile.
She makes him sick.
And so, to rid himself of that sick feeling, he moves from his spot, on a mission to call out some of his classmates on their ugly antics.
“Hasn’t anyone ever told you guys that bullying is really, really unattractive?”
It’s not the classiest or harshest of words to say, but there is utmost truth in them. “I mean, the poor girl is on the ground, but you’re still going on like there’s an actual point- which is really, really ugly.”
The one with the ugly sneer has turned her attention to Jongin. “It’s none of your business, Jongin.” Oh, so they know him? Strange- first he’s missed out on Jinri and now even her bullies?”
He takes this in stride, even if he feels sick to his stomach. Jinri is still on the ground. “You’re right, it’s none of my business- but I’m sure the office would love to hear about this.”
They sputter a response but the end result is them fuming in rage at the implied threat; they leave in a flurry of hastened and angry steps.
In the end, Jongin just laughs. Like cowards, they ran at the first mention of punishment and higher authority. It really is the work of petty jealousy. He makes a satisfied noise before he remembers why he did what he just did- and then he goes over and extends a hand to help Jinri up.
“Thank you,” she says, giving him a ginger smile; she pointedly does not take the hand that he had extended to her as she lifts herself up.
“What, that’s it?” Jongin doesn’t know why he expected anything in the first place, or what he was actually expecting, but he didn’t expect a cold thank you to be it.
Jinri looks genuinely curious as she asks in response, “What else do I need to do?”
“You’re supposed to-” except Jongin isn’t actually sure what there is that she needs to do.
Consequently, Jongin is left speechless; Jinri leaves with another polite smile. He gets to watch her retreating back once more- still with the same self-embarrassment and interest for Choi Jinri.
-
It doesn't make sense, he thinks.
For Jinri to be bullied.
She has never done anything to draw attention to herself, only sits there quietly. He figures that he would have known who she was if she drew attention to herself or had some sort of horrid reputation.
But maybe it is because she does nothing, and yet, people can't seem to look away. Jongin is finding that the more he watches, the more he realizes that he is not alone in trying to catch a glimpse of her.
Choi Jinri has something that draws people to her; her aura is steady and bright, like a flame, too beautiful to not be drawn to.
Like how moths are drawn to the bright light of a burning flame, he supposes.
Jongin makes the connection and snorts.
-
He’s just a moth drawn to a flame.
-
Soojung doesn’t quite know why Jinri is bullied.
Okay, she knows why- but she doesn’t know why.
She knows the basic reasoning, understands the underlying envy behind all who cannot stand the sight of her best friend.
So Soojung knows why in that sense-
But she doesn’t know why anyone would even try, how anyone can have the soul to do so.
Jinri has never been anything but kind. Maybe a little blunt and kind of passive, but always, always kind.
But jealousy, Soojung supposes, is a fickle, evil thing.
-
Jinri is bullied, at least to a small extent.
But Jongin doesn’t know why, nor can he figure it out.
And it eats at him, bothers him each time he sees Jinri.
He ends up asking the one person he figures knows why.
-
Jongin approaches Soojung in a hallway during passing period; he has about a minute to figure out what he needs to know. “So what’s the story?”
Soojung blinks at him, confused. “Excuse me?”
Okay, so that may have not been the best opener Kim Jongin has ever said. “Why do those art girls bully Jinri?”
Her tone is defensive, with her crossing her arms; she looks completely guarded as she asks, “Why do you want to know?” Who is Jongin to want to know about her best friend?
She interests me, I want to know more about her, it doesn’t make sense. These are the thoughts that Jongin can’t let out; he has no reason to want to know as badly as he actually does. So, to her best friend, he settles for saying a lame, “I just want to know.”
Soojung is ready to dismiss the question then and there, to coolly direct Jongin’s attention elsewhere.
But something in the way Jongin fidgets, the way he looks like he sincerely wants to know, makes Soojung pause.
Something forms in Soojung’s mind right there, on the basis that Jongin wants to know about Jinri- Jongin, who had called her portrait of Jinri beautiful and compared her to Snow White.
She sees something there.
So she smiles a little bit and doesn’t shut down his question like how she initially wanted to. “Ask her yourself,” is all Soojung says.
Because if he asks and Jinri tells him, then it is more than all the signs that Soojung needs.
The warning bell rings and then she is gone, off to class.
-
Jinri doesn’t mind that she’s bullied, not really. All the bullying only comes from that tiny group of three, and she can take that small dosage of abuse easily.
To have people rudely tell her who she is, who she's not, what she's worth- people that don't even matter somehow think they are so important that they can pass judgment- it is annoying, but Jinri has long since learned how to deal with it.
-
The most annoying thing about being bullied is not the bullies themselves.
Not to Jinri, at least.
The most annoying part, she supposes, is that she’s heard it all before from people that make the school bullies look sweet angels.
Harsh stares, judging glares, and words said only to put another down, to make them hurt- Jinri can take it all with a smile because it doesn’t matter what the unimportant people say.
It only really hurts from the people that actually matter.
-
A person is always shaped by their background, even if they do not choose to acknowledge it.
People are defined by their heritage, by their background, by their upbringing.
Jinri is no different, even if she does her best to say nothing about it.
It’s not that she is ashamed, not particularly so. It’s just hard to talk about when the topic inevitably falls upon her parents.
Her parents, who are famed in their own right, make things hard for Jinri.
Her mother used to be a fashion model; although she is now past her peak years, and has been since Jinri had been born, her mother is still beautiful beyond compare. She has aged gracefully, looking ten years younger than her actual age- but even so, her beauty is both timely and unsatisfactory for the magazine lines she used to give up everything for.
Jinri doesn’t understand how someone so beautiful in her eyes is seen as old and no longer useful in the eyes of her old line of work.
She’s grown up with the natural grace, with the effortless charm that her mother exudes. Her mother is tall with a slim figure; her eyes are big and bright, with fair skin and plump lips and long eyelashes.
And if her mother isn’t considered beautiful, then quite frankly, Jinri thinks no one is.
Jinri cannot even consider being on the same level as her mother; Jinri may be her daughter, but she carries none of what she thinks makes her mother beautiful.
And her father- well, her father is still going.
Her father still works as a high-end fashion photographer.
He’s had that job before Jinri had even been born- in fact, that’s how her father met her mother in the first place.
And he, with his lens and critical eye, looks at all things beautiful.
He critiques with an artistic vision framed by working with high-fashion; he knows what models should look like, what it takes to be a model.
He has a very specific criteria for what he considers beautiful, and Jinri understands- he has to, because of his job.
It just stings whenever Jinri thinks about how she doesn’t fit the criteria.
It stings even more when they tell her exactly that.
-
Jinri loves her parents, adores them.
And she always has the heart to forgive, especially when they don’t know that they’re hurting her.
“You need to stop eating so much, babygirl,” is what Jinri has been hearing since she started puberty- when she started getting taller, when her thighs got more plump, when her hips started to widen. Since she was thirteen years old.
Jinri grimaces, remembering all the times where she has had to paste a smile on her face. “It’s just a bowl of rice, mom.” Because food is food and food is important- right?
Her mom would always tut at her, merely looking at her bowl of carbs in disapproval. She would never say anything. Her husband would always say what is clearly on her mind.
“You’re never going to have someone love you if you look like this.” There is a fatherly smile on his face each and every time he says this and Jinri- to this day- doesn’t understand how a smile so gentle can pain her like nothing else.
But she has gotten used to it.
-
“You’re never going to have someone love you if you look like this.”
Those are the words that ring most clearly in Jinri’s mind when she looks into a mirror, when she steps on a scale, when all she comes home to are these harsh, ugly words.
-
Jongin, to his own credit, has tried to ask Jinri. He’s tried to catch her in the hallway like how he caught Soojung, has looked for her in the library a couple times. and even gets close even to speak to her face to face.
He feels a friendship with Jinri building in each stilted, polite conversation he has with her. Each conversation serves to build a connection between the two of them, with Jongin sincerely wanting to get to know her and Jinri letting him see bits and parts.
It starts with awkward greetings and mild pleasantries; within two weeks, they’re moving past that, with Jongin effortlessly being able to hold a conversation.
He is starting to know how to act around, starting to say the right things, and starting to actually make a new friend.
But he can’t find it in himself to ask something so personal; he doesn’t think he has earned the right.
-
Soojung has noticed Jongin around a lot more in the past weeks than she has had all semester. Of course, that could be because of all of the little conversations he has been having with her best friend.
She sees him speaking quickly when they pass each other in hallways, greeting her with a smile, and asking Jinri how her day has been.
And all Soojung can do is smile once he catches her again, not even bothering to start with a preamble. “It still doesn’t make sense to me,” Jongin admits. “But I want to know why.” He just can’t bring himself to ask yet.
Soojung knows what he is talking about immediately. “So you haven’t asked?” Somehow, she isn’t surprised that he hasn’t.
“No,” Jongin responds, frowning. “But I will, eventually- because I want to know Jinri.”
And that is all Soojung needs to hear.
-
Soojung and Jongin, much to Jinri’s surprise, form a friendship.
It doesn’t come as much of a surprise to Soojung though; Jongin has something about him that Soojung wants around Jinri- she’s not completely sure what that something is, or what will be the result in the future, but for now, Jongin’s presence is needed. Soojung knows that much.
Jinri, on the other hand, is rather confused when Jongin pulls up next to their table and plants himself into the seat next to Jinri. Soojung snickers from her place across from Jinri.
To her own credit, she only sounds mildly confused when she asks, “What are you doing here?”
Jongin gives Soojung a rather toothy grin once he answers with, “Soojung invited me to eat with you guys,”
All Jinri can do is stare blankly.
Jongin would be half offended at the reaction, but he knows better by now; he’s stared at her so long, has gotten to know her enough through the little conversations, and knows that she doesn’t mean to look so blank. In fact, she’s probably still confused. With the same toothy grin, he asks Jinri, “Why do you look so surprised?”
Jinri looks from Soojung to Jongin and then back to Soojung. “I thought she would hate you.” At the very least, Jinri is telling the truth. She didn’t even know that Soojung and Jongin were acquainted with one another.
Judging from just their personalities, Jinri didn’t think they would get along. “Like, she would end up trying to stab you with a fork or something.”
Soojung laughs, loud and free.
She agrees where Jinri is coming from- but Soojung gets along just fine with anyone that tries to see Jinri the same way she does.
-
They have a lunch break filled with nonsense and solidifying friendships.
When the bell rings, Jinri excuses herself to the bathroom quietly.
-
Jinri has a beautiful smile.
Jongin learns that quickly.
When she smiles, bright and free, Jongin thinks she has a smile beyond compare. Jongin has seen snippets of it, several times, and is capable of garnering at least a small smile now.
He’s even seen it in painting form, with the piece of art being able to make him stop and stare.
Every picture is worth a thousand words- Jongin knows this, lives by it as a photographer. But he has so many words to say about Jinri’s smile, he’s not sure he would ever be able to finish if he started talking about it.
-
Jongin also learns another thing really quickly.
And it is that no one can make Jinri smile like Soojung can. It is only around the other girl that Jongin thinks he is seeing the real Jinri.
Soojung knows just exactly what to say, what to do, to make Jinri smile.
Jongin will never say it aloud, but just knowing that makes him feel an irrational type of jealousy.
-
Jongin wants to be able to make Jinri smile.
It is a surprisingly startling yet simple realization.
The realization comes with a lurching feeling in his stomach- one very much akin to butterflies.
-
Jongin walks Jinri home one day when Soojung informs them that she can’t; the painter has to stay behind to work on a project- but she would hate for Jinri to have to walk home alone. And so she volunteers Jongin- who, honestly, doesn’t mind much.
So he is her designated walking home buddy of the day.
The walk is peaceful, with nonsense making most of the conversation. By this point, Jinri is able to talk comfortably in Jongin’s presence; she shows more of herself each and every day to Jongin.
They are about three blocks away when they both hear a yip- a frantic one. Jinri pauses, looks around for a moment, trying to find the source of the noise.
In the end, they both realize that there is an opened sewage vault- with a very lost puppy inside.
Jinri frowns immediately, assessing the situation. The vault is probably about five feet in depth and- poor thing, falling five feet. The dog is small and gruffy, and so very, very frantic.
She is still frowning, but by now she is taking off her shoes in the process. With a heavy sigh towards her clothes, she walks towards the sewage and is in it before Jongin even realizes it.
“What are you doing?” Jongin asks the obvious question, but he can’t help it. The determined purse of Jinri’s lips is making him incapable of thinking straight.
She doesn’t answer his question. Instead, she merely commands him. “Come here and help me save this dog.”
In that moment, Jongin sees a selfless soul.
A beautiful, benevolent soul.
She passes the dog to him, making sure that the dog is safely passed on.
Her clothes are grimy and she is marked with rather questionable things, but Jongin thinks she has never looked more beautiful.
And then Jinri beams at him, teeth showing and eye-smile in full effect- and that’s when he knows that he is a goner.
-
When Jongin offers her a helping this time around, Jinri takes it.
-
Jongin feels in immense sense of pride when Jinri walks into the an animal shelter, tracking grime and carrying a scruffy little dog that needs to be saved.
He thinks she looks beautiful.
-
Somewhere along the lines, it changes from just Soojung and Jinri and it varies from Jongin and Jinri to become Soojung, Jinri, and Jongin.
They form a legitimate group of three.
-
Jongin is reminded just how little he knows about Jinri when he sees Jinri carrying around a sketchpad one day. He feels that need to get to know more about Jinri become a little more desperate.
“You draw?”
“Why do you think I’m here?” Jinri teases. Oh yeah. Art school. Right. She raises an eyebrow and quite sassily asks, “Is that a problem?”
Jongin is sheepish because, okay, fine, that was an obvious question. But still, he can’t help but follow up with, “No, but- why?”
“Why?” Jinri questions her question. “I need a reason?” She does have one- and it’s that she’s good at it. But she wants to know why Jongin is asking.
Again, Jongin answers, “No.” But again, he has a follow up question. “But you must have a reason for going to an art school for drawing.”
“Why do you take pictures then?” Jinri counters. She’s not asking to be defensive, but now that she thinks about it, she really does want to know.
Jongin takes no offense to the question, happy to answer- because if she is asking, then that means Jinri wants to know more about him too- right? “I love being a photographer. It’s a way of life.”
“A way of life,” she repeats.
“Yes because- don’t judge me, Choi Jinri,” Jongin reprimands, seeing the flat stare that she is giving him. There is a quirk of a smile on her lips and Jongin moves on, continuing. “It’s a way of life because it reminds me to always live in the moment.”
“Sounds poetic,” she mumbles, mildly pursing her lips.
Jongin grins cheekily and restates his bold claim. “I live for the sake of capturing precious moments.”
“You live for the sake of capturing special moments," Jinri repeats once more, confused expression clear on her face, like it is a new concept to her.
“Because every moment is special,” he says, tone thoughtful and implication heavy as he stares dead-set into her eyes.
Jinri finds herself blushing deeply for the first time in years.
-
Jongin gives Jinri pleasant, tingly feelings and she can only guess what they really mean- but every time Jongin goes out of his way to try and make her smile, she finds herself falling just a little bit each time.
-
Jinri makes a habit to at least try and make herself feel like she is not ugly to the world every single day.
-
Jinri has always been curious when she sees that camera hanging around Jongin’s neck, but has never bothered to ask until now. “What kind of pictures do you take?” Jongin had invited her out for a little stroll in the park; they had both invited Soojung, but the other girl just laughed and declined.
Jongin, with a mild blush, thinks he knows why.
But he refocuses to answer Jinri’s question. “I’m taking landscape shots now, but people, mostly. I love candid shots.”
“So you’re one of those,” Jinri jokes, tone dry and flat. It takes Jongin three seconds for him to realize that Jinri is messing with him.
“Candid photos are beautiful. They hide nothing and only show the truest expressions.”
“You know my dad is a photographer.” Jinri ends up talking for the sake of talking. It slips without her really realizing it. It surprises herself, when she hears the words fall out of her mouth.
Jongin perks up at the words and asks, “Really?” His eyes are shining and Jinri can plainly see the adoration Jongin has for his art. “Who is he? Maybe I’ve heard of him?”
The answer comes out in a tired sigh. He’s going to hear the name, fall in love with the status of it, and then never look at Jinri the same. “Choi Soonyoung.” It always happens that way.
Jongin’s eyes are still bright as he cheerfully admits, “Never heard of him.”
Jinri feels a type of pleasant warmth with his happy, nonsense answer. But she wonders if he would still look at her like that if he, who so sincerely loves photography, found out that she could be his connection to something much bigger.
So she finds herself explaining, “He works for Seoul Fashion. He works as a photographer and one of the main editors.”
Jongin looks thoughtful as he asks in response, “That’s the really high-cut fashion magazine, right?” Jinri only nods wordlessly.
“Can I meet him?” There it is. Jongin won’t need her as a friend anymore- only as a connection. She knew it. “Your dad must be awesome if he has a daughter like you.” And then she is proven wrong. There is shyness in his tone and something else that makes Jongin incapable of looking her in the eye after saying such a statement.
Jinri laughs, short and hollow. The pleasant warmth thrums in her heart, telling her that she rather liked what Jongin had just said. But she goes back to the actual topic, moving away from the test that Jongin didn’t even know he was taking. (He failed, by the way- which was the best possible result.)
“I don’t think that would be a good idea.” Something about Jongin chips away at her carefully built filter; she finds herself answering questions she didn’t think she ever would to a mere acquaintance. Jinri doesn’t recognize it as such- but it’s the beginnings of something deeper than what she ever would have thought would come of her relationship with Jongin.
-
Jinri locks herself in the bathroom and plays her music loud so that no one can hear her.
-
Jongin almost forgets that Jinri is actually bullied.
Almost, being the key and defining term.
-
When Jongin sees Jinri backed up into a wall, the scene makes sense to him in less than a second.
It should be funny, seeing as how Jinri is taller than all three girls that are trying to make her stand down, but Jongin is starting to feel sick again so funny it is definitely not.
“Ungrateful bitch,” he hears one of them shriek. A fist lands near Jinri’s head and- that is not okay.
Jongin feels that familiar sickening feeling, and before he knows it, he’s rushing to do something.
He is in front of her in mere moments, shielding her own body with his own.
And now the situation should be really funny, with him staring down three short women. But it is still not.
“You must really want the office to hear about this, don’t you?” He sneers, not even bothering with any niceties.
“Don’t bother, Jongin,” Jinri murmurs, tugging on Jongin’s sleeve and making him still.
“They looked like they were about to hit you!” Jongin is both confused and enraged.
“They wouldn’t have,” she says. Her tone is nonchalant and Jongin doesn’t know why.
“They’ve been threatening me for years,” Jinri says, tone matter-of-fact. “But they’ve never done anything more than push me around a little.”
The girls, especially the ringleader, look visibly angry at this.
“Too cowardly to do anything else?” Jongin and Jinri talk like they are not right in front of them. It especially seems like it, now that Jongin has arrived on the scene. They haven’t moved much since, just fidgeting around.
“Too unimportant to matter,” Jinri corrects. Someone flinches and Jongin knows that Jinri has hit a nerve. “If bullying me a little gives them purpose in life, then why not let them?” Jinri’s words are cutting, but to her, she is just saying what she thinks.
“You really think you’re too good for us, don’t you?” one of them sneers.
“Not at all.” Jinri says this with sincerity.
Oh. So this is what it is all about. Jongin has figured it out. Petty, petty jealousy about Jinri being more important.
“You just don’t know how to make it hurt,” she says, honest and blunt and more telling than anything else.
Jongin should have taken the statement as a warning sign; instead, he just scoffs, slings an arm around Jinri, and walks away.
-
Jongin does eventually report them.
They never get the chance to bully Jinri again, especially not with Jongin always around.
-
Jinri and Jongin make small talk as they walk to the rendezvous point that Soojung is most likely waiting at. “At least I can say I’ve been bullied in high school.”
Jongin looks at her pointedly and with mild exasperation. “Why would you want to say that?”
Jinri opens her mouth to answer, closes it, and then opens to only say a thoughtful, “...huh.”
He sighs at her, exasperated but amused.
Jongin keeps his arm around Jinri for the remainder of the walk.
-
It has become a typical occurrence- Jongin eating with Jinri and Soojung. Normally, he’s off playing with Luhan from the next class during lunch, but he makes an effort to join two of his favorite women for lunch at least once a week.
So it surprises no one when Jongin slides in the seat next to Jinri.
But Jongin is a little late today and Jinri is already done eating, with Soojung close behind.
Jinri has just finished a bowl of rice and she looks rather sick- like she needs to throw up. Maybe the lunch was bad today?
Jongin greets both of them but stares at Jinri, concerned.
She moves to excuse herself when Jongin catches her off-guard. “Are you okay?”
Jinri blinks, as if she’s surprised that Jongin’s noticed. “I’m fine.”
“Don’t lie to me,” Jongin waggles a finger and Soojung laughs at the dorky gesture, but she voices her agreement.
“You do look a little pale, Jinri.” Soojung stares, intent and curious as Jinri smiles awkwardly.
She thanks them for their concern but says, “I really am okay, I just need to use the restroom.” Jinri looks more uncomfortable by the moment, so they eventually let it slide.
Jongin and Soojung stare at Jinri’s retreating back with more than just mild concern.
-
part two.