(no subject)
words can never express my gratitude, my appreciation for any of you.
marc,
even though you'd probably never see this. thank you for being a role model to me, someone i really look up to. even though we lead such different lives, i know we're so much the same in many ways more than one. the way we speak, the way we act are already so similar in some ways despite the fact that we never had much interaction. thank you for taking steps to build relationships with me, mummy, daddy, zac, even when all of us were so distant from each other. even though it's a huge uphill task to bring everyone together due to the many years of emotional separation, i don't believe in impossibilities. just like how you've reached out first and reached for me, i will do the same to zac. or zac to me. thank you for making home a much safer place whenever you're around. you're an irreplacable older brother, someone whom i know, i know. will achieve great things. i know.
zac,
i don't think you'll ever see this. haha. less chance than marc:P but at times you really act much more mature than me. you teach me how to love, how to care. teach me how to give, how to forgive. you're a little bro i'm really proud of, even though i find it so hard to verbalize that and tell you how proud and happy i am to have you as a little bro. i'm truly not a worthy reflection of who you are, i have a long way to go. i see you growing up and i know that i've been a bad influence to you, i know that i'm one of the reasons why you haven't been able to reach your full potential. and i really regret. but i believe in you. i really do.
mum,
i'm sorry for being such a lousy son. honestly, i know what a lousy child i am. i've always wanted to change. always. ever since p5, i always promised myself that i'd change. and i would. for 1 or 2 days. and i just let myself go back to normal again. i always tell myself how you or daddy don't understand me, but i realised that's because i havent allowed you to. time and again you've tried to reach out to me but i just rejected you time and again. i will change. i have to. and i promise it'll last this time. thank you for always forgiving me, always still loving me.you were right in saying i'm ungrateful in the past. i truly was. i was rude. i had a bad attitude. i was cold. quiet. uncaring. i had my reasons, i wouldn't say they were all invalid. but i'm sorry. cause i was truly, the key problem.
dad,
i've always looked up to you. i don't know what to say. you've just started to build relationships with me. and you've no idea how much it touches me. i was always happy to be able to talk to you. you and mummy.. are still stuck in the traditional ways. you show me love through providing me with the best that you can offer. thank you.
abby,
thank you for being a sister to me. one who wants the best for me. one who believes in me. many times you showed me how i was truly acting, how immature i was, how foolish i was, and you showed me the way back to God! and you were the only one who truly cared enough to always point me back to Jesus. always. thank you for being real, being honest. thank you for having taken time to talk to me, spend time with me. you're true family to me:)
victoria,
thank you for being someone who could understand, someone who cared. someone who was willing to make time! for that i can never thank you enough. although things have changed, you're truly still someone that i really treasure. thank you for being so honest, open with me, for trusting me, for being willing to share with me. thank you for the close friendship that we had, but yet one in which so many mistakes were made and we did have to pay. i'm sorry, and thank you. you're still, an awesome friend.
jayna,
my friendship with you is probably the longest close friendship i have had since entering megalife. you are, truly. an inspiration. i do still remember your sharing with me about your past, all the stuff you did. and i look at where you are today, and i'm truly amazed. how God works, how God works. and how God is working! thank you for having turned me to Jesus at times, and having been there at low moments in my life. continue to let God mould you, use you, change you. i trust that you'll grow to become the awesome shephard that God has called you to be:)
natalieyeo,
you're a really awesome heart, really humble, really God seeking and it's really. wow:) what strikes me most is really how humble you are, never seeking for self but really all for God. thanks for being a leader to me, thanks for being someone who believed in me, being someone who is always looking out for others. you've blessed my life in ways more than i could count! in many subtle ways too, some which i may not have noticed but in which you've left an impact on me:)
christabel,
thanks for always being so hyperactive and brightening everyone's day:) haha even though i do tease you about things like your height and stuff, you're someone i do look up to:) someone who always puts others before you, too. you, natalie and christie really have shown me the heart of servanthood which has really blessed me ever since we served together in P6 ministry last year. just that well, christie's the quietest, natalie's in between, and you're the loudest :P
christie,
fellow helper! well didn't really know you for like the past 1 year i've known you, started to get to know you just recently and yeah. it's been amazing:) you're someone who always manages to find positives in others, always sees the good in others. and you're really bubbly too, brightening many lives:) i believe you were the one who really led me to complete the season of change. your blog posts really impacted me greatly. cause yeah, from the way you wrote on your blog it really seemed like you were going through somewhat the same thing as i was only your attitude was different. only you chose to praise, only you chose to believe, only you chose to always look to God and that was what i needed to do. and when i did it, that really changed me. love your art too, it's really really awesome stuff:)
ryan chew,
you're someone who's really passionate in serving God. but one way in which you've blessed me so greatly is your humble heart. you're always humble, never seeking to see good in yourself but good in others. you're really nice, too! someone who makes people around you feel really good, really happy. it's been really great knowing you:) even though we always do stupid stuff and all with jasper, you really know when to be serious and when to be crazy. haha! thanks for being a friend man:)
jasper tan,
smallest kid amongst three of us. haha. you really seem older than you are man! physically and in terms of maturity level:) you're someone who's like ryan too, really humble and know when to be serious and when to have fun kinda thing. you're the sleepy head, you're the err. more reserved one amongst three of us. haha. but you've blessed me greatly:)
these are the people that i hold closely to my heart:) thank you all, for blessing me greatly at different seasons of my life. some in more seasons than one! you guys are awesome:)
to those who weren't mentioned, you guys have blessed me in many ways, too. thank you:).