In Your Arms
(PG-13) ~2,700
Author: Jjonghoeing
Pairing: Jonghyun x Minho
Genre: Angst
Summary: Jonghyun is jealous.
This is an angst fic. It's 2:20AM and I'm tired. LMFAO but I guess this was worth it. It's rated for language. LMFAO. I can never stray from the word fuck.
Jonghyun smiled weakly as Minho handed him a cup of hot, jasmine tea to calm his nerves. “Do you really think I’ll do well tomorrow?” he asked as he sipped the tea, almost burning his tongue in the process.
“Of course, hyung. You’re great at singing,” Minho replied, not even looking at Jonghyun as he took out his phone and crossed his legs.
Jonghyun pouted and set his cup down. “It doesn’t really sound like you’re all that sincere.”
Because Minho had been catering to him all day due to the fact that Jonghyun was so incredibly nervous about his performance tomorrow, he became a bit sensitive about Minho’s lack of attention to him. “Who are you texting?” Jonghyun asked, trying to sound nonchalant to cover his semi-annoyed feelings.
“No one,” Minho said as his put his phone back in his pocket. He then unfolded his legs and lifted his head to look at Jonghyun. He smiled and poured himself some tea. “I actually really like your voice hyung.”
He sounded sincere that time. His smile made it sincere. His big eyes and long lashes made it sincere. The locks falling into his face made it sincere. His slow breathing made it sincere. Ugh, it was impossible to not believe him. Jonghyun was a fucking sucker for Minho’s eyelashes fluttering; he was a sucker for anything Minho did. And now he was just believing Minho’s shit. He was probably a terrible singer, huh? His voice probably cracked and he was probably off tune on the song he chose to sing, huh? Oh god oh god oh god, Jonghyun thought. I can’t do this, he thought. I’m the worst singer on the fucking planet and Minho is just trying to oil me up for sex and fuck I’m just gonna kill myself and-
Jonghyun coughed, tea sputtering from his lungs. He stood up and clutched his throat, hacking out the hot liquid that went down the wrong pipe. He felt Minho’s arms wrap around him and hold a glass of cold water to his lips. Jonghyun drank and slowly his coughing spasms died down. He closed his eyes tightly, hoping to fucking God that his throat didn’t burn.
Minho looked at the older man with concern. “Hyung, are you alright?” he asked, his eyes wide as he touched Jonghyun’s face and rubbed a droplet of tea off of his chin.
“Y-yeah, I’m fine…” Jonghyun said, voice still a bit raspy.
“Oh, good.” Minho said.
Silence quickly filled the room.
“Does this mean that you can’t s-” he began.
“Does this mean I can’t suck your dick tonight? Yes.” Jonghyun said, rolling his eyes and gaining his voice back in the process of his retorting.
Minho’s mouth formed a tight line. Why was Jonghyun in such a fucking pissy mood? “I was going to ask if this meant you couldn’t sing.”
“Of course I can fucking sing.” Jonghyun said, angrily. “Wait, do you even think I can sing? Do you even fucking believe in me?! Was this tea…oh god…was it all a ploy to burn my throat? So then I couldn’t sing? Tell the truth, Minho! Can I sing or can’t I?!” he yelled, standing up with tears running down his face.
Minho stood up almost as fast as Jonghyun did, knocking his chair over in the process. “Of course you can fucking sing! Your voice is like fucking honey and I don’t get how you could even THINK for ONE SECOND that it wasn’t!”
Minho angrily grabbed Jonghyun by the shoulders. He held him there, staring into his eyes. “Your voice is amazing. You’re amazing.” He let that sink in for a minute. “There’s a reason we’re together. And there’s a reason I love you. And if you couldn’t sing-fuck. I would just tell you.” He kissed the older man gently on the lips. “Okay?” he said softly, his voice changing from loud and angry to quiet and soothing as their lips detached. “Believe in yourself,” Minho said. “Please.”
Jonghyun smiled and brought Minho closer to hug him. “Thank you,” he said softly into Minho’s ear, tightening his hold around Minho’s body. “Thank you, so much,” he said again, right as Minho’s phone buzzed-making the younger male let go of Jonghyun and take out his phone from his back pocket.
6:03PM; 1 New Text_from_[Donghae Hyung!<3]
meet me at da coffee shop in 5? we have 2 talk. dun tel jonghyun tho, he’ll freak!!! we cunt let him find out anythin O.K. minho-bun?^^
6:04PM; Reply_to_[Donghae hyung!<3]
of courz i wont tell jjong! keke he dunt suspekt a thing. dun worry doonngie, we can do watever we want! he will neva find out :-)
Minho whistled-he never whistled-as he put his phone back in his pocket and got his jacket off of a coat rack. “Hyung, I have to go somewhere for a minute. Finish your tea and go to sleep okay? Hwaiting!” Minho fist pumped the air and smiled as he turned around and left the house.
Jonghyun looked down and picked up his cup of tea. He sighed and sat down, now alone. He brought the cup to his mouth and drank a bit. It was cold.
Jonghyun shut his eyes tight and chugged down the rest of the cup. Even though it was cold, he thought, he’d drink it for Minho.
Even though he hated jasmine tea, he thought, he’d drink it for Minho-because that was Minho’s favorite.
--
Jonghyun looked at the clock as he slowly climbed into bed. It was 11:38PM. Minho still wasn’t back. Jonghyun sighed and turned off the lamp on his bedside table. He had hoped to be able to get a few encouraging words from the younger before they went to sleep. He wanted to sleep with good feelings, since tomorrow would be such an important day for him. But Minho wasn’t here. He was somewhere…somewhere Jonghyun didn’t know. He had left Jonghyun in his time of need…for some unknown place. Jonghyun closed his eyes and turned as he fluffed his pillow, frustrated.
“I need you,” Jonghyun whispered into the darkness of their two-man room of only one occupant tonight. “I need you so much,” Jonghyun choked out, this time tears running down his face.
Minho had been gone nearly 6 hours. Where could he have gone? Jonghyun didn’t know. Would he be back in the morning? Hopefully. Was he with his other friends? Most likely. Maybe he was getting Jonghyun a present? No, that was unlikely. Was he cheating on him? Jonghyun shuddered at the thought. No. Minho wasn’t cheating on him. He wouldn’t do that. He was Minho. He would always be by Jonghyun’s side through thick and thin. No matter how much of a bastard Jonghyun became, Minho would still love him. He would. He would still love him.
…Right?
Jonghyun rolled over onto Minho’s side of the bed and buried his head into Minho’s pillow. It smelled like Minho; the musty, manly, natural and clean smell of Minho. He hugged the air next to him, trying to imagine it was younger man and that he was smelling the real Minho at the moment. Jonghyun buried his head into Minho’s shoulder and caressed his sculpted abdominals softly with his fingers. They ran along the contours of his abs, tracing them and exploring them. Jonghyun sighed as his nostrils filled with Minho. Jonghyun chuckled to himself as he recalled Minho waking up wet the other day. He held Minho tighter, his body relaxing against the younger man’s in a comfortable position. He sighed, this time happy, and fell asleep that way.
He fell asleep, hugging the empty air next to him. He fell asleep, his head buried into the man that wasn’t there. He fell asleep, tears running down his face.
--
Jonghyun woke up, happy to see that the other half of the bed next to him-which was usually his side of the bed-was filled with a sleeping Minho. He smiled and leaned over to kiss the younger man on his lips. He tasted like chicken.
Jonghyun chuckled. He probably hadn’t brushed his teeth before going to bed. He laughed quietly again at Minho’s forgetfulness as he ran a hand through the younger’s hair before getting out of bed to prepare for his performance.
--
Jonghyun smiled at Donghae.
“You’ll do great, Jonghyun!” he yelled in his face loudly, even though he was standing right there.
Jonghyun’s smile became wider as he covered his ears. “You’re so loud!” he yelled back, laughing.
“Not as loud as Minho in bed!” Donghae said, laughing even harder.
Jonghyun’s nose crinkled as he smelled stale chicken on Donghae’s breath.
Chicken.
Stale.
Stale chicken.
Breath.
Donghae.
Stale chicken breath.
Donghae has stale chicken breath.
Jonghyun’s eyes narrowed. “Minho in bed?” he asked, his heart suddenly being squeezed by an unknown force.
Donghae’s laughter stopped. “Yeah…you said Minho was really loud like two weeks ago when we were drinking beer by the fire?” he said, explaining. “You even said one time you made him call you oppa and-”
“Jonghyun! You’re on~” Onew said, smiling as he handed Jonghyun the mic. “Don’t worry, you’ll do fine. You’re only singing for like 500 high schoolers anyway.”
Jonghyun gave Onew a faint smile as he took the mic and walked up the steps to the stage. He didn’t have time to process anything Donghae had said, or anything Onew had said.
All he could think of was Minho.
All he could think of was Donghae.
All he could think of was Minho and Donghae.
Them.
The both of them…
Together.
“And now, please welcome, Kim Jonghyun!!!!” The principal shouted, clapping as he turned around to greet the singer.
Why were they together?
The piano started playing.
Together... alone.
Jonghyun gripped the mic tightly.
For 6 hours.
Fuck what were the lyrics…?
And if they both smelled like chicken…?
The crowd started murmuring, wondering why the piano was on loop for what seemed like 30 seconds already.
Did they eat dinner together?
The principal shot him a worried look. Why hadn’t he started the song?
Even though Jonghyun had cooked Minho kimchi fried rice before he left? He bit his lip and dropped the mic on the stage. The piano stopped and the crowd grew loud with confusion.
Jonghyun walked off stage, eyes blurry with some kind of salty liquid. He walked fast-a bit too fast to catch what Onew said…it was something like, “It’s okay~ everyone gets stage fright…”
Jonghyun snorted as he went back stage and into the dressing room. He searched for a bright red bag and found it right away.
It was Donghae’s backpack.
He found the cell phone right away.
It was an iPhone.
He scrolled through texts, mostly containing the title, “From [BELOVED MinfuckHOE~].”
Jonghyun choked back tears as he read through the texts, skipping the replies from Donghae.
[BELOVED MinfuckHOE~ 12:45AM:] thx for tonite hyung :)
[BELOVED MinfuckHOE~ 12:47AM:] i rly liked everthin u did hehe
[BELOVED MinfuckHOE~ 12:49AM:] o nottin just got home n jjong is sleepin
[BELOVED MinfuckHOE~ 12:51AM:] i dun think he minds meh stayin out late tho hyung
[BELOVED MinfuckHOE~ 12:53AM:] we cun definitely do it again ;)
[BELOVED MinfuckHOE~ 12:55AM:] ya we’re still on 4 tomorro rite
[BELOVED MinfuckHOE~ 12:57AM:] ok good lol we cun do it whilez jjong is singin
[BELOVED MinfuckHOE~ 1:00 AM:] ok goin to sleep gn
[BELOVED MinfuckHOE~ 1:03 AM:] luv u 2 hyung lolz
[BELOVED MinfuckHOE~ 1:05 AM:] yes im wearin da underwear ok gn….sleeep
[BELOVED MinfuckHOE~ 1:07 AM:] its not wet anymo so it ok lol
[BELOVED MinfuckHOE~ 1:08 AM:] ttyl
Jonghyun closed the phone and tried to breathe. He gasped as air crashed into his lungs. He hadn’t realized he’d been holding his breath. Jonghyun dropped the phone on the ground, somehow not remembering it was expensive and that it wasn’t even his. He got up and mindlessly left the dressing room, heading for the stairs.
Maybe he’d find Minho there.
Maybe he’d find the love of his life there…on the roof.
He sniffled as he heard angry high school students in the background saying things like, “I paid three bucks for that shit?” or “That guy is a pussy,” or “Wow…he was so ugly and untalented!”
Not only had he let down that school, but he let himself down. This was his dream. To sing. To sing in front of people. It was his dream to become known and to perform for people. He wanted to let his voice out. He wanted people to listen to him.
And, now, Minho was betraying him?
After all they’d been through?
Was it nothing to Minho? The 3 years of friendship? The one year of chasing around gay feelings? The added year of finally dating each other? Their first kiss? Their first time? Their first fight? When they moved in together? When they got engaged? Was Minho really giving that all up? Had he gotten bored of Jonghyun? Had Jonghyun become too naggy, too annoying, and too much of a burden? It was all his fault, wasn’t it? It was cause of his moodswings, wasn’t it? Was Donghae better looking? Did he cook better? Did he top better? Did he bottom better? Did he fucking suck dick better? Did Minho picture Donghae when Jonghyun and him had sex the other day? Was that why he was so loud? Was that why Donghae brought it up? Because he was really the one to make Minho make those noises and not Jonghyun?
Was this all a fucking joke?
Was Minho faking it this whole time?
How long had they even been together behind Jonghyun’s back?
How could Minho fucking do this to him?!
What happened to the time they baked a cake together?
What happened to their first carnival ride, their kisses tasting like sweet cotton candy?
What happened to the heated kiss in the dirty bathroom stall of their all-boys school?
What the fuck happened to the lounging in the park on Summer nights?
What happened to the happiness?
The trust?
The love?
What happened to the two of them?
Did they even love each other?
Did Minho even love him?
Was their relationship…a lie? Jonghyun thought, tears running down his face for the 3rd time in 24 hours.
Jonghyun looked down at the 20 stories of scary hell staring back up at him. He looked down, wondering why the roof of a school was so high. He looked down and closed his eyes, picturing Minho’s arms and a nice fluffy pillow below him. He took a step off the ledge and leaned forward, his weight now off balance. He smiled and breathed in. He could smell Minho; the musty, manly, natural and clean scent of Minho. He could feel him; he could feel his abs. He could hug him; he could hold him. Jonghyun reached around the air and held Minho tightly. He buried his face into Minho’s shoulder and wrapped his arms around his torso. He breathed in again and swallowed Minho’s scent. He held Minho tighter, his body relaxing against the younger man’s in a comfortable position. He was happy to have him in his arms. He was happy to have him there to hold.
Jonghyun held on tightly as he fell 20 stories down into the hard ground of concrete below him. He held on tightly to the man he loved. He held on tightly to the man he needed. He held on tightly to the man who wasn’t there.
He opened his eyes a few seconds before impact and saw the man. His eyes opened wider as he saw him with a cake in his hands, the words, “Great Performance! I love you!” written on it along with balloons and a bunch of his old friends from high school standing behind it. Jonghyun sucked in a breath, his hair flying back and forth, his heart twisting even more as he hit the ground, making a loud CRACK! noise.
Author: Jjonghoeing
Pairing: Jonghyun x Minho
Genre: Angst
Summary: Jonghyun is jealous.
This is an angst fic. It's 2:20AM and I'm tired. LMFAO but I guess this was worth it. It's rated for language. LMFAO. I can never stray from the word fuck.
Jonghyun smiled weakly as Minho handed him a cup of hot, jasmine tea to calm his nerves. “Do you really think I’ll do well tomorrow?” he asked as he sipped the tea, almost burning his tongue in the process.
“Of course, hyung. You’re great at singing,” Minho replied, not even looking at Jonghyun as he took out his phone and crossed his legs.
Jonghyun pouted and set his cup down. “It doesn’t really sound like you’re all that sincere.”
Because Minho had been catering to him all day due to the fact that Jonghyun was so incredibly nervous about his performance tomorrow, he became a bit sensitive about Minho’s lack of attention to him. “Who are you texting?” Jonghyun asked, trying to sound nonchalant to cover his semi-annoyed feelings.
“No one,” Minho said as his put his phone back in his pocket. He then unfolded his legs and lifted his head to look at Jonghyun. He smiled and poured himself some tea. “I actually really like your voice hyung.”
He sounded sincere that time. His smile made it sincere. His big eyes and long lashes made it sincere. The locks falling into his face made it sincere. His slow breathing made it sincere. Ugh, it was impossible to not believe him. Jonghyun was a fucking sucker for Minho’s eyelashes fluttering; he was a sucker for anything Minho did. And now he was just believing Minho’s shit. He was probably a terrible singer, huh? His voice probably cracked and he was probably off tune on the song he chose to sing, huh? Oh god oh god oh god, Jonghyun thought. I can’t do this, he thought. I’m the worst singer on the fucking planet and Minho is just trying to oil me up for sex and fuck I’m just gonna kill myself and-
Jonghyun coughed, tea sputtering from his lungs. He stood up and clutched his throat, hacking out the hot liquid that went down the wrong pipe. He felt Minho’s arms wrap around him and hold a glass of cold water to his lips. Jonghyun drank and slowly his coughing spasms died down. He closed his eyes tightly, hoping to fucking God that his throat didn’t burn.
Minho looked at the older man with concern. “Hyung, are you alright?” he asked, his eyes wide as he touched Jonghyun’s face and rubbed a droplet of tea off of his chin.
“Y-yeah, I’m fine…” Jonghyun said, voice still a bit raspy.
“Oh, good.” Minho said.
Silence quickly filled the room.
“Does this mean that you can’t s-” he began.
“Does this mean I can’t suck your dick tonight? Yes.” Jonghyun said, rolling his eyes and gaining his voice back in the process of his retorting.
Minho’s mouth formed a tight line. Why was Jonghyun in such a fucking pissy mood? “I was going to ask if this meant you couldn’t sing.”
“Of course I can fucking sing.” Jonghyun said, angrily. “Wait, do you even think I can sing? Do you even fucking believe in me?! Was this tea…oh god…was it all a ploy to burn my throat? So then I couldn’t sing? Tell the truth, Minho! Can I sing or can’t I?!” he yelled, standing up with tears running down his face.
Minho stood up almost as fast as Jonghyun did, knocking his chair over in the process. “Of course you can fucking sing! Your voice is like fucking honey and I don’t get how you could even THINK for ONE SECOND that it wasn’t!”
Minho angrily grabbed Jonghyun by the shoulders. He held him there, staring into his eyes. “Your voice is amazing. You’re amazing.” He let that sink in for a minute. “There’s a reason we’re together. And there’s a reason I love you. And if you couldn’t sing-fuck. I would just tell you.” He kissed the older man gently on the lips. “Okay?” he said softly, his voice changing from loud and angry to quiet and soothing as their lips detached. “Believe in yourself,” Minho said. “Please.”
Jonghyun smiled and brought Minho closer to hug him. “Thank you,” he said softly into Minho’s ear, tightening his hold around Minho’s body. “Thank you, so much,” he said again, right as Minho’s phone buzzed-making the younger male let go of Jonghyun and take out his phone from his back pocket.
6:03PM; 1 New Text_from_[Donghae Hyung!<3]
meet me at da coffee shop in 5? we have 2 talk. dun tel jonghyun tho, he’ll freak!!! we cunt let him find out anythin O.K. minho-bun?^^
6:04PM; Reply_to_[Donghae hyung!<3]
of courz i wont tell jjong! keke he dunt suspekt a thing. dun worry doonngie, we can do watever we want! he will neva find out :-)
Minho whistled-he never whistled-as he put his phone back in his pocket and got his jacket off of a coat rack. “Hyung, I have to go somewhere for a minute. Finish your tea and go to sleep okay? Hwaiting!” Minho fist pumped the air and smiled as he turned around and left the house.
Jonghyun looked down and picked up his cup of tea. He sighed and sat down, now alone. He brought the cup to his mouth and drank a bit. It was cold.
Jonghyun shut his eyes tight and chugged down the rest of the cup. Even though it was cold, he thought, he’d drink it for Minho.
Even though he hated jasmine tea, he thought, he’d drink it for Minho-because that was Minho’s favorite.
--
Jonghyun looked at the clock as he slowly climbed into bed. It was 11:38PM. Minho still wasn’t back. Jonghyun sighed and turned off the lamp on his bedside table. He had hoped to be able to get a few encouraging words from the younger before they went to sleep. He wanted to sleep with good feelings, since tomorrow would be such an important day for him. But Minho wasn’t here. He was somewhere…somewhere Jonghyun didn’t know. He had left Jonghyun in his time of need…for some unknown place. Jonghyun closed his eyes and turned as he fluffed his pillow, frustrated.
“I need you,” Jonghyun whispered into the darkness of their two-man room of only one occupant tonight. “I need you so much,” Jonghyun choked out, this time tears running down his face.
Minho had been gone nearly 6 hours. Where could he have gone? Jonghyun didn’t know. Would he be back in the morning? Hopefully. Was he with his other friends? Most likely. Maybe he was getting Jonghyun a present? No, that was unlikely. Was he cheating on him? Jonghyun shuddered at the thought. No. Minho wasn’t cheating on him. He wouldn’t do that. He was Minho. He would always be by Jonghyun’s side through thick and thin. No matter how much of a bastard Jonghyun became, Minho would still love him. He would. He would still love him.
…Right?
Jonghyun rolled over onto Minho’s side of the bed and buried his head into Minho’s pillow. It smelled like Minho; the musty, manly, natural and clean smell of Minho. He hugged the air next to him, trying to imagine it was younger man and that he was smelling the real Minho at the moment. Jonghyun buried his head into Minho’s shoulder and caressed his sculpted abdominals softly with his fingers. They ran along the contours of his abs, tracing them and exploring them. Jonghyun sighed as his nostrils filled with Minho. Jonghyun chuckled to himself as he recalled Minho waking up wet the other day. He held Minho tighter, his body relaxing against the younger man’s in a comfortable position. He sighed, this time happy, and fell asleep that way.
He fell asleep, hugging the empty air next to him. He fell asleep, his head buried into the man that wasn’t there. He fell asleep, tears running down his face.
--
Jonghyun woke up, happy to see that the other half of the bed next to him-which was usually his side of the bed-was filled with a sleeping Minho. He smiled and leaned over to kiss the younger man on his lips. He tasted like chicken.
Jonghyun chuckled. He probably hadn’t brushed his teeth before going to bed. He laughed quietly again at Minho’s forgetfulness as he ran a hand through the younger’s hair before getting out of bed to prepare for his performance.
--
Jonghyun smiled at Donghae.
“You’ll do great, Jonghyun!” he yelled in his face loudly, even though he was standing right there.
Jonghyun’s smile became wider as he covered his ears. “You’re so loud!” he yelled back, laughing.
“Not as loud as Minho in bed!” Donghae said, laughing even harder.
Jonghyun’s nose crinkled as he smelled stale chicken on Donghae’s breath.
Chicken.
Stale.
Stale chicken.
Breath.
Donghae.
Stale chicken breath.
Donghae has stale chicken breath.
Jonghyun’s eyes narrowed. “Minho in bed?” he asked, his heart suddenly being squeezed by an unknown force.
Donghae’s laughter stopped. “Yeah…you said Minho was really loud like two weeks ago when we were drinking beer by the fire?” he said, explaining. “You even said one time you made him call you oppa and-”
“Jonghyun! You’re on~” Onew said, smiling as he handed Jonghyun the mic. “Don’t worry, you’ll do fine. You’re only singing for like 500 high schoolers anyway.”
Jonghyun gave Onew a faint smile as he took the mic and walked up the steps to the stage. He didn’t have time to process anything Donghae had said, or anything Onew had said.
All he could think of was Minho.
All he could think of was Donghae.
All he could think of was Minho and Donghae.
Them.
The both of them…
Together.
“And now, please welcome, Kim Jonghyun!!!!” The principal shouted, clapping as he turned around to greet the singer.
Why were they together?
The piano started playing.
Together... alone.
Jonghyun gripped the mic tightly.
For 6 hours.
Fuck what were the lyrics…?
And if they both smelled like chicken…?
The crowd started murmuring, wondering why the piano was on loop for what seemed like 30 seconds already.
Did they eat dinner together?
The principal shot him a worried look. Why hadn’t he started the song?
Even though Jonghyun had cooked Minho kimchi fried rice before he left? He bit his lip and dropped the mic on the stage. The piano stopped and the crowd grew loud with confusion.
Jonghyun walked off stage, eyes blurry with some kind of salty liquid. He walked fast-a bit too fast to catch what Onew said…it was something like, “It’s okay~ everyone gets stage fright…”
Jonghyun snorted as he went back stage and into the dressing room. He searched for a bright red bag and found it right away.
It was Donghae’s backpack.
He found the cell phone right away.
It was an iPhone.
He scrolled through texts, mostly containing the title, “From [BELOVED MinfuckHOE~].”
Jonghyun choked back tears as he read through the texts, skipping the replies from Donghae.
[BELOVED MinfuckHOE~ 12:45AM:] thx for tonite hyung :)
[BELOVED MinfuckHOE~ 12:47AM:] i rly liked everthin u did hehe
[BELOVED MinfuckHOE~ 12:49AM:] o nottin just got home n jjong is sleepin
[BELOVED MinfuckHOE~ 12:51AM:] i dun think he minds meh stayin out late tho hyung
[BELOVED MinfuckHOE~ 12:53AM:] we cun definitely do it again ;)
[BELOVED MinfuckHOE~ 12:55AM:] ya we’re still on 4 tomorro rite
[BELOVED MinfuckHOE~ 12:57AM:] ok good lol we cun do it whilez jjong is singin
[BELOVED MinfuckHOE~ 1:00 AM:] ok goin to sleep gn
[BELOVED MinfuckHOE~ 1:03 AM:] luv u 2 hyung lolz
[BELOVED MinfuckHOE~ 1:05 AM:] yes im wearin da underwear ok gn….sleeep
[BELOVED MinfuckHOE~ 1:07 AM:] its not wet anymo so it ok lol
[BELOVED MinfuckHOE~ 1:08 AM:] ttyl
Jonghyun closed the phone and tried to breathe. He gasped as air crashed into his lungs. He hadn’t realized he’d been holding his breath. Jonghyun dropped the phone on the ground, somehow not remembering it was expensive and that it wasn’t even his. He got up and mindlessly left the dressing room, heading for the stairs.
Maybe he’d find Minho there.
Maybe he’d find the love of his life there…on the roof.
He sniffled as he heard angry high school students in the background saying things like, “I paid three bucks for that shit?” or “That guy is a pussy,” or “Wow…he was so ugly and untalented!”
Not only had he let down that school, but he let himself down. This was his dream. To sing. To sing in front of people. It was his dream to become known and to perform for people. He wanted to let his voice out. He wanted people to listen to him.
And, now, Minho was betraying him?
After all they’d been through?
Was it nothing to Minho? The 3 years of friendship? The one year of chasing around gay feelings? The added year of finally dating each other? Their first kiss? Their first time? Their first fight? When they moved in together? When they got engaged? Was Minho really giving that all up? Had he gotten bored of Jonghyun? Had Jonghyun become too naggy, too annoying, and too much of a burden? It was all his fault, wasn’t it? It was cause of his moodswings, wasn’t it? Was Donghae better looking? Did he cook better? Did he top better? Did he bottom better? Did he fucking suck dick better? Did Minho picture Donghae when Jonghyun and him had sex the other day? Was that why he was so loud? Was that why Donghae brought it up? Because he was really the one to make Minho make those noises and not Jonghyun?
Was this all a fucking joke?
Was Minho faking it this whole time?
How long had they even been together behind Jonghyun’s back?
How could Minho fucking do this to him?!
What happened to the time they baked a cake together?
What happened to their first carnival ride, their kisses tasting like sweet cotton candy?
What happened to the heated kiss in the dirty bathroom stall of their all-boys school?
What the fuck happened to the lounging in the park on Summer nights?
What happened to the happiness?
The trust?
The love?
What happened to the two of them?
Did they even love each other?
Did Minho even love him?
Was their relationship…a lie? Jonghyun thought, tears running down his face for the 3rd time in 24 hours.
Jonghyun looked down at the 20 stories of scary hell staring back up at him. He looked down, wondering why the roof of a school was so high. He looked down and closed his eyes, picturing Minho’s arms and a nice fluffy pillow below him. He took a step off the ledge and leaned forward, his weight now off balance. He smiled and breathed in. He could smell Minho; the musty, manly, natural and clean scent of Minho. He could feel him; he could feel his abs. He could hug him; he could hold him. Jonghyun reached around the air and held Minho tightly. He buried his face into Minho’s shoulder and wrapped his arms around his torso. He breathed in again and swallowed Minho’s scent. He held Minho tighter, his body relaxing against the younger man’s in a comfortable position. He was happy to have him in his arms. He was happy to have him there to hold.
Jonghyun held on tightly as he fell 20 stories down into the hard ground of concrete below him. He held on tightly to the man he loved. He held on tightly to the man he needed. He held on tightly to the man who wasn’t there.
He opened his eyes a few seconds before impact and saw the man. His eyes opened wider as he saw him with a cake in his hands, the words, “Great Performance! I love you!” written on it along with balloons and a bunch of his old friends from high school standing behind it. Jonghyun sucked in a breath, his hair flying back and forth, his heart twisting even more as he hit the ground, making a loud CRACK! noise.