For the Best (Milo/Rick)
This is the first story that I have actually finished outside of high school!
But I was inspired by two of annievh's prompts for the Small Fandom Fest - “Rick hates kids” and “painful breakup”.
I find it hard to grade my own work, so I hope that it’s okay!
Bold is from Milo's POV.
He wasn’t sure when he first realized it but Rick knew for certain that he never wanted kids. That point had been driven home during his doomed marriage while waiting for the results of a home pregnancy test.
It wasn’t even just about bringing a baby into the lie he was living at the time. The therapist that Milo made fun of had helped him realize that it was because he wasn’t fully at ease with himself. He was gay. He could say it, could think it without shame or guilt most of the time. But he wasn’t fully at peace with what that meant, especially in terms of his family and his religion. He might never be. And while he couldn’t be at peace with himself he would never be ready to have or to raise a child.
Milo wanted kids. He was good with kids. It hurt to think about how amazing a father Milo would be and how he was losing out on so much by staying with Rick.
And while it had taken him a long time to come to terms with it, Rick knew what he had to do now. He had to break Milo’s heart to set him free.
The keys in the door did nothing to settle his nerves. Neither did the vodka he’d taken from Milo’s stash. But there was no backing down now.
Having woken up when Rick left for work way too early this morning, Milo was surprised to still see him up. He was even more surprised to see Rick drinking his vodka as Rick was more the wine drinker. It was funny to see him drinking it from a wine glass, like it made it classy. Maybe it did. What did Milo know?
“Hey,” Milo called as he came into the living room. “Didn’t realize you’d still be up.”
“I wanted to wait for you.”
“Yeah?”
Rick hated himself for moving back from the kiss Milo was about to press onto his forehead as he joined Rick on the couch. “Yeah. We need to talk.” That’s how people started these things, right?
“Talk about?” There was a wariness in Milo’s voice that Rick instinctively wanted to make better.
“I want you to know that I love you, Milo. And that I am so sorry.” Rick could tell that Milo knew what he was about to say but forced himself to say the words anyways. “I never meant for it to happen.”
He didn’t need Rick to say the words to know what they’d be. He’d been expecting to hear them long before now. But things had been going well; they’d been happy together, he’d thought. He should have known that he couldn’t make it last.
“Who?
He’d hoped that Milo wouldn’t ask but he’d gotten a story ready in case. “One of the doctors who was down visiting from New York.”
“Was it just once?”
Rick nodded, hoping that this way maybe wouldn’t hurt as much. Either way, he knew Milo wouldn’t forgive him, but a one-time fling maybe wouldn’t be as bad as some prolonged affair.
He hadn’t decided on how Milo would react but he thinks he’s prepared himself for everything. If he’d been a betting man he would have picked yelling. They’d always had their fair share of arguments during their relationship so this just seemed like one more thing they’d argue about.
But Milo didn’t yell. He just looked at Rick with a cold look - one that Rick could well imagine countless suspects being on the receiving end of as well - before getting up and walking away with an angry, “I’ll be back for my stuff later.”
Rick held himself together until he heard the front door slamming shut.
It was hard to get his breathing under control though, again, the vodka wasn’t helping. Honestly, the vodka was probably the only thing keeping him from calling Milo and confessing his lie.
This was for the best.
It was hard to believe that over the pain of his heart breaking.
But this was for Milo. Milo who deserved someone who wanted the same things out of life as he did. And if Rick had to sacrifice his own happiness to give Milo that chance then he would. Because he loved Milo more than anything else in the world.
In the car is when it really hits. Before, his questions, leaving, pointing the car in Alex’s direction, it was all auto-pilot. Alone in the car and his thoughts catch up with him.
He’d always said infidelity was a deal breaker, like he was the kind of guy who deserved better than that. Rick was the best thing that had ever come into his life and if Rick didn’t think that he was worth it anymore, then where did that leave him?
But I was inspired by two of annievh's prompts for the Small Fandom Fest - “Rick hates kids” and “painful breakup”.
I find it hard to grade my own work, so I hope that it’s okay!
Bold is from Milo's POV.
He wasn’t sure when he first realized it but Rick knew for certain that he never wanted kids. That point had been driven home during his doomed marriage while waiting for the results of a home pregnancy test.
It wasn’t even just about bringing a baby into the lie he was living at the time. The therapist that Milo made fun of had helped him realize that it was because he wasn’t fully at ease with himself. He was gay. He could say it, could think it without shame or guilt most of the time. But he wasn’t fully at peace with what that meant, especially in terms of his family and his religion. He might never be. And while he couldn’t be at peace with himself he would never be ready to have or to raise a child.
Milo wanted kids. He was good with kids. It hurt to think about how amazing a father Milo would be and how he was losing out on so much by staying with Rick.
And while it had taken him a long time to come to terms with it, Rick knew what he had to do now. He had to break Milo’s heart to set him free.
The keys in the door did nothing to settle his nerves. Neither did the vodka he’d taken from Milo’s stash. But there was no backing down now.
Having woken up when Rick left for work way too early this morning, Milo was surprised to still see him up. He was even more surprised to see Rick drinking his vodka as Rick was more the wine drinker. It was funny to see him drinking it from a wine glass, like it made it classy. Maybe it did. What did Milo know?
“Hey,” Milo called as he came into the living room. “Didn’t realize you’d still be up.”
“I wanted to wait for you.”
“Yeah?”
Rick hated himself for moving back from the kiss Milo was about to press onto his forehead as he joined Rick on the couch. “Yeah. We need to talk.” That’s how people started these things, right?
“Talk about?” There was a wariness in Milo’s voice that Rick instinctively wanted to make better.
“I want you to know that I love you, Milo. And that I am so sorry.” Rick could tell that Milo knew what he was about to say but forced himself to say the words anyways. “I never meant for it to happen.”
He didn’t need Rick to say the words to know what they’d be. He’d been expecting to hear them long before now. But things had been going well; they’d been happy together, he’d thought. He should have known that he couldn’t make it last.
“Who?
He’d hoped that Milo wouldn’t ask but he’d gotten a story ready in case. “One of the doctors who was down visiting from New York.”
“Was it just once?”
Rick nodded, hoping that this way maybe wouldn’t hurt as much. Either way, he knew Milo wouldn’t forgive him, but a one-time fling maybe wouldn’t be as bad as some prolonged affair.
He hadn’t decided on how Milo would react but he thinks he’s prepared himself for everything. If he’d been a betting man he would have picked yelling. They’d always had their fair share of arguments during their relationship so this just seemed like one more thing they’d argue about.
But Milo didn’t yell. He just looked at Rick with a cold look - one that Rick could well imagine countless suspects being on the receiving end of as well - before getting up and walking away with an angry, “I’ll be back for my stuff later.”
Rick held himself together until he heard the front door slamming shut.
It was hard to get his breathing under control though, again, the vodka wasn’t helping. Honestly, the vodka was probably the only thing keeping him from calling Milo and confessing his lie.
This was for the best.
It was hard to believe that over the pain of his heart breaking.
But this was for Milo. Milo who deserved someone who wanted the same things out of life as he did. And if Rick had to sacrifice his own happiness to give Milo that chance then he would. Because he loved Milo more than anything else in the world.
In the car is when it really hits. Before, his questions, leaving, pointing the car in Alex’s direction, it was all auto-pilot. Alone in the car and his thoughts catch up with him.
He’d always said infidelity was a deal breaker, like he was the kind of guy who deserved better than that. Rick was the best thing that had ever come into his life and if Rick didn’t think that he was worth it anymore, then where did that leave him?