ok...i hate bein' female...i hate bein' sensitive..i hate being dramatic...and most of all i hate tryin' to please everyone and i hate feelin' like the odd man out....
drama w/ peyton...just drama on both ends...i was talkin' to my friend shanise about it last nite...i'm just tired of the inconsistancy of our relationship...cause it shouldn't be like that since we have talked about this...sometimes he acts jealous sometimes he acts like he doesn't care...he's takin' advantage...and strangely enough i feel like somethings he ask me to do i have to because he just spent 700 bucks on me this weekend...i know he didn't ask for anything in return...and then long story short there is this party/prom thing sat that he is takiin' his "sister" w/ him and i was invited but the invite was sent to the wrong email and because i want more from him i got really hurt we had an argument and he's kinda upset at me and sayin how he didn't expect all this drama from me...i'm starting to wonder if when he told me he could see himself dating me if he just said it to be nice...which is complete bull shit cause just tell me u only feel for me as a friend...i would totally repsect that then havin' this hope that maybe if i
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maybe u should try to have some peyton free time for a while... y did he spend 700 dollars on u? that seems a bit ridiculous... u need to try to surround urself with people that r going to be real with you at all times... that's probably easier said then done but... if he doesn't want to be with u now.. he probably never will and even if eventually he would... i don't think it's fair for you to have to sit there and wait on him and wait for him to make up his mind... he's not allowed to be jealous when u dance with other guys... it's not really his business so don't pay any mind to that.... that in itself is drama that is not necessary...
he bought me the new treo palm pilot phone and he got me the expansion card to go w/ it...drama about thsi party tonite everytime i tell him i'm not goin' he is like no i want u there...i don't want to go cause he invited jenn and whenever jenn is around he treats me different and i am really feelin' sensitive right now so i don't want to be w/ him all day again...and at a formal occasion where i don't have an escort and he does...i was talkin' to ms. mili the security guard last nite and she said some things that made me think about stuff i had already thought about but none the less i thought about them again...that is what my latest blog is about...and no it's not fair that he wants me to wait around and always be there...he wants me to move to nashville w/ him and live w/ him...i don't even want to go to nashville...and he wants me everywhere...yet he doesn't pay attention to me sometimes...he wants me to live w/ him and jenn this summer and wants me to live w/ him in the fall....y do u want me to live w/ u adn follow u around?
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y did he spend 700 dollars on u? that seems a bit ridiculous...
u need to try to surround urself with people that r going to be real with you at all times... that's probably easier said then done but...
if he doesn't want to be with u now.. he probably never will and even if eventually he would... i don't think it's fair for you to have to sit there and wait on him and wait for him to make up his mind...
he's not allowed to be jealous when u dance with other guys... it's not really his business so don't pay any mind to that.... that in itself is drama that is not necessary...
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