Fic: Perfect
Title: Perfect
Rating: G, it's all tame - don't let that be a deterrent!
Pairing: Arthur/Merlin
Word Count: 590
Warnings: None
Spoilers: None
Summary: Arthur has always been the best. He has always had to be.
Notes: Beta-d for me by the amazing kathkin. All the mistakes she pointed out, not to mention any remaining, are all mine!
Arthur has always been the best. He has always had to be. Obligation has weighed him down since before he could understand how to put a name to the feeling - a feat he still feels he should have accomplished earlier. For all his achievements, in spite of all he has been given and all he has done as the Prince of Camelot, Arthur has never felt good enough. Never felt deserving.
It is easy to point to Uther Pendragon as the reason behind Arthur’s feelings of inadequacy, and this is true, to a certain extent. Uther has never shielded Arthur. As the King of Camelot’s only son and heir, Prince Arthur has been schooled in all aspects of royalty since he was a boy. Along with lessons in jousting, sword fighting, strategy, and academia, he was taught that, above all, he is ultimately responsible for every matter concerning the Kingdom, and that failure in any aspect of governing their realm is a failure for not only himself, but for the King, the Crown, and for every person under their rule.
While this was not an easy concept for a young boy to grasp, Arthur soon understood the lesson. He has willingly shouldered his duty ever since. Even Arthur’s demeanour of merriment and overconfidence has been carefully crafted to provide Camelot with the Prince they expect: a Prince who is brave (fearless), and strong (undefeated), and loyal (without question). Someone worthy of the crown. Someone of whom his father would be proud.
Yes, Uther’s harsh child-rearing techniques must bear some blame for Arthur’s belief in his own insufficiency, but this was only the starting point. Arthur cannot remember when he was first able to identify that tight feeling in his chest as the fear of never being able to accomplish all he had to, but knows that by the time he recognises it, his character has already been irrevocably formed. While he does not always dwell on the feeling, on occasion Arthur has found himself hard pressed to live up to the expectations of his position, and of himself.
Arthur’s thoughts had traveled once more in this rather morose direction because he had failed again. Yes, they had finally defeated the Cynocephalus, the enormous creature with the body of a man and the head of a dog, but he had lost two good knights in the process, and spent the afternoon consoling their families - his responsibility. It was his fault their husbands and fathers had perished. His duty to the kingdom had been satisfied, the villages were safe once more, and even his father had been coolly congratulatory of his efforts, but to Arthur the thought of having to attend yet another feast in his honour was galling. As a direct result of his orders, two families grieved tonight, while the rest of the Kingdom celebrated. No, Arthur could not be pleased with the day’s events.
He would feast that night, regardless of his personal misgivings, and be as jovial and vibrant as was expected of him. The perfect prince.
And yet, if one of the other attendees of the feast that night seems more sombre than the occasion demands, it may be that this person knows how Arthur has spent his afternoon, and understands, at least a little, how the prince is feeling. It may be that this person, too, understands the bonds of duty - of destiny - and the responsibility it imposes. Even if Arthur is as yet unaware that his burden may not always have to be carried alone.
First fic on LJ, guys, I'm excited to be here, as well as terrified!
Rating: G, it's all tame - don't let that be a deterrent!
Pairing: Arthur/Merlin
Word Count: 590
Warnings: None
Spoilers: None
Summary: Arthur has always been the best. He has always had to be.
Notes: Beta-d for me by the amazing kathkin. All the mistakes she pointed out, not to mention any remaining, are all mine!
Arthur has always been the best. He has always had to be. Obligation has weighed him down since before he could understand how to put a name to the feeling - a feat he still feels he should have accomplished earlier. For all his achievements, in spite of all he has been given and all he has done as the Prince of Camelot, Arthur has never felt good enough. Never felt deserving.
It is easy to point to Uther Pendragon as the reason behind Arthur’s feelings of inadequacy, and this is true, to a certain extent. Uther has never shielded Arthur. As the King of Camelot’s only son and heir, Prince Arthur has been schooled in all aspects of royalty since he was a boy. Along with lessons in jousting, sword fighting, strategy, and academia, he was taught that, above all, he is ultimately responsible for every matter concerning the Kingdom, and that failure in any aspect of governing their realm is a failure for not only himself, but for the King, the Crown, and for every person under their rule.
While this was not an easy concept for a young boy to grasp, Arthur soon understood the lesson. He has willingly shouldered his duty ever since. Even Arthur’s demeanour of merriment and overconfidence has been carefully crafted to provide Camelot with the Prince they expect: a Prince who is brave (fearless), and strong (undefeated), and loyal (without question). Someone worthy of the crown. Someone of whom his father would be proud.
Yes, Uther’s harsh child-rearing techniques must bear some blame for Arthur’s belief in his own insufficiency, but this was only the starting point. Arthur cannot remember when he was first able to identify that tight feeling in his chest as the fear of never being able to accomplish all he had to, but knows that by the time he recognises it, his character has already been irrevocably formed. While he does not always dwell on the feeling, on occasion Arthur has found himself hard pressed to live up to the expectations of his position, and of himself.
Arthur’s thoughts had traveled once more in this rather morose direction because he had failed again. Yes, they had finally defeated the Cynocephalus, the enormous creature with the body of a man and the head of a dog, but he had lost two good knights in the process, and spent the afternoon consoling their families - his responsibility. It was his fault their husbands and fathers had perished. His duty to the kingdom had been satisfied, the villages were safe once more, and even his father had been coolly congratulatory of his efforts, but to Arthur the thought of having to attend yet another feast in his honour was galling. As a direct result of his orders, two families grieved tonight, while the rest of the Kingdom celebrated. No, Arthur could not be pleased with the day’s events.
He would feast that night, regardless of his personal misgivings, and be as jovial and vibrant as was expected of him. The perfect prince.
And yet, if one of the other attendees of the feast that night seems more sombre than the occasion demands, it may be that this person knows how Arthur has spent his afternoon, and understands, at least a little, how the prince is feeling. It may be that this person, too, understands the bonds of duty - of destiny - and the responsibility it imposes. Even if Arthur is as yet unaware that his burden may not always have to be carried alone.
First fic on LJ, guys, I'm excited to be here, as well as terrified!