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I wanted to be a mother. Then I wanted to be a nurse. A musician. A writer. A researcher.
At this I'm not sure what I want to do anymore.
I guess the key is to keep an open mind and be teachable. Went to the MOH career talk today, where they spoke about their own experiences of working in many different departments, each with very different ( Read more... ) -
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Things are a little overwhelming these days, especially after last week. I'm still fearful when I recall what happened, such that there is kind of a visceral adversion against lab when I think about it.
Pray. That's the only thing I can do now. -
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Second guessing myself once again. Agonizing over stupid things. "Am I being too rude." "Am I leaving a bad impression." "Am I being too annoying/dependent?" "Are things supposed to work this way." "Is this the norm." "Will my prof realize that I'm totally not progressing so far." "At which point am I supposed to be at?" "Why are my lab mates all ( Read more... ) -
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I'm so tired of being troubled and worried that not being able to feel anything might be better.
But that's quite sad too. Not being able to feel the positive side of things, not being able to appreciate a good story (that is often so bittersweet and yet I'm constantly drawn in by those). Not being able to enjoy the sense of accomplishment after ( Read more... ) -
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Feeling sian when I don't have anything to do, but also feeling sian when I have too many things to do.
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So I told my dad about what happened this afternoon. About being spoken to by a stranger auntie who offered unsollicited advice for my skin. I should have known he would simply dismiss my anger and said something about her trying to be caring ( Read more... ) -
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Took me a little too long to realize this but I need a different outlet for my anxiety, cause being anxious aggravates the scratching behaviour, not so much the itch. And in turn, scratching causes the itch, which makes me scratch more. The routine of scratch probably helps to ground me - gives me reassurance or something. Its was just a random ( Read more... ) -
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I went to UHC last wednesday to get a refill of my eczema meds and ended getting a new steriod cream that FINALLY WORKS. My back feels so smooth that it feels a little surreal, especially after weeks of waking up on a bed of flakey skin. The skin on my legs has stopped weeping and it's pretty smooth too. The whole situation was making me feel quite ( Read more... ) -
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爷爷 went to the hospital today. And it was another false alarm. Sighs. The parents are annoyed and tired. I really wonder what will happen when something real happens but because of all these we end up not believing him ( Read more... ) -
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Dreamt that I got shot. In the head hahahah. Okay, logically thinking it shouldn't be a direct impact cause I 'regained consciousness' somehow, so maybe it just grazed my head? Weird vivid dreams. I haven't had you in a while and now you are baaaack.
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