Fic: Ink-stained (Severus/Hermione, PG)
Title: Ink-stained
Author: joan_waterhouse
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairings & Characters: Hermione/young!Severus, Severus
Rating: PG
Genre: Romance, Humour, eventually light Angst
Spoilers: for PoA
Wordcount: ~ 4400 words
Summary: For Hermione it happened 5 minutes ago, but for Severus almost two decades have passed.
Disclaimer: My motivation is adoration! Everything recognizable belongs to J.K. Rowling and some big companies! Please don't sue me (I spend all my money on your merchandise anyway...)!
A/N: Apart from a handful of drabbles this is my first fanfic. I wrote it for dosomethinscary and originally posted it there. It makes me feel incredibly accomplished! *g* I hope it is enjoyable as well! :)
This should be canon compliant, apart from the fact that I completely ignore Lily.
Also, I'm pants at latin. Anyone who feels the need to point out grammatical mistakes in the two spells I invented is welcome to do so! Generally: Con-crit is always welcome!
Ink-stained
~~~~~ Experience ~~~~~
// Hogwarts - Monday, October 8th 1973 - 12:15 a.m. //
Young Severus' steps echoed on the walls of the empty classroom. The scent of recently brewed potions lingered in the air, candlelight and the eerie glow from fluorescent ingredients were the only source of light. He was glad to be in his favourite place again. It was peaceful here at lunchtime, when everybody else was busy in the Great Hall.
Severus fished a weighty tome from under his robes and placed it carefully on one of the worn tables. The feeble security-charms guarding the library had taken him only a few months to bypass. To fool the librarian had been a bit more difficult, but since he had taken his time to observe her personal habits and had been careful not to attract too much attention, it really hadn't been that hard. He now knew that at precisely 12 o'clock the library was unguarded for three minutes and forty-five seconds, in which the ever vigilant (and admittedly rather neurotic) "watchdog of the books" heeded to the call of nature. These two-hundred and twenty-five seconds had proven to be enough time for Severus to borrow a book and vanish. Returning the book to the restricted section was a bit more complicated, since this obsessive-compulsive bundle of a librarian had obviously fine-tuned her bowels and didn't leave her post for the rest of the day. Usually he smuggled those forbidden volumes back in under a stack of books he had taken out officially, retired to a desk opposite the restricted section and casually levitated them back when no one was looking. That this actually worked, shocked him every single time.
Presently he set down his ink bottle and quill with care and spread out a fresh page of parchment next to it.
Now that he once more was alone with the knowledge of power he felt at ease. It was soothing to learn, to strive to be better.
The majority of Severus' classmates could hardly have been called his friends. They relished the moments when they tried yet another way to humiliate him. But he was convinced that one day he will have acquired the tools to trump them all, if only he kept up with his secret studies.
And so Severus was too absorbed in a rather complex potions recipe to notice the noise outside of his hiding-place. Only when a small group of three impressively built fourth-years entered the room, he looked up. Severus knew them quite well. They were in his own house, but this was all the more reason to be on his guard. Slowly reaching for his wand, he waited for whatever they came up with today.
They suddenly started pointing their fingers at him and began to chant a most infantile sing-song. Even Peeves fled in embarrassment. Severus just winced. These idiots barely had the brains to come up with a decent insult! People who made a sport of teasing others rarely did. But "Snape, Snape - sour as a grape!" was an all time low.
"Oh, just sod off," he drawled and changed his wand for his quill to get on with the more important things of live.
If young Severus would not have been so very highly aware of his own intellectual superiority and thus would not have underestimated his opponents, he might have anticipated their next move.
In less than a second the biggest of this trio was at Severus' desk and snatched away the ebony wand lying there. Young Severus was left armed only with his quill, an incident he might have found poetic, if it had happened to anyone but himself.
~~~~~
// Hogwarts - Thursday, October 21st 1993 - 09:55 a.m. //
The third year at Hogwarts was tough for every pupil, but compared to Hermione Granger the others pretty much had a free ride. Especially Harry and Ron had managed to pick the easiest classes. Divination was laughable of course and Care of Magical Creatures was not hard at all, if you had some courage left in you. Hermione's timetable on the other hand was filled to the point of impossibility.
At the beginning of this term she had proven her Gryffindor nature and gotten Professor McGonagall to supply her with a Time Turner. A most fabulous device, which she could use to travel back in time in order to be able to sit through two or more classes that are scheduled at the same time.
It was probably this reckless, and some might say a little insane and self-destructive, approach to gaining knowledge that got her sorted into Gryffindor instead of Ravenclaw in the first place. No Ravenclaw would ever use a Time Turner for something so ordinary. Ravenclaws were much too aware of all the widespread problems that could arise out of time travel and were therefore stuck with the well known pre-3rd-year panic-attacks until they figured out which classes to abandon.
But the workload turned out to be straining. Hermione got strict rules for the use of the Time Turner. She was allowed to travel back to attend classes but she could not use the device for anything else. That left her with exactly the same amount of revision time as everybody else. Every minute of her day was dedicated to her homework. She didn't even realize how much she missed her friends.
Hermione was on her way to meet her Gryffindor classmates for Double Potions, her 2nd 9 o'clock class. She had had to pick up some books from the library and was running late. One would have thought that the Time Turner could solve this problem, but one turn took her back exactly one hour. It was almost ten o'clock now. She quickly turned the device once, in order to still make it in time. Her friends were probably already assembled in Snape's classroom.
On the last steps down to the dungeons Hermione checked if she got everything she needed; her cauldron, her bag, the five library books she needed for her Arithmancy essay. She began to shift them from one arm to the other to make sure she got the right editions. The cauldron that dangled peacefully from her left arm took offence to this and began to slip. Hermione quickly tried to steady it, but the handle of her bag slipped as well and took the books with it.
Sometimes two arms are just not enough. Hermione tried to make up for that by drawing her wand to cast a levitation spell, thus she had to let go of the last few items that weren't already on their way to the floor. Hermione realized this a tiny bit to late, panicked and bent down to catch the cauldron before it could start making a dreadful noise bouncing on the hard stone floor. Which it of course did anyway.
Her things were strewn all over the hallway. She started to carefully pick up the books first, not noticing that all this commotion had caused the Time Turner to spin like mad.
Hermione resumed her way to the potions classroom unaware of the effects the last few minutes had had on her timetravelling device. Even while she was still in the hallway she could hear children quarrelling and shouting. As she reached the door their voices got louder and turned into some kind of cheer.
Her heart started to beat faster. They had to be completely insane! This meant lifelong detention for everybody, at the very least!
For a second she couldn't decide if to quickly withdraw or to get inside to make them stop before Snape arrived. But she was not one to back away from a situation like this and so she stepped inside.
Three older boys were standing around a table, behind which a very skinny boy was taking cover. He was roughly Hermione's age and looked frightend. His long, black hair covered his eyes and his green Slytherin tie was speckled with black ink. It was very strange that her fellow third year students were nowhere to be seen. Maybe they forgot to tell her that today's potions class got cancelled?
That must be it. It would be just like them! In the past few weeks they had hardly ever spoken. She had to admit though, that her overflowing timetable might primarily be to blame for that.
Loud shouting and cheering yanked her attention back to the present. One of the older boys spun an ebony wand in his left hand, while he held another firmly in his right. He obviously tried to look impressive.
"Now, wouldn't that be the perfect opportunity to try some spells! Our little dark wizard wannabe all defenceless," he said. The other two smirked in approval. He cocked his head and tried to look thoughtful for a few moments, then his lips slowly formed a grin, he pointed his wand and shouted: "Ridere!"
The boy behind the desk stifled a laugh. Plainly the spell had failed. Relieved that the situation didn't prove as disconcerting as she thought at first, Hermione made to advance farther into the classroom. At this very moment the dark haired boy fell down in a fit of laughter.
It did not look funny at all. His eyes were wide and he desperately tried to gasp for air, while his face grew more and more red by the second.
Hermione felt the urge to do something but she had no idea what. These boys clearly knew their magic and though she had gotten through worse situations in the past two years, she didn't want to rush into this without a plan.
"Come on, we're not in prep-school anymore! Let me have a go, I'll show him what the dark arts look like!" A small, fat Slytherin shoved his friend out of the way and pointed his wand. "Brace yourself grease-ball, this might hurt just a little!" The boys around him roared in anticipation, while their victim's hysterical laughter still echoed through the dungeons.
The fat boy's face grew fierce and Hermione felt that the spell he was going to cast was even less funny than ridere had been. She abandoned her caution and took out her wand.
"Cru..."
"Expelliarmus!" she shouted. Hermione scrambled into the classroom dropping her cauldron, bag and books by the door. The fat boy toppled over. The other two were simply baffled that they had been discovered. Hermione seized the moment and got one of them with a full body-bind curse before he could do something. Luckily this distracted the third as well, so she was able to hit him with another expelliarmus.
Hermione felt stronger than she had in a long time, releasing all the built up tension of the stressful past weeks into this. "Get out of here or I'll show you how much fun it is to die laughing!" she yelled. To prove that she was not to be trifled with, Hermione used a moving charm on the body-bound bullie for good measure. He floated slowly toward the door. The others took this as their cue, hurtled in the same direction, snatched their friend out of the air, and took flight down the corridor.
After she had assured herself that the bullies were gone, she summoned the ebony wand that had fallen to the floor. The skinny boy was still very pale and looked exhausted.
"Are you all right?" Hermione knelt down beside him.
"Yes," he murmured. His eyes narrowed and then he added quickly, "Thanks." But he didn't look too grateful. Raising an eyebrow and thrusting forward his chin he added immediately, "But of course I could have managed on my own. I had a plan!" He thoroughly failed to look superior. It was a rather endearing sight.
"Obviously," Hermione couldn't help but smile.
The boy pulled his knees up to his chin and rested his back against the side of the desk. His long black hair had fallen in his eyes, he looked almost shy at Hermione, "Your defence spells aren't half bad, though."
A lopsided smile began to appear on his narrow lips, his eyes looked directly into hers. Suddenly it felt like a small black-hole was forming in her stomach. Hermione felt a little dizzy.
"Thank you," she answered. Those black eyes of his seemed so terribly familiar. But Hermione couldn't remember where she had met him before. He certainly wasn't in her year. They always had Potions with the Slytherins and he wasn't one of them. He probably was one or two years older and just looked so young because he was too skinny.
It was like in the dreams she got the night before she had an exam. In these dreams she knew exactly on which page the answer was written, in which line, the colour of the ink, everything but the answer itself. His black eyes and black hair, the eerie glow that lit the Potions classroom, the way he had raised his eyebrow while he had insisted that he could have defended himself. It all somehow fit together but she just couldn't put her finger on it.
Hermione wanted to stay a little longer. The black-hole in her stomach, and the way it started to spin every time he looked at her, had nothing to do with it, really. She just hadn't had a nice chat in ages. That was it. Nothing else.
Afraid that too long a silence would cause him to get on with whatever he was doing before the bullies had interrupted him, she asked the first thing that came into her mind, "What are you doing here all on your own anyway?"
~~~~~
She was the first person in days that actually spoke to him for longer than absolutely nessesary. If Severus was surprised by her coming to his rescue, he was even more surprised that she stayed to talk to him. It was enjoyable having someone to talk to without the danger of being hexed at any moment. That was why, when she asked him what he was doing here alone, he answered without hesitation.
"I prefer to study alone and I like this room. It is quiet here. The Library is such a crowded place, but people seldom come to this room outside of classes." He gazed at his shoes. This was probably the moment she would begin mocking him for being such a geek that he spent his spare time studying in the gloomiest classroom of the castle.
But instead she sat down cross-legged beside him and asked, "So, what is it you're studying? Is it Potions? I guess Potions is pretty fascinating. But I prefer Arithmancy and Ancient Runes!"
The way her face lit up as she mentioned her favourite subjects made Severus smile. She returned his smile and tucked her bushy hair behind her ears. She had the cutest large front-teeth.
"Er, yes. It's Potions." Why was he nervous all of a sudden? Her lips were slowly covering her teeth again, which made her lower lip protrude just the tiniest bit. He took quite an effort not to stare. Severus was glad that his long hair covered his ears; they must be bright red right by now.
There are different ways to cope with unwanted nervousness. Usually Severus was the kind who fell to complete silence, but he was afraid she would leave if this conversation was over and he didn't want her to go. So he forced himself to talk. He started rambling about old potions books, long forgotten charms and about some of the more harmless spells he had invented himself. She listened keenly.
Her eyes were fixed on his lips and she obviously didn't notice that her beautiful brown hair had fallen into her face again. Before he knew what he was doing he reached out to brush it away. As Severus' fingertips touched her cheek her eyes half closed and her lower lip dropped ever so slightly. Severus couldn't stop looking at her. He started to feel a bit dizzy as well. He did the only thing that seemed sensible. He leaned forward, his hand still awkwardly placed on her cheek, and pressed his lips softly against hers.
This was obviously not the cure against his dizziness since he now began to see stars as well. He felt her warm hand on his arm and tried to shift even closer. Her lips were soft and she smelled like parchment and shampoo. Severus wanted to stay like this forever.
A loud noise filtered through the haze that was Severus' mind. There were voices down the hallway, "Bet you the git is copying forbidden Potions again!"
Severus started. He leaned back suddenly. Slowly she opened her eyes and smiled. There was an ink-stain on her cheek where only seconds ago his hand had been. Severus smiled back.
The voices were now at the door calling, "Severus! Where've you been! We were wating for you ... Snape, come on!"
Her eyes grow wide, Severus could swear that it was shock he saw in her eyes as she rose to step away from him.
"Oh God! Severus Snape!" she muttered. It didn't make sense at all. Yes, that was his name. But why drag it into this at such a moment? "I ... I really have to get back!"
She hurriedly shoved his wand back at him and before Severus could do anything about it she had already turned around to pick up all her things and had left the classroom.
~~~~~ REMEMBER ~~~~~
Hermione's hands were shaking. This did not just happen. She desperately needed to calm down. There couldn't have been an accident with the Time Turner. She refused to accept that this handsome boy was Severus Snape. She took cover behind a big stone statue and tried to gather her thoughts.
It had been a wonderful kiss. Her wonderful first kiss. That this cute Slytherin and the old, greasy Potions Master were one and the same person left her feeling slightly nauseated. But she could sort that through in her mind when she was back in her own timeline again, right now she had to recollect how to actually get there.
She tried to remember what Professor McGonagall had said about emergencies. Hermione reached for the Time Turner. On the underside was a small metal knob which she now firmly pressed until it slid under the surface. She got out her wand, pointed it at the device and took a deep breath. She really hoped this would work. "Repara Tempus!" she said in her most commanding voice, concentrating on the right amount of swish and flick action.
She tentatively took a look out from behind the statue. Of course she was still in the hallway down in the dungeons, nothing seemed to have changed. If the emergency spell had worked she would be in her own timeline again. Not exactly at the point in time where she had left it, though. The time she had spent in the wrong timeline would be added to that. This meant she was now maybe ten or fifteen minutes late for Potions.
Hermione braced herself for the worst. Being late for Potions was no fun at all, she had enough homework already and didn't need an essay assigned as punishment. Just as she was about to open the door a new thought hit her. What if he remembers? What if he knew exactly why she was late? Would he talk to her about it? This was going to be incredibly embarrassing. She would never be able to look at him again! No, he probably had forgotten everything about it. It would be vain to assume that this little kiss had mattered so much to him that he remembered it for almost twenty years.
With the courage of a true Gryffindor she pushed the door open.
The room was filled with steam and smoke. Her classmates were busy at their cauldrons. Ron was the first to notice her. "Hermione!" he whispered in her direction, "where have you been?" Harry turned around as well, and then Neville, and soon the whole class was staring at her.
Hermione felt the colour rising in her cheeks, she hoped that her voice would not be too shaky, "I am very sorry to be late, Professor."
Snape was standing in front of his desk, one hand firmly gripping the tabletop. He stared directly into her eyes. For a brief second it seemed as if he would lose his composure, then he rose one eyebrow and thrust his chin forward.
"Twenty inches of parchment on the importance of time in potions making, Miss Granger!" He spoke very slowly, the whole class was listening intently. "You will stay to see me after class. Now get to work. Mister Longbottom will tell you what it is you are supposed to be brewing. If he has any idea himself, that is," Snape sneered.
~~~~~
Severus knew that this was the day it had happened the moment Hermione had entered the classroom.
These last two years he had comforted himself with the thought that she was oblivious to the role she had played in his life. Even though he was aware that Hermione Granger and the girl he once had kissed behind the table in the potions classroom were in fact only one person, his mind kept them distinctly separated. His memories were linked to a girl his own age. Surely she must have grown up now. Hermione was just a student of his who happened to resemble someone he once had known. The human brain had not evolved to process circumstances like these properly.
But today was different. She looked at him frightened, trying hard to keep her voice from shaking. And there were three small, black smudges of ink on her left cheek. There was only one way these smudges could have gotten there, only one reason why she was late and the realization hit him harder than he would have thought.
She now knew. Hermione looked at him and he was certain she was trying to match his thirteen-year-old self with his present appearance. Maybe she was disgusted, maybe she now had, God forbid, a crush on him - both were nothing he cared for.
The fact of the matter was that he didn't want a student to know that he once had needed help to defend himself from his housemates, nor that he used to ramble on about his "secret studies" and his inventive spells. And he definitely didn't want her to know such intimate details as how his first kiss had been!
That kiss was one of the very few happy memories he kept in his pensieve. It was a memory he revisited when nothing else could cheer him up. Her knowledge of the event spoiled this memory. It was something he needed just for himself.
Severus would have to make her forget.
~~~~~ FORGET ~~~~~
// Hogwarts - Thursday, October 21st 1993 - 10:45 a.m. //
Double Potions had never passed as slowly as it did today. Hermione really didn't want to think about her meeting with Snape at the end of class. She concentrated on fixing all of Neville's mistakes. From time to time she caught Snape looking in her direction with an unreadable expression. Every time she looked at him her mind automatically searched his appearance for what remained of the skinny young boy. His black eyes were still the same and so were his lips when he sneered. The possibility that she might be on her way to develop a crush on the Potions Master was vaguely alarming. She had to talk to Ginny as soon as possible. Of course the Time Turner would have to be left out of the discussion, which made the prospect of admitting to maybe having a crush on Snape not too enticing. She was completely screwed!
The class was over. Gryffindors sent her pitying looks. Slytherins made fake-scared faces at her. "We'll wait for you in the Great Hall," Harry gave her an encouraging smile. She was glad to have him as a friend. If someone had experience in surviving a telling-off by Snape it was him.
Professor Snape sat at his table taking notes in a small notebook. Presently he put away his quill, closed the book, rose, and stepped around the table. He folded his arms in front of him and arched an eyebrow. "I suppose you enjoyed your little excursion to my private life," he began.
This was incredibly unfair! How could he think she travelled back deliberately? "Sir, I never meant to! I dropped my books and my cauldron, I really didn't notice the Time Turner spinning!"
Snape cut her off sharply, "Do stop apologizing, you foolish little girl! I know you didn't do it on purpose."
Hermione felt his eyes wander to a point on her left cheek. Snape's gaze softened. The black-hole in her stomach miraculously started to spin again.
~~~~~
When Hermione nervously tucked her hair behind her ears he almost reached out to wipe away the ink-stains on her face. Severus really needed to get this situation under control as fast as he could. She would only remember that she had been late for his class but the events in his past would have disappeared from her mind.
He drew his wand. "Don't imagine I do this out of kindness." She backed away from him with a puzzled look in her eyes. Severus almost gave up on his plan. What right had he to meddle with this girls memories? But on the other hand, what right had she to take away something that was so dear to him! He resolutely pointed his wand and spoke with a steady voice, "Obliviate!"
Hermione's face went blank instantly. After a few seconds she recovered and looked at him confused.
"That will be all," Severus said calmly, "I expect your essay next monday, Miss Granger."
// Hogwarts - Thursday, October 21st 1993 - 09:35 p.m. //
Down in the dungeons the Potions Master's room was bathed in the warm glow of candles. Severus sat in an overstuffed, dark-green chair, a glass of firewhiskey in his left hand, the fingers of his right nervously tapping on the stuffed leather. He downed the liquid and put the glass back on a small wooden table.
A look of determination spread over his face, he rose and strode toward a large cupboard. As he drew the doors open a silverly light illuminated his face. He stood there staring at his pensieve for over two minutes. Finally he closed the cupboard firmly, walked back to his chair and refilled his glass.
To remember was not easy, but it was even harder to forget.
~~~~~ END ~~~~~
cross-posted tolovedraughts.
Originally written for dosomethinscary
Author: joan_waterhouse
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairings & Characters: Hermione/young!Severus, Severus
Rating: PG
Genre: Romance, Humour, eventually light Angst
Spoilers: for PoA
Wordcount: ~ 4400 words
Summary: For Hermione it happened 5 minutes ago, but for Severus almost two decades have passed.
Disclaimer: My motivation is adoration! Everything recognizable belongs to J.K. Rowling and some big companies! Please don't sue me (I spend all my money on your merchandise anyway...)!
A/N: Apart from a handful of drabbles this is my first fanfic. I wrote it for dosomethinscary and originally posted it there. It makes me feel incredibly accomplished! *g* I hope it is enjoyable as well! :)
This should be canon compliant, apart from the fact that I completely ignore Lily.
Also, I'm pants at latin. Anyone who feels the need to point out grammatical mistakes in the two spells I invented is welcome to do so! Generally: Con-crit is always welcome!
Ink-stained
~~~~~ Experience ~~~~~
// Hogwarts - Monday, October 8th 1973 - 12:15 a.m. //
Young Severus' steps echoed on the walls of the empty classroom. The scent of recently brewed potions lingered in the air, candlelight and the eerie glow from fluorescent ingredients were the only source of light. He was glad to be in his favourite place again. It was peaceful here at lunchtime, when everybody else was busy in the Great Hall.
Severus fished a weighty tome from under his robes and placed it carefully on one of the worn tables. The feeble security-charms guarding the library had taken him only a few months to bypass. To fool the librarian had been a bit more difficult, but since he had taken his time to observe her personal habits and had been careful not to attract too much attention, it really hadn't been that hard. He now knew that at precisely 12 o'clock the library was unguarded for three minutes and forty-five seconds, in which the ever vigilant (and admittedly rather neurotic) "watchdog of the books" heeded to the call of nature. These two-hundred and twenty-five seconds had proven to be enough time for Severus to borrow a book and vanish. Returning the book to the restricted section was a bit more complicated, since this obsessive-compulsive bundle of a librarian had obviously fine-tuned her bowels and didn't leave her post for the rest of the day. Usually he smuggled those forbidden volumes back in under a stack of books he had taken out officially, retired to a desk opposite the restricted section and casually levitated them back when no one was looking. That this actually worked, shocked him every single time.
Presently he set down his ink bottle and quill with care and spread out a fresh page of parchment next to it.
Now that he once more was alone with the knowledge of power he felt at ease. It was soothing to learn, to strive to be better.
The majority of Severus' classmates could hardly have been called his friends. They relished the moments when they tried yet another way to humiliate him. But he was convinced that one day he will have acquired the tools to trump them all, if only he kept up with his secret studies.
And so Severus was too absorbed in a rather complex potions recipe to notice the noise outside of his hiding-place. Only when a small group of three impressively built fourth-years entered the room, he looked up. Severus knew them quite well. They were in his own house, but this was all the more reason to be on his guard. Slowly reaching for his wand, he waited for whatever they came up with today.
They suddenly started pointing their fingers at him and began to chant a most infantile sing-song. Even Peeves fled in embarrassment. Severus just winced. These idiots barely had the brains to come up with a decent insult! People who made a sport of teasing others rarely did. But "Snape, Snape - sour as a grape!" was an all time low.
"Oh, just sod off," he drawled and changed his wand for his quill to get on with the more important things of live.
If young Severus would not have been so very highly aware of his own intellectual superiority and thus would not have underestimated his opponents, he might have anticipated their next move.
In less than a second the biggest of this trio was at Severus' desk and snatched away the ebony wand lying there. Young Severus was left armed only with his quill, an incident he might have found poetic, if it had happened to anyone but himself.
~~~~~
// Hogwarts - Thursday, October 21st 1993 - 09:55 a.m. //
The third year at Hogwarts was tough for every pupil, but compared to Hermione Granger the others pretty much had a free ride. Especially Harry and Ron had managed to pick the easiest classes. Divination was laughable of course and Care of Magical Creatures was not hard at all, if you had some courage left in you. Hermione's timetable on the other hand was filled to the point of impossibility.
At the beginning of this term she had proven her Gryffindor nature and gotten Professor McGonagall to supply her with a Time Turner. A most fabulous device, which she could use to travel back in time in order to be able to sit through two or more classes that are scheduled at the same time.
It was probably this reckless, and some might say a little insane and self-destructive, approach to gaining knowledge that got her sorted into Gryffindor instead of Ravenclaw in the first place. No Ravenclaw would ever use a Time Turner for something so ordinary. Ravenclaws were much too aware of all the widespread problems that could arise out of time travel and were therefore stuck with the well known pre-3rd-year panic-attacks until they figured out which classes to abandon.
But the workload turned out to be straining. Hermione got strict rules for the use of the Time Turner. She was allowed to travel back to attend classes but she could not use the device for anything else. That left her with exactly the same amount of revision time as everybody else. Every minute of her day was dedicated to her homework. She didn't even realize how much she missed her friends.
Hermione was on her way to meet her Gryffindor classmates for Double Potions, her 2nd 9 o'clock class. She had had to pick up some books from the library and was running late. One would have thought that the Time Turner could solve this problem, but one turn took her back exactly one hour. It was almost ten o'clock now. She quickly turned the device once, in order to still make it in time. Her friends were probably already assembled in Snape's classroom.
On the last steps down to the dungeons Hermione checked if she got everything she needed; her cauldron, her bag, the five library books she needed for her Arithmancy essay. She began to shift them from one arm to the other to make sure she got the right editions. The cauldron that dangled peacefully from her left arm took offence to this and began to slip. Hermione quickly tried to steady it, but the handle of her bag slipped as well and took the books with it.
Sometimes two arms are just not enough. Hermione tried to make up for that by drawing her wand to cast a levitation spell, thus she had to let go of the last few items that weren't already on their way to the floor. Hermione realized this a tiny bit to late, panicked and bent down to catch the cauldron before it could start making a dreadful noise bouncing on the hard stone floor. Which it of course did anyway.
Her things were strewn all over the hallway. She started to carefully pick up the books first, not noticing that all this commotion had caused the Time Turner to spin like mad.
Hermione resumed her way to the potions classroom unaware of the effects the last few minutes had had on her timetravelling device. Even while she was still in the hallway she could hear children quarrelling and shouting. As she reached the door their voices got louder and turned into some kind of cheer.
Her heart started to beat faster. They had to be completely insane! This meant lifelong detention for everybody, at the very least!
For a second she couldn't decide if to quickly withdraw or to get inside to make them stop before Snape arrived. But she was not one to back away from a situation like this and so she stepped inside.
Three older boys were standing around a table, behind which a very skinny boy was taking cover. He was roughly Hermione's age and looked frightend. His long, black hair covered his eyes and his green Slytherin tie was speckled with black ink. It was very strange that her fellow third year students were nowhere to be seen. Maybe they forgot to tell her that today's potions class got cancelled?
That must be it. It would be just like them! In the past few weeks they had hardly ever spoken. She had to admit though, that her overflowing timetable might primarily be to blame for that.
Loud shouting and cheering yanked her attention back to the present. One of the older boys spun an ebony wand in his left hand, while he held another firmly in his right. He obviously tried to look impressive.
"Now, wouldn't that be the perfect opportunity to try some spells! Our little dark wizard wannabe all defenceless," he said. The other two smirked in approval. He cocked his head and tried to look thoughtful for a few moments, then his lips slowly formed a grin, he pointed his wand and shouted: "Ridere!"
The boy behind the desk stifled a laugh. Plainly the spell had failed. Relieved that the situation didn't prove as disconcerting as she thought at first, Hermione made to advance farther into the classroom. At this very moment the dark haired boy fell down in a fit of laughter.
It did not look funny at all. His eyes were wide and he desperately tried to gasp for air, while his face grew more and more red by the second.
Hermione felt the urge to do something but she had no idea what. These boys clearly knew their magic and though she had gotten through worse situations in the past two years, she didn't want to rush into this without a plan.
"Come on, we're not in prep-school anymore! Let me have a go, I'll show him what the dark arts look like!" A small, fat Slytherin shoved his friend out of the way and pointed his wand. "Brace yourself grease-ball, this might hurt just a little!" The boys around him roared in anticipation, while their victim's hysterical laughter still echoed through the dungeons.
The fat boy's face grew fierce and Hermione felt that the spell he was going to cast was even less funny than ridere had been. She abandoned her caution and took out her wand.
"Cru..."
"Expelliarmus!" she shouted. Hermione scrambled into the classroom dropping her cauldron, bag and books by the door. The fat boy toppled over. The other two were simply baffled that they had been discovered. Hermione seized the moment and got one of them with a full body-bind curse before he could do something. Luckily this distracted the third as well, so she was able to hit him with another expelliarmus.
Hermione felt stronger than she had in a long time, releasing all the built up tension of the stressful past weeks into this. "Get out of here or I'll show you how much fun it is to die laughing!" she yelled. To prove that she was not to be trifled with, Hermione used a moving charm on the body-bound bullie for good measure. He floated slowly toward the door. The others took this as their cue, hurtled in the same direction, snatched their friend out of the air, and took flight down the corridor.
After she had assured herself that the bullies were gone, she summoned the ebony wand that had fallen to the floor. The skinny boy was still very pale and looked exhausted.
"Are you all right?" Hermione knelt down beside him.
"Yes," he murmured. His eyes narrowed and then he added quickly, "Thanks." But he didn't look too grateful. Raising an eyebrow and thrusting forward his chin he added immediately, "But of course I could have managed on my own. I had a plan!" He thoroughly failed to look superior. It was a rather endearing sight.
"Obviously," Hermione couldn't help but smile.
The boy pulled his knees up to his chin and rested his back against the side of the desk. His long black hair had fallen in his eyes, he looked almost shy at Hermione, "Your defence spells aren't half bad, though."
A lopsided smile began to appear on his narrow lips, his eyes looked directly into hers. Suddenly it felt like a small black-hole was forming in her stomach. Hermione felt a little dizzy.
"Thank you," she answered. Those black eyes of his seemed so terribly familiar. But Hermione couldn't remember where she had met him before. He certainly wasn't in her year. They always had Potions with the Slytherins and he wasn't one of them. He probably was one or two years older and just looked so young because he was too skinny.
It was like in the dreams she got the night before she had an exam. In these dreams she knew exactly on which page the answer was written, in which line, the colour of the ink, everything but the answer itself. His black eyes and black hair, the eerie glow that lit the Potions classroom, the way he had raised his eyebrow while he had insisted that he could have defended himself. It all somehow fit together but she just couldn't put her finger on it.
Hermione wanted to stay a little longer. The black-hole in her stomach, and the way it started to spin every time he looked at her, had nothing to do with it, really. She just hadn't had a nice chat in ages. That was it. Nothing else.
Afraid that too long a silence would cause him to get on with whatever he was doing before the bullies had interrupted him, she asked the first thing that came into her mind, "What are you doing here all on your own anyway?"
~~~~~
She was the first person in days that actually spoke to him for longer than absolutely nessesary. If Severus was surprised by her coming to his rescue, he was even more surprised that she stayed to talk to him. It was enjoyable having someone to talk to without the danger of being hexed at any moment. That was why, when she asked him what he was doing here alone, he answered without hesitation.
"I prefer to study alone and I like this room. It is quiet here. The Library is such a crowded place, but people seldom come to this room outside of classes." He gazed at his shoes. This was probably the moment she would begin mocking him for being such a geek that he spent his spare time studying in the gloomiest classroom of the castle.
But instead she sat down cross-legged beside him and asked, "So, what is it you're studying? Is it Potions? I guess Potions is pretty fascinating. But I prefer Arithmancy and Ancient Runes!"
The way her face lit up as she mentioned her favourite subjects made Severus smile. She returned his smile and tucked her bushy hair behind her ears. She had the cutest large front-teeth.
"Er, yes. It's Potions." Why was he nervous all of a sudden? Her lips were slowly covering her teeth again, which made her lower lip protrude just the tiniest bit. He took quite an effort not to stare. Severus was glad that his long hair covered his ears; they must be bright red right by now.
There are different ways to cope with unwanted nervousness. Usually Severus was the kind who fell to complete silence, but he was afraid she would leave if this conversation was over and he didn't want her to go. So he forced himself to talk. He started rambling about old potions books, long forgotten charms and about some of the more harmless spells he had invented himself. She listened keenly.
Her eyes were fixed on his lips and she obviously didn't notice that her beautiful brown hair had fallen into her face again. Before he knew what he was doing he reached out to brush it away. As Severus' fingertips touched her cheek her eyes half closed and her lower lip dropped ever so slightly. Severus couldn't stop looking at her. He started to feel a bit dizzy as well. He did the only thing that seemed sensible. He leaned forward, his hand still awkwardly placed on her cheek, and pressed his lips softly against hers.
This was obviously not the cure against his dizziness since he now began to see stars as well. He felt her warm hand on his arm and tried to shift even closer. Her lips were soft and she smelled like parchment and shampoo. Severus wanted to stay like this forever.
A loud noise filtered through the haze that was Severus' mind. There were voices down the hallway, "Bet you the git is copying forbidden Potions again!"
Severus started. He leaned back suddenly. Slowly she opened her eyes and smiled. There was an ink-stain on her cheek where only seconds ago his hand had been. Severus smiled back.
The voices were now at the door calling, "Severus! Where've you been! We were wating for you ... Snape, come on!"
Her eyes grow wide, Severus could swear that it was shock he saw in her eyes as she rose to step away from him.
"Oh God! Severus Snape!" she muttered. It didn't make sense at all. Yes, that was his name. But why drag it into this at such a moment? "I ... I really have to get back!"
She hurriedly shoved his wand back at him and before Severus could do anything about it she had already turned around to pick up all her things and had left the classroom.
~~~~~ REMEMBER ~~~~~
Hermione's hands were shaking. This did not just happen. She desperately needed to calm down. There couldn't have been an accident with the Time Turner. She refused to accept that this handsome boy was Severus Snape. She took cover behind a big stone statue and tried to gather her thoughts.
It had been a wonderful kiss. Her wonderful first kiss. That this cute Slytherin and the old, greasy Potions Master were one and the same person left her feeling slightly nauseated. But she could sort that through in her mind when she was back in her own timeline again, right now she had to recollect how to actually get there.
She tried to remember what Professor McGonagall had said about emergencies. Hermione reached for the Time Turner. On the underside was a small metal knob which she now firmly pressed until it slid under the surface. She got out her wand, pointed it at the device and took a deep breath. She really hoped this would work. "Repara Tempus!" she said in her most commanding voice, concentrating on the right amount of swish and flick action.
She tentatively took a look out from behind the statue. Of course she was still in the hallway down in the dungeons, nothing seemed to have changed. If the emergency spell had worked she would be in her own timeline again. Not exactly at the point in time where she had left it, though. The time she had spent in the wrong timeline would be added to that. This meant she was now maybe ten or fifteen minutes late for Potions.
Hermione braced herself for the worst. Being late for Potions was no fun at all, she had enough homework already and didn't need an essay assigned as punishment. Just as she was about to open the door a new thought hit her. What if he remembers? What if he knew exactly why she was late? Would he talk to her about it? This was going to be incredibly embarrassing. She would never be able to look at him again! No, he probably had forgotten everything about it. It would be vain to assume that this little kiss had mattered so much to him that he remembered it for almost twenty years.
With the courage of a true Gryffindor she pushed the door open.
The room was filled with steam and smoke. Her classmates were busy at their cauldrons. Ron was the first to notice her. "Hermione!" he whispered in her direction, "where have you been?" Harry turned around as well, and then Neville, and soon the whole class was staring at her.
Hermione felt the colour rising in her cheeks, she hoped that her voice would not be too shaky, "I am very sorry to be late, Professor."
Snape was standing in front of his desk, one hand firmly gripping the tabletop. He stared directly into her eyes. For a brief second it seemed as if he would lose his composure, then he rose one eyebrow and thrust his chin forward.
"Twenty inches of parchment on the importance of time in potions making, Miss Granger!" He spoke very slowly, the whole class was listening intently. "You will stay to see me after class. Now get to work. Mister Longbottom will tell you what it is you are supposed to be brewing. If he has any idea himself, that is," Snape sneered.
~~~~~
Severus knew that this was the day it had happened the moment Hermione had entered the classroom.
These last two years he had comforted himself with the thought that she was oblivious to the role she had played in his life. Even though he was aware that Hermione Granger and the girl he once had kissed behind the table in the potions classroom were in fact only one person, his mind kept them distinctly separated. His memories were linked to a girl his own age. Surely she must have grown up now. Hermione was just a student of his who happened to resemble someone he once had known. The human brain had not evolved to process circumstances like these properly.
But today was different. She looked at him frightened, trying hard to keep her voice from shaking. And there were three small, black smudges of ink on her left cheek. There was only one way these smudges could have gotten there, only one reason why she was late and the realization hit him harder than he would have thought.
She now knew. Hermione looked at him and he was certain she was trying to match his thirteen-year-old self with his present appearance. Maybe she was disgusted, maybe she now had, God forbid, a crush on him - both were nothing he cared for.
The fact of the matter was that he didn't want a student to know that he once had needed help to defend himself from his housemates, nor that he used to ramble on about his "secret studies" and his inventive spells. And he definitely didn't want her to know such intimate details as how his first kiss had been!
That kiss was one of the very few happy memories he kept in his pensieve. It was a memory he revisited when nothing else could cheer him up. Her knowledge of the event spoiled this memory. It was something he needed just for himself.
Severus would have to make her forget.
~~~~~ FORGET ~~~~~
// Hogwarts - Thursday, October 21st 1993 - 10:45 a.m. //
Double Potions had never passed as slowly as it did today. Hermione really didn't want to think about her meeting with Snape at the end of class. She concentrated on fixing all of Neville's mistakes. From time to time she caught Snape looking in her direction with an unreadable expression. Every time she looked at him her mind automatically searched his appearance for what remained of the skinny young boy. His black eyes were still the same and so were his lips when he sneered. The possibility that she might be on her way to develop a crush on the Potions Master was vaguely alarming. She had to talk to Ginny as soon as possible. Of course the Time Turner would have to be left out of the discussion, which made the prospect of admitting to maybe having a crush on Snape not too enticing. She was completely screwed!
The class was over. Gryffindors sent her pitying looks. Slytherins made fake-scared faces at her. "We'll wait for you in the Great Hall," Harry gave her an encouraging smile. She was glad to have him as a friend. If someone had experience in surviving a telling-off by Snape it was him.
Professor Snape sat at his table taking notes in a small notebook. Presently he put away his quill, closed the book, rose, and stepped around the table. He folded his arms in front of him and arched an eyebrow. "I suppose you enjoyed your little excursion to my private life," he began.
This was incredibly unfair! How could he think she travelled back deliberately? "Sir, I never meant to! I dropped my books and my cauldron, I really didn't notice the Time Turner spinning!"
Snape cut her off sharply, "Do stop apologizing, you foolish little girl! I know you didn't do it on purpose."
Hermione felt his eyes wander to a point on her left cheek. Snape's gaze softened. The black-hole in her stomach miraculously started to spin again.
~~~~~
When Hermione nervously tucked her hair behind her ears he almost reached out to wipe away the ink-stains on her face. Severus really needed to get this situation under control as fast as he could. She would only remember that she had been late for his class but the events in his past would have disappeared from her mind.
He drew his wand. "Don't imagine I do this out of kindness." She backed away from him with a puzzled look in her eyes. Severus almost gave up on his plan. What right had he to meddle with this girls memories? But on the other hand, what right had she to take away something that was so dear to him! He resolutely pointed his wand and spoke with a steady voice, "Obliviate!"
Hermione's face went blank instantly. After a few seconds she recovered and looked at him confused.
"That will be all," Severus said calmly, "I expect your essay next monday, Miss Granger."
// Hogwarts - Thursday, October 21st 1993 - 09:35 p.m. //
Down in the dungeons the Potions Master's room was bathed in the warm glow of candles. Severus sat in an overstuffed, dark-green chair, a glass of firewhiskey in his left hand, the fingers of his right nervously tapping on the stuffed leather. He downed the liquid and put the glass back on a small wooden table.
A look of determination spread over his face, he rose and strode toward a large cupboard. As he drew the doors open a silverly light illuminated his face. He stood there staring at his pensieve for over two minutes. Finally he closed the cupboard firmly, walked back to his chair and refilled his glass.
To remember was not easy, but it was even harder to forget.
~~~~~ END ~~~~~
cross-posted tolovedraughts.
Originally written for dosomethinscary