Yes, yes it's been a while, but Joan is a busy queen!

Hmm, it appears I'm still a little sore from last night. Jon Lovitz came over, and we had our own private COCKtail party. He put up a good fight, but I managed to tangle him in my love-nest and slam him hard with the double-dong.

But enough about me. Let's talk about YOU for a while! It's been ( Read more... )

This is AppAAALing! Look! THIS woman claims to be ME!
Fucking SLUT!!! HOW DARE SHE? LOOK AT HER! LOOK AT THIS WOMAN! THIS...THIS...IMPOSTOR! HOW DARE SHE CLAIM THE GOD-LIKE STATUS OF THE QUEEN OF HOLLYWOOD! HOW DARE SHE TRY AND STEAL A PIECE OF MY THUNDER!!
WELL LET ME TELL YOU, MISSY! RIGHT ALONG WITH THE THUNDER COMES THE LIGHTNING!!! PREPARE ( Read more... )

To be honest with you, I'm not too thrilled about having so many DRAG QUEENS dress up as me for Halloween! It's a little extreme, really. I mean, I can't help that I'm beautiful and talented, and extremely desired and sought after, but come on! I think Divine would be ashamed.

And a VERY happy birthday to my good dear friend, italianprincess!
Love, J.C.

Due to the recent tragedies that occurred, I have been unable to update my livejournal!
This horror is absolutely UNSPEAKABLE!
IT'S THE FAULT OF THAT FAT WHORE MAD_COWBut don't worry, Citizens! Joan Crawford is ON THE MOVE ( Read more... )

Good GODS! Last night I caught Christina in bed...WITH ANOTHER WOMAN!
I think her name was Vera...All I know is that she attends Chadwick academy with my daughter...Who could have known, my daughter, CHRISTINA CRAWFORD, WAS A LESBIAN?!
Oh, well. I always did think she was rather beastly manly. Not to mention hairy ( Read more... )

Lonliness and Vodka is a deadly combination! *HIC!*
...And You're a lousy substitute for someone who reaaallly cares....Oohhhh....Tinnnaa...Daaaarrrrling...
*HIC!*

I was flipping through the channels when I saw my OWN DAUGHTER tinacrawford ON LARRY KING LIVE, TELLING ALL SORTS OF LIES AND SPREADING FALSEHOODS ABOUT HER OWN MOTHER!!!!
YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE LESBIAN! HOW DARE YOU?!!!

This morning, I was laying in bed with a facewrap on, when I heard screaming and shouting coming from the garden. I look out of my window to see Tina and Christopher KICKING MY GOD DAMN EXPENSIVE CUSHIONS AROUND!

So, Naturally, I flew out of bed, opened the window, and GAVE THEM HELL!!!!

That'll teach her to fuck with MY upholstery!

Bette Fucking Davis!!!!!That elderly WHORE has come back from hell....I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY DIVA TO ESCAPE FROM THE WRATH OF BEELZEBUB ( Read more... )