Fic: Sunday in September
Title: Sunday in September
Author: joans23
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: PG
Words: 3,840
Summary: The obstacles in the way of their love seem to keep adding up. Will they eventually be able to overcome them?
Notes: I know I just made this incredibly long rambly post, but I got my beta back and there wasn't any work to be done, so I figured I might just as well. Spammy!Joan apologizes. I know I always rave about my awesome beta, but this time kkgee just went above and beyond. She challenged me to make this little bit of self-indulgence for myself and superwicked the best that I could. Thank you so much, Kris!!!! Inspired by a secret pic and an old Afrikaans movie from the sixties.
September 12, 1999
"Jensen working this weekend?"
"What am I, his keeper?" Jared asks, knocking his plastic cup of cola against Chris's beer filled one. "Anyway, you should know. You talk to him way more than I do, dude."
Chris gives him a pointed look that reminds him just how easy it would be to call Jared on his bullshit, but only shrugs. Jensen's just started his final semester to complete his Master of Physical Therapy over at the UT Health Science Centre, and the required clinical classes have kept him pretty busy. They all understand he can't always make it out on the weekends to see them. And even when he does, he doesn't like hanging out at parties. Jared glances over at Justin Hartley and his group of lowlife friends and thinks they can't really blame him. Justin is staring at them, contempt showing plainly all over his face. Something happened between them in highschool to cause the bitter rivalry, though neither Justin nor Jensen will say exactly what. Jared has his suspisions, but knows better than to give voice to them.
"Think he said something about stopping to pick up his date. He'll probably get here soon," Steve says.
His words are barely cold before Jensen appears in the doorway, arm slung casually around the waist of the guy that fixed Chris's truck last week. Silence falls thick and heavy around the room, stomping the party atmosphere down under its heel regardless of how nicely Britney Spears is asking her baby to hit her one more time.
"Fuck," Chris says under his breath. "What the hell's he thinking?"
Jared can't answer, he's too busy trying to relearn how to breathe.
"Hey, what's a guy supposed to do to get a beer around here?" Jensen asks, voice booming out loud and false over the crowd. The unnatural silence lingers a moment longer before Cliff hands them each a cup and the chatter starts up again like the moment never happened.
Jensen catches Jared's eye. He immediately releases his date and motions Jared outside with a barely there tilt of his chin. Jared puts his half empty cup down on the TV while Jensen leans in to whisper some placating lie to the guy at his side.
"Jared," he starts as soon as they step through the sliding doors into the balmy evening, the sweltering Texas heat finally starting to bow down to fall's persistence.
"Don't you fucking dare "Jared" me. I agreed to the whole dating scam. I get why we needed to do it. But what I don't get is why you suddenly decided to bring a guy without even talking to me about it!"
"It's still not real, Jay. It's still you, always you. What does it matter if it's just some guy instead of just some girl?"
"Because it feels more real!" Jared yells and twists away from Jensen, trying to get his emotions under control. "It is different. You can't tell me you don't know that. Why, Jensen?"
"Okay. You're right. I know it isn't the same as bringing Danneel or Kristen or whoever." Jensen takes a step closer to Jared, dropping his voice to whisper in Jared's ear. "I'm just so tired of hiding, Jay. It's bad enough I have to hide how I feel about you ... I can't do anything about that, but I can stop lying about who I am."
"And who you are is apparently fucking Taylor Kitsch," Jared spits, turning around so they're standing face to face.
Jensen takes a careful step back.
"I'm sorry," Jensen says and Jared still doesn't know whether he wants to punch him in the face or kiss him.
"I don't want to hide anymore either," he says. He watches Jensen's head drop, his shoulders slump and now he definitely wants to kiss him.
"We can't, Jared. You know we can't. You're not even out to your parents yet. You know ..."
"I know I love you. I know I want to be with you. I know I want to hold your hand in there, surrounded by our friends and have them know you're mine and I'm yours. I know I want this."
"I do too, more than anything. But it's a bad idea, Jay. As much as I hate sneaking around, I can't risk have them take even that little bit away from us."
"You can't risk? We're in this together, Jen, and I get a say too."
"Oh, yeah?"
"Yeah!"
"Not if it's stupid and will ruin what we have!"
"Hate to break it to you, but there isn't much to ruin!"
"Fuck you!"
"I wish. I keep wanting you to, but you're too chickenshit to step up to the plate!"
"We are not having that discussion again and definitely not now. I'm getting out of here before one of us says something we're gonna regret."
"I think it's already too late for that," Jared says. He turns around and walks toward the back of the house. There's no way he can go back to the party and pretend nothing's happened. His dad's probably gonna come pick him up soon anyway.
"Jay," Jensen calls out after him.
"Just go," Jared says softly. He stops as soon as he rounds the corner and leans back, resting his head against the wall and looking up at the stars as hears the doors slide shut behind Jensen again.
"Well, well, well. Will you look at this. Little faggot boy crying little faggot tears over his little faggot boyfriend. How tragic."
"Fuck off, Justin. What do you know?" Jared asks, jerking upright. Justin's never taken his dislike of Jensen out on him before, but he still feels panic hit him like a punch in the gut.
"I know you guys should try arguing a little softer if you're trying to keep your epic romance a secret."
"You don't know anything. Just leave me alone, alright."
"I don't think so. See, everyone may be too afraid to put Jensen in his place cause they're scared of getting their asses handed to them by those idiot friends of his. But you? Ain't nobody gonna come for you."
Jared tries to back away, but his escape is halted by a hard chest against his back.
"Not so fast, sweetheart," Mike says behind him.
"We're just getting started," Tom says somewhere to his left.
"Come on, guys," Jared tries one last time. He forces a laugh as he tries to shoulder his way through the circle of bodies closing in on him. "Lets go get some beers, what do you say?"
His only answer is a left hook and Jared staggers backwards as pain explodes across his jaw. Before he has a chance to right himself, there's a sharp shot to his kidneys. Doubling over in pain, he's sent to the ground by a kick to his ass. Grass and dirt plough into his open mouth. Jared wants to scream, but his throat refuses to let him. He sees the boot aiming for his face and closes his eyes, bracing himself even though he knows it's useless.
Instead of the expected agony, he gets a surprised yelp. Jared opens his eyes to see Jensen launching himself at Justin. Jensen has Justin's head locked in his arm as he wrestles him away from Jared. The rest of the gang back off, careful.
"Get off him!" Jensen yells and drags Justin down, kicking and screaming.
Jared slowly gets to his feet, clutching at his side. Jensen manages to get on top of Justin, straddling his hips and pinning his arms down above his head.
"Wish I could say it's nice to know not much has changed. You're just as much a coward as ever, Hartley."
Justin struggles, trying to buck Jensen off, but Jensen only tighens his hold. He leans down, looking Justin in the eye.
"Stay away from him," he says, voice low and dangerous. There's a silent message passing from Jensen's intense gaze, a threat running deeper than his words and even though Jared doesn't understand it, it's clear Justin does and he nods shakily.
Jensen slowly lets him up, keeping a sharp eye on them until they've all disappeared back into the party.
"Are you okay?" he asks, taking Jared's hand and leading him back to where he was leaning against the wall before.
"Yeah, I think so," Jared says, wincing as Jensen uses the corner of his shirt to dab at the trickle of blood running from the corner of his mouth. "Thanks."
"I'm sorry. This is all my fault. I should have known better."
"No, you were right. I love you, Jen. I don't want you to be unhappy, to have to pretend to be someone that you're not. It's not fair and I'm sorry for what I said before. I didn't mean it."
"I know. And I'm sorry for not talking to you about it first and for ... God, for everything. Are you sure you're okay?"
"I'm sure. Better anyway now that you're here," Jared says, tugging at Jensen's shirt until he moves in closer.
"Yeah?" Jensen asks, smiling softly.
"Yeah," Jared confirms, wrapping his arms around Jensen's middle.
"You know," Jensen says, resting a hand against Jared's cheek. "I've been thinking. You're finishing school next year. We won't have to hide much longer. We can even start planning how we're gonna do this."
"Alright, I give up. You're right, we can make it. Now would you please shut up and kiss me?"
Instead of bothering to answer, Jensen does just that, carefully pressing his lips against Jared's until Jared opens his mouth, allowing Jensen to deepen the kiss. Jared tries to put his whole heart into the kiss, all the love and want and trust he feels for Jensen. He can feel Jensen doing the same and can't help the soft moan that escapes his lips.
"Jared!" A stern voice cuts through the moment and everything stops. He closes his eyes for a second, feeling Jensen moving away and shoots up a silent prayer without really knowing what he's asking for. Taking a deep breath, he turns to face his father.
"Dad."
"Get in the car," he says, standing only a few feet away, face unreadable.
"But Dad," Jared starts, gesturing towards Jensen, desperate to try and explain.
"Get in the car!" he yells, little gobs of spit flying from his mouth and landing on Jared's cheek.
Jared risks one last glance at Jensen and at Jensen's faint nod, does as he's told.
The drive home is long and awkward. His father's face an unreadable mask. Jared keeps wishing he would talk to him, even if only to scream and yell. Anything to break the chilly silence permeating between them, filling the confined space of their old Honda until Jared can barely breathe. Any attempt to break it from his side is met by the tightening of his father's jaw and a cold stare, so Jared sits back and resigns himself to the hell that's gonna break loose as soon as they get home.
It doesn't though. He gets sent to his room while his parents move into the living room, keeping a quiet vigil next to each other on the coach. Jared can barely make it up the stairs - his whole body feels weighted down by the prospect of the world as he knows it ending. He gets ready for bed, moving carefully so he can listen for their footsteps past his door to their bedroom. He barely sleeps; hears them whispering in the dark.
The house is empty when he wakes up the next morning. As usual his father left for work hours ago. Instead of cooking breakfast like usual, his mother's fled to the neighbours to avoid facing her son alone. Jared deals with the routine of his day in a haze, moving from class to class with no idea what he was supposed to have learned in them. His desperate texts to Jensen go unanswered. He thinks about running away, but he knows that would only make it worse.
The bus drops him on the corner and Jared sits on the curb for awhile, delaying the inevitable for as long as he can. More than anything, he doesn't want to go home.
When his ass has grown numb and the grumble of his stomach can no longer be ignored, Jared gathers up his backpack and all his courage and makes his way home. His heart leaps into his throat when he sees Jensen's truck in the driveway. Jared breaks into a run, covering the distance to his front door in a few long strides. He falls through the door, dropping his things along the way as he makes his way towards the voices coming from the back of the house.
Seeing Jensen sitting at the kitchen table brings him to an abrupt halt.
"Jensen?" he asks. Instead of answering, Jensen drops his head, eyes nailed to the steaming cup of coffee held between his hands.
"Sit down, Jared," his father says, motioning to the empty chair next to Jensen.
Jared sits down stiffly, wringing his hands in his lap. Then he reaches out defiantly, taking one of Jensen's hands in his and twining their fingers together. Jensen tries to pull away, but Jared only tightens his hold. His mother's eyes are fixed on their tightly clasped hands resting on the table, his father pretends not to see it all.
"We asked Jensen to come over to discuss the situation."
"The situation?" Jared asks, hating the way his voice rises half an octave at the end.
"Jared, honey, please don't get upset. We just want to talk to you."
"There's nothing to talk about, Mom."
"Why didn't you tell us? That ... that you liked boys."
Jensen looks away when Jared huffs. "Maybe cause I thought it would go something like this?" Jensen never talks about what it was like to come out to his own parents. Jared wishes he did. Maybe it would have prepared him a little for this.
"This isn't even about that. You know we love you, son. If that's what makes you happy... We're mainly concerned about the age thing."
"What age thing?" Jared asks stubbornly, like it's not the very reason they've kept their relationship secret all along.
"You're seventeen, Jared! Seventeen," Jared's father says. "Jensen's about to start his career, you're about to start your senior year."
"I don't care. I'll quit school and move in with him if you won't let us see each other."
"It's not about letting you see each other, Jared. It's about your future," Jared's mother tries to reason.
"This is exactly what we were worried about," Jared's father interrupts. His wife tries to place a calming hand on his arm, but he shrugs it off. "You're talking about dropping out of school? What happened to graduating? To taking a year off to travel Europe? To going to college."
"College? I don't even know what I want to do yet!"
"Exactly! You don't know anything yet. What kind of job will you get, a high school drop out? Or if you finished, would you go to UT Austen just to be close to him even if Stanford, Princeton or Harvard accepted you?"
Jared opens his mouth, rebuke waiting on the tip of his tongue. There's no argument his parents can raise that will change his mind. It disappears when Jensen slowly pulls his hand out of Jared's.
"Jensen, no."
"He's right," Jensen says to the door. He still won't look at Jared. "I won't be responsible for holding you back. I won't let you ruin your life for me."
"Being with you won't ruin it. It's all I want."
Jensen ignores him, addressing his parents as he gets to his feet instead.
"Thank you for calling me, Mr. Padalecki. Mrs. Padalecki. You." Jensen stops, swallows a few times. "You have a wonderful son."
He stumbles to the door, grabbing at the knob a few times before he can wrap his hand around it and open the door. Jared stares at it slowly swinging shut behind him, stunned.
"What?" he asks, softly. "What did you do?"
"We'll talk more later," Jared's mom says. "Right now you need to go say your goodbyes to Jensen, honey."
Jared nods, is still nodding slowly when he gets to his feet and walks out the door. Jensen's standing next to his truck, one hand curled around the handle and the other furiously scrubbing at his eyes.
"I thought you loved me," Jared says, throwing the accusation like a punch. He steps closer when Jensen doesn't say anything, whispers furtively at the back of Jensen's head. "I thought we were forever."
"Goddammit, Jared, we are." Jensen says, spinning and grabbing hold of Jared. He fists his hands in Jared's shirt and swings him around, pushing him up against the door. His lips land on Jared's, kissing him hard and desperate. Jared's hands fly up, making fists of his own against Jensen's back, pulling him in closer. Jensen breaks the kiss as an agonized sob bursts from his mouth. He bites down on his bottom lip hard enough to draw blood before wrapping his arms around Jared's neck, burying his face in the warm skin there. "If it's real," he whispers, "if it's forever, it'll still be there in five years."
"Jensen," Jared starts, not knowing what he wants to say, only that he doesn't ever want to let go.
"September 12," Jensen says, releasing Jared and pushing him back a little. He cups Jared's face in his hands, forcing him to look Jensen in the eye. "Do you hear me, Jay? September 12, 2004. It's a Sunday. 12 o'clock, I'll be in front of the library. Where we met, remember?"
Jared nods frantically, crying so hard now he's hiccupping a little. His fingers are cramping, his knuckles aching with how tightly he's holding onto Jensen's shirt. Jensen kisses him again. Once, on the lips, but before Jared can kiss him back, he's moving his lips all over Jared's face. He kisses the corner of Jared's mouth, his nose, his cheeks, his eyelids. Then he lets him go.
"I'll be there, 12 o'clock," Jensen says, untangling Jared's fingers and pressing his hands back against his chest.
"12 o'clock," Jared says as Jensen gets into his truck. "September 12."
"It's a Sunday," Jensen promises and then he's gone.
September 12, 2004
"Fuck," Jensen spits for the hundredth time. He spares the pool of icy water he just stepped in a disdainful look before hurrying on. On top of everything, the sudden cold spell has caught him off guard and he's freezing in just a light sweater and thin canvas shoes that are now soaked.
This is not how he pictured today going.
First he overslept, his stupid alarm finally giving up on him after he's thrown it at the wall once too often. Then his car wouldn't start. Fiddling around with it for half an hour only confirmed what he already knew - that he didn't know enough about the inner workings of an engine to fix it himself. Next he had to scramble to get the schedule and fare together for the bus from Dallas to San Antonio and managed to miss the first one.
It feels like everything that could have gone wrong, did. If he was a man to believe in such things, he'd worry about the universe trying to tell him something. As it is, he's actually glad for all the disasters keeping his mind occupied enough that he's barely had time to think about what the day could hold.
Jensen's no fool. He knows what a difference five years can make. For the last year, he's been preparing himself for the distinct possibility that he might get to the library today and Jared won't be there. He's felt guilty for thinking it, for doubting Jared, but he also wouldn't blame him for not coming. Jensen meant what he said all those years ago; he doesn't want to be responsible for holding Jared back. If he's found happiness elsewhere, Jensen wants him to have it, his own broken heart be damned.
"Fuck," Jensen breathes again, sudden tears stinging in his eyes. Jared has to be there.
He looks at his watch again as he nears the last corner. 12:33.
There's a small crowd gathered at the steps of the main building and it catches Jensen by surprise. He sees a leaflet for some kind of special reading stapled to a tree and swallows another curse. His eyes comb through the gathered faces, searching for the lone beloved one amongst them.
It's all in vain, Jared isn't there and the earth shattering disappointment stops Jensen dead in his tracks.
It can't be.
Please God, it can't be.
"Why are you crying?" a little voice asks next to him, an equally small hand tugging at his jeans.
"Because I was supposed to meet someone, and he's not here. I don't know if it's because I was late, or if he didn't ..."
"Is it Jared?" she interrupts and Jensen drops down to his knees to face the little red haired angel at his side.
"What? Yes. But how?" he splutters.
"He was sad too. He was waiting for you."
"When did he leave? Did you see where he went?"
"I can't tell time yet. Mama's been trying to teach me, but I still get confused between the long and the short hand," she says, blushing prettily. "But not long I think. He went to get the bus."
"Thank you," Jensen breathes, handling the little girl off to her approaching mother. "Thank you!"
Jensen turns around, going back the way he came, splashing through the same puddle with a wild whoop.
Jared is there, standing on the corner, waiting to get onto the bus in the exact same spot where Jensen stepped off mere minutes ago. He must have taken the longer route behind the great building while Jensen took the short one in front of it.
He's bundled up in a heavy coat, a nasty gust of wind catching him from behind and blowing his hair - God, it's gotten so long - into his face.
"Jared!"
There's a spike of panic piercing Jensen's heart as he turns at Jensen's call and their eyes meet. It's Jared, but it's not. Gone is the boy Jensen fell in love with, a man he barely knows in his place and Jensen wonders if he's changed just as much in Jared's eyes. Will he still feel the same, still want to be with him?
The questions get picked apart and blown away when the worry and fear in Jared's eyes are replaced by surprise and the familiar warmth of love. A fierce joy threatens to split his grin in two as he takes the first step in Jensen's direction, Jensen's own leaning more towards running flat out.
~End.
Author: joans23
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: PG
Words: 3,840
Summary: The obstacles in the way of their love seem to keep adding up. Will they eventually be able to overcome them?
Notes: I know I just made this incredibly long rambly post, but I got my beta back and there wasn't any work to be done, so I figured I might just as well. Spammy!Joan apologizes. I know I always rave about my awesome beta, but this time kkgee just went above and beyond. She challenged me to make this little bit of self-indulgence for myself and superwicked the best that I could. Thank you so much, Kris!!!! Inspired by a secret pic and an old Afrikaans movie from the sixties.
September 12, 1999
"Jensen working this weekend?"
"What am I, his keeper?" Jared asks, knocking his plastic cup of cola against Chris's beer filled one. "Anyway, you should know. You talk to him way more than I do, dude."
Chris gives him a pointed look that reminds him just how easy it would be to call Jared on his bullshit, but only shrugs. Jensen's just started his final semester to complete his Master of Physical Therapy over at the UT Health Science Centre, and the required clinical classes have kept him pretty busy. They all understand he can't always make it out on the weekends to see them. And even when he does, he doesn't like hanging out at parties. Jared glances over at Justin Hartley and his group of lowlife friends and thinks they can't really blame him. Justin is staring at them, contempt showing plainly all over his face. Something happened between them in highschool to cause the bitter rivalry, though neither Justin nor Jensen will say exactly what. Jared has his suspisions, but knows better than to give voice to them.
"Think he said something about stopping to pick up his date. He'll probably get here soon," Steve says.
His words are barely cold before Jensen appears in the doorway, arm slung casually around the waist of the guy that fixed Chris's truck last week. Silence falls thick and heavy around the room, stomping the party atmosphere down under its heel regardless of how nicely Britney Spears is asking her baby to hit her one more time.
"Fuck," Chris says under his breath. "What the hell's he thinking?"
Jared can't answer, he's too busy trying to relearn how to breathe.
"Hey, what's a guy supposed to do to get a beer around here?" Jensen asks, voice booming out loud and false over the crowd. The unnatural silence lingers a moment longer before Cliff hands them each a cup and the chatter starts up again like the moment never happened.
Jensen catches Jared's eye. He immediately releases his date and motions Jared outside with a barely there tilt of his chin. Jared puts his half empty cup down on the TV while Jensen leans in to whisper some placating lie to the guy at his side.
"Jared," he starts as soon as they step through the sliding doors into the balmy evening, the sweltering Texas heat finally starting to bow down to fall's persistence.
"Don't you fucking dare "Jared" me. I agreed to the whole dating scam. I get why we needed to do it. But what I don't get is why you suddenly decided to bring a guy without even talking to me about it!"
"It's still not real, Jay. It's still you, always you. What does it matter if it's just some guy instead of just some girl?"
"Because it feels more real!" Jared yells and twists away from Jensen, trying to get his emotions under control. "It is different. You can't tell me you don't know that. Why, Jensen?"
"Okay. You're right. I know it isn't the same as bringing Danneel or Kristen or whoever." Jensen takes a step closer to Jared, dropping his voice to whisper in Jared's ear. "I'm just so tired of hiding, Jay. It's bad enough I have to hide how I feel about you ... I can't do anything about that, but I can stop lying about who I am."
"And who you are is apparently fucking Taylor Kitsch," Jared spits, turning around so they're standing face to face.
Jensen takes a careful step back.
"I'm sorry," Jensen says and Jared still doesn't know whether he wants to punch him in the face or kiss him.
"I don't want to hide anymore either," he says. He watches Jensen's head drop, his shoulders slump and now he definitely wants to kiss him.
"We can't, Jared. You know we can't. You're not even out to your parents yet. You know ..."
"I know I love you. I know I want to be with you. I know I want to hold your hand in there, surrounded by our friends and have them know you're mine and I'm yours. I know I want this."
"I do too, more than anything. But it's a bad idea, Jay. As much as I hate sneaking around, I can't risk have them take even that little bit away from us."
"You can't risk? We're in this together, Jen, and I get a say too."
"Oh, yeah?"
"Yeah!"
"Not if it's stupid and will ruin what we have!"
"Hate to break it to you, but there isn't much to ruin!"
"Fuck you!"
"I wish. I keep wanting you to, but you're too chickenshit to step up to the plate!"
"We are not having that discussion again and definitely not now. I'm getting out of here before one of us says something we're gonna regret."
"I think it's already too late for that," Jared says. He turns around and walks toward the back of the house. There's no way he can go back to the party and pretend nothing's happened. His dad's probably gonna come pick him up soon anyway.
"Jay," Jensen calls out after him.
"Just go," Jared says softly. He stops as soon as he rounds the corner and leans back, resting his head against the wall and looking up at the stars as hears the doors slide shut behind Jensen again.
"Well, well, well. Will you look at this. Little faggot boy crying little faggot tears over his little faggot boyfriend. How tragic."
"Fuck off, Justin. What do you know?" Jared asks, jerking upright. Justin's never taken his dislike of Jensen out on him before, but he still feels panic hit him like a punch in the gut.
"I know you guys should try arguing a little softer if you're trying to keep your epic romance a secret."
"You don't know anything. Just leave me alone, alright."
"I don't think so. See, everyone may be too afraid to put Jensen in his place cause they're scared of getting their asses handed to them by those idiot friends of his. But you? Ain't nobody gonna come for you."
Jared tries to back away, but his escape is halted by a hard chest against his back.
"Not so fast, sweetheart," Mike says behind him.
"We're just getting started," Tom says somewhere to his left.
"Come on, guys," Jared tries one last time. He forces a laugh as he tries to shoulder his way through the circle of bodies closing in on him. "Lets go get some beers, what do you say?"
His only answer is a left hook and Jared staggers backwards as pain explodes across his jaw. Before he has a chance to right himself, there's a sharp shot to his kidneys. Doubling over in pain, he's sent to the ground by a kick to his ass. Grass and dirt plough into his open mouth. Jared wants to scream, but his throat refuses to let him. He sees the boot aiming for his face and closes his eyes, bracing himself even though he knows it's useless.
Instead of the expected agony, he gets a surprised yelp. Jared opens his eyes to see Jensen launching himself at Justin. Jensen has Justin's head locked in his arm as he wrestles him away from Jared. The rest of the gang back off, careful.
"Get off him!" Jensen yells and drags Justin down, kicking and screaming.
Jared slowly gets to his feet, clutching at his side. Jensen manages to get on top of Justin, straddling his hips and pinning his arms down above his head.
"Wish I could say it's nice to know not much has changed. You're just as much a coward as ever, Hartley."
Justin struggles, trying to buck Jensen off, but Jensen only tighens his hold. He leans down, looking Justin in the eye.
"Stay away from him," he says, voice low and dangerous. There's a silent message passing from Jensen's intense gaze, a threat running deeper than his words and even though Jared doesn't understand it, it's clear Justin does and he nods shakily.
Jensen slowly lets him up, keeping a sharp eye on them until they've all disappeared back into the party.
"Are you okay?" he asks, taking Jared's hand and leading him back to where he was leaning against the wall before.
"Yeah, I think so," Jared says, wincing as Jensen uses the corner of his shirt to dab at the trickle of blood running from the corner of his mouth. "Thanks."
"I'm sorry. This is all my fault. I should have known better."
"No, you were right. I love you, Jen. I don't want you to be unhappy, to have to pretend to be someone that you're not. It's not fair and I'm sorry for what I said before. I didn't mean it."
"I know. And I'm sorry for not talking to you about it first and for ... God, for everything. Are you sure you're okay?"
"I'm sure. Better anyway now that you're here," Jared says, tugging at Jensen's shirt until he moves in closer.
"Yeah?" Jensen asks, smiling softly.
"Yeah," Jared confirms, wrapping his arms around Jensen's middle.
"You know," Jensen says, resting a hand against Jared's cheek. "I've been thinking. You're finishing school next year. We won't have to hide much longer. We can even start planning how we're gonna do this."
"Alright, I give up. You're right, we can make it. Now would you please shut up and kiss me?"
Instead of bothering to answer, Jensen does just that, carefully pressing his lips against Jared's until Jared opens his mouth, allowing Jensen to deepen the kiss. Jared tries to put his whole heart into the kiss, all the love and want and trust he feels for Jensen. He can feel Jensen doing the same and can't help the soft moan that escapes his lips.
"Jared!" A stern voice cuts through the moment and everything stops. He closes his eyes for a second, feeling Jensen moving away and shoots up a silent prayer without really knowing what he's asking for. Taking a deep breath, he turns to face his father.
"Dad."
"Get in the car," he says, standing only a few feet away, face unreadable.
"But Dad," Jared starts, gesturing towards Jensen, desperate to try and explain.
"Get in the car!" he yells, little gobs of spit flying from his mouth and landing on Jared's cheek.
Jared risks one last glance at Jensen and at Jensen's faint nod, does as he's told.
The drive home is long and awkward. His father's face an unreadable mask. Jared keeps wishing he would talk to him, even if only to scream and yell. Anything to break the chilly silence permeating between them, filling the confined space of their old Honda until Jared can barely breathe. Any attempt to break it from his side is met by the tightening of his father's jaw and a cold stare, so Jared sits back and resigns himself to the hell that's gonna break loose as soon as they get home.
It doesn't though. He gets sent to his room while his parents move into the living room, keeping a quiet vigil next to each other on the coach. Jared can barely make it up the stairs - his whole body feels weighted down by the prospect of the world as he knows it ending. He gets ready for bed, moving carefully so he can listen for their footsteps past his door to their bedroom. He barely sleeps; hears them whispering in the dark.
The house is empty when he wakes up the next morning. As usual his father left for work hours ago. Instead of cooking breakfast like usual, his mother's fled to the neighbours to avoid facing her son alone. Jared deals with the routine of his day in a haze, moving from class to class with no idea what he was supposed to have learned in them. His desperate texts to Jensen go unanswered. He thinks about running away, but he knows that would only make it worse.
The bus drops him on the corner and Jared sits on the curb for awhile, delaying the inevitable for as long as he can. More than anything, he doesn't want to go home.
When his ass has grown numb and the grumble of his stomach can no longer be ignored, Jared gathers up his backpack and all his courage and makes his way home. His heart leaps into his throat when he sees Jensen's truck in the driveway. Jared breaks into a run, covering the distance to his front door in a few long strides. He falls through the door, dropping his things along the way as he makes his way towards the voices coming from the back of the house.
Seeing Jensen sitting at the kitchen table brings him to an abrupt halt.
"Jensen?" he asks. Instead of answering, Jensen drops his head, eyes nailed to the steaming cup of coffee held between his hands.
"Sit down, Jared," his father says, motioning to the empty chair next to Jensen.
Jared sits down stiffly, wringing his hands in his lap. Then he reaches out defiantly, taking one of Jensen's hands in his and twining their fingers together. Jensen tries to pull away, but Jared only tightens his hold. His mother's eyes are fixed on their tightly clasped hands resting on the table, his father pretends not to see it all.
"We asked Jensen to come over to discuss the situation."
"The situation?" Jared asks, hating the way his voice rises half an octave at the end.
"Jared, honey, please don't get upset. We just want to talk to you."
"There's nothing to talk about, Mom."
"Why didn't you tell us? That ... that you liked boys."
Jensen looks away when Jared huffs. "Maybe cause I thought it would go something like this?" Jensen never talks about what it was like to come out to his own parents. Jared wishes he did. Maybe it would have prepared him a little for this.
"This isn't even about that. You know we love you, son. If that's what makes you happy... We're mainly concerned about the age thing."
"What age thing?" Jared asks stubbornly, like it's not the very reason they've kept their relationship secret all along.
"You're seventeen, Jared! Seventeen," Jared's father says. "Jensen's about to start his career, you're about to start your senior year."
"I don't care. I'll quit school and move in with him if you won't let us see each other."
"It's not about letting you see each other, Jared. It's about your future," Jared's mother tries to reason.
"This is exactly what we were worried about," Jared's father interrupts. His wife tries to place a calming hand on his arm, but he shrugs it off. "You're talking about dropping out of school? What happened to graduating? To taking a year off to travel Europe? To going to college."
"College? I don't even know what I want to do yet!"
"Exactly! You don't know anything yet. What kind of job will you get, a high school drop out? Or if you finished, would you go to UT Austen just to be close to him even if Stanford, Princeton or Harvard accepted you?"
Jared opens his mouth, rebuke waiting on the tip of his tongue. There's no argument his parents can raise that will change his mind. It disappears when Jensen slowly pulls his hand out of Jared's.
"Jensen, no."
"He's right," Jensen says to the door. He still won't look at Jared. "I won't be responsible for holding you back. I won't let you ruin your life for me."
"Being with you won't ruin it. It's all I want."
Jensen ignores him, addressing his parents as he gets to his feet instead.
"Thank you for calling me, Mr. Padalecki. Mrs. Padalecki. You." Jensen stops, swallows a few times. "You have a wonderful son."
He stumbles to the door, grabbing at the knob a few times before he can wrap his hand around it and open the door. Jared stares at it slowly swinging shut behind him, stunned.
"What?" he asks, softly. "What did you do?"
"We'll talk more later," Jared's mom says. "Right now you need to go say your goodbyes to Jensen, honey."
Jared nods, is still nodding slowly when he gets to his feet and walks out the door. Jensen's standing next to his truck, one hand curled around the handle and the other furiously scrubbing at his eyes.
"I thought you loved me," Jared says, throwing the accusation like a punch. He steps closer when Jensen doesn't say anything, whispers furtively at the back of Jensen's head. "I thought we were forever."
"Goddammit, Jared, we are." Jensen says, spinning and grabbing hold of Jared. He fists his hands in Jared's shirt and swings him around, pushing him up against the door. His lips land on Jared's, kissing him hard and desperate. Jared's hands fly up, making fists of his own against Jensen's back, pulling him in closer. Jensen breaks the kiss as an agonized sob bursts from his mouth. He bites down on his bottom lip hard enough to draw blood before wrapping his arms around Jared's neck, burying his face in the warm skin there. "If it's real," he whispers, "if it's forever, it'll still be there in five years."
"Jensen," Jared starts, not knowing what he wants to say, only that he doesn't ever want to let go.
"September 12," Jensen says, releasing Jared and pushing him back a little. He cups Jared's face in his hands, forcing him to look Jensen in the eye. "Do you hear me, Jay? September 12, 2004. It's a Sunday. 12 o'clock, I'll be in front of the library. Where we met, remember?"
Jared nods frantically, crying so hard now he's hiccupping a little. His fingers are cramping, his knuckles aching with how tightly he's holding onto Jensen's shirt. Jensen kisses him again. Once, on the lips, but before Jared can kiss him back, he's moving his lips all over Jared's face. He kisses the corner of Jared's mouth, his nose, his cheeks, his eyelids. Then he lets him go.
"I'll be there, 12 o'clock," Jensen says, untangling Jared's fingers and pressing his hands back against his chest.
"12 o'clock," Jared says as Jensen gets into his truck. "September 12."
"It's a Sunday," Jensen promises and then he's gone.
September 12, 2004
"Fuck," Jensen spits for the hundredth time. He spares the pool of icy water he just stepped in a disdainful look before hurrying on. On top of everything, the sudden cold spell has caught him off guard and he's freezing in just a light sweater and thin canvas shoes that are now soaked.
This is not how he pictured today going.
First he overslept, his stupid alarm finally giving up on him after he's thrown it at the wall once too often. Then his car wouldn't start. Fiddling around with it for half an hour only confirmed what he already knew - that he didn't know enough about the inner workings of an engine to fix it himself. Next he had to scramble to get the schedule and fare together for the bus from Dallas to San Antonio and managed to miss the first one.
It feels like everything that could have gone wrong, did. If he was a man to believe in such things, he'd worry about the universe trying to tell him something. As it is, he's actually glad for all the disasters keeping his mind occupied enough that he's barely had time to think about what the day could hold.
Jensen's no fool. He knows what a difference five years can make. For the last year, he's been preparing himself for the distinct possibility that he might get to the library today and Jared won't be there. He's felt guilty for thinking it, for doubting Jared, but he also wouldn't blame him for not coming. Jensen meant what he said all those years ago; he doesn't want to be responsible for holding Jared back. If he's found happiness elsewhere, Jensen wants him to have it, his own broken heart be damned.
"Fuck," Jensen breathes again, sudden tears stinging in his eyes. Jared has to be there.
He looks at his watch again as he nears the last corner. 12:33.
There's a small crowd gathered at the steps of the main building and it catches Jensen by surprise. He sees a leaflet for some kind of special reading stapled to a tree and swallows another curse. His eyes comb through the gathered faces, searching for the lone beloved one amongst them.
It's all in vain, Jared isn't there and the earth shattering disappointment stops Jensen dead in his tracks.
It can't be.
Please God, it can't be.
"Why are you crying?" a little voice asks next to him, an equally small hand tugging at his jeans.
"Because I was supposed to meet someone, and he's not here. I don't know if it's because I was late, or if he didn't ..."
"Is it Jared?" she interrupts and Jensen drops down to his knees to face the little red haired angel at his side.
"What? Yes. But how?" he splutters.
"He was sad too. He was waiting for you."
"When did he leave? Did you see where he went?"
"I can't tell time yet. Mama's been trying to teach me, but I still get confused between the long and the short hand," she says, blushing prettily. "But not long I think. He went to get the bus."
"Thank you," Jensen breathes, handling the little girl off to her approaching mother. "Thank you!"
Jensen turns around, going back the way he came, splashing through the same puddle with a wild whoop.
Jared is there, standing on the corner, waiting to get onto the bus in the exact same spot where Jensen stepped off mere minutes ago. He must have taken the longer route behind the great building while Jensen took the short one in front of it.
He's bundled up in a heavy coat, a nasty gust of wind catching him from behind and blowing his hair - God, it's gotten so long - into his face.
"Jared!"
There's a spike of panic piercing Jensen's heart as he turns at Jensen's call and their eyes meet. It's Jared, but it's not. Gone is the boy Jensen fell in love with, a man he barely knows in his place and Jensen wonders if he's changed just as much in Jared's eyes. Will he still feel the same, still want to be with him?
The questions get picked apart and blown away when the worry and fear in Jared's eyes are replaced by surprise and the familiar warmth of love. A fierce joy threatens to split his grin in two as he takes the first step in Jensen's direction, Jensen's own leaning more towards running flat out.
~End.