Fic: Touch the sky
Title: Touch the sky
Author: joans23
Rating: PG
Pairing: Jared/Kristen
Summary: She could have this.
Notes: Requested by theladyscribe, inspired by who-favor-fire's lovely Midnight Rendezvous, for the Pantheon verse. I think this makes 20! Title and cut from Don McLean.
"What?"
Jared's leaning in the kitchen doorway, one hand behind his back as he looks down at his feet, his hair, always too long, hanging over his eyes.
"Nothin'."
"Jared ..." Kristen warns, putting down the knife to wag a finger at him, " ... what?"
He lets his arm swing from behind his back and holds his hand out to her, clutching a bundle of colourful brochures.
Kristen rolls her eyes and goes back to chopping the tomatoes for the salad they're contributing to the Padalecki clan's annual 4th of July barbecue. "You want to go on a holiday? You could have just said so, Jay, no need for the melodrama."
"It's not for a holiday," Jared mumbles and takes the one step he needs to be right next to her. "I've been thinking ... about kids."
"Whose kids?"
"Ours."
Kristen carefully puts the knife down again and looks up at him.
"Jared, we've talked about this. I can't."
"No, your body can't. You can."
Kristen briefly pushes a knuckle under her left eye, willing the burning tears away. For the longest time she struggled with the knowledge that she'd never be able to have kids, but somehow she's made peace with it. She's managed to convince herself it's something she doesn't want, doesn't need.
One of the first things she learned about Jared when they got together was how he wanted kids. That's why she turned him down the first time he asked her to marry him. There was nothing that she'd wanted more than to spend the rest of her life with this loving, gentle, larger than life man that had completely stolen her heart. But she couldn't give him the one thing he wanted most of all. A family of his own. Zach's the one that finally convinced her to at least be honest and tell Jared why she said no. Jared had started crying and wrapped her up in his arms. Told her it didn't matter and he wanted to marry her anyway. It was selfish, she knew that, but she couldn't make herself let go of him again.
Jared moves the chopping board out of the way, fans the little pamphlets out on the counter and turns to lean back onto it as he waits for her to look at them.
"Kris, say something," he asks when she just continues to quietly stand there next to him.
"We need to go get ready, or we'll be late," Kristen says sharply. She steps back from Jared, slipping the apron over her head and very pointedly does not looking at him.
"Kris ..."
"Not now, Jared. I just ... can't." She does look at him then and the naked despair in that she sees in his eyes, that she put there, twists like a knife in her heart. This is why she should have let him go. She knew this would happen one day.
They change quickly, avoiding each other as best they can, and the drive over is painfully silent and steeped in tension.
Jared's mom accosts them as soon as they step into the backyard, dragging Jared over to help his dad with the burgers. "Before he ruins the lot. I need something to feed all these people!" Jared lets himself be led easily enough, throwing his head back with a booming laugh when his dad hands over the tongs with a grateful sigh.
Jeff walks over to say hello, his youngest squealing as he sits on his daddy's shoulders and promptly drops the kid in her arms when Jared's dad beckons him over with an ice cold beer.
"Men!" Jared's mom exclaims, rolling her eyes at the lot of them standing round the grill. "Here, sweetie, I can take him."
"No, that's alright," Kristen says as the baby flings his pudgy little arms around her neck, pressing his dirty little face in under her chin. He smells like baby shampoo and chocolate and he's warm and heavy against her chest. Briefly Kristen squeezes her eyes shut and tightens her hold on the squirming little body before setting him down to crawl off towards his mother.
She could have this.
She looks over to Jared and he's looking back at her. It's guarded, careful, scared to be hopeful and she smiles at him and nods. He quirks an eyebrow at her and mouths Really? and she nods again, sure. Kristen hardly sees him move before he's there, sweeping her up into his arms and the others are looking at them like they're insane, but she just holds on and lets him rain kisses down onto her face.
They're gonna have this.
~End.
Author: joans23
Rating: PG
Pairing: Jared/Kristen
Summary: She could have this.
Notes: Requested by theladyscribe, inspired by who-favor-fire's lovely Midnight Rendezvous, for the Pantheon verse. I think this makes 20! Title and cut from Don McLean.
"What?"
Jared's leaning in the kitchen doorway, one hand behind his back as he looks down at his feet, his hair, always too long, hanging over his eyes.
"Nothin'."
"Jared ..." Kristen warns, putting down the knife to wag a finger at him, " ... what?"
He lets his arm swing from behind his back and holds his hand out to her, clutching a bundle of colourful brochures.
Kristen rolls her eyes and goes back to chopping the tomatoes for the salad they're contributing to the Padalecki clan's annual 4th of July barbecue. "You want to go on a holiday? You could have just said so, Jay, no need for the melodrama."
"It's not for a holiday," Jared mumbles and takes the one step he needs to be right next to her. "I've been thinking ... about kids."
"Whose kids?"
"Ours."
Kristen carefully puts the knife down again and looks up at him.
"Jared, we've talked about this. I can't."
"No, your body can't. You can."
Kristen briefly pushes a knuckle under her left eye, willing the burning tears away. For the longest time she struggled with the knowledge that she'd never be able to have kids, but somehow she's made peace with it. She's managed to convince herself it's something she doesn't want, doesn't need.
One of the first things she learned about Jared when they got together was how he wanted kids. That's why she turned him down the first time he asked her to marry him. There was nothing that she'd wanted more than to spend the rest of her life with this loving, gentle, larger than life man that had completely stolen her heart. But she couldn't give him the one thing he wanted most of all. A family of his own. Zach's the one that finally convinced her to at least be honest and tell Jared why she said no. Jared had started crying and wrapped her up in his arms. Told her it didn't matter and he wanted to marry her anyway. It was selfish, she knew that, but she couldn't make herself let go of him again.
Jared moves the chopping board out of the way, fans the little pamphlets out on the counter and turns to lean back onto it as he waits for her to look at them.
"Kris, say something," he asks when she just continues to quietly stand there next to him.
"We need to go get ready, or we'll be late," Kristen says sharply. She steps back from Jared, slipping the apron over her head and very pointedly does not looking at him.
"Kris ..."
"Not now, Jared. I just ... can't." She does look at him then and the naked despair in that she sees in his eyes, that she put there, twists like a knife in her heart. This is why she should have let him go. She knew this would happen one day.
They change quickly, avoiding each other as best they can, and the drive over is painfully silent and steeped in tension.
Jared's mom accosts them as soon as they step into the backyard, dragging Jared over to help his dad with the burgers. "Before he ruins the lot. I need something to feed all these people!" Jared lets himself be led easily enough, throwing his head back with a booming laugh when his dad hands over the tongs with a grateful sigh.
Jeff walks over to say hello, his youngest squealing as he sits on his daddy's shoulders and promptly drops the kid in her arms when Jared's dad beckons him over with an ice cold beer.
"Men!" Jared's mom exclaims, rolling her eyes at the lot of them standing round the grill. "Here, sweetie, I can take him."
"No, that's alright," Kristen says as the baby flings his pudgy little arms around her neck, pressing his dirty little face in under her chin. He smells like baby shampoo and chocolate and he's warm and heavy against her chest. Briefly Kristen squeezes her eyes shut and tightens her hold on the squirming little body before setting him down to crawl off towards his mother.
She could have this.
She looks over to Jared and he's looking back at her. It's guarded, careful, scared to be hopeful and she smiles at him and nods. He quirks an eyebrow at her and mouths Really? and she nods again, sure. Kristen hardly sees him move before he's there, sweeping her up into his arms and the others are looking at them like they're insane, but she just holds on and lets him rain kisses down onto her face.
They're gonna have this.
~End.