She's taken of course!

[jobe57]

You know I feel like my stomach is turning inside out and that my arms are weak and I feel sick. Just sometimes this whole feeling alone thing really can suck ass, I mean it really kicks in on the holidays when I work at a mall where I see hundreds of couples walking by holding each other or hands and I serve them popcorn with a smile. As they

Comments

[exeunt_all]

good sex can be truly liberating. Few things on earth really compare when it's done right and the respect and passion are there. It's a drug, it can be expensive, taxing and you never want to stop it, to cut off your best supply. Life is hard. You're still young. 52% of people your age are women. Every one of them is completely confused, too.

Yeah but

[jobe57]

I know Matt and I've come to understand that life is hard, and the shit is sadly only going to get harder, I'm prepared for that journey, the thing that gets me though is walking that path alone. I mean I tried the jesus route, I'm still trying it, but I have trouble with faith and believing that he's there when there is nothing in front of my eyes. My family though supportive but not as strong as they are destructive is there but I can tell that they're fading and for my friends, I get a feeling they'd much rather walk their own path and follow their own journey and they'd appreciate it more if I helped them on theirs. Its just confusing and stressful and I wish these 52% that you speak of would at least half come to their senses so that no one has to feel this way. As for the sex part, your probably right, I haven't had one experience yet where it was good, and probably when I do experience it like half of america has, I will be hooked and conflicted, just is it really all worth it? I mean doesn't it bring on loads of unneeded drama

[anonymous]

There is the best resolution I have ever heard, "so no more resolutions, I don’t feel I have anything to change anymore, forget changing, fuck change.." And no you're not "stuck" Malik, maybe you are unique and you are at a point that is good and you should stay that way. Maybe you've had bad situations and as the poster before me said "all girls are confused" well she is right. We all are. Maybe it wasn't you all this time but maybe it wasn't all "them." Maybe everyone has their own shit and we all feel the same. The same as in we all feel like worthless shit heads who can't do anything right. I feel lonley all of the time but if I tell myself that it's all my fault that I can't get a true meaningful relationship then I jsut make myself feel worse and I don't deserve that and NEITHER DO YOU. I happen to know for a fact that you are a very amazing person, that you are unique in a good way. I also know that maybe you have done things you regret but that doesn't mean that you're "stuck" or that you should give up on anything. I have

[babybeccat]

I have the same problems, I mean yeah most of the people that I fall hard for are gay but that means that I have zero chance . I want to love as well, I want someone that can just smile at me and a bad day just goes away. Sometimes it feels like it's hopeless but were only 20 and we should be experiencing other things in life. Other people feel like you do. I had this conversation with steven in the middle of the semester and he too is like you. Love is an important factor in life but you can love friends and family and then one day you (and me), I know, will find the love that we want and it will be so so perfect because we waited for them but for now enjoy and love your life the way it is right now. Alright, I will shut up now cause you probably don't wanting to be hearing this.....

thanks

[jobe57]

I agree that we're only 20, that there is so much more to life, but for some reason I've never been one to go out to experience it, as a child I was always writing or online chatting, complete nerd watching movies, sometimes sometimse I went out on a limb and played T-ball, or soccer, or the violin, piano and recorder, but I don't know, now as I write and do these films I feel like there is only this small section I can write about because of my lack of experiences. Alex always told me that the great thing about being a filmmaker is that you can be any job, you can wake up and do a movie on a doctor and you become that doctor. My question is how the hell can I do a romantic comedy about love, and know nothing of it? I really want to experience that on a high level, along with thrills like street racing and concerts. I've fallen somewhat in a number with the love that I have for my family, its me moving further away from them, but we seem to accept that, and I love my friends, I tell them and remind them how much they mean to me, but