Me: Paris Hilton eats lots of Watermelon as part of her diet.

Cailey: Yeah, and she drinks lots of Red Bull too!

Richard: That's hott!

That couldn't have been any more perfect, if you've ever heard Paris Hilton's catch phrase.

I got a parking ticket in front of my own fucking house today. $150. I stayed at Jesse's last night and I had to work this morning but I forgot my apron, so I went home, parked, ran inside, went to the bathroom and grabbed my apron and when I came back out I had a ticket on my windshield. I was facing the wrong way and apparently you can't do that ( Read more... )

I was just playing with this skeleton hand thing my brother has, where you have to pull on these trigger-like things to move the fingers, and I tried to pick up a bottle with it but it ended up looking like I was giving it a handjob and I totally offended my parents and my little brother. That was awesome.

I heard on the radio that they guy who sings that song that's like "You're beautiful, you're beautiful, you're beautiful, it's true!" put his sister on eBay. I seriously think he's so fucking cool now. I think I should put MY sister on eBay ( Read more... )

This boy walked out to his mailbox before school one morning and found a letter inside addressed to him but there was no return address.  He opened up the letter and to his surprise it was all in French. He speaks absolutely no French so he had no idea what the letter said. He put the letter in his pocket and headed toward the school bus.

On the way ( Read more... )

Lyz's party last night was a success. Except for my douchebag neighbors. Just because my bitch neighbor had a bastard son then married the nerdiest guy she could find and moved into a house right by the university doesn't mean I should have to suffer. I really don't care if I keep that four year old brat up all night. That's probably the only taste ( Read more... )

"Drew likes those black asian cherry cokes" - my dad. My family sure knows how to say all the right things. My whole family went to dinner on the 11th for my mom's birthday to Takamatsu. My grandparents were being so rediculous. My grandpa looks at the guy who's cooking our food and asks, "So, were you born in China?" It's a Japanese restaurant. I ( Read more... )

( I figure it's time to take these photos off of my computer )

I haven't talked to Jesse since the night we broke up. I think it has helped a lot. I'm really scared though. If history repeats itself, in less than a week he will call me upset and ask me to come over and he'll cry and tell me how much he needs me and wants me back. I don't know if I can handle it. We'll see how tomorrow night at work goes. I ( Read more... )

That's it. It's over. I'm done. I'm not doing this anymore. I don't need all these ups and downs in my life. I'm sick of being part of THAT couple that always breaks up and gets back together. It's rediculous and I'm not doing this anymore. Jesse and I broke up last night and I really, really, really hope I can stay strong and stick by this. If we ( Read more... )