It's always hard/awkward to post a comment to long and thoughtful posts because I don't want to minimize anything you've said or are thinking. I just wanted to say that I think it's fantastic that you're such a thinker. It's hard to care so much, but don't deny that of yourself. Make sure you care for yourself too. Oh, and breathe long. Deep is good too, but long breathing is the key to relaxing.
Here's my take on it, having gone through a similar need..it seems like all the time I spent trying to master learning to be happy with myself was less actually learning to be happy with myself and more learning to be happy without others. The problem was that I never actually did. It became more that I proved myself that I could survive without other people and then went right back to needing them under the misguided notion that it was okay because I could survive without them if I absolutely had to..
Point being, it's tough to train yourself to feel or not feel things because it generally turns out to be a very temporary fix. And I've learned from experience that there's really no way to make yourself care less about even the people who treat you badly.
Have faith, you'll find your place in the world when you're not looking for it.
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Here's a cool little film that expresses a lot of how I feel, and I think a lot of people around our age feel: http://film.karimkai.com/LetterNo5.mpg
Enjoy.
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Point being, it's tough to train yourself to feel or not feel things because it generally turns out to be a very temporary fix. And I've learned from experience that there's really no way to make yourself care less about even the people who treat you badly.
Have faith, you'll find your place in the world when you're not looking for it.
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