More truth...

[joegoda]

Now... keep in mind, mean spirited does not mean mean. It means that, at least from my viewpoint, that the insides are mean, the spirit is mean... the essence is mean. I could be the sweetest person in the world, but if I have a mean spirit, then it means I'm rotten at the core. And, apparently, it's a known thing among those who know me. I don

Comments

[apocalypticbob]

Just as a point of clarification, poly people don't think there will be no jealousy or neediness in their relationships. They believe that with communication, you can work through those to make sure everyone's needs are met, but they don't deny that the emotions will occur. They just think that you don't have to be bound to the traditional ways of expressing those emotions.

I've tried poly relationships twice now, which is enough for me to realize that while they do have benefits, they aren't the lifestyle for me.

[joegoda]

Appreciate the clarification, my dear. And I agree, with proper communication, respect, understanding and acceptance, any relationship, regardless of the number involved, will work. Emotions are going to happen, it's what is done with those emotions that matter. And while, intellectually, they may think you don't have to be bound by the traditional ways, humans tend to consistently express them as they have always been.
If one can remove the possessiveness from a relationship, remove the concept that 'You are Mine!', and move to the concept of 'You are You and I am joyous to be with you as part of your life' then those relationships might have a chance.
We, as humans, carry too much baggage from childhood, religious beliefs, parents, society and even our own doubts and insecurities to be so non-egocentric as to allow another the freedom to be truly who and what they are.
Maybe someday...

[ladyegreen]

Things I don't mind or even am pleased for in regards to others that don't work for me.

Poly relationships would be one. I have a hard enough time with one on one relationships. Sometimes there is still one to many people in the relationship even then. I have too much need to be alone and by myself.

Still, if anyone were going to create a comedy, tragic or otherwise, and could do it justice, it would be you.

[joegoda]

Ah, my dear... you give me far too much credit.

[bountifulpots]

I very much hope to see you in 8 years. ;)

[joegoda]

I'll have the 100 dollars ready. How many people are in your group?

[the_snowgoose]

Good points to consider.  I can recall only one poly that is working on 30 years together.

The rest is the stuff you'll find in a Calahan novel.

[joegoda]

Wow! Thirty years. That is impressive, indeed. And it is a true poly relationship? Same house, shared living conditions and all that stuff?

[the_snowgoose]

Yes, the McCoy. Shared four storey house and all the stuff. Still very happy.

[joegoda]

And most assuredly agree on the Calahan novel, and even then, it didn't always work out well.