Yep. I still feel like that about my ex, even though I left him because he was, ultimately, charming, but utterly useless, and the utterly useless part became too much to deal with. I still feel regret and sadness and bitterness over this, even though I feel free and able to be myself in ways I've not been able to for years.
I am in turn and simultaneously very sad and upset that I am not with Alan anymore It sometimes feels like I'm just having a very vivid dream and I'll wake up and be at home, happy with Alan and Cambridge But also very glad that he's not in my life anymore and deeply resentful that I ever wasted my time on him
I miss the Alan I had when i was important to him I don't miss the Alan who just sat on the couch not realising he could or should say or do something about how many spoons his job took or that we weren't looking out for us as a couple. And I really don't miss the Alan I had when he started dating flic, he was so much of an arse he even apologised for it when I dropped the cat off
So the Alan i miss is so far in the past I think I missed him before we broke up
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It sometimes feels like I'm just having a very vivid dream and I'll wake up and be at home, happy with Alan and Cambridge
But also very glad that he's not in my life anymore and deeply resentful that I ever wasted my time on him
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I don't really miss Sandy. I'm kind of surprised by how little I miss Sandy.
Even so, I did have a "But... we..." moment when I saw pictures of him and J in Paris.
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I don't miss the Alan who just sat on the couch not realising he could or should say or do something about how many spoons his job took or that we weren't looking out for us as a couple.
And I really don't miss the Alan I had when he started dating flic, he was so much of an arse he even apologised for it when I dropped the cat off
So the Alan i miss is so far in the past
I think I missed him before we broke up
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