NSFW
Let me first state that, while this is public (I am not interested in hiding), I know that some people (like my sister?) read this journal that might prefer not to know the intimate details of my emotional and sexual life.
If you fall into that category, I suggest you do not
(Preemptive disclaimer: I am tired and it is late. But this has been bothering me, I think, for a while now.)
It's my birthday. I cannot help but feel a little bit melancholy -- not about my age, but about the fact that the excitement of having a birthday peaked in my preteen years and has been steadily decreasing every year. I almost resorted to asking someone else to give me examples for what one would do on one's birthday.
But that's not the main problem.
The main problem is that I haven't been topped/Dominated/held for at least six months, and I am beginning to understand that this is making me unhappy. Perhaps it is lack of sleep, but my emotional balance is suffering, and that means something is probably wrong. Unfortunately, I can think of no quick fix for this. I know two doms who I would trust to top me - Austin, and Kaya. He's straight, and I'm pretty sure she's gay and in an exclusive LTR.
What do I want? I don't even know. I want to be tied up. I want to be hurt. I want to be held. I want someone to do the things I want to me without having to be talked through it.
If you fall into that category, I suggest you do not
(Preemptive disclaimer: I am tired and it is late. But this has been bothering me, I think, for a while now.)
It's my birthday. I cannot help but feel a little bit melancholy -- not about my age, but about the fact that the excitement of having a birthday peaked in my preteen years and has been steadily decreasing every year. I almost resorted to asking someone else to give me examples for what one would do on one's birthday.
But that's not the main problem.
The main problem is that I haven't been topped/Dominated/held for at least six months, and I am beginning to understand that this is making me unhappy. Perhaps it is lack of sleep, but my emotional balance is suffering, and that means something is probably wrong. Unfortunately, I can think of no quick fix for this. I know two doms who I would trust to top me - Austin, and Kaya. He's straight, and I'm pretty sure she's gay and in an exclusive LTR.
What do I want? I don't even know. I want to be tied up. I want to be hurt. I want to be held. I want someone to do the things I want to me without having to be talked through it.