I was, initially, waiting for a spare moment to arise within my typically hectic existence, one that I could dedicate guiltlessly to a heartfelt update. It would be filled with meaningful reflection about my time here thus far, perhaps even ending in catharsis or growth of some sort ( Read more... )

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For those of you who don't know, my mother has, for the last week, been staying in the hospital with her sister (my aunt susie) who, weak from her recently completed chemo and radiation treatments, fell, and shattered her entire shoulder ( Read more... )

It is the one year anniversary of Tali's death and I find myself angry that a year in the real world has had the audacity to pass without her, when my own world is forever frozen.

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This boy smells like a memory. He sleeps, and I lay next to him in summer, stroking his long brown hair and inhaling this memory. He smells of being young again, in more ways than age. He smells of being who I was three years ago, in summer, like now, tan, like now, waist long hair bleached blonde by the sun like now, timid, not like now, standing ( Read more... )

I have two days off starting tonight, thank the lord. I'm seeing Jim for both of them, then it's back to work and monday I leave for Atlanta to see Ana and Adam. It will be good to be with with people that have things to say to me besides "extra creamer", "hold the potatoes", and "check please". So good....

Double digets will always remind me of Kristy whose boyfriend died at 11:11 and who see's double digets on the clock whenever she thinks of him ( Read more... )

When speaking typically about how I perceive people, situations, life in general, Adam often asks me if I consider myself a solipsist. Though I often claim "no" for fear of feeding a cliche of some sort ( what person, at one point or another hasn't come to the angsty conclusion that they are the only person alive) I have often thought the answer ( Read more... )

i just don't know anymore....anything.