This is the same old story of growing up and getting lost
Dammit, I'm mad
(palindrome for emphasis)
I've been thinking alot lately... I've pretty much been throwing my life away it seems. I was at a great college, but I fucked that up. Even at the mediocre (at best) institution that I'm currently attending (HCC), I'm failing to excel. I'm smart enough, that isn't even a factor. I'm just a lazy bum. I'm 20, but I live at home, don't have a job, have damn near no friends off-line, and have had very little relationship experience with females, almost all of which has been fucked up beyond all belief. I'm an out-of-shape pathetic chauvinistic failure. The worst part is that I know that it's MY fault. I'm the fuckup. I'm convinced that it's too late to change things, but that just can't be true. I really need to learn how to turn my life around. I need to make friends. I need to take better care of myself. I need to try to get rid of this fucking lisp. I need to stop being such an annoying attention-whore. I need to stop looking for others for help like I deserve it or like they owe it to me. Even now, part of me is probably thinking that I should write this just to get pity. But I'd rather think that I'm writing this to get it out there, so that I might be motivated to actually make a change or two. I look at my friends and all the other people around me, and they're all moving on with life. They're all growing as people, constantly changing. I'm just stuck because I refuse to accept the fact that I can change. Hopefully, I'll start trying to live a better life soon.
I'm definitely going to have to get the surgery this summer... which bites horribly. My summer will consist of summer school for one semester's worth, then recovering from surgery. Fun fun. My friend that had the same surgery said that he didn't move off his couch (except for basic bodily functions and other exceptions like that) for a MONTH. I, luckily, am a very good healer... but I fear how big the cyst inside me will be. I'm hoping to be mobile alot sooner than that, but we'll see.
I need to START on my Art Appreciation online course. Yes, START. See above about me being a fuckup.
I decided to probably try for the website bonelessthursdays.com, do y'all like that idea? It seems most people find it real catchy and like it. Don't forget, my new SN is BonelessThursday (singular).
Adios for now, thanks if you actually read all of that.
(palindrome for emphasis)
I've been thinking alot lately... I've pretty much been throwing my life away it seems. I was at a great college, but I fucked that up. Even at the mediocre (at best) institution that I'm currently attending (HCC), I'm failing to excel. I'm smart enough, that isn't even a factor. I'm just a lazy bum. I'm 20, but I live at home, don't have a job, have damn near no friends off-line, and have had very little relationship experience with females, almost all of which has been fucked up beyond all belief. I'm an out-of-shape pathetic chauvinistic failure. The worst part is that I know that it's MY fault. I'm the fuckup. I'm convinced that it's too late to change things, but that just can't be true. I really need to learn how to turn my life around. I need to make friends. I need to take better care of myself. I need to try to get rid of this fucking lisp. I need to stop being such an annoying attention-whore. I need to stop looking for others for help like I deserve it or like they owe it to me. Even now, part of me is probably thinking that I should write this just to get pity. But I'd rather think that I'm writing this to get it out there, so that I might be motivated to actually make a change or two. I look at my friends and all the other people around me, and they're all moving on with life. They're all growing as people, constantly changing. I'm just stuck because I refuse to accept the fact that I can change. Hopefully, I'll start trying to live a better life soon.
I'm definitely going to have to get the surgery this summer... which bites horribly. My summer will consist of summer school for one semester's worth, then recovering from surgery. Fun fun. My friend that had the same surgery said that he didn't move off his couch (except for basic bodily functions and other exceptions like that) for a MONTH. I, luckily, am a very good healer... but I fear how big the cyst inside me will be. I'm hoping to be mobile alot sooner than that, but we'll see.
I need to START on my Art Appreciation online course. Yes, START. See above about me being a fuckup.
I decided to probably try for the website bonelessthursdays.com, do y'all like that idea? It seems most people find it real catchy and like it. Don't forget, my new SN is BonelessThursday (singular).
Adios for now, thanks if you actually read all of that.