tonight my parents took me out to the jazz kitchen for my twenty-first birthday and bought me some wine. we were up on a balcony where we could hear some music coming from the plaza below, or maybe it was from the house of blues, but i'm thinking it was the latin group playing out there with their big sound system and little acoustic nylon string ( Read more... )

it's so frustrating trying to close the gap between who i am in my head and who i am in the physical world. speech class for instance: i get nervous just walking towards the building, and i feel relieved when we don't have to get up and speak. but it's all so silly. there is really nothing to be afraid of. they are only people. and in my head i've ( Read more... )

start a revolution. write your own mythology. sing in the shower. call your friends. ride a bike. read a book. do kartwheels and handstands when you walk out the door. talk to strangers. talk to kids. try to learn something from everyone you meet. watch the sunrise. watch the sunset. lay on the ground and look at the stars. rub the sleep from out ( Read more... )

"i've been laying on the floor arms outstreched staring at the ceiling and sitting cross legged pretending i know meditation staring at the phone trying to work up the courage to call you back because i'm nervous as hell right now and i'm not really sure why"

real smooth matt.

the top of my head is tingling like it did when i heard fading alysium play in that tiny church with nobody in it, but the way they were playing we might as well have been on top a mountain in the middle of the night underneath a billion stars, open up yer skull and let the sky fall inside. something big is happening folks.

five in the morning and i'm binge eating grahm crackers when i ought to be sleeping. tonight was wild, "an evening of epic proportions." amara, erin, and i drove out to some beach in ventura to climb out on a jetty until giant waves forced back onto dry land for fear of falling over into the deep blue sea. back upon the shorline we sat in a house ( Read more... )

the canvas is blank
are you willing to paint?
are you willing to paint?
the first mark you make
will be a mistake
will be a mistake
but don't be afraid
of the risk you will take
of the risk you will take
how long will you wait?
darlin' don't be afraid
darlin' don't be afriad

paul hawthorne. he had three metal fingerpicks on his right hand, plucking away at a banjo resting comfortably on his crossed legs. i pulled up a chair to listen and learn while josh silently stood by side. chattanooga chattanooga chattanooga went the rhythm of his song, a lively tune like a smalltown dance in the backwater woods of america. "so ( Read more... )

his name is michael and he is homeless. we met at an in-n-out in fullerton following the monthly underground lounge concert extravaganza of which i am the resident sound man. tonight was full of feedback, malfunctioning equipment, and a basketball practice in the room overhead that sounded like a thunderstorm or bombing of some sort, right in the ( Read more... )

so classes started tuesday at long beach city college and cypress college. and in my quest to take as many units as physically and mentally possible, i'm enrolled at both schools. it's nice being able to walk through a hole in the wall of bushes out back of our apartment to get to cypress, and today i found the duck pond on campus. and there were ( Read more... )