you tend to lock yourself away in your apartment and go into hiding, you should call people more often asking them if they want to do something, thats what i try to do. when you stop going out of your way to show people you want to hang out, they get the idea you dont want to hang out. thats how i see it.
i've said this 100 times and i'm about to make it 101. see a therapist. i know it sounds horrible and maybe you feel like it's giving up but it's not. i think that in this situation...with this paticular group of friends and with these paticular problems, you really need someone who isn't in the middle of it to talk to. someone who has no idea who i am or who katie is or who rachel is etc. go and talk about how awful we are...then talk about how wonderful we are. just talking about it to someone who really wants to listen will help more than you can imagine
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mary beth beat me to it. therapy, baby. you can't leave a group for weeks and then come back and expect everything to be hunky dory again. work at it, ok? let people know that you're thinking of them. that you miss them. take some blame. be a man about it and apologize. and don't say "i'm sorry for whatever i did even though i didn't know i did it." say "i'm sorry for hurting you." and genuinely mean it. if it's not genuine, don't say it. don't give up. you've come so far... don't stop here. not now. it's important to do what's best for yourself but you really really reeealllly have to keep other people in mind, too. don't inconvenience anyone for your happiness. don't sacrifice others' happiness for your own. and don't rely on being with me to be happy. maybe that's why we need this break.. you know? i love you to death and am always here for you but i can't be all you have. look around you and remember the good times. like yesterday. all your adventures. have more adventures. be confident in yourself even when you think the world's
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erica! wonderful. we so don't know each others' stories. when john's with me he makes me feel like i'm all he has. that's not my fault. i never wanted to break ya'll's friendship up and i'm really glad that you and he haven't fallen out completely. he needs you a lot right now. and i'm glad you're being there for him. but you know, i'm here for him too. and so are other people. you're not the only one who cares for him, ok? plz don't h8. heh.
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you can't leave a group for weeks and then come back and expect everything to be hunky dory again. work at it, ok? let people know that you're thinking of them. that you miss them. take some blame. be a man about it and apologize. and don't say "i'm sorry for whatever i did even though i didn't know i did it." say "i'm sorry for hurting you." and genuinely mean it. if it's not genuine, don't say it. don't give up. you've come so far... don't stop here. not now. it's important to do what's best for yourself but you really really reeealllly have to keep other people in mind, too. don't inconvenience anyone for your happiness. don't sacrifice others' happiness for your own. and don't rely on being with me to be happy. maybe that's why we need this break.. you know? i love you to death and am always here for you but i can't be all you have. look around you and remember the good times. like yesterday. all your adventures. have more adventures. be confident in yourself even when you think the world's ( ... )
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Erica
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and that means our friendship was a sham for however long.
that means you meant more to me than i did to you.
it's not ok, and i won't pretend that it is.
i can't hug you like i did before, because the sentiment wasn't real.
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