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Briefly, Belatedly, Brusquely: Being Bothered By Blue Bears
Dear Discovery-Health: I DO NOT NOW, NOR WILL I EVER, GIVE A FLYING FISTFUL OF LEMUR SPUNK ABOUT GODDAMN BABIES. All you goddamn show anymore is fucking babies! Bitches giving birth! Babies fighting to live! Babies being hideous wrinkly purple bologna loafs! People with way too goddamn many children! Women using everything but painkillers and ( Read more... ) -
Anon: Another Anecdotal Annihilation
Thanks to cheshcan I have another fucking meme to fill out: List ten fictional characters you wouldn't kick out of bed (in no particular order). Apparently I should tag five people to also inflict this awfulness on. I'll figure out who I'm tagging when I get to the end, I guess ( Read more... ) -
Amazing Allspice Acrobatics And An Altogether Awful Auspice
Rather than running out of them, the goddamn things seem to be getting longer ( Read more... ) -
Wasting A Waltzing Walk-On Worth Wanking On
I'm back in Ohio. *waves a tiny flag* The next time I decide to spend two months with my family for any reason, you have my permission to mock me. Most of you. (Some of you will still have the privilege of Shutting The Fuck Up.) I want to thank Ass Thackbs, Bowlerless Bowler Clown, and Juxtapose'em! for the most daring rescue of all time. After an ( Read more... ) -
Swing the Sizzling Swizzle Stick
Merry Christmas, droogs! Also, Chappy Chanukah, Zesty Kwanzaa (Habari Gani, brothers!), a Blessed Yule (gg droods!) and a well-thought-out Presents And Tree Day. Also, to anyone who celebrates that fucking made-up holiday from Seinfeld, I don't like you as much as you might think I do, so don't be surprised if I steal your car and sell it to a ( Read more... ) -
Analog Replication of the Digital Society
I believe GLaDOS said it best when she sang in that adorably off-kilter evil computer voice:
I'M STILL ALIVE.Despite snow, icestorms, homicidal semi-trucks, repeated and somewhat unnecessary holiday roadtrips, power outages, 56k dialup internet, Windows Me, the Blood War Between My Mother And Sibling, the rage at having Christmas tunelessly ( Read more... ) -
A lantern archon is on the television trying to sell me a Discover card.
If the title of this entry made sense to you without consulting the internet, you are both a gamer and someone who watches too much television. Currently I am a gamer who watches too much television, and it is not a happy place to be. I do not enjoy it. At all ( Read more... ) -
If you ever wake feeling seriously sexually aroused and find yourself wondering why...
... especially since you clearly remember that the dream that you just woke up from included No Sexy Ladies, but in fact did contain several million creatures which could be best described as "very large dogs but with the pseudonatural and undead templates" who were chasing you through the streets of a city built entirely out of human remains and ( Read more... )