Trustworthy *chapter nine*
Pairing: HimDae
Rated: PG13
Length: 6.7K
Himchan was frozen on the other line, making Daehyun think he had hung up.
“Don’t go.” He finally murmured. “Stay? Please?”
“W-What do you mean?” Daehyun gulped and felt his heart pound wildly in his chest.
Himchan sighed. “I just don’t want you to go, Daehyun. And I don’t know why.”
Surprising the both of them by growling low in his throat, Daehyun finally snapped. “What do you want from me, hyung?” He demanded, bumping his head on the shelf in the closet when he jumped up. “Why do you keep saying these kind of things? Just tell me what you want and stop confusing me!” He shook his head and threw open his closet door. “No, you know what, just forget it. I’m going to be gone by next weekend and it doesn’t even matter.” His fingers gripped tightly around the phone case. “Please just leave me alone, hyung.”
“Daehyun?” His mother knocked on the door. “Junhong is done eating and is ready to go to the park now.”
“Goodbye hyung.” He said, already pulling the phone away from his ear.
The boy on the other end quickly interjected, begging him not to hang up, but it was too late. Daehyun pressed his face into the door and whimpered. He hated this. He just wanted to get away and forget everything. As soon as they got to Busan, he knew all of his problems would disappear. They had to. Life couldn’t be so cruel as to make him miserable in both places.
Right?
---
“Did you have fun at the park?” Yongguk asked, an amused grin on his face as he reached over to wipe a smudge of frosting off of Junhong’s cheek.
The little boy grinned and excitedly pulled his pants up to show his brother the scratches on his knees. “I fell off the swing! And look! I have scratches just like you do!”
The elder boy paled at the casual words. His scratches didn’t come from playing and having fun, but he didn’t want his brother to know that.
“I see that.” He said gruffly. “I bet you think you’re a man now, huh?”
Junhong nodded and puffed his tiny chest out. “Of course I am.” He boasted. His eyes widened suddenly. “Cupcakes!” He screamed shrilly, turning to Rae-Ha with outstretched arms.
“He asked if we could buy you a couple of cupcakes, too.” She explained, pulling the container out of the bag. “Here you go, sweetie. Don’t squeeze them.”
He shyly held them out to his brother. “I decorated them myself.”
Yongguk pulled out the sloppily frosted cupcakes with the blue and red icing clumped up on the sides of the wrappers. ‘Hyung’ was spelled out messily on the red one and a heart was drawn on the blue one.
The other boy rubbed his hand shakily over his eyes, trying to put a smile on his face for his younger brother.
“I love them, Junhonggie.” He whispered shakily, pulling them to his chest. “Hyung will eat them heartily and think of you.”
Rae-Ha could see he was embarrassed of his reaction, so she pulled the two younger boys away before they said anything. “I think it’s time we left Yongguk to his work so that he doesn’t get into trouble. Say goodbye Junhong and we’ll head home.”
The curly headed boy waved happily at his brother before skipping along behind Daehyun out of the station. Rae-Ha turned towards the teary-eyed youth with a gentle smile. “He’s fine, Yongguk. We’re taking very good care of him.”
He nodded and mumbled thanks, his eyes still stuck on the sweets in his hands. “He deserves more than me, doesn’t he.” He stated quietly. “I don’t deserve him.”
She frowned and crossed her arms. “You both deserve more than this.” She said firmly. “You just don’t see it.” After glancing out the window to make sure both boys were sitting on the bench outside the store waiting patiently, she sighed and turned back towards him. “Yongguk, I would take Junhong to Busan with us in a heartbeat. You too. But for some reason I think you would refuse to go, thinking you were a burden.” He opened his mouth but she lifted a finger to stop him. “And that’s not true. You saved my son even though you had no reason to stop and help and for that reason alone there will always be a place in my home for you.”
Yongguk rubbed his shoulder, feeling the bumps and notches in his skin where scars had formed. He knew he didn’t deserve a loving home like the one Daehyun had. His own mother didn’t even want him. The only thing he had was Junhong, but even he couldn’t give him everything he needed in a family.
“Just remember that, alright?” She told him earnestly, wanting her words to be remembered.
He gave a quick nod, turning his attention back to his work. He placed the cupcakes gently on the shelf under the cash register, smiling happily at the sight of them. They would be saved for when he got off of work tonight. Eaten in the comfort of his own home, surrounded by Junhong’s toys and drawings.
Rae-Ha exited the station and grinned brightly at the two boys playing with each other on the bench. Daehyun was teasing the younger boy about falling at the park with Junhong slapping his hands away every time they got near his face.
“Poke!” Daehyun laughed, sticking his finger in the deep dimple that came out when Junhong was really happy or really mad. “What’s the matter with the clumsy baby? Does he not like to be poked?”
Junhong growled and bared his teeth at him. “I’m going to bite you, Daehyun-hyung!”
“Alright, alright.” Rae-Ha laughed. “No biting and no poking!” She said, grabbing the still pouting boy by the hand and leading them towards the car. “Let’s go home and watch a movie.”
Cheering, Junhong picked up his pace, attempting to drag her faster to the car.
Yongguk watched their actions from inside the station, an uneasy feeling starting to fill up the pit of his stomach.
---
“We leave in two days, Daehyun.” His mother informed him later that week. She stood in his doorway; arms crossed her chest as she watched him lie listlessly on his bed. “Don’t you think that maybe you should make up with Jongup before we leave? You’ve been sitting here all week just doing nothing all day.”
He shrugged a bony shoulder at her, eyes still trained on a spider moving across his ceiling. “Don’t wanna.” He said stubbornly.
She sighed and rubbed her eyes. This kid was going to give her gray hairs. “Well can you at least try? For his sake? He’s been your best friend since you were eight years old, I think he deserves to not be heart-broken because of you.”
Daehyun sat up and glared at her. “I tried to be nice to him and he told me he wanted to go home!”
Rae-Ha kept repeating to herself that her son was only thirteen and that he wasn’t mature enough yet to understand the severity of his actions. But the frantic phone calls every night from Mi-Ra begging her to get Daehyun to come by was starting to frazzle her nerves.
“Honey, Jongup was just upset.” She tried to explain, sitting beside him on the bed. “His best friend just told him that he was moving away and never wanted to come back. Can you blame him for falling apart?”
He pursed his lips at her. “He was only my friend because he felt sorry for me.” His eyes dimmed and he turned his head away. “Jongup’s family only pitied us, mom. I’m not stupid.”
“Of course they pity us.” She finally snapped, losing all patience with him. “We barely survive week to week and you would spend all your time alone in the apartment. They cared about you because Jongup cared and you became a part of their family!” She grabbed his cheeks in her hands and forced him to turn towards her. “And look at our relationship with Yongguk and Junhong. It’s the exact same thing, Daehyun. They live paycheck to paycheck. Junhong has no one else in the world. Are you only his friend because you pity him?”
He shook his head, cheeks squishing in her hold. “I like them because they’re nice to me.” He admitted.
“But do you pity them?”
His mouth fell open as he thought about her words. “Yes.” He admitted. “I feel sorry for them.”
“Does it affect your feelings towards them any?” She asked softly, seeing her son finally come to his senses. “Does it matter how much money they have or where they live or their circumstances? Would you not be friends with them if their lives were different?”
Daehyun stared at her for a moment, the light finally dawning in his wide eyes. “Can you drive me to Jongup’s?”
She threw her head back and groaned. “It’s about time!”
---
Daehyun jumped out of the car and raced towards the home before his mother had even put it in park. He pounded harshly on the door until Mi-Ra opened it with a startled expression.
“Daehyun? What’s wrong?”
He rudely pushed past her, running to Jongup’s room and finally stopping in his doorway, chest heaving and eyes watering. “Jonguppie?” He choked out, seeing his best friend lying in the exact same position he had been in previously.
The other boy jumped up off the bed and eyed him warily. “What are you doing here?” His voice was timid, almost as if he was afraid of him.
Daehyun took a step towards him and hung his head. “I’m sorry.” He whispered. “I’m so sorry.”
That was all the explanation Jongup needed to erupt in a bright smile, pulling the smaller boy into his arms and burying his face in his hair. “It’s alright, Daehyunnie.” He told him, grinning happily. “We’ll always be best friends even if you get mad at me.”
Their mothers watched from the doorway as the two boys finally made up. Mi-Ra quietly pulled the door closed so that they would have some privacy.
She offered Rae-Ha a glass of water while they waited in the kitchen.
“What finally made him come around?”
Rae-Ha rolled her eyes. “I had to compare his relationship with Jongup to how he views Junhong and Yongguk. Even if he feels sorry for them, they’re still his friends.”
Mi-Ra frowned. “How do you think those two boys will manage when you leave?” She asked, her nightly phone calls having consisted of more talk than just Jongup and Daehyun. “That little one sounds pretty attached to you.”
A smile graced the other woman’s lips at the thought of her little Junhong. He had spent only one evening with them since their weekend together and she knew she only had one more visit with him before they left for good.
“Junhong is going to be missed very much. But as much as I would love to keep him with us, he belongs with his brother. They would be lost without each other.”
“The older boy still doesn’t want to leave?”
Rae-Ha shook her head. “I mentioned it again when he picked Junhong up Sunday night, but he’s pretty insistent that they can take care of themselves. But I told him the offer is on the table if he wants to take it up.” She looked back towards the bedrooms. “How is Himchan doing? Is he healing any?”
Groaning, Mi-Ra hung her head in her hands. “That boy.” She growled. “I will kill him myself if he doesn’t stop acting like a four year old. His father gave him a bell.” Her eyes flashed heatedly at her friend. “A bell. Do you know how many times a day I hear that tinkling sound? I even hear it in my sleep!”
Chuckling, Rae-Ha patted her hand. “I’m sure it’ll get better s-“
As if he could hear himself being talked about, a loud ringing sound came from Himchan’s bedroom.
When Mi-Ra’s eyes twitched and her gaze landed on the butcher’s block on the counter, Rae-Ha jumped up and volunteered to check on him for her.
“Himchan?” She asked, knocking gently on the closed door. When she opened it, she wrinkled her nose at the sour smell coming from his bedroom. She questioned when the last time he had a proper bath was and was that milk dried into the carpet? “Honey, it’s Rae-Ha. May I come in?”
A messy head of hair emerged from the blanket. “What?” He coughed and tried to pull himself to a sitting position. “Daehyun’s here?”
She nodded, helping him untangle his broken hand from the sheet. “He’s in Jongup’s room. They are making up.”
He breathed a deep sigh of relief and hung his head. “Good.” He mumbled. “I’m glad.”
“Did you want something? You rang your bell.”
“My hand hurts.” He whined, leaning his head on her shoulder. “My mom told me I can’t have any more pain medicine.” His wide eyes looked up at hers as he popped his bottom lip out. “Can you ask her to give me some?”
Laughing at his pathetic display of aegyo, she apologized and patted his leg. “Sorry sweetie. But mom’s rules are not to be broken.”
“C-Can I see Daehyun then?” His voice cracked and he coughed to cover it up. “When he’s finished talking to Jongup?”
“Of course.” She reassured him. “But… Maybe you should go take a shower first and clean up a little.”
Himchan’s cheeks flushed pink as he looked around his room in embarrassment. The entire week had consisted of lying in his bed and complaining about everything while forcing his mother to wait on him hand and foot. Now that someone else was viewing his filth, he was a little ashamed.
“O-Okay.” He nodded, standing up on shaky feet that had barely left his room for a whole week.
When they emerged from his bedroom, Mi-Ra jumped up in shock. “Himchan!” She gasped, grabbing him by the elbow. “How did you convince him to get out of bed?”
Rae-Ha helped him into the bathroom, turning the shower nozzle on to warm the room up. “I told him that after he got cleaned up then he could speak to Daehyun.”
Sly eyes slid over to her son as Mi-Ra shot him a wink. “Of course that got him up.” She said knowingly.
He shot her a panicked glare, begging her silently to shut up. Laughing, she shoved a towel in his face as they left him alone in the bathroom. “You just make yourself look all pretty for Daehyunnie, okay?”
At his strangled yelp of protest, Mi-Ra shut the door behind her and led a confused Rae-Ha back into the kitchen.
“What was that all about?”
Mi-Ra laughed and shook her head. “Oh it’s nothing.” She said, waving it off. “Let’s just say that Himchan is very fond of your son.” Her eyebrows waggled. “Very, very fond of him.”
“Oh… OH!” Rae-Ha slapped a hand over her mouth and tried to hold back her laughter. “You mean?”
Shrugging, the other woman took a drink from her mug. “Pretty sure, yes.”
“Well…” Rae-Ha blinked a few times. “That’s… New?”
They stared awkwardly at each other for a moment before simultaneously bursting out into giggles.
“No wonder Daehyun’s been so uncomfortable lately when I mention Himchan’s name.” Rae-Ha mused. “I was wondering what’s been going on between them.” Mi-Ra’s smirk had her sitting up straight in her seat. “Is there more going on between them?” She hissed.
Mi-Ra blew her a kiss. “Once.”
“My baby!” Rae-Ha threw her hands down on the table and plopped her head on them. “He’s becoming a man!”
The two women tried to stifle their laughter when Himchan emerged from the bathroom, hair dripping all over the floor as he eyed them suspiciously.
“What are you two laughing about?” He asked, tugging the towel up higher on his stomach.
Before they could answer, Jongup’s door banged open and he rushed out, gripping tightly onto Daehyun’s hand. They bumped into Himchan on the way, the smaller boy muttering a sorry as his eyes lifted up to his. They widened when falling upon his attire, or lack thereof. But Jongup was refusing to stop, dragging him into the kitchen where their mothers sat.
Daehyun hurriedly looked away, not wanting his eyes to fall on the wet, half-naked boy in the hall. He was thirteen, not five; he knew what that flash of heat that went through his body meant. It was something he had never felt before, but he and Jongup had watched enough movies for him to know what it would lead to and that was a new and uncomfortable experience that he did not want to happen in front of their mothers.
He nervously tugged his shirt down farther, keeping his gaze on the ground, hoping no one noticed.
Jongup had stopped at the table and was excitedly telling the women that they were going to have a sleepover for the last two nights together and that Jongup was going to go spend winter break in Busan with Daehyun since Junhong was getting to go and that they were best friends again finally.
“Daehyun-ah?” Himchan’s deep voice shook with nervousness as he took a step into the kitchen.
Mi-Ra stood up and headed towards him. “Son, why don’t you go get changed. You’re dripping all over my floor. If Daehyun is spending the night then you will have time to talk to him later.”
Shoulders slumping, the teenager nodded and gave him one last pitiful glance before heading back to his bedroom and shutting the door behind him.
“Well, if you’re staying here tonight then I can finish packing tomorrow without you in the way. Jongup you can spend tomorrow night with us since it’s the last night there. Junhong is staying, too. We’ll drop you off as we leave, okay?” Rae-Ha took one last drink of her water and stood up, ruffling Daehyun’s hair. “Have a good time, baby.”
“Let’s go and play our game!” Jongup said happily. “I played it a couple times while you were gone, but it wasn’t as much fun.” The smile slipped off his face a little as he remembered their week apart. “But everything’s okay now so we can play together again!”
---
A knock at the door interrupted them right in the middle of a difficult level.
“Boys?” Mi-Ra stuck her head in. “I fixed some supper if you’re hungry.”
Jongup howled when his character was killed fighting an enemy. “Not right now mom! We’ve been playing this level for an hour!”
Daehyun pouted and shot her a helpless look. She chuckled at him, knowing he would rather eat than play video games.
“Ten more minutes.” She said sternly. “Then you have to come eat.”
Himchan sat at the table, tapping his fingers on the wood. “I don’t really feel like eating tonight. Can I just go back to bed?”
His mother frowned at him. “Why? Are you sick?”
He shook his head and pulled away from her hands. “No. I’m just… Why won’t he talk to me?” He asked angrily. “I ask politely and he ignores me and I even called him and he just hung up on me! I’ve been waiting all afternoon for him and he’s still in there playing those stupid games!”
“What exactly do you want to tell him, Himchan?” She tried to keep him quiet so that the two boys wouldn’t overhear. “Maybe he’s confused and doesn’t want to listen right now. You have to remember he’s a couple years younger than you and he’s going through a really big rough patch.”
Himchan took a deep breath. “I don’t know what I want to say.” He admitted. “But there’s something I’m supposed to be saying and I don’t know what it is. How many times do I have to apologize before I feel like it’s enough?”
Mi-Ra thought about his words for a moment before answering. “Himchan, have you felt this way about Daehyun for a long time?” She asked slowly. “Or did it just happen when you saw him being bullied?”
His jaw ticked as he stared at the table in front of him. He thought back to the all years Daehyun had been a part of their family, how he’s watched him grow up, how he loved to tease him and make that blush erupt across his tanned cheeks.
“A while.” He finally answered.
The bedroom door burst open and the two younger boys came running out and falling into their chairs.
“Hey hyung, Daehyun is back! Isn’t that great!” Jongup said, grinning brightly at him.
Himchan just nodded, eyes catching momentarily with Daehyun’s, before they both looked away uncomfortably.
Raising her eyebrows, Mi-Ra watched Daehyun nervously bite his lip, eyes sliding back over to Himchan when he wasn’t looking. She swallowed a smile at their cuteness before serving the food to everyone so they could eat.
“Are you looking forward to seeing Busan again?” She asked Daehyun, trying to distract him from his awkwardness.
He nodded slowly, taking a peek at Jongup to gauge his reaction. “I’m happy to see my grandpa more often.” He answered quietly. “We only see him on holidays.”
“Did you live with him while you were growing up?”
“No.” He told her, grabbing another spoonful of soup. “My mom tried to keep us in the house my dad bought until she lost her job and we moved here.”
Daehyun didn’t like to speak of his father, so she didn’t ask any more questions. He had died when his son was in his first year of school from a car accident and the subject had always been off-limits for him.
“Your mother told me that she’s buying you a cell phone when you get settled in. That must be exciting.”
He shrugged. “It’s not like I have a whole lot of friends to talk to. Just Jonguppie and Junhong.”
Wanting to mess with her son a little, Mi-Ra smiled at him. “And you have Junhong’s older brother. Rae-Ha told me that you two have gotten very close.”
Reaching its designated target, Himchan’s head popped up off the table and his eyes narrowed in onto Daehyun’s uncomfortable ones.
“Y-Yes.” He stuttered, twirling his food around with his spoon. “Yongguk-hyung is very nice to me. I like him a lot. But he works so much that I don’t think I would be able to talk to him very much. Just Junhong.”
“Well if you want more people to talk to, you can always give Himchan your phone number.” She volunteered, clearing her shocked son’s plate away. “He has his own phone so you could text him anytime you wanted.”
Daehyun’s face turned red from the tips of his ears and all the way across his cheeks. “Um… M-Maybe, yeah.”
Mi-Ra shot Himchan a thumb’s up, ignoring his hateful glare as he stomped off to his room in embarrassment.
“What’s wrong with him?” Jongup asked around a mouthful of meat. “He in a bad mood?”
“When is he not?” She sighed, ruffling his hair.
---
Jongup happily filled his suitcase with a change of clothes and his pajamas as he chattered on to Daehyun about how excited he was to see Junhong again.
“I had a lot of fun playing with him last week.” He explained, packing up a few action figures of his own to take. “He seems like a sweet kid.”
Daehyun smiled from where he sat on the bed. “He is. My mom really loves him. I like his brother a lot, too. He’s really calming.”
At the mention of Yongguk, the other boy stiffened and refused to turn around. “Yeah. That’s nice.” He mumbled, distractedly.
“Daehyun?” Mi-Ra knocked on the door. “Your mother is here to pick you two up. She said to hurry because Junhong has already called her three times wanting to know where she was.”
They ran out, both trying to hold Jongup’s stuffed full case together, with Daehyun teasing him that he was as prissy as his brother.
Neither of them noticed the elder boy sitting on the couch with a frown on his face as they hollered their goodbyes to Jongup’s mother.
Mi-Ra turned towards Himchan after she had shut the door and crossed her arms. “Alright, I think it’s time you and I had a long talk.”
---
Junhong pouted and threw himself in front of the door. “No.” He growled. “I don’t want you to put your boxes in the truck!”
Rae-Ha sighed and grabbed his feet, pulling him away. “Junhong, don’t be rude. Your brother is waiting.” She opened the door and smiled tiredly at the boy standing in the hall. “Hello Yongguk. Thank you for coming to help.”
He grinned and gave her a short bow as he entered the home. “Well you have kept the kid a lot lately. The least I can do is help carry boxes out to the trailer.” He rolled up his sleeves and bent over to pick up a couple near the door. “Do you want me to just start stacking them up?”
She nodded and rubbed a smudge of dirt off her cheek. “If you don’t mind. The boys are still in Daehyun’s room trying to finish up so I’ll have them helping you in a minute.”
“Junhong, why don’t you go tell the boys that Yongguk is here so they need to hurry.”
The little boy ran off screaming her message at the top of his lungs instead of telling them in person like she wanted. She yawned and looked around the apartment tiredly. The furniture all came with the apartment so she wouldn’t have to worry about packing any of it up.
Inside the bedroom, Jongup froze as he was taping up a box of Daehyun’s shoes. “Junhong’s brother is here?”
Daehyun shrugged. “Mom asked him to come over and help carry out the boxes to the trailer.”
The bigger boy frowned. “How much do you really know about that guy anyways? He could be a crook for all you know.”
The image of the two scary men cornering them in the alley popped into Daehyun’s head and he shivered. But then he remembered how Yongguk had forced Daehyun behind his body, shielding him, and he knew Jongup’s words would never be fully true.
“Yongguk-hyung is my friend.” He said softly. “I trust him, so please don’t say anything bad about him.”
Jongup narrowed his eyes, wanting to argue, but the look in Daehyun’s glare stopped him. For whatever reason, his friend really liked that boy. Even if Jongup didn’t think it was wise.
“Hyung!” Junhong’s eyes peered around the door frame. “Are you ready yet? Mom said I can help carry out boxes, too!” His skinny body jumped into the room. “She said I have big muscles just like Yongguk-hyung!” He flexed his arms and preened for them.
Trying to hold back snorts of laughter, the two boys nodded seriously at him.
“Oh yeah, Junhong-ah.” Jongup felt his bicep and whistled. “I think you could beat me up if you really tried.”
That earned him a proud smile as Junhong puffed his chest out and headed towards the door. He passed by his brother and jumped at him, making Yongguk gasp and cover his mouth in mock horror.
“Junhonggie!” He pleaded, quivering against the wall. “Please don’t hurt me! You’re so strong and scary!”
Junhong laughed and jumped on top of his brother’s back. “My feet hurt, hyung. Carry me and maybe I’ll let you live.”
Yongguk rolled his eyes and grabbed another large box off the table. “You are a brat.” He teased, heading off down the hall with the smaller boy curled around him like a monkey.
“See?” Daehyun turned to Jongup. “Hyung is amazing.”
Grimacing, Jongup ignored his friend. “Let’s start getting your room cleared out.” He grabbed the box he had been taping and hefted it up.
“Wait!” Daehyun grabbed a few of them and shoved them off to the side. “Not these, okay? These stay out.”
Used to his friend’s weird quirks, Jongup agreed without question and headed towards the door.
By the time they had the entire apartment empty, it was verging on lunchtime so Rae-Ha offered to take them all out to eat before sending them home.
Daehyun’s favorite restaurant was a short walk away from their apartment and he wanted to eat at it one last time before leaving.
Junhong insisted on sitting in between Daehyun and his mother, forcing the other two boys to sit uncomfortably next to each other on the opposite side.
They ate tiredly, the only sound was the clinking of their chopsticks on the bowls. Even the youngest boy was exhausted from their morning of cleaning and packing.
By the time the meal was over he was half asleep, his face precariously close to falling into his soup. Yongguk grabbed his brother, the little boy curling his face into his neck and mumbling a quiet apology for being so sleepy.
“Don’t be sorry, Junhonggie.” He murmured, patting his back gently. “Hyung doesn’t mind carrying you.”
“Well let’s go back and do one final sweep of the apartment before we leave. Make sure we didn’t miss anything.” Rae-Ha said, throwing her napkin on the table. “We won’t be able to come home if we forgot something.”
Daehyun remembered the boxes he had set aside and grinned. He skipped forward, dragging Jongup by the hand. “I have a surprise for Junhong!” He whispered as they entered the apartment ahead of everyone else. “Help me carry it out to the car?”
They shoved them into the trunk of the car and waited for the others to join them. Even though he knew that he would never see his apartment again, Daehyun wasn’t as sad as he thought he’d be. The excitement of seeing his grandpa soon and being home in Busan was finally starting to hit him.
Junhong woke up long enough to call dibs on the front seat, jumping out of his brothers arms and grinning innocently up at him from the car.
Daehyun slid into the backseat, scooting over to the window and leaving the last two boys on the sidewalk. They eyed each other, Yongguk scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.
“You scoot next to Daehyun and I take the window and we try not to touch each other?” He finally suggested.
“Deal.” Jongup hopped into the car, practically sitting on his shocked friends lap. “I’m going to miss you so much, Daehyunnie!” He cooed, using the excuse that he just wanted a few last minutes of closeness with him.
Shrugging it off, Daehyun smiled happily at him, laying his head on Jongup’s shoulder until they got to the brother’s apartment building.
Junhong clenched onto the seat tightly and refused to let go. “It’s not fair.” He mumbled, tears dripping over his cheeks. “I don’t want you to go.” His chin quivered, but he tried his hardest to stifle down the sob that was choking him.
Rae-Ha’s lips turned down as she watched the little boy beside her do everything possible to stay strong. “I know it’s not fair, baby.” She murmured, swiping his soft cheeks with her thumb. “But this isn’t goodbye, I promise. It’s just a few more weeks till break and you are going to have so much fun staying with us.”
Watching his brother say goodbye to yet another mother broke Yongguk’s heart. But at least this one didn’t leave in the middle of the night without even saying a word. And she wasn’t leaving forever.
“Come on, Junhonggie.” Yongguk told him gruffly, patting his head over the seat. “They have a long drive ahead of them and they still need to take Jongup home.”
Nodding, Junhong quickly wrapped his skinny arms around Rae-Ha’s middle and buried his face into her neck. “Goodbye mom.” He mumbled. Pulling away, he gave Daehyun a forced grin. “Bye Daehyun-hyung. I will be looking forward to seeing you on break.”
Daehyun smiled back as he gave him a sad wave, watching as Yongguk had to practically pull him out of the car. “Oh!” His eyes widened and he jumped out. “Mom, open the trunk!”
When she popped it open, he excitedly pulled out the boxes and stacked them onto the ground in front of a confused Junhong. “What are these for, hyung?”
Motioning him forward, Daehyun peeled the tape back and let him look inside the top one. “This box is full of Lego’s and the other ones have some toys and books and things that I don’t use anymore.” He swallowed nervously, worried Yongguk would get angry and say they didn’t need charity. “My room at our new home won’t hold a lot of stuff so I thought you would enjoy them more than me.”
Junhong’s eyes lit up as he looked anxiously up at his older brother. “Can I keep them, hyung? Please, can I keep them?”
Swallowing thickly, Yongguk merely nodded, giving the smaller boy all the motivation he needed to jump into his friends arms and squeeze him tightly. “Thank you, hyung.” He whispered breathlessly into his ear. “I will never ever forget this.”
Yongguk’s hand rested gently on Daehyun’s shoulder as Junhong squealed and grabbed the top box, lugging it towards the door. He was so happy to have new Lego’s that he didn’t even stop to wave goodbye as he left.
“You’re a good kid, Daehyun.” A deep voice told him softly. “A real good kid.”
“I’m only four years younger than you, hyung!” He teased him back. “You can’t call me a kid for very much longer!”
His face blanching, the elder boy’s eyes darted to the car where Jongup was leaning out the window listening to their conversation. When the small, dark eyes met his, he quickly jerked his gaze away. “No.” He muttered, smiling weakly at Daehyun. “I guess you’re right.”
“Take good care of your mom.” Yongguk ordered him. “You got damn lucky with her and you should appreciate it.”
Rae-Ha snapped her fingers at him. “No foul language young man. Now get upstairs and keep an eye on my sweetheart.”
He nodded and waved goodbye to them as they drove off. His lips were curled up, but it didn’t reach his eyes.
It was almost as if he knew the next time they met wouldn’t be a happy occasion.
---
Jongup gripped him so tightly around the waist that Daehyun finally had to gasp out for him to let go.
“Geez, I still have bruises there!” He joked, rubbing his ribcage. “Oh no.” He watched horrified as his best friend’s face started to crumple, his eyes filling with tears. “You’re not going to cry, are you?”
Mi-Ra saw the impending tantrum her normally happy go lucky son was about to throw and quickly ushered him into his room to calm down. “You can come out before they leave and say goodbye. Go ahead and let it all out in there.”
She turned to Daehyun with a sad smile. “Come here, Daehyunnie.” She whispered, holding her arms out to the boy who as close to her as her own children were. “We are going to miss you so much.” She murmured against his hair. “Don’t forget about us, okay?”
He sniffed and shook his head. “I love you.”
“I love you so much, baby.” She replied, pulling away and wiping his tears with her thumbs. “Now, I think there’s someone else that has been anxious to tell you goodbye, too.”
When she raised an eyebrow and motioned towards the other bedroom, he gulped and started to refuse.
“Please.” She said quietly. “Please just go talk to him, Daehyun.”
He could see the plea in her eyes to fix this, whatever this was.
The knock on the door went unanswered with Mi-Ra telling him to just go ahead and go in.
The room was clean, no more dirty stench or caked in food, the sheets freshly washed. Daehyun shut the door behind him and decided to just observe the elder boy for a moment.
His profile was viewable as he curled up on the window seat, staring idly out the window with a pair of headphones lodged into his ears. Daehyun lips quirked up into a smile as he watched his lips mouth silently along to the music.
He slowly made his way towards him, casually sitting down on the other end of the seat and giggling when the shocked boy yelped and jumped backwards.
“God Daehyun!” He hissed, ripping the buds out of his ears and throwing them off to the side. “Make a noise or something next time!”
The smile slipped off of his face. “But there won’t be a next time, hyung.”
Himchan’s face paled. “You’re really leaving then?” He clenched his good hand into a fist and closed his eyes. “I kept thinking that this would end up like one of those dramas my mom loves and you would suddenly decide to stay.”
Daehyun shook his head. “I’m sorry.”
They were silent for a moment, Daehyun staring nervously out the window and the elder boy watching him closely.
“Will you miss me?” He asked seriously.
“W-What?” Daehyun turned towards him and blinked rapidly.
“When you leave.” Himchan repeated, leaning towards him, his voice nothing like the awkward and scared boy that Daehyun had been seeing lately. “Will. You. Miss. Me?” By the time he finished with the question the space between them was minimal. “Because I’ll miss you, Daehyun-ah.” A warm palm cupped his cheek, making the smaller boy uncomfortable.
“I told you to stop confusing me.” Daehyun whispered. He shook his head and jerked away, giving him a disappointed glare. “Stop doing this to me!” He turned to walk away, but a strong arm grabbed his elbow, swinging him back around.
Himchan pulled him against his chest and dropped his face into Daehyun’s soft brown hair. “I’m not trying to confuse you.” He murmured. “How can I be when you’re the one confusing me?”
Wary eyes met his as the shorter boy lifted his face. “How am I confusing you, hyung?”
Before Himchan could answer, his mouth already open to speak, a sharp rap sounded on the door. “Daehyun? We really need to be leaving or we won’t get to Busan before bedtime.”
“I have to go.” He tried to push the elder boy away, but the tight grip kept him in place.
“Not until you tell me that you’ll miss me.” Himchan said stubbornly. “And that you’ll call me or text me and you’ll come back to visit.”
Daehyun closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around the surprised boy’s shoulders. “Of course I’ll miss you, hyung.” He whispered against his chest. “And I will do those things. I promise.”
Himchan sighed a deep breath of relief and nodded. “Good. T-That’s good.”
Stepping out of his arms, Daehyun gave him one last small smile and wave as he opened the door. “Goodbye hyung.”
If Himchan had known that those would be the last words Daehyun spoke to him for three years then he wouldn’t have had that happy grin on his face as he watched him leave his room. And his life.
(ten)
Rated: PG13
Length: 6.7K
Himchan was frozen on the other line, making Daehyun think he had hung up.
“Don’t go.” He finally murmured. “Stay? Please?”
“W-What do you mean?” Daehyun gulped and felt his heart pound wildly in his chest.
Himchan sighed. “I just don’t want you to go, Daehyun. And I don’t know why.”
Surprising the both of them by growling low in his throat, Daehyun finally snapped. “What do you want from me, hyung?” He demanded, bumping his head on the shelf in the closet when he jumped up. “Why do you keep saying these kind of things? Just tell me what you want and stop confusing me!” He shook his head and threw open his closet door. “No, you know what, just forget it. I’m going to be gone by next weekend and it doesn’t even matter.” His fingers gripped tightly around the phone case. “Please just leave me alone, hyung.”
“Daehyun?” His mother knocked on the door. “Junhong is done eating and is ready to go to the park now.”
“Goodbye hyung.” He said, already pulling the phone away from his ear.
The boy on the other end quickly interjected, begging him not to hang up, but it was too late. Daehyun pressed his face into the door and whimpered. He hated this. He just wanted to get away and forget everything. As soon as they got to Busan, he knew all of his problems would disappear. They had to. Life couldn’t be so cruel as to make him miserable in both places.
Right?
---
“Did you have fun at the park?” Yongguk asked, an amused grin on his face as he reached over to wipe a smudge of frosting off of Junhong’s cheek.
The little boy grinned and excitedly pulled his pants up to show his brother the scratches on his knees. “I fell off the swing! And look! I have scratches just like you do!”
The elder boy paled at the casual words. His scratches didn’t come from playing and having fun, but he didn’t want his brother to know that.
“I see that.” He said gruffly. “I bet you think you’re a man now, huh?”
Junhong nodded and puffed his tiny chest out. “Of course I am.” He boasted. His eyes widened suddenly. “Cupcakes!” He screamed shrilly, turning to Rae-Ha with outstretched arms.
“He asked if we could buy you a couple of cupcakes, too.” She explained, pulling the container out of the bag. “Here you go, sweetie. Don’t squeeze them.”
He shyly held them out to his brother. “I decorated them myself.”
Yongguk pulled out the sloppily frosted cupcakes with the blue and red icing clumped up on the sides of the wrappers. ‘Hyung’ was spelled out messily on the red one and a heart was drawn on the blue one.
The other boy rubbed his hand shakily over his eyes, trying to put a smile on his face for his younger brother.
“I love them, Junhonggie.” He whispered shakily, pulling them to his chest. “Hyung will eat them heartily and think of you.”
Rae-Ha could see he was embarrassed of his reaction, so she pulled the two younger boys away before they said anything. “I think it’s time we left Yongguk to his work so that he doesn’t get into trouble. Say goodbye Junhong and we’ll head home.”
The curly headed boy waved happily at his brother before skipping along behind Daehyun out of the station. Rae-Ha turned towards the teary-eyed youth with a gentle smile. “He’s fine, Yongguk. We’re taking very good care of him.”
He nodded and mumbled thanks, his eyes still stuck on the sweets in his hands. “He deserves more than me, doesn’t he.” He stated quietly. “I don’t deserve him.”
She frowned and crossed her arms. “You both deserve more than this.” She said firmly. “You just don’t see it.” After glancing out the window to make sure both boys were sitting on the bench outside the store waiting patiently, she sighed and turned back towards him. “Yongguk, I would take Junhong to Busan with us in a heartbeat. You too. But for some reason I think you would refuse to go, thinking you were a burden.” He opened his mouth but she lifted a finger to stop him. “And that’s not true. You saved my son even though you had no reason to stop and help and for that reason alone there will always be a place in my home for you.”
Yongguk rubbed his shoulder, feeling the bumps and notches in his skin where scars had formed. He knew he didn’t deserve a loving home like the one Daehyun had. His own mother didn’t even want him. The only thing he had was Junhong, but even he couldn’t give him everything he needed in a family.
“Just remember that, alright?” She told him earnestly, wanting her words to be remembered.
He gave a quick nod, turning his attention back to his work. He placed the cupcakes gently on the shelf under the cash register, smiling happily at the sight of them. They would be saved for when he got off of work tonight. Eaten in the comfort of his own home, surrounded by Junhong’s toys and drawings.
Rae-Ha exited the station and grinned brightly at the two boys playing with each other on the bench. Daehyun was teasing the younger boy about falling at the park with Junhong slapping his hands away every time they got near his face.
“Poke!” Daehyun laughed, sticking his finger in the deep dimple that came out when Junhong was really happy or really mad. “What’s the matter with the clumsy baby? Does he not like to be poked?”
Junhong growled and bared his teeth at him. “I’m going to bite you, Daehyun-hyung!”
“Alright, alright.” Rae-Ha laughed. “No biting and no poking!” She said, grabbing the still pouting boy by the hand and leading them towards the car. “Let’s go home and watch a movie.”
Cheering, Junhong picked up his pace, attempting to drag her faster to the car.
Yongguk watched their actions from inside the station, an uneasy feeling starting to fill up the pit of his stomach.
---
“We leave in two days, Daehyun.” His mother informed him later that week. She stood in his doorway; arms crossed her chest as she watched him lie listlessly on his bed. “Don’t you think that maybe you should make up with Jongup before we leave? You’ve been sitting here all week just doing nothing all day.”
He shrugged a bony shoulder at her, eyes still trained on a spider moving across his ceiling. “Don’t wanna.” He said stubbornly.
She sighed and rubbed her eyes. This kid was going to give her gray hairs. “Well can you at least try? For his sake? He’s been your best friend since you were eight years old, I think he deserves to not be heart-broken because of you.”
Daehyun sat up and glared at her. “I tried to be nice to him and he told me he wanted to go home!”
Rae-Ha kept repeating to herself that her son was only thirteen and that he wasn’t mature enough yet to understand the severity of his actions. But the frantic phone calls every night from Mi-Ra begging her to get Daehyun to come by was starting to frazzle her nerves.
“Honey, Jongup was just upset.” She tried to explain, sitting beside him on the bed. “His best friend just told him that he was moving away and never wanted to come back. Can you blame him for falling apart?”
He pursed his lips at her. “He was only my friend because he felt sorry for me.” His eyes dimmed and he turned his head away. “Jongup’s family only pitied us, mom. I’m not stupid.”
“Of course they pity us.” She finally snapped, losing all patience with him. “We barely survive week to week and you would spend all your time alone in the apartment. They cared about you because Jongup cared and you became a part of their family!” She grabbed his cheeks in her hands and forced him to turn towards her. “And look at our relationship with Yongguk and Junhong. It’s the exact same thing, Daehyun. They live paycheck to paycheck. Junhong has no one else in the world. Are you only his friend because you pity him?”
He shook his head, cheeks squishing in her hold. “I like them because they’re nice to me.” He admitted.
“But do you pity them?”
His mouth fell open as he thought about her words. “Yes.” He admitted. “I feel sorry for them.”
“Does it affect your feelings towards them any?” She asked softly, seeing her son finally come to his senses. “Does it matter how much money they have or where they live or their circumstances? Would you not be friends with them if their lives were different?”
Daehyun stared at her for a moment, the light finally dawning in his wide eyes. “Can you drive me to Jongup’s?”
She threw her head back and groaned. “It’s about time!”
---
Daehyun jumped out of the car and raced towards the home before his mother had even put it in park. He pounded harshly on the door until Mi-Ra opened it with a startled expression.
“Daehyun? What’s wrong?”
He rudely pushed past her, running to Jongup’s room and finally stopping in his doorway, chest heaving and eyes watering. “Jonguppie?” He choked out, seeing his best friend lying in the exact same position he had been in previously.
The other boy jumped up off the bed and eyed him warily. “What are you doing here?” His voice was timid, almost as if he was afraid of him.
Daehyun took a step towards him and hung his head. “I’m sorry.” He whispered. “I’m so sorry.”
That was all the explanation Jongup needed to erupt in a bright smile, pulling the smaller boy into his arms and burying his face in his hair. “It’s alright, Daehyunnie.” He told him, grinning happily. “We’ll always be best friends even if you get mad at me.”
Their mothers watched from the doorway as the two boys finally made up. Mi-Ra quietly pulled the door closed so that they would have some privacy.
She offered Rae-Ha a glass of water while they waited in the kitchen.
“What finally made him come around?”
Rae-Ha rolled her eyes. “I had to compare his relationship with Jongup to how he views Junhong and Yongguk. Even if he feels sorry for them, they’re still his friends.”
Mi-Ra frowned. “How do you think those two boys will manage when you leave?” She asked, her nightly phone calls having consisted of more talk than just Jongup and Daehyun. “That little one sounds pretty attached to you.”
A smile graced the other woman’s lips at the thought of her little Junhong. He had spent only one evening with them since their weekend together and she knew she only had one more visit with him before they left for good.
“Junhong is going to be missed very much. But as much as I would love to keep him with us, he belongs with his brother. They would be lost without each other.”
“The older boy still doesn’t want to leave?”
Rae-Ha shook her head. “I mentioned it again when he picked Junhong up Sunday night, but he’s pretty insistent that they can take care of themselves. But I told him the offer is on the table if he wants to take it up.” She looked back towards the bedrooms. “How is Himchan doing? Is he healing any?”
Groaning, Mi-Ra hung her head in her hands. “That boy.” She growled. “I will kill him myself if he doesn’t stop acting like a four year old. His father gave him a bell.” Her eyes flashed heatedly at her friend. “A bell. Do you know how many times a day I hear that tinkling sound? I even hear it in my sleep!”
Chuckling, Rae-Ha patted her hand. “I’m sure it’ll get better s-“
As if he could hear himself being talked about, a loud ringing sound came from Himchan’s bedroom.
When Mi-Ra’s eyes twitched and her gaze landed on the butcher’s block on the counter, Rae-Ha jumped up and volunteered to check on him for her.
“Himchan?” She asked, knocking gently on the closed door. When she opened it, she wrinkled her nose at the sour smell coming from his bedroom. She questioned when the last time he had a proper bath was and was that milk dried into the carpet? “Honey, it’s Rae-Ha. May I come in?”
A messy head of hair emerged from the blanket. “What?” He coughed and tried to pull himself to a sitting position. “Daehyun’s here?”
She nodded, helping him untangle his broken hand from the sheet. “He’s in Jongup’s room. They are making up.”
He breathed a deep sigh of relief and hung his head. “Good.” He mumbled. “I’m glad.”
“Did you want something? You rang your bell.”
“My hand hurts.” He whined, leaning his head on her shoulder. “My mom told me I can’t have any more pain medicine.” His wide eyes looked up at hers as he popped his bottom lip out. “Can you ask her to give me some?”
Laughing at his pathetic display of aegyo, she apologized and patted his leg. “Sorry sweetie. But mom’s rules are not to be broken.”
“C-Can I see Daehyun then?” His voice cracked and he coughed to cover it up. “When he’s finished talking to Jongup?”
“Of course.” She reassured him. “But… Maybe you should go take a shower first and clean up a little.”
Himchan’s cheeks flushed pink as he looked around his room in embarrassment. The entire week had consisted of lying in his bed and complaining about everything while forcing his mother to wait on him hand and foot. Now that someone else was viewing his filth, he was a little ashamed.
“O-Okay.” He nodded, standing up on shaky feet that had barely left his room for a whole week.
When they emerged from his bedroom, Mi-Ra jumped up in shock. “Himchan!” She gasped, grabbing him by the elbow. “How did you convince him to get out of bed?”
Rae-Ha helped him into the bathroom, turning the shower nozzle on to warm the room up. “I told him that after he got cleaned up then he could speak to Daehyun.”
Sly eyes slid over to her son as Mi-Ra shot him a wink. “Of course that got him up.” She said knowingly.
He shot her a panicked glare, begging her silently to shut up. Laughing, she shoved a towel in his face as they left him alone in the bathroom. “You just make yourself look all pretty for Daehyunnie, okay?”
At his strangled yelp of protest, Mi-Ra shut the door behind her and led a confused Rae-Ha back into the kitchen.
“What was that all about?”
Mi-Ra laughed and shook her head. “Oh it’s nothing.” She said, waving it off. “Let’s just say that Himchan is very fond of your son.” Her eyebrows waggled. “Very, very fond of him.”
“Oh… OH!” Rae-Ha slapped a hand over her mouth and tried to hold back her laughter. “You mean?”
Shrugging, the other woman took a drink from her mug. “Pretty sure, yes.”
“Well…” Rae-Ha blinked a few times. “That’s… New?”
They stared awkwardly at each other for a moment before simultaneously bursting out into giggles.
“No wonder Daehyun’s been so uncomfortable lately when I mention Himchan’s name.” Rae-Ha mused. “I was wondering what’s been going on between them.” Mi-Ra’s smirk had her sitting up straight in her seat. “Is there more going on between them?” She hissed.
Mi-Ra blew her a kiss. “Once.”
“My baby!” Rae-Ha threw her hands down on the table and plopped her head on them. “He’s becoming a man!”
The two women tried to stifle their laughter when Himchan emerged from the bathroom, hair dripping all over the floor as he eyed them suspiciously.
“What are you two laughing about?” He asked, tugging the towel up higher on his stomach.
Before they could answer, Jongup’s door banged open and he rushed out, gripping tightly onto Daehyun’s hand. They bumped into Himchan on the way, the smaller boy muttering a sorry as his eyes lifted up to his. They widened when falling upon his attire, or lack thereof. But Jongup was refusing to stop, dragging him into the kitchen where their mothers sat.
Daehyun hurriedly looked away, not wanting his eyes to fall on the wet, half-naked boy in the hall. He was thirteen, not five; he knew what that flash of heat that went through his body meant. It was something he had never felt before, but he and Jongup had watched enough movies for him to know what it would lead to and that was a new and uncomfortable experience that he did not want to happen in front of their mothers.
He nervously tugged his shirt down farther, keeping his gaze on the ground, hoping no one noticed.
Jongup had stopped at the table and was excitedly telling the women that they were going to have a sleepover for the last two nights together and that Jongup was going to go spend winter break in Busan with Daehyun since Junhong was getting to go and that they were best friends again finally.
“Daehyun-ah?” Himchan’s deep voice shook with nervousness as he took a step into the kitchen.
Mi-Ra stood up and headed towards him. “Son, why don’t you go get changed. You’re dripping all over my floor. If Daehyun is spending the night then you will have time to talk to him later.”
Shoulders slumping, the teenager nodded and gave him one last pitiful glance before heading back to his bedroom and shutting the door behind him.
“Well, if you’re staying here tonight then I can finish packing tomorrow without you in the way. Jongup you can spend tomorrow night with us since it’s the last night there. Junhong is staying, too. We’ll drop you off as we leave, okay?” Rae-Ha took one last drink of her water and stood up, ruffling Daehyun’s hair. “Have a good time, baby.”
“Let’s go and play our game!” Jongup said happily. “I played it a couple times while you were gone, but it wasn’t as much fun.” The smile slipped off his face a little as he remembered their week apart. “But everything’s okay now so we can play together again!”
---
A knock at the door interrupted them right in the middle of a difficult level.
“Boys?” Mi-Ra stuck her head in. “I fixed some supper if you’re hungry.”
Jongup howled when his character was killed fighting an enemy. “Not right now mom! We’ve been playing this level for an hour!”
Daehyun pouted and shot her a helpless look. She chuckled at him, knowing he would rather eat than play video games.
“Ten more minutes.” She said sternly. “Then you have to come eat.”
Himchan sat at the table, tapping his fingers on the wood. “I don’t really feel like eating tonight. Can I just go back to bed?”
His mother frowned at him. “Why? Are you sick?”
He shook his head and pulled away from her hands. “No. I’m just… Why won’t he talk to me?” He asked angrily. “I ask politely and he ignores me and I even called him and he just hung up on me! I’ve been waiting all afternoon for him and he’s still in there playing those stupid games!”
“What exactly do you want to tell him, Himchan?” She tried to keep him quiet so that the two boys wouldn’t overhear. “Maybe he’s confused and doesn’t want to listen right now. You have to remember he’s a couple years younger than you and he’s going through a really big rough patch.”
Himchan took a deep breath. “I don’t know what I want to say.” He admitted. “But there’s something I’m supposed to be saying and I don’t know what it is. How many times do I have to apologize before I feel like it’s enough?”
Mi-Ra thought about his words for a moment before answering. “Himchan, have you felt this way about Daehyun for a long time?” She asked slowly. “Or did it just happen when you saw him being bullied?”
His jaw ticked as he stared at the table in front of him. He thought back to the all years Daehyun had been a part of their family, how he’s watched him grow up, how he loved to tease him and make that blush erupt across his tanned cheeks.
“A while.” He finally answered.
The bedroom door burst open and the two younger boys came running out and falling into their chairs.
“Hey hyung, Daehyun is back! Isn’t that great!” Jongup said, grinning brightly at him.
Himchan just nodded, eyes catching momentarily with Daehyun’s, before they both looked away uncomfortably.
Raising her eyebrows, Mi-Ra watched Daehyun nervously bite his lip, eyes sliding back over to Himchan when he wasn’t looking. She swallowed a smile at their cuteness before serving the food to everyone so they could eat.
“Are you looking forward to seeing Busan again?” She asked Daehyun, trying to distract him from his awkwardness.
He nodded slowly, taking a peek at Jongup to gauge his reaction. “I’m happy to see my grandpa more often.” He answered quietly. “We only see him on holidays.”
“Did you live with him while you were growing up?”
“No.” He told her, grabbing another spoonful of soup. “My mom tried to keep us in the house my dad bought until she lost her job and we moved here.”
Daehyun didn’t like to speak of his father, so she didn’t ask any more questions. He had died when his son was in his first year of school from a car accident and the subject had always been off-limits for him.
“Your mother told me that she’s buying you a cell phone when you get settled in. That must be exciting.”
He shrugged. “It’s not like I have a whole lot of friends to talk to. Just Jonguppie and Junhong.”
Wanting to mess with her son a little, Mi-Ra smiled at him. “And you have Junhong’s older brother. Rae-Ha told me that you two have gotten very close.”
Reaching its designated target, Himchan’s head popped up off the table and his eyes narrowed in onto Daehyun’s uncomfortable ones.
“Y-Yes.” He stuttered, twirling his food around with his spoon. “Yongguk-hyung is very nice to me. I like him a lot. But he works so much that I don’t think I would be able to talk to him very much. Just Junhong.”
“Well if you want more people to talk to, you can always give Himchan your phone number.” She volunteered, clearing her shocked son’s plate away. “He has his own phone so you could text him anytime you wanted.”
Daehyun’s face turned red from the tips of his ears and all the way across his cheeks. “Um… M-Maybe, yeah.”
Mi-Ra shot Himchan a thumb’s up, ignoring his hateful glare as he stomped off to his room in embarrassment.
“What’s wrong with him?” Jongup asked around a mouthful of meat. “He in a bad mood?”
“When is he not?” She sighed, ruffling his hair.
---
Jongup happily filled his suitcase with a change of clothes and his pajamas as he chattered on to Daehyun about how excited he was to see Junhong again.
“I had a lot of fun playing with him last week.” He explained, packing up a few action figures of his own to take. “He seems like a sweet kid.”
Daehyun smiled from where he sat on the bed. “He is. My mom really loves him. I like his brother a lot, too. He’s really calming.”
At the mention of Yongguk, the other boy stiffened and refused to turn around. “Yeah. That’s nice.” He mumbled, distractedly.
“Daehyun?” Mi-Ra knocked on the door. “Your mother is here to pick you two up. She said to hurry because Junhong has already called her three times wanting to know where she was.”
They ran out, both trying to hold Jongup’s stuffed full case together, with Daehyun teasing him that he was as prissy as his brother.
Neither of them noticed the elder boy sitting on the couch with a frown on his face as they hollered their goodbyes to Jongup’s mother.
Mi-Ra turned towards Himchan after she had shut the door and crossed her arms. “Alright, I think it’s time you and I had a long talk.”
---
Junhong pouted and threw himself in front of the door. “No.” He growled. “I don’t want you to put your boxes in the truck!”
Rae-Ha sighed and grabbed his feet, pulling him away. “Junhong, don’t be rude. Your brother is waiting.” She opened the door and smiled tiredly at the boy standing in the hall. “Hello Yongguk. Thank you for coming to help.”
He grinned and gave her a short bow as he entered the home. “Well you have kept the kid a lot lately. The least I can do is help carry boxes out to the trailer.” He rolled up his sleeves and bent over to pick up a couple near the door. “Do you want me to just start stacking them up?”
She nodded and rubbed a smudge of dirt off her cheek. “If you don’t mind. The boys are still in Daehyun’s room trying to finish up so I’ll have them helping you in a minute.”
“Junhong, why don’t you go tell the boys that Yongguk is here so they need to hurry.”
The little boy ran off screaming her message at the top of his lungs instead of telling them in person like she wanted. She yawned and looked around the apartment tiredly. The furniture all came with the apartment so she wouldn’t have to worry about packing any of it up.
Inside the bedroom, Jongup froze as he was taping up a box of Daehyun’s shoes. “Junhong’s brother is here?”
Daehyun shrugged. “Mom asked him to come over and help carry out the boxes to the trailer.”
The bigger boy frowned. “How much do you really know about that guy anyways? He could be a crook for all you know.”
The image of the two scary men cornering them in the alley popped into Daehyun’s head and he shivered. But then he remembered how Yongguk had forced Daehyun behind his body, shielding him, and he knew Jongup’s words would never be fully true.
“Yongguk-hyung is my friend.” He said softly. “I trust him, so please don’t say anything bad about him.”
Jongup narrowed his eyes, wanting to argue, but the look in Daehyun’s glare stopped him. For whatever reason, his friend really liked that boy. Even if Jongup didn’t think it was wise.
“Hyung!” Junhong’s eyes peered around the door frame. “Are you ready yet? Mom said I can help carry out boxes, too!” His skinny body jumped into the room. “She said I have big muscles just like Yongguk-hyung!” He flexed his arms and preened for them.
Trying to hold back snorts of laughter, the two boys nodded seriously at him.
“Oh yeah, Junhong-ah.” Jongup felt his bicep and whistled. “I think you could beat me up if you really tried.”
That earned him a proud smile as Junhong puffed his chest out and headed towards the door. He passed by his brother and jumped at him, making Yongguk gasp and cover his mouth in mock horror.
“Junhonggie!” He pleaded, quivering against the wall. “Please don’t hurt me! You’re so strong and scary!”
Junhong laughed and jumped on top of his brother’s back. “My feet hurt, hyung. Carry me and maybe I’ll let you live.”
Yongguk rolled his eyes and grabbed another large box off the table. “You are a brat.” He teased, heading off down the hall with the smaller boy curled around him like a monkey.
“See?” Daehyun turned to Jongup. “Hyung is amazing.”
Grimacing, Jongup ignored his friend. “Let’s start getting your room cleared out.” He grabbed the box he had been taping and hefted it up.
“Wait!” Daehyun grabbed a few of them and shoved them off to the side. “Not these, okay? These stay out.”
Used to his friend’s weird quirks, Jongup agreed without question and headed towards the door.
By the time they had the entire apartment empty, it was verging on lunchtime so Rae-Ha offered to take them all out to eat before sending them home.
Daehyun’s favorite restaurant was a short walk away from their apartment and he wanted to eat at it one last time before leaving.
Junhong insisted on sitting in between Daehyun and his mother, forcing the other two boys to sit uncomfortably next to each other on the opposite side.
They ate tiredly, the only sound was the clinking of their chopsticks on the bowls. Even the youngest boy was exhausted from their morning of cleaning and packing.
By the time the meal was over he was half asleep, his face precariously close to falling into his soup. Yongguk grabbed his brother, the little boy curling his face into his neck and mumbling a quiet apology for being so sleepy.
“Don’t be sorry, Junhonggie.” He murmured, patting his back gently. “Hyung doesn’t mind carrying you.”
“Well let’s go back and do one final sweep of the apartment before we leave. Make sure we didn’t miss anything.” Rae-Ha said, throwing her napkin on the table. “We won’t be able to come home if we forgot something.”
Daehyun remembered the boxes he had set aside and grinned. He skipped forward, dragging Jongup by the hand. “I have a surprise for Junhong!” He whispered as they entered the apartment ahead of everyone else. “Help me carry it out to the car?”
They shoved them into the trunk of the car and waited for the others to join them. Even though he knew that he would never see his apartment again, Daehyun wasn’t as sad as he thought he’d be. The excitement of seeing his grandpa soon and being home in Busan was finally starting to hit him.
Junhong woke up long enough to call dibs on the front seat, jumping out of his brothers arms and grinning innocently up at him from the car.
Daehyun slid into the backseat, scooting over to the window and leaving the last two boys on the sidewalk. They eyed each other, Yongguk scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.
“You scoot next to Daehyun and I take the window and we try not to touch each other?” He finally suggested.
“Deal.” Jongup hopped into the car, practically sitting on his shocked friends lap. “I’m going to miss you so much, Daehyunnie!” He cooed, using the excuse that he just wanted a few last minutes of closeness with him.
Shrugging it off, Daehyun smiled happily at him, laying his head on Jongup’s shoulder until they got to the brother’s apartment building.
Junhong clenched onto the seat tightly and refused to let go. “It’s not fair.” He mumbled, tears dripping over his cheeks. “I don’t want you to go.” His chin quivered, but he tried his hardest to stifle down the sob that was choking him.
Rae-Ha’s lips turned down as she watched the little boy beside her do everything possible to stay strong. “I know it’s not fair, baby.” She murmured, swiping his soft cheeks with her thumb. “But this isn’t goodbye, I promise. It’s just a few more weeks till break and you are going to have so much fun staying with us.”
Watching his brother say goodbye to yet another mother broke Yongguk’s heart. But at least this one didn’t leave in the middle of the night without even saying a word. And she wasn’t leaving forever.
“Come on, Junhonggie.” Yongguk told him gruffly, patting his head over the seat. “They have a long drive ahead of them and they still need to take Jongup home.”
Nodding, Junhong quickly wrapped his skinny arms around Rae-Ha’s middle and buried his face into her neck. “Goodbye mom.” He mumbled. Pulling away, he gave Daehyun a forced grin. “Bye Daehyun-hyung. I will be looking forward to seeing you on break.”
Daehyun smiled back as he gave him a sad wave, watching as Yongguk had to practically pull him out of the car. “Oh!” His eyes widened and he jumped out. “Mom, open the trunk!”
When she popped it open, he excitedly pulled out the boxes and stacked them onto the ground in front of a confused Junhong. “What are these for, hyung?”
Motioning him forward, Daehyun peeled the tape back and let him look inside the top one. “This box is full of Lego’s and the other ones have some toys and books and things that I don’t use anymore.” He swallowed nervously, worried Yongguk would get angry and say they didn’t need charity. “My room at our new home won’t hold a lot of stuff so I thought you would enjoy them more than me.”
Junhong’s eyes lit up as he looked anxiously up at his older brother. “Can I keep them, hyung? Please, can I keep them?”
Swallowing thickly, Yongguk merely nodded, giving the smaller boy all the motivation he needed to jump into his friends arms and squeeze him tightly. “Thank you, hyung.” He whispered breathlessly into his ear. “I will never ever forget this.”
Yongguk’s hand rested gently on Daehyun’s shoulder as Junhong squealed and grabbed the top box, lugging it towards the door. He was so happy to have new Lego’s that he didn’t even stop to wave goodbye as he left.
“You’re a good kid, Daehyun.” A deep voice told him softly. “A real good kid.”
“I’m only four years younger than you, hyung!” He teased him back. “You can’t call me a kid for very much longer!”
His face blanching, the elder boy’s eyes darted to the car where Jongup was leaning out the window listening to their conversation. When the small, dark eyes met his, he quickly jerked his gaze away. “No.” He muttered, smiling weakly at Daehyun. “I guess you’re right.”
“Take good care of your mom.” Yongguk ordered him. “You got damn lucky with her and you should appreciate it.”
Rae-Ha snapped her fingers at him. “No foul language young man. Now get upstairs and keep an eye on my sweetheart.”
He nodded and waved goodbye to them as they drove off. His lips were curled up, but it didn’t reach his eyes.
It was almost as if he knew the next time they met wouldn’t be a happy occasion.
---
Jongup gripped him so tightly around the waist that Daehyun finally had to gasp out for him to let go.
“Geez, I still have bruises there!” He joked, rubbing his ribcage. “Oh no.” He watched horrified as his best friend’s face started to crumple, his eyes filling with tears. “You’re not going to cry, are you?”
Mi-Ra saw the impending tantrum her normally happy go lucky son was about to throw and quickly ushered him into his room to calm down. “You can come out before they leave and say goodbye. Go ahead and let it all out in there.”
She turned to Daehyun with a sad smile. “Come here, Daehyunnie.” She whispered, holding her arms out to the boy who as close to her as her own children were. “We are going to miss you so much.” She murmured against his hair. “Don’t forget about us, okay?”
He sniffed and shook his head. “I love you.”
“I love you so much, baby.” She replied, pulling away and wiping his tears with her thumbs. “Now, I think there’s someone else that has been anxious to tell you goodbye, too.”
When she raised an eyebrow and motioned towards the other bedroom, he gulped and started to refuse.
“Please.” She said quietly. “Please just go talk to him, Daehyun.”
He could see the plea in her eyes to fix this, whatever this was.
The knock on the door went unanswered with Mi-Ra telling him to just go ahead and go in.
The room was clean, no more dirty stench or caked in food, the sheets freshly washed. Daehyun shut the door behind him and decided to just observe the elder boy for a moment.
His profile was viewable as he curled up on the window seat, staring idly out the window with a pair of headphones lodged into his ears. Daehyun lips quirked up into a smile as he watched his lips mouth silently along to the music.
He slowly made his way towards him, casually sitting down on the other end of the seat and giggling when the shocked boy yelped and jumped backwards.
“God Daehyun!” He hissed, ripping the buds out of his ears and throwing them off to the side. “Make a noise or something next time!”
The smile slipped off of his face. “But there won’t be a next time, hyung.”
Himchan’s face paled. “You’re really leaving then?” He clenched his good hand into a fist and closed his eyes. “I kept thinking that this would end up like one of those dramas my mom loves and you would suddenly decide to stay.”
Daehyun shook his head. “I’m sorry.”
They were silent for a moment, Daehyun staring nervously out the window and the elder boy watching him closely.
“Will you miss me?” He asked seriously.
“W-What?” Daehyun turned towards him and blinked rapidly.
“When you leave.” Himchan repeated, leaning towards him, his voice nothing like the awkward and scared boy that Daehyun had been seeing lately. “Will. You. Miss. Me?” By the time he finished with the question the space between them was minimal. “Because I’ll miss you, Daehyun-ah.” A warm palm cupped his cheek, making the smaller boy uncomfortable.
“I told you to stop confusing me.” Daehyun whispered. He shook his head and jerked away, giving him a disappointed glare. “Stop doing this to me!” He turned to walk away, but a strong arm grabbed his elbow, swinging him back around.
Himchan pulled him against his chest and dropped his face into Daehyun’s soft brown hair. “I’m not trying to confuse you.” He murmured. “How can I be when you’re the one confusing me?”
Wary eyes met his as the shorter boy lifted his face. “How am I confusing you, hyung?”
Before Himchan could answer, his mouth already open to speak, a sharp rap sounded on the door. “Daehyun? We really need to be leaving or we won’t get to Busan before bedtime.”
“I have to go.” He tried to push the elder boy away, but the tight grip kept him in place.
“Not until you tell me that you’ll miss me.” Himchan said stubbornly. “And that you’ll call me or text me and you’ll come back to visit.”
Daehyun closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around the surprised boy’s shoulders. “Of course I’ll miss you, hyung.” He whispered against his chest. “And I will do those things. I promise.”
Himchan sighed a deep breath of relief and nodded. “Good. T-That’s good.”
Stepping out of his arms, Daehyun gave him one last small smile and wave as he opened the door. “Goodbye hyung.”
If Himchan had known that those would be the last words Daehyun spoke to him for three years then he wouldn’t have had that happy grin on his face as he watched him leave his room. And his life.
(ten)