Trustworthy *chapter fourteen*
Pairing: HimDae
Rated: PG13
Length: 3.8K
"Who do you have for math?" Youngjae ripped the paper out of Daehyun's hands and groaned. "My cousin had him a few years ago. He's supposed to be the worst!" He held his schedule up and peered between the two sheets. "We have a morning class together, lunch and then study hall. Not bad."
Daehyun smiled as his friend chattered on their way to the bike racks where Zelo was waiting on them.
"Zelo!" He was completely forgotten as the two boys reunited as if they hadn't just seen each other that morning and every morning before that for the previous two years. "Are you coming over today? My mom isn't going to be home but she gave me some money this morning to go get some snacks from the store."
Zelo nodded, still not speaking more than what was necessary after all this time. He had shot up a lot over the winter and now stood eye to eye with Daehyun. Pretty soon he was going to pass him, he thought. His hand braided naturally with Youngjae's and he gave Daehyun a small wave as they headed off towards home. Zelo's face instantly relaxed the second Youngjae started in with his talkative side again, probably telling him something stupid that Daehyun had done that day.
He walked home alone, dragging his feet on the ground and not even caring if it tore his shoes up. School was now over for the summer and he had no use for them. His mother said she would buy him a bigger size next year anyway since he had grown just slightly. At least he was now bigger than Jongup, he thought with a smirk. His best friend had always teased him about being the smaller of the two, but he had stopped growing over a year ago while Daehyun was still slowly gaining height.
In just two days Jongup was going to be coming up and staying for a month with them and Daehyun was so excited he was about to bust. The family had wanted Daehyun to come to their home and spend the summer with them but he had refused, using the excuse that Zelo would be lonely without him. Zelo probably wouldn't even notice he left though. Not with the way he watched Yoo Youngjae every second they were together with stars in his eyes.
He frowned. Youngjae really needed to put a stop to that before someone got hurt. And by someone he really meant his twelve year old adopted brother.
"Hyung!" He grinned when he saw Yongguk's car in the driveway and ran excitedly into the house. "You're home from school early!" Yongguk hadn't thought he'd arrive from college until the weekend and Daehyun was so excited to see him after three months apart that he jumped towards him, wrapping his arms tightly around Yongguk's broad shoulders.
"I missed you, too." Yongguk chuckled, squeezing his waist and lifting him off the ground. "My teacher gave us the option of taking the last test early so I thought I'd go ahead and finish so I could come home. I wanted to surprise you and Zelo but he must be off at Youngjae's again."
Even though he tried to smile brightly, Daehyun could still see the hurt in his eyes at how close his brother still was with the other boy. He had kept out hope that Zelo would befriend someone from his class but it never happened. The little boy refused every day to even try, always running off with Youngjae the second Yongguk was done grilling him.
"He usually comes home before supper. Mom said it would look bad if he ate over there every night. She didn't want the Yoo's to think we weren't feeding him good enough." Daehyun pouted and crossed his arms across his chest. "Am I not good enough for you to spend time with?"
Yongugk laughed and tugged him back into his arms, ruffling his hair playfully. "You're more than good enough, Daehyun-ah. I see you got your braces off while I was gone. You look really good."
He blushed and ducked out from under his embrace. "Yeah well I'm just glad they're not crooked anymore. I asked mom if I could get contacts next and she said maybe next year."
They settled in on the back porch, the weather so pretty neither boy wanted to be cooped up inside. Yongguk drummed his fingers on the porch swing for a minute deep in thought. It was obvious he had something on his mind but Daehyun waited till he felt comfortable enough to ask.
“Your mom said Jongup is coming up for a month.” He kept his eyes trained on the canopy, not letting Daehyun see the frustration in them. “How is he?”
He bit back a smile. Two years of watching those two dance uncomfortably around each other had shown everyone short of his grandpa, who was too old to notice anything to be honest, that there was something between them. No one knew if it was a mutual hatred or the opposite, but Daehyun was amused enough to just watch keep continuing it visit after visit.
“He’s doing pretty great.” He answered happily, proud of his best friend. “He won a dance contest and got moved up to the top group in his dance school. I haven’t gotten to talk to him much the last few weeks because he’s been practicing for a big solo performance tomorrow night. I hope he wins so he’s in a good mood when he comes up the next day.”
“I’m sure he’ll be in a good mood just because he’s coming to see you.” Yongguk eyed him out of the corner of his eyes. “And how’s Jongup’s brother?”
Daehyun winced at the mention of Himchan. No matter how long it had been since they last talked to each other (eight months and five days to be exact, but who’s counting?), just the image of the older boy in his mind was enough to give him whiplash.
He put a calm expression on even though it didn’t fool Yongguk one bit. “Jongup said that Himchan was placed in the advanced classes in school next year. Not surprising, he’s always been a genius. He also got a job helping his dad out in his office on the weekends.”
Yongguk quickly changed the subject. He knew the younger boy still had unresolved emotions connected to Himchan and he didn’t want to drag them all out on a day that was supposed to be happy. They hadn’t seen each other in three months and having grown as close as natural brothers, that was too long apart in their opinions.
“Been enjoying school?” Daehyun rested his head on Yongguk’s shoulder, closing his eyes and relaxing into his warmth.
“It’s not bad. My advisor thinks I can add an extra class next semester and do okay. My roommate is a slob though. I hope he transfers out before I come back next semester.” Yongguk should have stayed and taken a couple of classes over the summer to get ahead, but he was insistent on coming home and working all summer to help Rae-Ha pay for his tuition. She had forced him to take classes at the local college so that he could earn a diploma and then promptly applied at different universities that she thought he would fit in at. Yongguk was originally angry and refused to go, but finally he had agreed that he needed a degree to get a better job than working at the auto shop as a lackey.
Yongguk’s cheek pressed against his hair as they rocked slowly in the swing together. “You’re going to start driving soon.” He murmured sadly. “And you’ve grew a lot since I’ve been home last. You’re not that little boy I found in the streets anymore.”
“I’m a man!” Daehyun growled playfully.
The other boy laughed and pushed him away. “Come on. Let’s go get some stuff for supper. I’m sure Rae-Ha is too tired to cook every night after work.”
They had a huge spread out by the time Daehyun’s mother and grandfather strolled through the door later that evening. Rae-Ha fussed over Yongguk for fifteen minutes until he managed to get away and convince her to sit down and eat.
By the time the family was sitting around the table and filling their plates was the time Zelo arrived home, his backpack dropping to the floor in shock.
“Hyung?” He swallowed heavily and took a step towards his grinning brother before running the rest of the way, jumping into the arms and burying his face in Yongguk’s t-shirt. “You’re home, you’re home!”
Yongguk blinked back the sudden dampness in his eyes and wrapped his arms around Zelo’s back. “Hey kid. I came home early to see you.”
Zelo pulled away and scrubbed his face clean, trying to put his normal blasé expression back on his face. “I didn’t think you’d really come home.” He shrugged his shoulders as if he didn’t even care and turned back to the table, plopping down into his seat.
He didn’t know why his little brother could possibly think he wouldn’t come back for him. As much as he loved Daehyun and his mother, Zelo would always be the most cherished thing in his life.
Yongguk would never leave him behind.
---
Jongup had his arms around Daehyun and refused to let go until he had hugged him for “one minute for every month they’d been apart”.
His eyes were glassy when they finally broke apart but it was happy tears, his smile so wide it threatened to cover his entire face. “I’ve missed you so much, Daehyunnie. And mom was so upset that she doesn’t get to see you this summer that she cried all morning!”
Daehyun felt horrible for not once coming to visit them, but Jongup and his mother had made a couple of visits together over the last two years to see him in Busan so he at least got to visit with her.
“I’m glad you get to stay for a long time.” Daehyun grabbed his hand and drug him into his bedroom. They threw Jongup’s bag into the floor and threw themselves into the bed, sprawling out together like they always used to. “Zelo and Yongguk went to the park, but they’ll be back in a couple hours.” Daehyun snorted at the blanched look Yongguk’s name always put on his friend’s face. “Hyung got back from school a couple days ago. I’m surprised he came back at all, what with the girl he left.”
“Girl?” Jongup rocketed up in the bed and glared hatefully at him. “What girl? Yongguk has a girlfriend? Why didn’t I- When did this happen?”
It was really too easy to mess with these two, Daehyun thought, laughing to himself. “Oh just some girl he’s mentioned to me a few times. I think he’s pretty sweet on her though. Talks about how pretty she is and how nice she smells and-“ A deep rumble in Jongup’s chest stopped him, an innocent smile on his lips. “But I’m sure you don’t want to hear about Yongguk-hyung’s love life. You know, since you hate him so much.”
Jongup couldn’t disagree with him, he did hate Yongguk. Hated him for more reasons than Daehyun would ever know.
But he did know a way to get back at his friend for angering him.
“I think my hyung has a girlfriend, too.” He told him nonchalantly, smirking at the way Daehyun’s ears turned red. “He’s always coming home late and mom complained about having to clean lipstick off of his shirt collars.” Jongup had realized pretty quickly that his older brother had a huge thing for his friend, what with the way he would beg him for new updates on Daehyun’s Busan life, or how he would break into a pathetically large grin when a new text would appear on his phone.
But it wasn’t until last summer that he realized just how much his brother liked his best friend. The memory of walking past the bathroom and hearing his brother moaning Daehyun’s name and panting and-
He shivered and pushed the memory out of his head. That was the day he spent locked in his bedroom and trying not to throw up.
At first Jongup figured it was just a one-sided crush that Himchan had never gotten a chance to outgrow, but once he knew to look for it he noticed how Daehyun would blush when Himchan’s name was spoken. The first time they saw each other after the incident, Jongup casually told him that Himchan said hi.
The way Daehyun gripped onto his shirt, lip sucked high into his mouth, Jongup finally saw it. He just hoped he didn’t have to overhear Daehyun making the same noises his brother was making.
“Gross.” He muttered under his breath.
“What’s gross?” Daehyun’s brows pulled together. “That your brother has a…” He trailed off, not able to even say the words.
Jongup rolled his eyes. “No, just thinking of something else. So tell me all about Youngjae and Zelo. What’s new with them? Are they still attached at the hips?”
It took them up until lunch time to get all of their new stories and gossip out of their systems. Daehyun laughed hysterically as Jongup acted out the way one of their old classmates was hit in the head with a football, and Jongup listened intently when Daehyun explained all the different diagnoses that Zelo had been strapped with by his new therapist.
“Boys! Lunch!” Rae-Ha knocked on the bedroom door, smiling when she saw the two boy’s happy faces. “Yongguk and Zelo just got home but they both need showers before they eat.”
Jongup jumped to his feet, intent on racing out and greeting Zelo warmly, but was stopped by the image of Yongguk peeling off his mud and sweat covered tank top. He froze instantly, eyes trained on the sun kissed skin and defined abs that seemed to have sprung up out of nowhere.
Yongguk’s face when he finally worked the damp shirt off would have been comical if Daehyun wasn’t so uncomfortable. The tension between the two was thick enough to cut with a knife and even Zelo was grimacing.
“Hello Jongup.” The older boy greeted him softly. “It’s nice to see you again.”
“You t-too.” Jongup’s nails cut into his palm to distract him. He finally averted his eyes, fake smile on his face as he greeted Zelo, giving him a hug and exclaiming over how tall he had gotten.
“Tall as you.” Zelo smirked. “Shorty.”
Jongup pretended to be offended, stomping his foot and demanding an apology. “You brat!”
Breaking them apart, Rae-Ha smacked her towel on Jongup’s bottom and teased him to leave her baby alone.
The meal was joyful until Yongguk emerged from the shower, newly cut hair still dripping over his t-shirt and the top button undone. After that it was just awkward silence as the two boys across from each other tried their hardest not to look up and catch eyes.
“So Jongup, I heard you got moved up in your dance classes.” Rae-Ha tried to diffuse the tension and get Jongup talking. “How many people are you working with now?”
It worked, putting a smile on his face. “There’s twelve people in it but I’m the youngest!” He boasted proudly. “The rest are all at least eighteen. My teacher told me that if I keep improving at the rate I’m going she will let me choreograph one of our dances soon!” He was bursting with pride at his accomplishments. Daehyun knew school work was always a struggle for his friend so this was something he could be proud of and brag about.
When the meal was finally over, Yongguk took the opportunity to duck out, claiming he needed to head out to the shop and talk to the owner about coming back for the summer. But it was obvious he was just trying to get away from Jongup. The curiosity about what was going on between the two had been burning at him for months and he finally couldn’t take it anymore.
“Are you ever going to tell me what happened between you and Yongguk?” He burst out with the second they were outside and headed towards the beach.
“I’ll tell you when you explain to me what’s going on between you and my hyung.” Jongup told him calmly, face devoid of emotion.
That was exactly the right thing to say because it shut Daehyun up instantly. He didn’t know what to say in reply so he chose to say nothing.
“Do you want to swim or play football?” Jongup sat down on his towel and pulled his flip-flops and t-shirt off, rummaging around in his backpack for his sunglasses.
“Play.” Daehyun stole the football off his lap and ran down the beach ignoring the annoyed calls from his best friend to give the ball back.
By the time they had played until they were exhausted and swam in the ocean until their fingers were shriveled, it was time to head home for supper. Rae-Ha left a note that she had been called in to work and to just order something out which was fine by them. She had dropped Zelo off with Youngjae and his mother on her way in so it was just the two of them. Unfortunately for Jongup, Yongguk decided to walk in the second he had made himself comfortable on the couch, Daehyun sound asleep beside him.
“Hey.” Yongguk’s eyes flickered between him and the sound asleep other boy a few times. “Where’s everyone at?”
“Out.” Jongup replied curtly, body stiffening at the practically unheard of question directed at him. They were supposed to pretend each other didn’t exist. It had been the unspoken rule for two years and he wasn’t in the mood to change it now.
Yongguk frowned at the rude tone but decided not to question it. He peered into the fridge and hoped there was something edible in there because he was starving after having been put to work the second he arrived. He was dirty, his clothes were drenched in sweat again and he was in a bad mood. Jongup would have saw all of that in his eyes and wisely toed the line for the night, but since he refused to look at him he missed everything.
Sighing with relief, Yongguk found their leftovers in the fridge and immediately set out to devour them, half the box shoved into his mouth in just a few bites.
He picked up to throw the container in the trash right when Jongup dared a glance behind him, eyes widening in shock. “What are you doing? That was mine!” He jumped up and stormed over, snatching it out of Yongguk’s hands and hissed at the emptiness inside. “What kind of an animal eats someone else’s food? I was going to eat the rest of it later!” Jongup was so angry that his brain didn’t even have time to tell him that the way he was acting was irrational and petty, his only thought was to put the older boy in his place. “Were you raised by wolves? Is that it?” His finger ended up poking into Yongguk’s chest, face craning up into his as he threw out insult after insult, not caring that Yongguk just stood there and took it, not saying anything, not even mad. Just quiet, tired eyes locked with Jongup’s spiteful ones.
“Are you done yet?” He questioned, voice gruff with emotion.
“Am I done what? Done letting you know that what you did was childish? And rude? And-“
“No.” Yongguk cut him off, pushing his body away from the wall and standing up to his full height. “Are you done hating me yet?”
This threw Jongup for a loop. “I don’t- How can you…?” Jongup shook the memories out of his head. “This isn’t about that, Yongguk.”
Yongguk let out a deep breath. “It’s always been about that, Guppie.”
“Don’t call me that.” Jongup practically growled at him, fists tangling in Yongguk’s dirty shirt. “You can’t call me that. You gave up that right when you…” He trailed off, not wanting to finish the sentence.
“When I what?” Strong hands squeezed his cheeks, forcing his face up towards his own. “When I left you? Just say it, Guppie. Say you hate me for what I did to you. Just fucking say it so I can finally hear it because I’ve been telling myself that for two and a half years.”
Jongup forced back the tears, not able to speak, his jaw closed tightly under Yongguk’s palms.
“Is it going to be like this forever?” Yongguk dragged him closer, pressing his forehead against Jongup’s cheek, breath ghosting over his skin. “You looking at me like you wished I were dead? Don’t you think I wish that, too? You don’t think I want to kill myself for everything I’ve done? What I let happen to my brother, what I did to you?”
“Guk…” Jongup garbled his name, his mind and his heart fighting against each other inside of him.
“I know it’s my fault for flirting with you and never once asking how old you were, but damn Jongup, you were a tall kid and I thought you were at least fifteen. And you flirted back with me, just as hard and I wanted it, wanted you, and I’m sorry, I pulled you in too deep. By the time I found out you were just thirteen I was already half in love with you and I snapped, okay? I snapped and I should have told you why I quit, the thought of what your face looked like when a new janitor started at the studio killed me for months, but you have to understand, I was seventeen!” Yongguk pulled away, eyes wild. “I could have been arrested, they would have taken Junhong from me, I had to th-“
He stopped speaking the second Jongup’s lips were on his, searching, sinking in, making him forget every thought he had in his head. The feel of their lips moving in synch together was something he had been without for so long that he had been drowning in the ache.
And in just that split second, Bang Yongguk finally came home.
(fifteen)
Rated: PG13
Length: 3.8K
"Who do you have for math?" Youngjae ripped the paper out of Daehyun's hands and groaned. "My cousin had him a few years ago. He's supposed to be the worst!" He held his schedule up and peered between the two sheets. "We have a morning class together, lunch and then study hall. Not bad."
Daehyun smiled as his friend chattered on their way to the bike racks where Zelo was waiting on them.
"Zelo!" He was completely forgotten as the two boys reunited as if they hadn't just seen each other that morning and every morning before that for the previous two years. "Are you coming over today? My mom isn't going to be home but she gave me some money this morning to go get some snacks from the store."
Zelo nodded, still not speaking more than what was necessary after all this time. He had shot up a lot over the winter and now stood eye to eye with Daehyun. Pretty soon he was going to pass him, he thought. His hand braided naturally with Youngjae's and he gave Daehyun a small wave as they headed off towards home. Zelo's face instantly relaxed the second Youngjae started in with his talkative side again, probably telling him something stupid that Daehyun had done that day.
He walked home alone, dragging his feet on the ground and not even caring if it tore his shoes up. School was now over for the summer and he had no use for them. His mother said she would buy him a bigger size next year anyway since he had grown just slightly. At least he was now bigger than Jongup, he thought with a smirk. His best friend had always teased him about being the smaller of the two, but he had stopped growing over a year ago while Daehyun was still slowly gaining height.
In just two days Jongup was going to be coming up and staying for a month with them and Daehyun was so excited he was about to bust. The family had wanted Daehyun to come to their home and spend the summer with them but he had refused, using the excuse that Zelo would be lonely without him. Zelo probably wouldn't even notice he left though. Not with the way he watched Yoo Youngjae every second they were together with stars in his eyes.
He frowned. Youngjae really needed to put a stop to that before someone got hurt. And by someone he really meant his twelve year old adopted brother.
"Hyung!" He grinned when he saw Yongguk's car in the driveway and ran excitedly into the house. "You're home from school early!" Yongguk hadn't thought he'd arrive from college until the weekend and Daehyun was so excited to see him after three months apart that he jumped towards him, wrapping his arms tightly around Yongguk's broad shoulders.
"I missed you, too." Yongguk chuckled, squeezing his waist and lifting him off the ground. "My teacher gave us the option of taking the last test early so I thought I'd go ahead and finish so I could come home. I wanted to surprise you and Zelo but he must be off at Youngjae's again."
Even though he tried to smile brightly, Daehyun could still see the hurt in his eyes at how close his brother still was with the other boy. He had kept out hope that Zelo would befriend someone from his class but it never happened. The little boy refused every day to even try, always running off with Youngjae the second Yongguk was done grilling him.
"He usually comes home before supper. Mom said it would look bad if he ate over there every night. She didn't want the Yoo's to think we weren't feeding him good enough." Daehyun pouted and crossed his arms across his chest. "Am I not good enough for you to spend time with?"
Yongugk laughed and tugged him back into his arms, ruffling his hair playfully. "You're more than good enough, Daehyun-ah. I see you got your braces off while I was gone. You look really good."
He blushed and ducked out from under his embrace. "Yeah well I'm just glad they're not crooked anymore. I asked mom if I could get contacts next and she said maybe next year."
They settled in on the back porch, the weather so pretty neither boy wanted to be cooped up inside. Yongguk drummed his fingers on the porch swing for a minute deep in thought. It was obvious he had something on his mind but Daehyun waited till he felt comfortable enough to ask.
“Your mom said Jongup is coming up for a month.” He kept his eyes trained on the canopy, not letting Daehyun see the frustration in them. “How is he?”
He bit back a smile. Two years of watching those two dance uncomfortably around each other had shown everyone short of his grandpa, who was too old to notice anything to be honest, that there was something between them. No one knew if it was a mutual hatred or the opposite, but Daehyun was amused enough to just watch keep continuing it visit after visit.
“He’s doing pretty great.” He answered happily, proud of his best friend. “He won a dance contest and got moved up to the top group in his dance school. I haven’t gotten to talk to him much the last few weeks because he’s been practicing for a big solo performance tomorrow night. I hope he wins so he’s in a good mood when he comes up the next day.”
“I’m sure he’ll be in a good mood just because he’s coming to see you.” Yongguk eyed him out of the corner of his eyes. “And how’s Jongup’s brother?”
Daehyun winced at the mention of Himchan. No matter how long it had been since they last talked to each other (eight months and five days to be exact, but who’s counting?), just the image of the older boy in his mind was enough to give him whiplash.
He put a calm expression on even though it didn’t fool Yongguk one bit. “Jongup said that Himchan was placed in the advanced classes in school next year. Not surprising, he’s always been a genius. He also got a job helping his dad out in his office on the weekends.”
Yongguk quickly changed the subject. He knew the younger boy still had unresolved emotions connected to Himchan and he didn’t want to drag them all out on a day that was supposed to be happy. They hadn’t seen each other in three months and having grown as close as natural brothers, that was too long apart in their opinions.
“Been enjoying school?” Daehyun rested his head on Yongguk’s shoulder, closing his eyes and relaxing into his warmth.
“It’s not bad. My advisor thinks I can add an extra class next semester and do okay. My roommate is a slob though. I hope he transfers out before I come back next semester.” Yongguk should have stayed and taken a couple of classes over the summer to get ahead, but he was insistent on coming home and working all summer to help Rae-Ha pay for his tuition. She had forced him to take classes at the local college so that he could earn a diploma and then promptly applied at different universities that she thought he would fit in at. Yongguk was originally angry and refused to go, but finally he had agreed that he needed a degree to get a better job than working at the auto shop as a lackey.
Yongguk’s cheek pressed against his hair as they rocked slowly in the swing together. “You’re going to start driving soon.” He murmured sadly. “And you’ve grew a lot since I’ve been home last. You’re not that little boy I found in the streets anymore.”
“I’m a man!” Daehyun growled playfully.
The other boy laughed and pushed him away. “Come on. Let’s go get some stuff for supper. I’m sure Rae-Ha is too tired to cook every night after work.”
They had a huge spread out by the time Daehyun’s mother and grandfather strolled through the door later that evening. Rae-Ha fussed over Yongguk for fifteen minutes until he managed to get away and convince her to sit down and eat.
By the time the family was sitting around the table and filling their plates was the time Zelo arrived home, his backpack dropping to the floor in shock.
“Hyung?” He swallowed heavily and took a step towards his grinning brother before running the rest of the way, jumping into the arms and burying his face in Yongguk’s t-shirt. “You’re home, you’re home!”
Yongguk blinked back the sudden dampness in his eyes and wrapped his arms around Zelo’s back. “Hey kid. I came home early to see you.”
Zelo pulled away and scrubbed his face clean, trying to put his normal blasé expression back on his face. “I didn’t think you’d really come home.” He shrugged his shoulders as if he didn’t even care and turned back to the table, plopping down into his seat.
He didn’t know why his little brother could possibly think he wouldn’t come back for him. As much as he loved Daehyun and his mother, Zelo would always be the most cherished thing in his life.
Yongguk would never leave him behind.
---
Jongup had his arms around Daehyun and refused to let go until he had hugged him for “one minute for every month they’d been apart”.
His eyes were glassy when they finally broke apart but it was happy tears, his smile so wide it threatened to cover his entire face. “I’ve missed you so much, Daehyunnie. And mom was so upset that she doesn’t get to see you this summer that she cried all morning!”
Daehyun felt horrible for not once coming to visit them, but Jongup and his mother had made a couple of visits together over the last two years to see him in Busan so he at least got to visit with her.
“I’m glad you get to stay for a long time.” Daehyun grabbed his hand and drug him into his bedroom. They threw Jongup’s bag into the floor and threw themselves into the bed, sprawling out together like they always used to. “Zelo and Yongguk went to the park, but they’ll be back in a couple hours.” Daehyun snorted at the blanched look Yongguk’s name always put on his friend’s face. “Hyung got back from school a couple days ago. I’m surprised he came back at all, what with the girl he left.”
“Girl?” Jongup rocketed up in the bed and glared hatefully at him. “What girl? Yongguk has a girlfriend? Why didn’t I- When did this happen?”
It was really too easy to mess with these two, Daehyun thought, laughing to himself. “Oh just some girl he’s mentioned to me a few times. I think he’s pretty sweet on her though. Talks about how pretty she is and how nice she smells and-“ A deep rumble in Jongup’s chest stopped him, an innocent smile on his lips. “But I’m sure you don’t want to hear about Yongguk-hyung’s love life. You know, since you hate him so much.”
Jongup couldn’t disagree with him, he did hate Yongguk. Hated him for more reasons than Daehyun would ever know.
But he did know a way to get back at his friend for angering him.
“I think my hyung has a girlfriend, too.” He told him nonchalantly, smirking at the way Daehyun’s ears turned red. “He’s always coming home late and mom complained about having to clean lipstick off of his shirt collars.” Jongup had realized pretty quickly that his older brother had a huge thing for his friend, what with the way he would beg him for new updates on Daehyun’s Busan life, or how he would break into a pathetically large grin when a new text would appear on his phone.
But it wasn’t until last summer that he realized just how much his brother liked his best friend. The memory of walking past the bathroom and hearing his brother moaning Daehyun’s name and panting and-
He shivered and pushed the memory out of his head. That was the day he spent locked in his bedroom and trying not to throw up.
At first Jongup figured it was just a one-sided crush that Himchan had never gotten a chance to outgrow, but once he knew to look for it he noticed how Daehyun would blush when Himchan’s name was spoken. The first time they saw each other after the incident, Jongup casually told him that Himchan said hi.
The way Daehyun gripped onto his shirt, lip sucked high into his mouth, Jongup finally saw it. He just hoped he didn’t have to overhear Daehyun making the same noises his brother was making.
“Gross.” He muttered under his breath.
“What’s gross?” Daehyun’s brows pulled together. “That your brother has a…” He trailed off, not able to even say the words.
Jongup rolled his eyes. “No, just thinking of something else. So tell me all about Youngjae and Zelo. What’s new with them? Are they still attached at the hips?”
It took them up until lunch time to get all of their new stories and gossip out of their systems. Daehyun laughed hysterically as Jongup acted out the way one of their old classmates was hit in the head with a football, and Jongup listened intently when Daehyun explained all the different diagnoses that Zelo had been strapped with by his new therapist.
“Boys! Lunch!” Rae-Ha knocked on the bedroom door, smiling when she saw the two boy’s happy faces. “Yongguk and Zelo just got home but they both need showers before they eat.”
Jongup jumped to his feet, intent on racing out and greeting Zelo warmly, but was stopped by the image of Yongguk peeling off his mud and sweat covered tank top. He froze instantly, eyes trained on the sun kissed skin and defined abs that seemed to have sprung up out of nowhere.
Yongguk’s face when he finally worked the damp shirt off would have been comical if Daehyun wasn’t so uncomfortable. The tension between the two was thick enough to cut with a knife and even Zelo was grimacing.
“Hello Jongup.” The older boy greeted him softly. “It’s nice to see you again.”
“You t-too.” Jongup’s nails cut into his palm to distract him. He finally averted his eyes, fake smile on his face as he greeted Zelo, giving him a hug and exclaiming over how tall he had gotten.
“Tall as you.” Zelo smirked. “Shorty.”
Jongup pretended to be offended, stomping his foot and demanding an apology. “You brat!”
Breaking them apart, Rae-Ha smacked her towel on Jongup’s bottom and teased him to leave her baby alone.
The meal was joyful until Yongguk emerged from the shower, newly cut hair still dripping over his t-shirt and the top button undone. After that it was just awkward silence as the two boys across from each other tried their hardest not to look up and catch eyes.
“So Jongup, I heard you got moved up in your dance classes.” Rae-Ha tried to diffuse the tension and get Jongup talking. “How many people are you working with now?”
It worked, putting a smile on his face. “There’s twelve people in it but I’m the youngest!” He boasted proudly. “The rest are all at least eighteen. My teacher told me that if I keep improving at the rate I’m going she will let me choreograph one of our dances soon!” He was bursting with pride at his accomplishments. Daehyun knew school work was always a struggle for his friend so this was something he could be proud of and brag about.
When the meal was finally over, Yongguk took the opportunity to duck out, claiming he needed to head out to the shop and talk to the owner about coming back for the summer. But it was obvious he was just trying to get away from Jongup. The curiosity about what was going on between the two had been burning at him for months and he finally couldn’t take it anymore.
“Are you ever going to tell me what happened between you and Yongguk?” He burst out with the second they were outside and headed towards the beach.
“I’ll tell you when you explain to me what’s going on between you and my hyung.” Jongup told him calmly, face devoid of emotion.
That was exactly the right thing to say because it shut Daehyun up instantly. He didn’t know what to say in reply so he chose to say nothing.
“Do you want to swim or play football?” Jongup sat down on his towel and pulled his flip-flops and t-shirt off, rummaging around in his backpack for his sunglasses.
“Play.” Daehyun stole the football off his lap and ran down the beach ignoring the annoyed calls from his best friend to give the ball back.
By the time they had played until they were exhausted and swam in the ocean until their fingers were shriveled, it was time to head home for supper. Rae-Ha left a note that she had been called in to work and to just order something out which was fine by them. She had dropped Zelo off with Youngjae and his mother on her way in so it was just the two of them. Unfortunately for Jongup, Yongguk decided to walk in the second he had made himself comfortable on the couch, Daehyun sound asleep beside him.
“Hey.” Yongguk’s eyes flickered between him and the sound asleep other boy a few times. “Where’s everyone at?”
“Out.” Jongup replied curtly, body stiffening at the practically unheard of question directed at him. They were supposed to pretend each other didn’t exist. It had been the unspoken rule for two years and he wasn’t in the mood to change it now.
Yongguk frowned at the rude tone but decided not to question it. He peered into the fridge and hoped there was something edible in there because he was starving after having been put to work the second he arrived. He was dirty, his clothes were drenched in sweat again and he was in a bad mood. Jongup would have saw all of that in his eyes and wisely toed the line for the night, but since he refused to look at him he missed everything.
Sighing with relief, Yongguk found their leftovers in the fridge and immediately set out to devour them, half the box shoved into his mouth in just a few bites.
He picked up to throw the container in the trash right when Jongup dared a glance behind him, eyes widening in shock. “What are you doing? That was mine!” He jumped up and stormed over, snatching it out of Yongguk’s hands and hissed at the emptiness inside. “What kind of an animal eats someone else’s food? I was going to eat the rest of it later!” Jongup was so angry that his brain didn’t even have time to tell him that the way he was acting was irrational and petty, his only thought was to put the older boy in his place. “Were you raised by wolves? Is that it?” His finger ended up poking into Yongguk’s chest, face craning up into his as he threw out insult after insult, not caring that Yongguk just stood there and took it, not saying anything, not even mad. Just quiet, tired eyes locked with Jongup’s spiteful ones.
“Are you done yet?” He questioned, voice gruff with emotion.
“Am I done what? Done letting you know that what you did was childish? And rude? And-“
“No.” Yongguk cut him off, pushing his body away from the wall and standing up to his full height. “Are you done hating me yet?”
This threw Jongup for a loop. “I don’t- How can you…?” Jongup shook the memories out of his head. “This isn’t about that, Yongguk.”
Yongguk let out a deep breath. “It’s always been about that, Guppie.”
“Don’t call me that.” Jongup practically growled at him, fists tangling in Yongguk’s dirty shirt. “You can’t call me that. You gave up that right when you…” He trailed off, not wanting to finish the sentence.
“When I what?” Strong hands squeezed his cheeks, forcing his face up towards his own. “When I left you? Just say it, Guppie. Say you hate me for what I did to you. Just fucking say it so I can finally hear it because I’ve been telling myself that for two and a half years.”
Jongup forced back the tears, not able to speak, his jaw closed tightly under Yongguk’s palms.
“Is it going to be like this forever?” Yongguk dragged him closer, pressing his forehead against Jongup’s cheek, breath ghosting over his skin. “You looking at me like you wished I were dead? Don’t you think I wish that, too? You don’t think I want to kill myself for everything I’ve done? What I let happen to my brother, what I did to you?”
“Guk…” Jongup garbled his name, his mind and his heart fighting against each other inside of him.
“I know it’s my fault for flirting with you and never once asking how old you were, but damn Jongup, you were a tall kid and I thought you were at least fifteen. And you flirted back with me, just as hard and I wanted it, wanted you, and I’m sorry, I pulled you in too deep. By the time I found out you were just thirteen I was already half in love with you and I snapped, okay? I snapped and I should have told you why I quit, the thought of what your face looked like when a new janitor started at the studio killed me for months, but you have to understand, I was seventeen!” Yongguk pulled away, eyes wild. “I could have been arrested, they would have taken Junhong from me, I had to th-“
He stopped speaking the second Jongup’s lips were on his, searching, sinking in, making him forget every thought he had in his head. The feel of their lips moving in synch together was something he had been without for so long that he had been drowning in the ache.
And in just that split second, Bang Yongguk finally came home.
(fifteen)