Addicted
Pairing: HimUp
Rated: M (pretty much pwp)
Length: 3.3K
I'm so addicted to
All the things you do
When you're going down on me
In between the sheets
Or the sound you make
With every breath you take
It's not like anything
When you're loving me (X)
The only times Jongup ever grew annoyed with Himchan’s constant chatter was when he was extremely tired or extraordinarily horny. He’d glare at the heart-shaped lips as they moved a mile a second and wish he could tell him to just. shut. up.
“And then Bbang put in this ridiculous movie that no one wanted to watch so instead w-“
“Daehyun, you’re going to burn the entire building down if you don’t stop playing around with t-“
“I told him to be nice to his hyungs but Junhong just doesn’t seem to c-“
He nodded at the appropriate times but his brain was a million miles away conjuring a hundred different ways to shut Himchan up for five fucking minutes.
When he was tired he would quietly plead with Himchan to tone it down a little and let him sleep in peace and usually that would work. Himchan may have been a bastard to eighty percent of the population but Jongup knew there was a soft spot somewhere deep inside of the older man for him.
“Poor baby Jonguppie.” Himchan would murmur softly to him as he pulled the exhausted Jongup into his lap. His fingers would stroke gently through Jongup’s dirty brown hair and he would fall asleep to the sound of Himchan’s breaths and the smell of cologne still trying to cling to his clothes.
But when he was horny and desperate? When he had gone so many days without getting off because schedules and dance practice? When he was so close to walking out in the middle of interviews because jerking off sounded so much better than listing his favorite members in order?
That was when he thought he would go insane if Himchan said one more word in his presence.
“Be. Quiet.” He hissed through clenched teeth, fingers squeezing the arm rest roughly as they were headed home after yet another interview. All Himchan was doing was singing quietly to himself and even that annoyed him.
“What’s wrong?” Himchan craned his head to look behind him. “Are you okay, Jongup?”
He wanted to shake his head no and tell him it was because he had been forced to listen Himchan talk up their leader the entire way back to the dorm, all the way up until Yongguk had fallen asleep with his head on Himchan’s shoulder. How great of a bandmate he was, how funny he could be when no one was around, how he missed being roommates sometimes, every single word had grated on Jongup until his entire body prickled with the feeling of being rubbed raw.
“If you want to room with Yongguk then just do it and shut up about it.”
Himchan blinked uneasily at the surprising way Jongup was talking to him. Sure he could get a little snappy sometimes, no one’s perfect after all, but he had never spat his words out with so much venom before. And at him of all people. Himchan was supposed to be his favorite hyung.
“I don’t want to room with Yongguk.” Himchan turned all the way around and pouted his lips down at him and all the blood rushed straight towards Jongup’s jeans and fuck, he should never have gone this long. He thought he might actually get off at the way Himchan blinked. Fucking blinked of all things. “You’re my roommate. I want to stay with you.”
“Then stop talking about it.” He wished he didn’t have to whisper to get his point across. Screaming would have been better. But woe be to anyone that woke Yoo Youngjae up when he was in a deep sleep. “Just stop talking period.”
Himchan still looked concerned as he unbuckled the seatbelt and quietly moved to the back seat beside Jongup. He had to crawl over Junhong to do it, the youngest member’s head falling off of his shoulder and landing awkwardly against Yongguk.
“Come here, Jonguppie.” He wrapped an arm around Jongup’s waist and rested his head in the crook of his neck. “Tell hyung why you’re so angry tonight.”
He muttered under his breath and tried to push Himchan away but his delicate features hid a surprising strength and Himchan held tight to him.
“Nope. Not getting out of it that easily. Tell me why you’ve been so moody all day and maybe I can make it better.”
The ache in his pants flared up with a painful throb at the innocent words. “It’s been awhile.” He grumbled, pointing awkwardly to his lap. “Hurts.”
Himchan’s lips parted in an oh shape and Jongup had to bite down hard on his tongue to hide his whine.
“I could- If you wanted me to-“
“No.” He shook his head and scooted further against the side of the car. “We both agreed to stop.”
Or to be more precise, Himchan decided to stop and he was forced to agree.
“I don’t mind.” Himchan glanced up at the two rows of seats in front of him and made sure everyone else was still fast asleep. “Besides, I’ve missed you.”
He clenched his eyes shut and let out a strangled gasp as Himchan’s palm was suddenly cupped directly over the top of his lap. “S-Stop.” He was forced to cover his mouth with his hand because instead of stopping Himchan only pressed down harder. “You told me-“
“That us sleeping together was complicating things.” Himchan always knew the exact moment to turn his cheerful smile to a darker one. “And it does. But that doesn’t mean that I want you to suffer. Besides,” His teeth caught the lobe of Jongup’s ear and he nipped hard at the sensitive flesh. “You should have told me you couldn’t get off without my help. That’s something I would’ve loved to hear.”
The van turned onto their street and Himchan removed his hand, sitting up pristinely in the seat as they drove closer to their building.
The rest of the members woke up slowly and sluggishly when they pulled into the parking lot. Himchan cooed at each of their swollen faces in turn and helped Yongguk out of the van and into the elevator, followed quickly by a whining Daehyun led by the wrist by Youngjae. Jongup and an extraordinarily heavy Junhong stayed back for the next one. Thankfully the cool air and the difficulty dragging their baby member’s giant body was helping to make his arousal take a second seat.
“See you in a bit.” Himchan grinned, shooting Jongup a wink.
“Ugh.” Junhong yawned wetly into Jongup’s neck, not caring that it made the smaller boy grimace and try to wriggle away. “I guess you two are doing it again.”
“What?” He dropped him to the ground in shock. “What do you mean, doing IT?”
Junhong rolled his eyes. He stretched out onto the cold concrete and sighed in sleepiness. “I mean that Himchan sticks his dick in your ass and moans like a little girl and it’s super gross and the walls really aren’t as thick as you think they are.”
He felt his face heating up and didn’t think he had ever been as embarrassed before. “And the whole band knows?”
“Yep.” Junhong dragged himself to his feet just as the elevator dinged and opened up for them. “Daehyun even sang his entire part in Badman pretending to be Himchan. We still can’t perform that song with a straight face.” He let Jongup press the button for their floor and leaned against him again, his entire weight landing on Jongup’s back. “Did you two get in a fight or something?”
He was still flushed with red but at least Junhong wasn’t making a big deal about it. That was something.
“He told me he wanted to stop.”
Junhong lifted bleary eyes up to look at him. “Himchan said that? Kim Himchan?”
“About three months ago.” They stumbled off at their floor and he practically had to carry Junhong down the hallway. “Said it complicated things. So we stopped.”
“The only thing it complicated was our sleeping schedule.” Junhong let Jongup dig the key out of his pocket because he was too tired and didn’t feel like it. “And it’s not like it messed with the band. Himchan knew we all knew about it. He talked about it with Yongguk all the time. Maybe what you heard and what he meant weren’t the same.” He raised an eyebrow at Jongup as he entered their dorm and headed straight for his bedroom.
Daehyun lay face down on the couch with his mouth open and drool already staining the pillow under his lips. The water running in the bathroom meant Yongguk had used his title of eldest hyung to get first shower. And Youngjae was already sound asleep in his bed, the sound of his music drifting into the living room. The only one missing was-
“Hey.” Himchan appeared in their shared doorway, his lips curling up into a slow smile. “C’mere.”
Jongup walked towards him with as much confidence as he could muster but Junhong’s words had confused him and he was full of too many questions to fit in his head. “You said we had to stop.” He murmured as Himchan shut and locked the door behind them. “You didn’t want me anymore.”
“Oh Jonguppie… Is that what you thought?” Himchan looked at him like he was so naïve and maybe he was because he never did understand how they could touch each other so sweetly and so gently one night and the next day Himchan was finished with him. “That’s so far from what I meant.”
Jongup found himself pushed towards the bed, his back hitting the pillows and Himchan’s lips attached firmly to his jaw. The arousal that had melted down to a soft thrumming while talking with Junhong was now a loud and painful roar in his veins, the blood all rushing to one center area all at once. He had missed the feel of Himchan’s fingers stroking lovingly through his hair mixing in with the sharp bites and sucks on his sensitive skin. Every time Himchan touched him it had taken him less and less time to get him off until near the end of their secret relationship just a mere accidental touch in the hallway was enough to make him tremble in need.
“You’re too young for the things I did to you.” Himchan murmured. His hand reached between them to expertly pop the button of his jeans. The sound of his zipper being pulled down was obscenely loud in the quiet room. “You deserve someone your own age that won’t take advantage of your sweetness.”
He wanted to tell him that the sweetness only existed on the outside because the inside was full of thoughts that would make his own mother faint with horror. How every time Himchan opened his mouth to explosively chatter Jongup wanted to grip him by the hair and shove his head down and give him something to shut him up. Or when Himchan was above him and moving so slowly and so carefully like he was made of glass and would break Jongup wished he could scream at him to bend him over and shove his fingers deep into his mouth and make him beg for it.
“I’m not as sweet as you think I am.” He finally answered, his voice way too high and breathy at the moment to make that statement sound believable. “Not really.”
Himchan finished tugging his jeans off and throwing them across the room. He sat back in between Jongup’s thighs and smiled knowingly. “Is that so?” His palms smoothed across the soft skin of Jongup’s thighs, fingertips barely skimming the bottom of his boxers. “What makes you say that?”
“Sometimes I want to shut you up.” He wondered for a half a second if this is a mistake. If giving a voice to all of the dark wants in his head will make Himchan disgusted by him. “With my cock.”
The surprise on Himchan’s face at his choice of words would have been funny if he wasn’t so hard that he thought he was going to cry.
“You talk too much.” Once the words started pouring out he couldn’t stop them if he wanted to. “And I don’t listen to half the junk you say. But I get hard watching your lips move and when you take a break to stick your tongue out and wet them I want to shove my cock down your throat until you gag.”
Himchan’s nails on his legs were digging into his skin, leaving deep crescent marks that Jongup hoped would stay for hours. He wasn’t running away from him yet which was a good sign Jongup hoped.
“Do you think this about any of the other members?” Himchan’s voice was like gravel raking across Jongup’s skin. “Or just me?”
“Just you.” He leaned up on his elbows to press his lips to Himchan’s bow-shaped ones, thrusting his tongue inside and wondering how he had went so long without the taste of Himchan on himself. “I get so mad when you talk up Yongguk, God I want to break his neck, I was your favorite and you just fucking dropped me.”
Himchan shoved him backwards into the bed and yanked angrily on the hem of his boxers. “I didn’t drop you, you little shit.” The insult didn’t even faze Jongup because Himchan’s hand was wrapped tightly around him and his fingers were always scratchy and calloused from playing instruments and the feeling was like heaven every single time. “I gave you a way out without this becoming messy. Without you breaking my fucking heart.” He didn’t even give Jongup a chance to comprehend his words. The next thing he knew Himchan’s mouth was around him all the way and his hands were grabbing Jongup’s and urging him to tangle fingers into his hair.
This was something new for them, something Jongup had always wanted but been too shy to ask for. Sloppy hand jobs were all Himchan ever offered him and only when they didn’t have enough time for sex. The hot suction of his mouth around Jongup’s length had him biting his lips so hard he tasted blood and pulling so roughly on Himchan’s hair that it made him moan loudly around him. His legs were shaking so hard that he had to press his feet flat into the bed to keep them still. That only caused Himchan’s ears and the tips of his hair to brush against his inner thighs and if anything it made him ache even more.
He tried not to move his hips no matter how much his body screamed at him because even though he dreamed about turning Himchan into a raw choking mess he knew he could never actually hurt him. Himchan pulled off long enough to take a staggered breath and his eyes found Jongup’s in the dim room. The tears pooling in the corner of his eyes gave Jongup an added thrill.
“I would have done anything you asked.” Himchan’s voice was dry as sandpaper. Jongup wondered what his moans would sound like while Himchan was fucking him. Hoarse and painful and so delicious. “All you had to do was tell me, Jongup.” His tongue flicked playfully at the swollen head, catching the drips that were almost pouring out by this point. “Tell me how you want me to make you come.”
Jongup was too busy watching the way his cock twitched in Himchan’s delicate hand to answer right away. He wanted so many things, how could he pick just one right now?
“I want to fuck your throat.” He finally answered. “But I don’t want to hurt you.”
Himchan’s gaze softened at the confession. “You won’t hurt me. I trust you. If that’s what you want then I want it, too.” He pressed feather soft kisses against the thin skin of his hipbone and smiled when Jongup jerked from the ticklish feeling. “Do you know how many times I’ve jerked off in the shower imagining my head between your thighs? Didn’t you ever wonder why they all make me take a shower last now?” Himchan laughed and the happy sound made Jongup smile in return. “None of the other guys want to shower after me because of it.” He leaned back down to the bed and wrapped his arms tightly around Jongup’s hips. When Himchan’s thumb brushed against the curve of his ass Jongup gasped and jerked his body straight into Himchan’s open mouth, the tip of his cock hitting him flat against the back of his throat.
“Oh my god.” Jongup held his hands in the air above Himchan’s head and tried his hardest not to lower them but Himchan wouldn’t have it. He let go of him with one arm and grabbed Jongup by the wrists, pulling his hands back to his tussled hair and growling angrily around him. “Himchan.” The humming around him caused his entire body to vibrate and it was all the motivation he needed to slam his hips up and hold Himchan’s head in place. The throat around him tightened deeper and deeper the more he hammered himself upwards but all Jongup could concentrate on was the gags and whimpers Himchan made, muffled and low and everything Jongup had dreamed they would be.
The hands cupping his back scratched at his skin and it made him buck faster because he liked the pain, he loved falling apart but still always knowing he was safe in Himchan’s arms because Himchan was the one who took care of him. All of the members cared for each other in their own special way but at the end of the day Himchan was the one who he turned to when he was homesick or not feeling well or when he just wanted to be held.
“Himchannie…” He croaked, holding Himchan’s head still and filling his throat with more than the older man could handle. He could feel it dripping down out of the corners of Himchan’s lips and over his hips and by the time he was completely empty he felt so spent that he couldn’t even open his eyes to enjoy the wrecked look he had put on Himchan’s face.
“Feel better?” He moaned softly as Himchan licked at the wet places around his skin, cleaning him up and taking care of him just like he always did. “Lay still. I’ll get you some clean clothes.”
He didn’t even have the strength to feel ashamed as he lay in the bed with only his shirt on and panting so loudly that the other members could probably hear him from their rooms.
“What did you mean?” He swallowed down the dryness in his throat and cracked open an eyelid to look down at Himchan as he helped him into clean pajama pants. “When you said I’d break your heart.”
Himchan chewed absentmindedly on the corner of his swollen lips and refused to look up at him. “What do you think it means, Jongup? I’ve never once called you stupid like the rest of the band because I know you’re not. You can figure it out on your own.”
He caught Himchan’s wrist as he tried to pull away. “But maybe I am stupid. Maybe I don’t get stuff as fast as most people. Maybe it takes me a little longer to understand what everyone else already knows.” He got up onto his knees and leaned his forehead into Himchan’s neck. Himchan always smelled like after-shave and gum and sometimes when he was lonely he would lean over his bed and smell the familiar scent just to help him sleep. “I like complicated things. It keeps my brain working.”
Himchan laughed, his lips pressing gently into Jongup’s sweaty hair. “Okay then.” He leaned his head back and smirked down at Jongup. “What else exactly is hiding up there in that secretive brain of yours?”
The image of Himchan bound and gagged on the bed with his cock buried deep inside Jongup and his eyes rolled back in his head popped into Jongup’s thoughts. He smiled innocently at him and shrugged. “Just things.”
Rated: M (pretty much pwp)
Length: 3.3K
I'm so addicted to
All the things you do
When you're going down on me
In between the sheets
Or the sound you make
With every breath you take
It's not like anything
When you're loving me (X)
The only times Jongup ever grew annoyed with Himchan’s constant chatter was when he was extremely tired or extraordinarily horny. He’d glare at the heart-shaped lips as they moved a mile a second and wish he could tell him to just. shut. up.
“And then Bbang put in this ridiculous movie that no one wanted to watch so instead w-“
“Daehyun, you’re going to burn the entire building down if you don’t stop playing around with t-“
“I told him to be nice to his hyungs but Junhong just doesn’t seem to c-“
He nodded at the appropriate times but his brain was a million miles away conjuring a hundred different ways to shut Himchan up for five fucking minutes.
When he was tired he would quietly plead with Himchan to tone it down a little and let him sleep in peace and usually that would work. Himchan may have been a bastard to eighty percent of the population but Jongup knew there was a soft spot somewhere deep inside of the older man for him.
“Poor baby Jonguppie.” Himchan would murmur softly to him as he pulled the exhausted Jongup into his lap. His fingers would stroke gently through Jongup’s dirty brown hair and he would fall asleep to the sound of Himchan’s breaths and the smell of cologne still trying to cling to his clothes.
But when he was horny and desperate? When he had gone so many days without getting off because schedules and dance practice? When he was so close to walking out in the middle of interviews because jerking off sounded so much better than listing his favorite members in order?
That was when he thought he would go insane if Himchan said one more word in his presence.
“Be. Quiet.” He hissed through clenched teeth, fingers squeezing the arm rest roughly as they were headed home after yet another interview. All Himchan was doing was singing quietly to himself and even that annoyed him.
“What’s wrong?” Himchan craned his head to look behind him. “Are you okay, Jongup?”
He wanted to shake his head no and tell him it was because he had been forced to listen Himchan talk up their leader the entire way back to the dorm, all the way up until Yongguk had fallen asleep with his head on Himchan’s shoulder. How great of a bandmate he was, how funny he could be when no one was around, how he missed being roommates sometimes, every single word had grated on Jongup until his entire body prickled with the feeling of being rubbed raw.
“If you want to room with Yongguk then just do it and shut up about it.”
Himchan blinked uneasily at the surprising way Jongup was talking to him. Sure he could get a little snappy sometimes, no one’s perfect after all, but he had never spat his words out with so much venom before. And at him of all people. Himchan was supposed to be his favorite hyung.
“I don’t want to room with Yongguk.” Himchan turned all the way around and pouted his lips down at him and all the blood rushed straight towards Jongup’s jeans and fuck, he should never have gone this long. He thought he might actually get off at the way Himchan blinked. Fucking blinked of all things. “You’re my roommate. I want to stay with you.”
“Then stop talking about it.” He wished he didn’t have to whisper to get his point across. Screaming would have been better. But woe be to anyone that woke Yoo Youngjae up when he was in a deep sleep. “Just stop talking period.”
Himchan still looked concerned as he unbuckled the seatbelt and quietly moved to the back seat beside Jongup. He had to crawl over Junhong to do it, the youngest member’s head falling off of his shoulder and landing awkwardly against Yongguk.
“Come here, Jonguppie.” He wrapped an arm around Jongup’s waist and rested his head in the crook of his neck. “Tell hyung why you’re so angry tonight.”
He muttered under his breath and tried to push Himchan away but his delicate features hid a surprising strength and Himchan held tight to him.
“Nope. Not getting out of it that easily. Tell me why you’ve been so moody all day and maybe I can make it better.”
The ache in his pants flared up with a painful throb at the innocent words. “It’s been awhile.” He grumbled, pointing awkwardly to his lap. “Hurts.”
Himchan’s lips parted in an oh shape and Jongup had to bite down hard on his tongue to hide his whine.
“I could- If you wanted me to-“
“No.” He shook his head and scooted further against the side of the car. “We both agreed to stop.”
Or to be more precise, Himchan decided to stop and he was forced to agree.
“I don’t mind.” Himchan glanced up at the two rows of seats in front of him and made sure everyone else was still fast asleep. “Besides, I’ve missed you.”
He clenched his eyes shut and let out a strangled gasp as Himchan’s palm was suddenly cupped directly over the top of his lap. “S-Stop.” He was forced to cover his mouth with his hand because instead of stopping Himchan only pressed down harder. “You told me-“
“That us sleeping together was complicating things.” Himchan always knew the exact moment to turn his cheerful smile to a darker one. “And it does. But that doesn’t mean that I want you to suffer. Besides,” His teeth caught the lobe of Jongup’s ear and he nipped hard at the sensitive flesh. “You should have told me you couldn’t get off without my help. That’s something I would’ve loved to hear.”
The van turned onto their street and Himchan removed his hand, sitting up pristinely in the seat as they drove closer to their building.
The rest of the members woke up slowly and sluggishly when they pulled into the parking lot. Himchan cooed at each of their swollen faces in turn and helped Yongguk out of the van and into the elevator, followed quickly by a whining Daehyun led by the wrist by Youngjae. Jongup and an extraordinarily heavy Junhong stayed back for the next one. Thankfully the cool air and the difficulty dragging their baby member’s giant body was helping to make his arousal take a second seat.
“See you in a bit.” Himchan grinned, shooting Jongup a wink.
“Ugh.” Junhong yawned wetly into Jongup’s neck, not caring that it made the smaller boy grimace and try to wriggle away. “I guess you two are doing it again.”
“What?” He dropped him to the ground in shock. “What do you mean, doing IT?”
Junhong rolled his eyes. He stretched out onto the cold concrete and sighed in sleepiness. “I mean that Himchan sticks his dick in your ass and moans like a little girl and it’s super gross and the walls really aren’t as thick as you think they are.”
He felt his face heating up and didn’t think he had ever been as embarrassed before. “And the whole band knows?”
“Yep.” Junhong dragged himself to his feet just as the elevator dinged and opened up for them. “Daehyun even sang his entire part in Badman pretending to be Himchan. We still can’t perform that song with a straight face.” He let Jongup press the button for their floor and leaned against him again, his entire weight landing on Jongup’s back. “Did you two get in a fight or something?”
He was still flushed with red but at least Junhong wasn’t making a big deal about it. That was something.
“He told me he wanted to stop.”
Junhong lifted bleary eyes up to look at him. “Himchan said that? Kim Himchan?”
“About three months ago.” They stumbled off at their floor and he practically had to carry Junhong down the hallway. “Said it complicated things. So we stopped.”
“The only thing it complicated was our sleeping schedule.” Junhong let Jongup dig the key out of his pocket because he was too tired and didn’t feel like it. “And it’s not like it messed with the band. Himchan knew we all knew about it. He talked about it with Yongguk all the time. Maybe what you heard and what he meant weren’t the same.” He raised an eyebrow at Jongup as he entered their dorm and headed straight for his bedroom.
Daehyun lay face down on the couch with his mouth open and drool already staining the pillow under his lips. The water running in the bathroom meant Yongguk had used his title of eldest hyung to get first shower. And Youngjae was already sound asleep in his bed, the sound of his music drifting into the living room. The only one missing was-
“Hey.” Himchan appeared in their shared doorway, his lips curling up into a slow smile. “C’mere.”
Jongup walked towards him with as much confidence as he could muster but Junhong’s words had confused him and he was full of too many questions to fit in his head. “You said we had to stop.” He murmured as Himchan shut and locked the door behind them. “You didn’t want me anymore.”
“Oh Jonguppie… Is that what you thought?” Himchan looked at him like he was so naïve and maybe he was because he never did understand how they could touch each other so sweetly and so gently one night and the next day Himchan was finished with him. “That’s so far from what I meant.”
Jongup found himself pushed towards the bed, his back hitting the pillows and Himchan’s lips attached firmly to his jaw. The arousal that had melted down to a soft thrumming while talking with Junhong was now a loud and painful roar in his veins, the blood all rushing to one center area all at once. He had missed the feel of Himchan’s fingers stroking lovingly through his hair mixing in with the sharp bites and sucks on his sensitive skin. Every time Himchan touched him it had taken him less and less time to get him off until near the end of their secret relationship just a mere accidental touch in the hallway was enough to make him tremble in need.
“You’re too young for the things I did to you.” Himchan murmured. His hand reached between them to expertly pop the button of his jeans. The sound of his zipper being pulled down was obscenely loud in the quiet room. “You deserve someone your own age that won’t take advantage of your sweetness.”
He wanted to tell him that the sweetness only existed on the outside because the inside was full of thoughts that would make his own mother faint with horror. How every time Himchan opened his mouth to explosively chatter Jongup wanted to grip him by the hair and shove his head down and give him something to shut him up. Or when Himchan was above him and moving so slowly and so carefully like he was made of glass and would break Jongup wished he could scream at him to bend him over and shove his fingers deep into his mouth and make him beg for it.
“I’m not as sweet as you think I am.” He finally answered, his voice way too high and breathy at the moment to make that statement sound believable. “Not really.”
Himchan finished tugging his jeans off and throwing them across the room. He sat back in between Jongup’s thighs and smiled knowingly. “Is that so?” His palms smoothed across the soft skin of Jongup’s thighs, fingertips barely skimming the bottom of his boxers. “What makes you say that?”
“Sometimes I want to shut you up.” He wondered for a half a second if this is a mistake. If giving a voice to all of the dark wants in his head will make Himchan disgusted by him. “With my cock.”
The surprise on Himchan’s face at his choice of words would have been funny if he wasn’t so hard that he thought he was going to cry.
“You talk too much.” Once the words started pouring out he couldn’t stop them if he wanted to. “And I don’t listen to half the junk you say. But I get hard watching your lips move and when you take a break to stick your tongue out and wet them I want to shove my cock down your throat until you gag.”
Himchan’s nails on his legs were digging into his skin, leaving deep crescent marks that Jongup hoped would stay for hours. He wasn’t running away from him yet which was a good sign Jongup hoped.
“Do you think this about any of the other members?” Himchan’s voice was like gravel raking across Jongup’s skin. “Or just me?”
“Just you.” He leaned up on his elbows to press his lips to Himchan’s bow-shaped ones, thrusting his tongue inside and wondering how he had went so long without the taste of Himchan on himself. “I get so mad when you talk up Yongguk, God I want to break his neck, I was your favorite and you just fucking dropped me.”
Himchan shoved him backwards into the bed and yanked angrily on the hem of his boxers. “I didn’t drop you, you little shit.” The insult didn’t even faze Jongup because Himchan’s hand was wrapped tightly around him and his fingers were always scratchy and calloused from playing instruments and the feeling was like heaven every single time. “I gave you a way out without this becoming messy. Without you breaking my fucking heart.” He didn’t even give Jongup a chance to comprehend his words. The next thing he knew Himchan’s mouth was around him all the way and his hands were grabbing Jongup’s and urging him to tangle fingers into his hair.
This was something new for them, something Jongup had always wanted but been too shy to ask for. Sloppy hand jobs were all Himchan ever offered him and only when they didn’t have enough time for sex. The hot suction of his mouth around Jongup’s length had him biting his lips so hard he tasted blood and pulling so roughly on Himchan’s hair that it made him moan loudly around him. His legs were shaking so hard that he had to press his feet flat into the bed to keep them still. That only caused Himchan’s ears and the tips of his hair to brush against his inner thighs and if anything it made him ache even more.
He tried not to move his hips no matter how much his body screamed at him because even though he dreamed about turning Himchan into a raw choking mess he knew he could never actually hurt him. Himchan pulled off long enough to take a staggered breath and his eyes found Jongup’s in the dim room. The tears pooling in the corner of his eyes gave Jongup an added thrill.
“I would have done anything you asked.” Himchan’s voice was dry as sandpaper. Jongup wondered what his moans would sound like while Himchan was fucking him. Hoarse and painful and so delicious. “All you had to do was tell me, Jongup.” His tongue flicked playfully at the swollen head, catching the drips that were almost pouring out by this point. “Tell me how you want me to make you come.”
Jongup was too busy watching the way his cock twitched in Himchan’s delicate hand to answer right away. He wanted so many things, how could he pick just one right now?
“I want to fuck your throat.” He finally answered. “But I don’t want to hurt you.”
Himchan’s gaze softened at the confession. “You won’t hurt me. I trust you. If that’s what you want then I want it, too.” He pressed feather soft kisses against the thin skin of his hipbone and smiled when Jongup jerked from the ticklish feeling. “Do you know how many times I’ve jerked off in the shower imagining my head between your thighs? Didn’t you ever wonder why they all make me take a shower last now?” Himchan laughed and the happy sound made Jongup smile in return. “None of the other guys want to shower after me because of it.” He leaned back down to the bed and wrapped his arms tightly around Jongup’s hips. When Himchan’s thumb brushed against the curve of his ass Jongup gasped and jerked his body straight into Himchan’s open mouth, the tip of his cock hitting him flat against the back of his throat.
“Oh my god.” Jongup held his hands in the air above Himchan’s head and tried his hardest not to lower them but Himchan wouldn’t have it. He let go of him with one arm and grabbed Jongup by the wrists, pulling his hands back to his tussled hair and growling angrily around him. “Himchan.” The humming around him caused his entire body to vibrate and it was all the motivation he needed to slam his hips up and hold Himchan’s head in place. The throat around him tightened deeper and deeper the more he hammered himself upwards but all Jongup could concentrate on was the gags and whimpers Himchan made, muffled and low and everything Jongup had dreamed they would be.
The hands cupping his back scratched at his skin and it made him buck faster because he liked the pain, he loved falling apart but still always knowing he was safe in Himchan’s arms because Himchan was the one who took care of him. All of the members cared for each other in their own special way but at the end of the day Himchan was the one who he turned to when he was homesick or not feeling well or when he just wanted to be held.
“Himchannie…” He croaked, holding Himchan’s head still and filling his throat with more than the older man could handle. He could feel it dripping down out of the corners of Himchan’s lips and over his hips and by the time he was completely empty he felt so spent that he couldn’t even open his eyes to enjoy the wrecked look he had put on Himchan’s face.
“Feel better?” He moaned softly as Himchan licked at the wet places around his skin, cleaning him up and taking care of him just like he always did. “Lay still. I’ll get you some clean clothes.”
He didn’t even have the strength to feel ashamed as he lay in the bed with only his shirt on and panting so loudly that the other members could probably hear him from their rooms.
“What did you mean?” He swallowed down the dryness in his throat and cracked open an eyelid to look down at Himchan as he helped him into clean pajama pants. “When you said I’d break your heart.”
Himchan chewed absentmindedly on the corner of his swollen lips and refused to look up at him. “What do you think it means, Jongup? I’ve never once called you stupid like the rest of the band because I know you’re not. You can figure it out on your own.”
He caught Himchan’s wrist as he tried to pull away. “But maybe I am stupid. Maybe I don’t get stuff as fast as most people. Maybe it takes me a little longer to understand what everyone else already knows.” He got up onto his knees and leaned his forehead into Himchan’s neck. Himchan always smelled like after-shave and gum and sometimes when he was lonely he would lean over his bed and smell the familiar scent just to help him sleep. “I like complicated things. It keeps my brain working.”
Himchan laughed, his lips pressing gently into Jongup’s sweaty hair. “Okay then.” He leaned his head back and smirked down at Jongup. “What else exactly is hiding up there in that secretive brain of yours?”
The image of Himchan bound and gagged on the bed with his cock buried deep inside Jongup and his eyes rolled back in his head popped into Jongup’s thoughts. He smiled innocently at him and shrugged. “Just things.”