Untitled YoungLo *drabble*
Pairing: YoungLo
Rated: PG
Length: 1.9K
The last time Junhong had seen Youngjae was three months earlier and they had barely spoken because Himchan had spent the entire dinner chattering as loud as he possibly could about what all he had been doing since the group had separated.
Junhong used the first twenty minutes they had been together trying to catch Youngjae's eye but the older boy seemed intent on whatever Jongup was quietly murmuring to him so he'd given up with a frown.
Texts and phone calls had gone unanswered for weeks and Junhong was starting to grow angry over the way Youngjae was obviously ignoring him.
"You two weren't very close when we lived together." Yongguk, always the pacifier, tried to appease him during one midnight phone call. "I barely remember you speaking to each other unless a camera was nearby."
"You went to bed at seven every single night. You never saw us together because you were asleep by then." He loved all of his brothers. They had gone through hell together as a band and were slowly making it out and Youngjae was the only one who didn't seem to care what was happening to him now. "Himchan texts me at least once a day. I talk to Jongup on the phone every weekend. You send me those sappy five page letters all the time because you're too lazy to text, but Young-"
"Writing letters is more personal than using a phone, Junhong. I spent a lot of time choosing personal stationary for each of you."
He rolled his eyes and let Yongguk's rant about how technology was ruining the Earth flow through his ears as he finished folding his laundry.
"But Youngjae's always been more withdrawn than the others. He was loud in interviews but was never that way when it was just us. It probably makes him uncomfortable to keep in touch so often. I haven't even heard from him in a month or so. He won't answer my letters either."
Junhong didn't have the heart to tell him that they didn't even read the letters Yongguk sent. Himchan had sent him a snapchat the day before of him setting the coffee-themed stationary Yongguk had chosen for him on fire as he cackled loudly in the background.
"I miss him," Junhong whispered through the long-distance line. "I miss our family."
"Then go see him and make him talk. And when you do find him please let him know that I'm aware he's writing 'Return to Sender' on my letters because I recognize the handwriting."
---
He showed up on Youngjae's parent's doorstep two days later with a duffel bag, an armful of snacks, and three new movies saved in his Netflix account.
"Junhong?" When Youngjae opened the door he stared at his bandmate through the screen with shock on his face. "What are you doing here? Is everything okay?"
Instead of answering he pushed his way in with a wide grin that covered the nervousness he felt deep inside his belly.
"What's going on?" Youngjae stopped him with a hand on his arm. The concern on his face was sweet but Junhong wasn't going to forget how he'd stopped caring about him the second the band fell apart.
"It's time for a reunion," Junhong answered simply. He dropped the bag beside the couch and patted the seat next to him. "Sit down. I brought movies."
"But you haven't told me w-"
He closed his eyes and let out a tired breath. "Please, can you just… Not interrogate me right now?"
Youngjae was opening and closing his mouth like a fish as he stared down at the boy who had made himself right at home on his couch. "Okay Junhonggie. Whatever you want." When he had settled in beside him, body snug in the heat of Junhong's side, he grinned and placed an arm across the back of the couch behind them. "It's good to see you."
He thought that later he would remember those words and want to throw them back into Youngjae's face because if he had missed him so much then why was he keeping himself so separated from the rest of them? But right now he was going to concentrate on how nice it felt to be tucked in beside his bandmate and how when the movie started Youngjae lowered his arm so that it rested heavy against the back of Junhong's neck.
All of the mean things he wanted to say could wait until the candy was gone, Junhong assured himself.
---
"I'm never eating again," Youngjae sat back with a groan. He pushed the pizza box towards Junhong with his toes. "You've already had four pieces. Finish the rest off."
Junhong licked his fingers and grinned. "I'm still growing. Sorry you're so short."
Youngjae probably would have slapped him across the thigh if they had been back at their dorm. His laughter would have been loud enough for the entire floor to hear as he shoved Junhong to the ground in retaliation and dug sharp knees into his sides.
But today all he did was shrug distractedly and check the time on his watch.
"It's been four hours," He glanced towards the staircase to make sure his parents lights were still off. "We've watched two movies, ate every single sweet you brought and we ordered pizza. I think I get to know why you're here now. So are you going to tell me or am I going to have to smother it out of you?"
His words were lies in Junhong's ear because they both knew that meant Youngjae would have to touch him and it had been made clear that was the furthest thing from his mind.
"Haven't you missed me?" Junhong asked instead. "Hanging out in the dorm all night doing nothing but laughing at Yongguk and watching stupid movies together?" He sat up on his knees as he felt the anger at how Youngjae had been acting flare up again. "What is wrong with you? Why are you doing this?"
Youngjae was silent, his eyes trained on the floor between his socked feet. Finally he sighed and rubbed a palm over his tired eyes. "I'm not sure I'm going to come back. If we even do come back. I might stay home and let you five continue without me."
The words were like a sucker punch to Junhong's lungs. He had never imagined the possibility of a universe without Youngjae in the band. The chubby cheeks that were always pulled up in a grin, the fingertips that always knew just where to scratch his scalp to make him fall asleep after another two hour cartoon marathon. The way his family was only complete when all six of them were together and happy.
"You've been planning this," Clarity started to settle in his mind as he thought back to Youngjae's behavior the last few months before the lawsuit had started. "You knew you were going to do this."
Youngjae didn't deny it but the pain was visible on his face as he reached for him. "I wasn't going to just leave you guys in the middle of the night or anything. Yongguk said-"
"Yongguk?" Now Junhong did lose his breath, staggering away from the couch. "Yongguk knew?" All those times he had called him filled with worry over Youngjae and Yongguk the traitor had never breathed a word to him.
This time when Youngjae's hands grabbed for him he couldn’t move away. When he was pulled forward to land on Youngjae's lap he let it happen, collapsing with a pained breath.
"I would never leave you without talking about it first," Youngjae repeated against his ear. "I wouldn’t do that, Junhong. But I wasn't happy. Even you had to notice that."
He had observed that Youngjae was more closed-off than normal and that his smile was a little more pained but they were young and they were in a stressful business so Junhong hadn't worried too much.
His lips skimmed across Youngjae's cheek, much to the surprise of both of them. The skin under him was cool and soft and when he reached Youngjae's jaw he paused, waiting for a reaction.
"What was that for?" The whisper was tinged with the hint of a smile. Fingers dug into the sensitive skin of Junhong's waist until he squirmed. "Trying to seduce me into staying?"
"You used to kiss me all the time," He knew his cheeks were flushed with embarrassment so he refused to lift his head no matter how hard Youngjae tickled him. "Why'd you stop? I liked it."
The teasing fingers changed course, slipping around his slim hips to hug him closer. Youngjae sighed against his hair and let the quiet of the room surround them for a moment.
"You were a cute kid," He admitted finally. "Always laughing and trying to make us all laugh. I thought it was adorable." Youngjae shifted slightly on the couch, bringing Junhong lower where the only thing separating them was a shallow breath. "But you're not a little kid anymore. I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable."
Junhong didn't know where Youngjae got that from at all. Sure he'd grimace half-heartedly and wipe off the kiss with a scowl but it was always playful and he'd never shied away from affection from any of the members.
Except Himchan. Himchan's kisses were sloppy and wet and he hated them.
"Come home," He pleaded into Youngjae's neck. The pulse under Junhong's lips was fluttering with every panicked breath Youngjae took against him. "Please don't leave us."
"You're the favorite and everyone babies you," Youngjae tried to explain. His voice was strained as he struggled to push Junhong's face up. "Yongguk's our leader. Dae's the best singer. I could never hit the notes he does. No one can dance as well as Jongup. You're good but Jongup breathes dance moves in his sleep. And Himchan, well he's just Himchan. He doesn't need an explanation. But what am I? Why do I even need to go back?"
He relented, pulling away far enough for Youngjae to see the incredulousness on his face. "Are you kidding me? You're an amazing singer. Daehyun may hit the higher notes but he couldn't make his voice sound as warm and soft as yours if his life depended on it. And I don't want to compete with Jongup when he dances. I dance for fun, he dances because he thinks it's as important as sleeping. I'm happy to just be me in the band. And I’m happy you're there. We don't need reasons to be wanted, Jae." He grabbed Youngjae by the jaw and pressed their foreheads together, a little harder than was necessary but he was too angry to care. "And if you do need a reason then it's me. I want you there, I need you there."
"What if I'm not good enough?" The final, lingering worry was barely heard over the sound of his roaring heartbeat as Junhong settled back into his position, safe and secure in the dip of Youngjae's neck. "What if things are too different when we go back?"
Junhong's lips accidentally stumbled across a tiny patch of skin on Youngjae that caused the older boy to stiffen, a sharp breath of air to escape. He stayed immobile, frightened that any sudden movement would scare off the already skittish Youngjae.
"Pretty sure that after tonight everything will be different. I'm okay with that. Are you?"