More Onion horoscopes of DOOM

[joliecanard]

"Taurus April 20 - May 20

Years of treating your body like a temple will backfire this Thursday when savage hordes of Turkish soldiers ruthlessly plunder its depths."

I was planning to go to Macedonia in February, but now I'm not so sure. What if hordes of Ottoman soldiers are lying in wait?

Comments

[prozacisyummy]

Fucking Ottoman Turks. First they put an end to the real successor of Rome, the Byzantine Empire, and now they are going to pillage your temple. Wait. Pillage your temple. Your temple is your body. Pillage your body. On second thought, Amanda, you may enjoy it.

Just more pro-Byzantine Bullshit

[cptinramius]

Wanh wanh poor Constantinople. Boo Hoo. Its been the same old shit with you for years man. We all know the rightful heirs to the Roman Empire were the Saxons.

Re: Just more pro-Byzantine Bullshit

[prozacisyummy]

Bullshit. Saxons my ass. If you want to make a case for the heirs of rome to be barbarians, say the Franks. DOnt give me this saxon bullshit.

Icons are for losers

[cptinramius]

You know I just wanted to piss you off.

Adrian 1
John 0

Still you know the Byzantines are the poor mans Rome. Why don't you just say you like Skeet Ulrich?

[belacane]

hahahhahahahah ... that made me laugh histarically!