Santorum! Finally. (should be fixed now)
Ok, so I’ve been busy with my new m/m novel, now finished (hurrah!) and with getting my first humorous romance novel ready for publication, which it is, and you can get copies of ‘Prior Engagements’ tomorrow on Amazon. J The book also has a sneaky preview of my new gay novel at the end.
But, here is the much sought after Santorum update J Sorry it took so long.
Lying in a bed with a guy was not as scary as Dean had supposed it would be.
It was actually nice, curled up around a warm Castiel, listening to him hum to himself whenever one of them moved slightly, brushing together skin that had previously been out of reach. Castiel’s hair tickled his throat, and his body was slim and smooth, with pleasantly silky hair in the acceptable places. And yes, Dean was happy to be the ‘big spoon’ on this occasion. Baby steps after all.
They stay like that for a very long time, until a decidedly ‘afternoon’ feeling creeps through the bedroom. They get up briefly to make coffee, which they drink back in bed. Castiel stirs once to use the bathroom, and while he’s gone, Dean flicks the radio on, and then they curl up and listen to it until the music turns to a baseball game, and then the news.
Dean doesn’t think he can actually let Castiel go, which is a little embarrassing.
Eventually, Castiel rolls over to look at him, and rubs his hand over Dean’s stomach, which is warm, and only gets warmer inside at the pressure of Castiel’s palm.
“What do you think, about this?”
“It doesn’t suck.”
Castiel flicks his navel. “I mean-”
“How do I feel about lying around in bed with you? It’s awesome, it’s...way better than, say, lying in bed by myself, or with someone else.” Dean sighed and couldn’t seem to keep his hand from creeping over Castiel’s thigh and over his spine. “I don’t know about the rest, ok? This is all...I mean, it’s new so...I need a while to, work out what the fuck is going on with me.”
“I know,” Castiel leant forwards and kissed Dean’s chest. “I remember.”
“Yeah, but you got all this stuff figured out when you were a teenager. I’m the one too stupid to know that I was-”
Castiel leant up and glared at him. “I do not sleep with stupid, ignorant people.”
“I didn’t say ignorant.”
“Well, I felt we were moving in that direction.” Castiel shrugged, “But, as and when you want to...move things along, just...give me a sign.” He carefully placed one knee on the other side of Dean’s hip, straddling him in an attempt to get to the door to the sitting room. “Breakfast waffles for dinner?”
Both of them froze when Castiel’s thigh brushed Dean’s erection.
“Now, is that a sign...or more of a sign-post?”
“Shut up.”
“I only meant that, for a man who seems so much in turmoil...you seem fairly...adamant, on this point.”
“Well, the point doesn’t know what it’s talking about...because clearly, we are not...there yet.”
“Two inches back and we could be.” Castiel pointed out. He didn’t miss the way that Dean swallowed at that. “I know you think that taking it slow is, the normal way to handle this situation...but, we have been making porn, together...for a while. And, it seems to me, knowing you from an outside standpoint, that you are, a little bit of a slut.”
“I am not.”
“Little bit.”
“Am not.”
“You’re rubbing against my leg.”
“Ugnh,” Dean tipped his head back on the pillows. “This is difficult.”
“You could make it simple,” Castiel pointed out. “By just doing, whatever you want. And, uh...if it makes that decision a little easier,” he leant down until his breath tickled Dean’s ear. “When I went to that bathroom...I may have, prepared, for this eventuality.”
“So you think I’m easy, that it?” Dean glared.
“No. But I know I am, so-”
Castiel didn’t get to finish his sentence, on account of his getting thrown onto his back and all. But he didn’t really mind.
Dean had thought a little (well, a little more than that) about what it would be like to actually fuck Castiel. It was hard not to, seeing as they’d done practically everything else. He’d tried to match it up with similar experiences that he’d had with women, working on a differences/similarities pattern. Soft curves to smooth, hard planes, squeals for grunts and groans, powdery skin for hair and sweat, and instead of a vagina there’d be...
Dean’s not a prude, OK? But he’s never really gone...there. There are too many horror stories out there, and it just seems like something that should only happen in porn, like...well, like rimming, for example. He’s willing to accept that maybe, just maybe, there’s something about the ass that might...feel, good. But he’s never actually thought about what it might be like.
Thankfully, when it comes down to it, there isn’t a lot of thinking involved.
Castiel is practical, and very hands on. As soon as Dean’s got him down on the bed, he manages to get a hand between them and take firm, but gentle hold of Dean’s dick, getting it where they both want it to be.
Cas isn’t a virgin, or anything in the neighbourhood of it. He’s more on the corner of experience row and slut avenue. So, when Dean starts actually moving into him, it’s not as tight as he’d feared - like, so tight that it would be physically impossible to get more than a cocktail stirrer up there.
Because he’s definitely not a cocktail stirrer.
That’s not to say it isn’t tight. It is, so much so that he actually has to stop a couple of times, because he can feel himself start to lose it. And he’s trying so hard not to come right away, because that would be so embarrassing, but at the same time it’s what he really, really wants to do. The fact that Castiel’s legs are thrown over his shoulders, and that Castiel is steadily urging him forwards, taking everything he’s giving and still wanting more, is not strictly helpful. Neither is the fact that there is no end to Cas, no point at which there’s just no more space, so Dean finds himself screwing as deep as possible, and still aching to go deeper.
Castiel’s body moves in helpless little jerks, but his ass is more than compensating by clinging to Dean’s dick like it was moulded from it in the first place. And a minute or so in, When Dean is pushing as hard as he can into Castiel’s willing body, he can’t even remember why he ever thought the idea of butts was gross, because his whole body is literally throbbing with pleasure.
If an independent observer was watching with a stopwatch (and why would they be? Castiel had two mortise locks to discourage Gabriel from doing just that) they would see that, what for Castiel and Dean felt like about a half hour of unparalleled, filthy ecstasy, lasted about six and a half minutes.
Which was pretty good considering that Dean had been a quick thrust from coming at around the sixteen second mark.
Even after they were finished, lying next to each other on the bed, Castiel could still feel different parts of him catching the wave of his climax. He reached over and squeezed the top of Dean’s thigh. Dean, happy to just lie and bask in the breathless silence, patted his hand and let his eyes drift shut.
“I’ve actually been thinking about that for....a while.” Castiel finally said.
“Since?”
“Since I saw you naked.”
Dean kicked him softly on the shin without opening his eyes, or really moving any other part of his body.
“Was it ok...for a first time?” Castiel asked a while later.
“It was....I don’t think I thought it could be as good as, you know, doing it the other way, like, with a girl.” He opened his eyes to glance over at Castiel.
“But it was?”
“Different, but yeah, really good.”
Castiel leant up and looked down at him curiously. “You don’t seem...”
“What?” Dean said, frowning.
“I don’t know. It’s just...when I had my first time, with a guy it was like...wow, ok, this is what I’ve been missing. This is sex. I just...got it. Right then. Like I’d been walking around like an alien or something, and I’d finally found out what I was, and that it was ok.”
Dean shrugged. “Maybe I’m not as deep as you. It was sex, really, really good sex. And I like you, and it made me happy so...that’s it.”
Castiel moved closer, and Dean felt the warmth of his body as their skin touched. He could definitely see himself waking up like this, every day, for...well, maybe forever.
Which was new, and kinda scary.
“Are you sure there isn’t something...more, that you want from me?” Castiel asked quietly, “something I wasn’t doing. Because, there’s a lot of ways to be with a guy, and that was just one, so, if it didn’t completely-”
“Dude. I am satisfied. I’m so fricking satisfied that I can’t feel my legs. Stop with the post-performance anxiety.”
“Ok,” Castiel said, blushing. “Just, if there’s something you want to do, you can tell me.”
“I will,” Dean said.
But, even as he said it, he knew he couldn’t. Because, spooning a guy? That was ok. Even breaking his no-butts rule? He could live with that. But if he opened his mouth and told Cas that, since that little experiment with having his tongue up his ass, he’d been thinking about getting pounded into the mattress?
Dean was not ready to surrender his man-cards yet.
He might have said something, maybe. If, at that moment, the two mortise locks on Cas’s door hadn’t burst open, and four cops hadn’t thrown open the bedroom door, and ordered them out of the bed.