you know, its really weird....i just realized im kinda overdramatic. i worry about stuff that i really shoulndt worry about, and i concern myself in things that are way beyond my control. im gonna stop. just plain....stop. i dont know, this just hit me out of nowhere. i also havnet much sleep in the past few days, like really bad, and i havent ( Read more... )

ok. i apologize once again. i profusely apologize for my vague words and intentions. it shouldve remained private, but i felt the need to vent. the problem has been recognized, and i know someone out there knows what it is. i have made my decision on what it is i am to do. it will be...extremely hard. it only concerns one person and one person only ( Read more... )

i really hate feeling weak, like i'm not in control of my own feelings. kinda like how i feel right this second and most of today. i mean.... its just so....unusual. all of my emotions are hyper-sensitive, and i don't know why. the smallest things make me angry or somber. it just...feels like shit. and now...i just wanna kill someone. my parents ( Read more... )

ok. last entry....very vague. im sorry. i dont really know how to express my feelings through words when its something that abstract, so i apologize. it's still there but now....strangely...and dont be grossed out....but i feel really horny. and i usually dont feel like that. i hate it. i even hate saying it, but thats what im feeling. like i cant ( Read more... )

i am never going to eat a fried oreo again. i feel like im gonna be sick. thespians was fun. lost shakespeare, but w.e. grades are slowly rising again, yay, and well, my social life is great. i can always find a flaw in everything though. do you ever feel like youre lying to someone when youre not doing anything? do you ever feel that really big ( Read more... )

i really....hate....waiting. i hate stress. i have to magically lift my grade in calc up but i know martins an idiot so he will be all mumbly. do you ever feel like you're pushed beyond your limits? of course. its high school. i was thinking about submitting stuff for the literary mag but i know no one really likes prose, and thats my style of ( Read more... )

my eyes are watery as hell. i always get like that around fans for some reason. stuck in the house, with nothing to do. its almost two in the morning and i cant go to sleep. i think im gonna watch donnie darko, and i hope i can stay awake. finally beat the longest ps game ever today. the legend of dragoon. four discs. sixty hours of play. i dont ( Read more... )

look. just...disregard the last entry. i wrote it under false pretenses and weird moods. i apologize to those i offended. i dont know what came over me. im happy though. im not depressed or anything. lonely, yes, but who isnt? look, just, comment. happy comments. this is a happy entry, so happy comments will be needed. yours, nick.

god it feels so great to be free of that musical. i dunno why but im still kinda, i dont know, upset about a lot. i just dont understand why i dont like the women i meet. i mean, do i have to wait until college to meet someone that i want? yeah, a college girl would be really nice. it would be even nicer if i could find someone in high school with ( Read more... )

i thought about it even more today. there were a lot more good points, but the thoughts kept popping in. i mean, it's just torturing me everyday. i cant help just secluding myself. when the musical is over, life will just begin to be the same, and it will be worst. just days running upon days, more schoolwork, more work work and i mean, god, having ( Read more... )