so lately i have been feeling really out of place... kinda fake. i feel very fake to everyone. not so much that other people feel that way about me at all. more or less i don't feel like i am being real to myself. i don't really know what any of this is stemming from considering... emotionally. i think i am the most stable, understanding, and sure ( Read more... )

honestly. 2003 was SUCH a good year. and new years eve was by far the best night of it. there were shitty parts but you are gonna run into shit with anything so i won't even mention those. i really got to spend it with the people i truly love. i met a lot of really cool people too. my party was seriously such a blast. so many people came. even a ( Read more... )

so tonight i finally hung with paige for like the first day this week other than christmas which i spent with her family at her grandma's house. i have been so depressed the last week about everything. honestly. just everything in general. but i cleared up a lot of stuff with paige tonight. well. she cleared stuff up with me very simply. and then ( Read more... )

1. What did you do in 2003 that you'd never done before ( Read more... )

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why don't people mean what they say? i mean. they do. but like... i think it's funny how people will say to do or not do something because they know it's the right thing. but i understand that on a lot of other levels too. because sometimes the right thing can mean shit. death cab tonight was amazing. my favorite part was when they played ( Read more... )

[name] jonathan schley ( Read more... )

i don't post this thing unless it's important. and i feel like this is important. tonight. i never really understand responsibility. or the whole idea of people like when they like someone like...wanting to "save" them. i never really liked that. i'm not saying i like it now. but i guess i kinda understand that whole idea now. dunno why. it's just ( Read more... )

i seriously miss all the people that matter most to me in my life. and i don't care how much they hate me or dislike me or what. i miss alex. i miss rachael. i miss colie. i miss everyone. i wish i would stop being such a stupid fuck up so i can have all these people back in my life. i wish i would stop hating life. i wish i would stop hating ( Read more... )

i'm confused. i don't understand girls. i don't even know if i want to understand girls anymore after the last few weeks. but then i go in circles and have no idea why i'd want to give up on something so special. i see my friend get hurt. which doesnt matter really for mysituation cause im not them and i realize that but it does put doubt in your ( Read more... )