Venting.

Mar 15, 2015 07:02

My plane leaves in two days. I keep moving between mild anxiety and serious freakout.  Right now I'm in serious freakout.  I'm afraid I've set myself up for complete failure ( Read more... )

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Comments 19

solteronita March 15 2015, 14:07:44 UTC
Just think of it as an adventure! Whether the relationship part works out or not, you'll have an awesome trip. :D

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jonboi_net March 15 2015, 14:16:22 UTC
I'm trying to concentrate on the trip, but I've got so much invested in this relationship I keep circling back to that.

For whatever reason mornings are really difficult lately. The gym opens in 45 minutes. Once I get up and moving around maybe I'll feel better.

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solteronita March 15 2015, 14:22:28 UTC
Yeah, I know it's easier said than done to "stop worrying." Hope the gym eases your mind!

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jonboi_net March 15 2015, 14:27:03 UTC
I hope I didn't sound unappreciative. I'm just in one of those moods this morning.

Thank you!

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dreamtygre March 15 2015, 14:16:19 UTC
Calm down!! :D Easy for me to say. Don't forget that you are also going to be seeing some amazing sights while you go.

One more thing, Steven and I were apart (more than together) for the first 5 years (or so) of our marriage. It's hard but if it's meant to be, it will happen.

You also made a move once before, what's to stop you from doing it again? If you are that unhappy where you are, change. I know it's harder than that.

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jonboi_net March 15 2015, 14:24:03 UTC
Thanks, Ty! Like I was saying last night, I think the anticipation is getting the better of me.

I definitely need to make some changes this year. I've been unhappy here for way too long.


... )

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sugrc0atdlies March 15 2015, 16:26:27 UTC

You've not mentioned her age before.  Don't concentrate on that though.  Russian girls at 21 are probably a lot different than American girls at 21. I'm sure they are bc I don't think you could have gotten this serious about an American 21 yr old without wanting to knock some sense into her.
You're just going to have to take a deep,  calming breath whenever you start freaking out and force yourself to remember that this is an adventure!  It'll be okay.
In the meantime,  be thinking of where you think you should move to next.  Maybe Google it.  See where Google thinks you'd be happy.

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jonboi_net March 15 2015, 17:34:11 UTC
For the first month, I thought she was 25/26. And I only thought that because I knew she was in school. She doesn't come across as 21 at all.

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sugrc0atdlies March 15 2015, 17:45:37 UTC

Age ain't nothing but a number! :D
I really hope things work out.  You deserve all the happiness in the world.

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jonboi_net March 15 2015, 20:12:26 UTC
Thank you!

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saintedwyn March 15 2015, 16:35:26 UTC
I know a guy who flew halfway around the world to meet a girl for the first time. His story ends with him marrying the girl and soon he can retire and live off her doctor salary ( ... )

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jonboi_net March 15 2015, 17:20:58 UTC
Oh man, that's what I needed to hear. You've told me your story before, but I needed the reminder. I wish I could like your comment or give some karma.

If I can find some happiness and stability on this side of the pond, I could deal with distance and not rush into a shitty situation in Russia. BTW, have you seen all this mess with Putin hasn't been seen in over 10 days? Apparently it's either the flu or a coup.

She does have a 16 year old sister. I wonder what the legal age is in Rus... hey, stop putting ideas in my head!

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sugrc0atdlies March 15 2015, 17:47:59 UTC

Hahaha! 

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saintedwyn March 16 2015, 00:15:23 UTC
I didn't put that idea in your head! I said family is off limits... for this first trip. You gotta build up to that. Stick to friends for the three way for now, preferably female, but I don't judge. Three points is three points, however you get it ( ... )

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tasty March 16 2015, 23:07:52 UTC
Regardless of what happens, you're going to have so much fun!

i think that being logical and freaking out/worrying/thinking about things in advance is totally normal. It means that you're thinking through all the possibilities and being thoughtful on everything that could happen.

HAVE FUN! ENJOY YOURSELF! VENT HERE ALL YOU WANT!

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jonboi_net March 16 2015, 23:12:00 UTC
Oh! I meant to come back and post here. I had a good conversation with her last night. The past couple of weeks I didn't feel like she was taking this visit seriously, or that I meant much to her. I was on the verge of cancelling the whole thing. But last night she told me all the stuff she had planned, and I realized she is putting some thought into this. I am much better now.

Thank you!

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